If I Didn't Want To Do This Alone
by rosieloves23
Summary: Brooke is pregnant at the end of S3 but she breaks up with Lucas and a twist means he doesn't fight for her- now after nearly 5 years apart they're drawn together again- will love be reignited? now will lucas fight for brooke? Brucas story.
1. Without You

**A/N: So, completely new idea, new story, I know it's totally different to my other story in that it's brucas not leyton but hey, I like to keep myself challenged. Anyway, storyline is that: S3 happens pretty much the same way all the way through except that Brooke and Lucas break up at the wedding and she IS pregnant (and she's not mad at Peyton)- the wedding goes down slightly differently, but all will be explained. So season 4 goes slightly differently in my version... and we're four years on with flashbacks and Brooke is living in New York. Basically this is a Brooke, Brucas story and I hope you guys like it. (I still love the leyton but I love brooke too and I wanted to explore something different so please no angry accusations.) If you like, review please and i'll carry it on...**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Brooke pushed a strand of glossy dark hair behind her ear and added the finishing touches to her last drawing with a fine liner pen. She scrunched her nose in concentration, oblivious to the noise coming from the television and added the tiny details that made her wedding dress collection so popular. Her latest fall collection was to be unveiled at a board meeting in the morning, and Brooke was nervous, the constant riling her mother had given her in the early years of her company had beaten away at her confidence and now she was determined to show she could handle things alone at the top.

"Momma-" a sleepy sounding voice trailed through from the living room space and her gorgeous five year old appeared dragging his teddy bear behind him. Brooke watched him lovingly and her raspy voice was warm as she reached out to him.

"What is it baby? You ready for bed?" Jayden Sawyer was clearly tired as he clambered up onto his mother's knee and snuggled into her chest. She stroked his hair and felt her heart swell with love as he drifted off to sleep.

"Ok baby come on- i'll carry you to the bathroom but then you gotta do your teeth ok?"

"Mmm uh- don't want to."

"Jayden Sawyer Davis you are doing your teeth before you go to bed! Do you wanna wake up with black teeth?"

"No!"

"Then you clean those teeth sir!" She stood up, her arms slipped around her son and she clacked across their top floor apartment and into the bathroom and gently lowered Jayden onto his blue stool that stood by the sink.

"Now brush!" She ordered, before pulling off her own shoes and relaxing as she watched Jayden sulkily run his toothbrush under the tap. He looked so like his father when he pouted.

"I bet Jamie _never_ has to brush his teeth," he said crossly.

"Are you kidding honey? Aunt Haley runs a tighter ship at the Scott residence than any backstage fashion show- and they run tight ships."

"I know Momma."

"Besides, Jamie is younger than you my lovely boy- and if he doesn't brush his teeth he'll get black teeth before you- so you should set a good example!"

Brooke ruffled his hair affectionately and padded through to her bedroom to pull off her work clothes wearily. It was nice she and Jayden had this time together, she'd been so caught up with arranging the fall line she'd hardly had a minute with him since he'd started school. She sighed and lay back on the bed and reached over for the telephone and quickly dialled a number. She closed her eyes briefly as she listened to it ring out, she opened one eye to survey the room. Her bedside table held a black and white photograph of herself and Jayden taken about a year ago, a massive jotter she kept close in case flashes of inspiration came to her at the dead of night, and a frame that held three more photographs in. There was one of her best friend P Sawyer laughing, holding Jayden up to put his paint covered hands towards the camera, paint smudged across both their faces, another of Haley, Peyton and herself taken at Haley and Nathan's second wedding, one of the most heartbreaking and beautiful days Brooke had ever experienced and a third one of Brooke and Jayden, taken hours after he was born, all wrapped up in blue blankets and Brooke was half smiling- half crying at the camera- and she swore that you could see the tiniest of smiles on Jayden's own face- no-one disagreed with her.

"Hello? Brooke are you there?" Brooke was jerked from her memories when she realised Peyton had answered the phone and was speaking.

"Peyton! Sorry honey I drifted off."

"You ok B Davis?" She heard her friend's voice filled with concern and felt immediately stronger.

"Yeah sweetie, i'm fine, I just wanted to say hi- Jayden and I are just winding down, getting ready for bed- how are you?"

"All good here thanks- lazy man here just fell asleep on my arm so it took me a while to answer the phone cos I was waving it around trying to get feeling back into it!" Brooke chuckled and then felt a lump growing in her throat as she pictured her best friend looking down at her man happily- Peyton had the life Brooke had always dreamed of. She couldn't begrudge her friend- she was happy Peyton had found her happily ever after- Brooke just wished it hadn't been at such personal cost- which her friend knew nothing about. Peyton had come to her when she was about six months pregnant, eyes full of fear and Brooke had known without any words what her friend was going to ask. Of course she didn't mind, no she was sure, she wanted her friend to be happy, it was a long time ago anyway. Promise. I love you too P Sawyer.

"_I love you too, pretty girl."_

She had discovered she was pregnant as she filled in college applications and her dark eyes fell on the date of the form and her brain started calculating urgently. She had sat back in her chair, staring around the room filled with happy students whose biggest problems were whether they got into the right sorority. Her brown eyes filled as she realised she wouldn't be going to college after all. She had gone home and to make matters worse opened a letter inviting her to a fashion show in New York. She had practically run over to Peyton's, throwing herself onto her friend's bed dramatically and then announcing her news- Brooke Davis was never one to beat around the bush. Peyton had stared at her for a second and then clambered onto the bed beside her and given her the biggest hug ever.

"Have you told Lucas?" She asked softly, Brooke had pulled away from her slowly, her eyes huge, oh god. Lucas. "Is it his?" Peyton had said carefully, Brooke's eyes had met hers, full of fear and regret, "I don't know."

"Brooke are you still there?"

"Yeah honey, i'm here," Brooke said quietly, Jayden came wandering into the room and climbed up onto the bed beside her. Absent-mindedly she stroked his hair, "you still ok to put us up with accommodation for the week?" She asked teasingly.

"Ah ha, yeah who'd have ever thought- Peyton Sawyer- hostess," her friend said darkly, but her voice was light. "But seriously we're all ready and waiting for the fabulous and very famous Brooke Davis to make her return to Tree Hill, even if it is only for the week."

"Well thank you- we're looking forward to it."

"Yeah same- I miss you like crazy B Davis, give my godson my love and i'll let you two sleep now- we'll be at the arrivals gate waving massive banners for you on Saturday!"

"Can't wait- yeah pass on my love to Hales and Jamie and," her voice caught in her throat- "everyone else there."

"Sure thing- " Peyton had missed the catch, "see you Saturday- love you best friend."

"Yeah honey, I love you too." Brooke put the phone down gently and brushed her eyes quickly before looking down at her son- his eyes were full of worry.

"Momma what's wrong?"

"Oh nothing baby- Momma just misses her friends that's all!"

"But you're sad," he clambered up onto the pillows and stroked her hair, "don't be sad Momma." She pulled him closer, breathing in his familiar scent and then smiled, he was everything she needed.

"I'm not sad any more baby, you made me all better, in fact, i'm feeling much better!" And with that she began tickling him, he shrieked with pleasure and writhed around shouting no no! But she showed no mercy until finally, exhausted, she pulled him onto her knees and he tucked under the duvet, happy and content.

"You wanna a story buddy?"

"Will you tell me about daddy?" Her heart began racing and she had to steady her voice as she spoke again.

"Oh not tonight sweetie- how about a story from your book shelf?"

"You never want to tell me about daddy Momma," his voice was reproachful, "why not?"

"Oh it's very complicated sweet heart, but I promise one day when you're older i'll tell you everything you want to know ok?"

"Ok," he said simply and he jumped up and ran towards his room to chose a story. Brooke reached over for her night clothes- a massive ravens tee shirt and a pair of tiny black shorts- and then pulled her chocolately brown hair away from her face.

"_The difference is I love you Brooke."_

She shook herself, there was no need for a trip down memory lane, she had made her choice. She beamed as Jayden reappeared- relieved she had an excuse to turn away from the past for now, it haunted her enough when she closed her eyes- she didn't need it floating into her waking hours too.

"The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe? That's a really long one baby- I can't read it all tonight."

"Pleeease?" His voice was wheedling- it was so difficult to say no to him, so like his father. She sighed and gave in;

"Ok- only until you fall asleep," he cheered and jumped onto her queen sized bed, his tiny body hardly taking up any space as he buried himself in her cream silk duvet. She began reading, her low voice melodic and her hand stroked his hair the whole time. For them both, this was their favourite part of the day. Jayden loved to watch his Momma's beautiful face as she read- as she laughed at the story, made all the different voices for him and made sure he was comfy. She was his favourite person in the whole world- she was even better than his puppy Walker- who was at this moment, asleep on the sofa. Jayden never felt safer than when he was with his mother, even Uncle Nathan didn't feel as safe- he knew his mother would walk through fire to defend him and he carried her love around proudly like an invisible shield. Brooke dreaded the day when he felt he was too grown up to hug her in public. Peyton teased her and said no-one could not hug Brooke if she demanded it, but Brooke wanted Jayden to stay five forever so that she could always draw comfort from his small arms.

She glanced down at him now and smiled to herself, he was fast asleep. She bent down and kissed his cheek, pulled the duvet up around him and slipped out of bed- Jayden rolled over into the warm patch his mother had been occupying and snuggled down into the pillow. Brooke padded back into the kitchen and switched on the kettle, she leant back against the counter and her eyes fell on the calendar. The 21st was circled, it was the day she flew home for Haley and Nathan's second babies christening. The day she returned to the place her heart had been for the last five years. She had shut out any feelings she had, locked them away in a place no-one could see.

"_I love you Brooke, I don't know how else to say it."_

Only Nathan had suspected her for not being entirely truthful about her reasons for being alone but he hadn't said anything once she'd warned him not to. He had watched her pack up for LA, helped her with last minute details and then promised if she needed anything he could be there in record time. Peyton had joined her in LA after her graduation- Brooke had graduated in absence and Peyton had told her there hadn't been a louder applause when her name was read out. Over the next four years Peyton had been Brooke's rock, which made things so much more complicated and heart wrenching for Brooke. They had spent long nights together passing Jayden between them, comforting him, soothing him. When Peyton had decided to create her own record label Brooke had offered to back her and since then Peyton had been able to pay her back with double interest- but still Brooke felt guilty. She was harbouring feelings she should have told Peyton about long ago- but she had been there, done the whole triangle thing long ago and Peyton was happy- she didn't want to make her best friend rehash the past- open up old wounds and look to a shaky future. What Peyton had done for Brooke had been more than enough to make Brooke sure her best friend was sticking around but still.. she couldn't risk the most important friendship of her life.

The kettle boiled just as the phone rang again, "oh crap," she muttered, diving for the phone to silence it, she had forgotten to unplug the one by her bed and she prayed it didn't wake Jayden.

"Hello?"

There was a silence and then a crackly voice, "hello?"

"Yes hello?"

"Brooke?" She closed her eyes, she knew that voice, hundreds of miles and a bad connection couldn't take away that jolt of recognition, she couldn't move, couldn't speak, "Brooke?"

Slowly she put the phone back on the hook, not tonight. She realised she was crying and angrily knocked a mug onto the floor in her desperation to find a tissue, "dammit!" She crouched down to the floor trying to pick up the pieces, "dammit!"

"_I am not pushing you away Lucas, I am holding on for dear life."_

She was afraid of going home, afraid of what she would see, who she would see, what ghosts would rise up and confront her. Here in New York she was safe, her life was in a little bubble here- she and Jayden lived happily- phone calls with Peyton, Haley, everything at home held at arms length, and now she couldn't avoid going it.

In the darkness of his bedroom Lucas lay staring up at the ceiling. The figure beside him slept soundly and he listened to her breathing, so even, so unbroken, so peaceful. His own mind was far from peaceful, far from content. He knew he should be happy, his life was everything he could have asked for, everything he wished for, but now he had it, he had discovered that all along he needed something else, someone else. And she was far away from him. Cut off after he betrayed her, he had messed up. Lucas Scott was used to messing up, but normally he could win the subject back over, but not this time. She was stubborn, so beautiful, so strong, so stubborn. And now she had left him forever. And now he couldn't sleep. She was coming to him next week and he didn't know how he was going to handle it. Just the mention of her name sent him into a dizzying panic. He needed to impress her, but how do you impress someone that hates you more than the fire of a thousand suns? She had liked that line when they'd watched the movie, said it was passionate, she had always had passion- she had loved him fiercely, and he her, and then he had broken her. He hadn't meant to, everything had just been happening so quickly and he'd freaked out and then she'd gone, left Tree Hill and he'd had to pick up the pieces. An old love had been rekindled and he's thought he was happy, but it was a temporary fix, and now he didn't know how to fight his way out of his own tangled web. He sighed and rolled over frustratedly. When he'd heard her name tonight- a tingling had shot up and down his spine and he'd had to climb out of bed and leave the room. He hadn't been able to control the impulse to talk to her, to hear her voice.

"_It's ok, i'm here for you."_

"Hey," he whispered softly, "i'm just going out," he kissed a shoulder briefly and then pulled on a hoodie before swinging out the door- he knew where he was headed. Into the darkness, the blackness, to escape to anywhere that took away his thoughts- filled with visions of her hugging him, kissing him, holding him, watching him, being with him, they were all he had now. Images.

"_I keep that stuff as a reminder of how badly I screwed up, with you. To remind myself if I ever get a second chance... i'd never let you go again."_


	2. Stop The Clocks

Brooke awoke from a fitful sleep and rolled over to check the time, 4:30 am. She had to go in for her presentation but then she had the whole afternoon to pack for tomorrow's home coming. She rolled over the side of the bed and landed on the floor with an omph. Her hair splayed across her face and she scrunched her pretty features up against the soft carpet, she didn't want to move. Slowly, inch by inch she dragged herself across to the bathroom. It was like a game, arms out, pull, knees pushing forward, her skin rubbed up against the fibres and coloured red. She suddenly found the whole situation ridiculous and began giggling into the floor, she was never one to dwell on a bad day and yesterday hadn't been great. But today would be different- she was sure of it. She jumped up and sat down on her satin stool and scrutinised her face- a beautiful oval one with dimples and a pair of dark brown eyes stared back at her- not bad she thought happily before reaching for her brush and pulling it through her tangle of hair.

She made her way to the kitchen, picking up Jayden's toys as she went and sat down at the table to review her note cards for the meeting. She checked all her designs were in the right order and that her notes matched the designs and then leant her chin on her hands and surveyed the room. It was a spacious apartment decorated by Peyton and herself- cream walls with hundreds of multi coloured hand prints across them, red sofas, a darker red carpet that ran through from the hall to the living room and black and white photographs on every available space. The glass cabinet by the television contained hundreds of Disney dvds and plenty of Grey's Anatomy and ER and several yoga dvds she hardly used. She didn't have time to exercise but when she did it was running- she found it therapeutic. She could let her mind wonder, think about the next holiday she and Jay would take, the latest collection she was designing, she tried to avoid thinking about a certain other person she knew who ran...

She spent the next hour and a half flicking through the news channels, tidying up the living room and generally avoiding staying still. Finally she finished fluffing pillows and threw herself into the shower. She hummed the latest Britney Spears tune under her breath before reaching for a towel and shaking her hair around like a mane- she felt alive again. She pulled on a black A-line satin skirt and a white chiffon sleeveless blouse, twisting her hair up and pulling on her favourite necklace- a locket with a photograph of Jayden in. She was ready to take on the board- it would be her first meeting without Victoria belittling her every word and shooting down every idea she had that wouldn't sell by the bucket load. She tapped through to Jayden's room and jumped on the bed.

"Hey baby wakey wakey!"

"Mmmm Momma!" He pulled his pillow over his face and laughing she poked him in the ribs through the duvet;

"Come on sleepy head-you gotta get up- Millie will be here soon- you know you're gonna spend the morning with her and then this afternoon we can go the park or we can go to the play ground- what do you think?"

His head emerged from under the pillow, his hair sticking up all over the place, she sniggered, "you look so silly," and reached to flatten it.

"Can we go to the playground? Alex said there was a new slide there when he went last week!"

"A new slide? Awww then we better go check it out!" She ruffled his hair again, "come on my boy Lucky Charms are waiting to be eaten-" she edged towards the door, "otherwise i'll just have to eat them all myself..." He pushed away the duvet and leapt out of bed, tackling her legs;

"Nooo! You can't eat them Momma- they're mine!" She began moving forward but he latched on to her legs pulling her backwards.

"Heyyy come on!" She was giggling and began pulling herself along the wall with his head digging in to her thighs- he was getting taller. "Baaabe!" She toppled over and caught him up in her arms, they sat in the corridor between the bedrooms, giggling and hugging. He clambered up onto her shoulders and she staggered up and moved towards the kitchen. Once he had settled at the table she put a bowl in front of him and poured his cereal before dialling Millicent's number;

"Not so much on your spoon buddy- small mouthfuls- Millie? Hi! Yeah I was wondering- you read my mind, you're a goddess! Ok i'll see you in ten, ok bye." She snapped her phone shut and smiled at Jayden, she sat down for a second and watched him eating.

"Momma stop it!"

"Stop what baby?"

"You're watching me eat Momma!"

"Oh-sorry sweetie," she stroked his hair, "Momma forgot." He was so like her, he hated people watching him eat- just as she did- and he had no problem in telling people that. At five years old he was already well spoken and completely comfortable with telling people what he thought. She cast a sideways glance at him and he caught her doing it, "sorry!" She jumped up, "Momma's a bad person."

"You're not bad Momma- you're superwoman." She turned and looked at him for a second, her face bright as she looked into his earnest eyes;

"Thanks baby," she dived forward and kissed the top of his head, "you're my superman too so we're a good match."

There was a rapping on the door and she ran across the kitchen and headed into the hall to open the door, "heyyy!" Millicent beamed at her and produced a caramel latte and The New York Times and then stepped into the hall.

"Where's my little dude?" She headed into the kitchen chattering away about the day ahead, putting her bag down, kicking off her shoes, "god those were killing me!" Before greeting Jayden, "hey little man- how you doin?"

"Hi Millie, i'm ok thank you, Momma said we can go to the play ground today!"

"She did? Oh well that's awesome sweetie!" She ruffled his hair and then turned back to Brooke who was opening the paper and sipping her latte at the same time.

"So Miss Davis what's the plan? You want me to bring Jayden to the office around tweleve?"

"Mmm," Brooke had burnt her tongue and ran to the sink, "owwww," she stuck her face under the tap and Millicent and Jayden watched her incredulously. She stood up slowly and grinned, "what? It was hot! Come on Jay jay go get dressed so that you can walk Momma to work with Walker."

She watched her son jump down off his chair and carry his bowl to the sink before heading to his bedroom. She turned on her heel to look at Millicent who was running through a check list.

"Have we done everything on your sacred check list?"

"Oh shut up you- you'd be lost without my check list!" Millicent was a year younger than Brooke, born and bred in New York she was tough and excellent at what she did. Brooke had hired her on instinct last year without any experience except a year of fashion school- she had dropped out because her attention span was too short, she explained easily during the first interview. Victoria had flinched at almost every statement Millicent made- which made Brooke want her even more as her PA, plus the face that Millie was willing to look after Jayden- and they had an undeniable bond- made her an invaluable asset to Clothes Over Bros- and to Brooke.

_You guys, i'm in the window._

"Jayden not too high baby!" It was several hours later and Brooke was sitting on a park bench watching Jayden climb the Jungle-jam and trying to eat a chicken sandwich at the same time. The meeting had gone well, really well. Her designs had been applauded, her ideas accepted and she had felt on top of the world. She had met Jayden in her big office and swung him round and round, "yay yay yay!" Millicent had reminded her of the flight time to Tree Hill tomorrow and Brooke had nodded hardly listening, the board has listened to her, to her! Victoria had hired a group of completely backward, non- progressive, boring old men, but she had won them over, today was a great day.

She watched her son proudly as he swung across the ropes and then dropped to the sand below. He didn't move for a second and she leapt up, fear in her throat- "Jayden!" He rolled over and then waved to her beaming and she clutched her chest, sitting back down, her legs felt like lead. Jayden had not been planned, he had pulled a one eighty on her life and she had certainly been afraid at first but now... now he was her life, her everything and she couldn't live without him. She hated seeing him hurt- if anyone _ever_ did anything to him that made him cry or if anyone ever _dared_ break his heart she would happily kill them.

"Momma! Momma did you see me?" He came running over and dived onto her knee.

"Ohhh! Yes I did! You got sand all over me sweet pea! But yeah I saw you, you were so brave! You got so high!"

"Yeah- I bet Alex that I could get higher than him and I won!"

"That's great sweetie!" Fantastic, he had his father's competitive edge.

"Alright then babe, shall we get home and get ready to go to Aunt Peyton's?"

"Yeaah!" She took Walker's lead in one hand and Jayden's hand in the other and they walked slowly through the park. They watched families sitting together, couples kissing, business men scurrying past- it was like a crazy blur rushing past them as the two made their way home. Once at home however Brooke became her own crazy blur as she raced around preparing for the trip. Oh god oh god oh god, she couldn't see him, couldn't trust herself with him. She couldn't look into Peyton's eyes. Oh god oh god.

_Look, I know it wasn't fair, how I told you... I wanted to be with you when your cab was just parked right outside... I just... saw you slipping away and... I guess I panicked._

Lucas arrived at Peyton's studio and knocked gently on the door, "Peyton? You in?"

"Yep." He pushed open the door hesitantly and she turned from her tuning board and smiled broadly, "hey Luke, what are you doing here?" She jumped up and enveloped him in a hug, he breathed in her scent, it wasn't the one he wanted to be inhaling, but it was familiar all the same.

"I just, wanted to talk." I needed to talk he added silently. Peyton swallowed, she and Lucas had been drifting apart for months now. She knew he was unhappy but she didn't know why. She called on her reserves of patience- the Lucas Scott is pushing me away reserves- and smiled at him.

"What's up?" She sat back down, trying to ignore her shaky legs, and squished herself into the leather to try and get comfortable.

"I started writing again."

"You did? Luke that's great!" His face remained stony and her own fell, "isn't it?"

"I keep writing crap Peyt, I feel like i've lost my way and I don't know what to say any more." He dropped his head into his hands and she watched him, she wished desperately she could help him through this- but he would never let her. She reached forward and stroked his hands comfortingly.

"You'll get there Luke, you can do this I promise."

"Yeah but since when did our promises mean anything?" He said angrily, jumping up and she watched him confused.

"What are you talking about?"

He was silent as he paced up and down and then he looked at her like he had only just noticed she was there and sat down again, "i'm sorry Peyton," he almost visibly shook himself and then looked up at her again, "so what's the deal tomorrow for the christening?"

"Well Brooke gets here at nine sharp, she's so not happy about the early start- Luke where are you going?" Lucas had suddenly jumped up again, he turned back to her his face a strange colour;

"Brooke's coming here? Home?"

"Yeah- I thought I told you-" she looked at him, her face was a mix of emotions he couldn't read- when did they become such strangers that they didn't know what the other was thinking any more?

"Yeah you did, I just, mustn't have registered," he tried to smile quickly, "anyway I better go, Lindsey wants a rough draft by Monday and i'm swamped," he headed to the door and then stopped and came back, kissing her forehead briefly- like it was an afterthought-and then said, "i'll see you at home," before closing the door behind him. Peyton sat motionless, she tried to blink rapidly to clear the tears but they came none the less, for a few seconds she let them fall, then reached for a tissue and shook herself. She didn't know what had changed, but something had, it was like they were on different sides of a river and she didn't know how to get across and he didn't want to get across... when had she become alone in this? Sighing and trying to pull herself together she went back to adjusting her latest artist, Mia, and let her voice fill the room.

* * *

Brooke fiddled with her hair for the fifth time as she waited for their luggage to pull round and checked Jayden was still content trying to teach Walker how to stand on two legs. She spotted their bright pink cases and dashed forward, at the last second she slipped in an unknown liquid, felt her heel snap and watched the suitcases sail past from her position on the floor.

"Crap!" She pulled her shoes off and stood up to examine the damage and wait for them to come round again. She didn't really mind the wait, it meant another three minutes with no Tree Hill. Finally, reluctantly she pulled the cases of the merry go round belt and called for Jayden.

"You ready to go buddy?" He nodded and found her hand, she looked down at his tiny hand in hers and felt a little stronger, she took a deep breath, "ok baby let's go."

Lucas stood next to Nathan and Peyton in the arrivals hall and tried to look anywhere but the swinging doors. Beside him Nathan could almost feel the nerves vibrating off his brother and drumming into his own arm, silently he reached over and patted his brother on the back. Lucas glanced at him, his blue eyes meeting Nathan's and then nodded slowly. Next to Nathan Haley was helping Peyton fuss over the welcome home banner and was oblivious to the brothers sharing a moment. Peyton had seemed in a tizz all morning and Haley was trying to soothe her friend's nerves- she and Peyton had become so close over the last four years, and she knew Peyton was upset about something- she hoped her friend would share later, but right now her silence spoke volumes. Lucas could hear his own breathing, it was shallow and rapid, his heart was beating a thousand times a minute, he felt like his head was about to explode.

On the other side of the doors Brooke's legs were getting heavier and heavier, Jayden had never been to Tree Hill before, had never known her life here, had never- never known anyone but Peyton, Haley and Nathan... and now... oh god.. She couldn't do it, she twisted against the crowd and Jayden looked up at her confused;

"Momma, what are you doing?"

"Momma forgot something baby- let's go this way."

"Hey watch it lady!" She had walked blindly into a man talking importantly on a cell phone and he sent her flying into the wall.

"Oh god- sorry-" she looked around for a fire exit, anything, but people were carrying her along, the flow of the traffic too strong, she felt like she couldn't breath. Jayden could tell his mother was upset and he didn't like it, there and then he stopped in the crowd and started crying.

Lucas shoved his hands into his pockets and then pulled them out again, he jittered about and then started tapping his foot. Peyton tried to pretend she couldn't see him silently imploding next to her and along the line up Haley looked up at her husband confused. He reached down and took her free hand and squeezed it.

The clock above them ticked over to the hour and the doors opened as passengers from the flight spilled out, voices calling hellos and oh my gods, people hugging, rushing forward, late for connections, meetings, families being reunited and then Brooke and Jayden appeared- Brooke wasn't wearing shoes, she was carrying a screaming five year old and she didn't appear to have any luggage, her hair had tumbled out of it's loose knot when she'd bent down to pick Jayden up and her own face looked pale and stricken. For a second she didn't move- her dark eyes were glancing around wildly, desperately, and then they met Lucas'. The crowds seemed to slow between them before stopping completely, she stood looking at him, trying not to cry as his own tortured blue eyes stared back.

_I'm the guy for you. I know we're just part time and that's cool, do whatever, have your fun. But one of these nights you're going to realise it... I'm the guy for you Brooke Davis. You'll see._


	3. Now She Is Here

**A/N: Yay, thanks for the reviews guys I was so nervous no-one would like it! Also just to make clear, yes Peyton and Lucas are a couple but the whole baby thing is to be revealed in some flashbacks- but don't worry, Peyton and Brooke aren't that messed up.**

**Disclaimer: I forgot to disclaim last chapter, but unfortunately it's not because I now own things- I still own nothing.**

Lucas stood motionless- he couldn't breathe. All he could do was take her in, take in the curves of her face, the figure he had never forgotten- her hair was longer and the child on her arm was older- the child that had changed everything... Brooke tried to move but found her legs had turned to stone. She knew she was staring but she couldn't help it. She could feel her emotions building up on her but she couldn't decide which one to let through- panic, hope, love, anger. Whilst she was feeling torn Peyton darted forward, "Brooke! Hey! Jayden hi, do you remember me?" Jayden stopped crying for a second and looked at her hesitantly;

"Are you my Aunty Peyton?"

"Yeah honey, how you doing?"

"Your hair was shorter last time I saw you!" He stated and reached out and touched the nearest long blonde curl, Peyton laughed.

"Yeah it was! I haven't seen you for a while," she glanced down, "Brooke- where are your shoes? And your luggage?"

Brooke dragged her eyes away from Lucas and looked at her friend dumbly, "wh-what?"

"You're not wearing any shoes hon."

"Oh yeahhh- I broke a heel and then.. my suitcase is back there- Jayden was crying and I was lost and-"

Without saying a word Lucas strode past, trying not to look at her and disappeared through the swinging doors as Haley and Nathan came over waving the banner and beaming.

"Brooke!"

"Davis how are you?"

"Hi guys," she said shakily, as Haley hugged her she felt some warmth seeping back into her bones and smiled up at Nathan feeling slightly more confident. Lucas reappeared pulling her suitcases and she swallowed hard, not meeting his eye;

"Thanks," her raspy voice shook with emotion and he couldn't look at her.

"No problem, welcome home." She inclined her head to show that she knew he had spoken and then turned to Peyton who was looking at her concerned.

"You look really tired sweetie, you want something to eat?"

"That'd be great thanks, I don't think Jayden ate anything on the plane." She touched her son's hair and Lucas clenched his jaw.

"Hey Luke have you met Jayden before?" Peyton swang round and clutched Lucas' arm briefly, it was a light touch, there was nothing to it but Brooke felt her heart lurch. This was going to be harder than she had ever imagined, watching her best friend, happy in love- completely oblivious to Brooke's own feelings. Lucas' soft voice broke her thoughts;

"Err- no, not since he was about 3 months old," he dropped down in front of Jayden who was clutching his mother's legs, Lucas tried not to look at them and instead reached out his hand to the little guy, "i'm Lucas."

Jayden looked at him suspiciously, his dark blue eyes were serious, finally he produced a hand and shook Lucas' own hand, "Jayden Sawyer Davis," he said officially.

"Hey," Lucas straightened up and awkwardly put an arm around Peyton's waist, "we better get going- can't stand in an airport all day right?"

Brooke tried not to flinch as she watched the two of them walking ahead and instead busied herself with the suitcases. Jayden pulled on her skirt and she looked down at him;

"What is it baby?"

"Do you like that man?"

"Which one sweetie," she said playing for time.

"The one that looks at you a lot- Lucas." She bent down in front of him, pretending to smooth his tee shirt.

"He wasn't looking at me Jay, he's with Aunty Peyton and-" she swallowed, "he and Momma are- are old friends."

"But you don't look at him-"

"I do baby, I mean- look it's complicated sweetie," she touched his face, "but I love you ok?"

"Ok," he smiled and reached his arms up to hug her, she tried not to cry.

"Brooke?" Nathan turned from walking with his wife and came back over and crouched down next to her, "you ok?" He muttered softly, trying to look like he was helping Jayden with his shirt.

"Of course," she said brightly, "i'm fine. Why- why wouldn't I be? I'm home!"

"Brooke- i've known you a long time and you are not a liar- you just can't do it, your hands get all twitchy and you just _look_ guilty- you're too bluntly honest." She gave him a half smiled and shook her head;

"I'm scared," she whispered, he clutched her hand briefly.

"You're gonna be ok Brooke, we got your back, everyone here loves you." He straightened up and slipped off his shoes, "here- you can wear these if you like."

Brooke looked down at his size twelve and a halves and then up into his well meaning blue eyes; "thanks Nate, but I think they're a bit big and what will you wear?"

"Go on- I have spare sneakers in the car." He turned and picked Jayden up, "come on little man, Jamie's waiting for you at home- he's really excited to see you again."

He swung Jayden up onto his shoulders and took Brooke's hand, "sorry Hales- Jayden's shoe laces needed tying- we're all set now." Brooke looked up at her friend affectionately, she could do this if she had her friends.

Lucas turned at the exit and saw Brooke walking towards him in his brothers shoes- he couldn't help but chuckle under his breath. His heart was still racing from meeting her eyes and he tried not to feel jealous about the fact that his brother was holding her hand. He shook himself, she had moved on, he knew she wouldn't have spent the last five years pining after him the way he had pined-

"Luke?" Peyton was looking at him quizzically, "are you coming?"

"Oh yeah," he smiled at her, "sorry babe."

Brooke watched her best friend smile up at Lucas as he called her babe and tried not to visibly flinch. They headed out into the sun and Brooke relievedly slipped her sunglasses on- hiding her eyes _and _where they wandered.

_So you like me!_

"You wanna sit up with me Davis? See your old town up close?" Nathan was steering her towards the front seat and she smiled at him.

"Here Jayden honey let's get you strapped in," she turned to open the passenger door and bashed it accidently into Lucas' side;

"Ooof," he doubled over and she stared at him in horror;

"Oh my god Luke i'm so sorry-" he held up a hand and she fell silent. She stood looking at him awkwardly and then looked up horrified at Nathan,

"Oh my god," she mouthed, he snorted and tried not to look like he was laughing. As far as he was concerned his brother was messing both his girls around and he deserved to be smashed in with as many car doors as it took to knock some sense into him. He put a protective hand on Peyton's back and helped her into the car, sniggered at his brother again and then gently manoeuvred Brooke round to the front seat muttering, "i'll get Jayden." He lifted Jayden out of Brooke's arms and strapped him in, patted his brother on the back and then jumped into the car.

"Ship's setting sail Luke, get on board," and then beeped the horn for good measure.

"Ughh," Lucas pulled himself in, "you don't have to enjoy every moment of my pain so much Nate."

"I'll try," he chuckled and turned the ignition, he met his wife's eye in the mirror and she raised her eyebrows, he chuckled again and Lucas punched his headrest, "hey man i'm sorry, i'll stop."

Peyton looked at Haley confused and her friend reached across and squeezed her hand. It was so difficult getting Lucas and Nathan to act like they were even friends these days. She knew that something had changed the day Brooke left for New York but she had been hoping five years on things would be better. The day Brooke announced she was moving Nathan had gone out of the house early and not returned for a long time, when he had come home he was sporting a black eye, but he wouldn't say who he had got it from. Brooke had been to say good bye to Haley, clinging to her friend and saying she was sorry she wouldn't be around to see Jamie's first years- a confused Haley had hugged her back and promised she would be here when Brooke came home, 'look after Peyton for me ok?' Brooke had asked softly, before picking up her bag and winking at her friend, 'bye tutormom.'

Haley stared at the back of Brooke's head now and tried to figure out what was up with all her friends. What had happened to the happy go lucky lot she had known had seventeen? She knew they were different-older, maybe slightly wiser. When Jayden had been born Haley had been pregnant and she had admired Brooke so much for her strength and her choice to do it alone, but now she just wished Brooke would ask for help- say she wanted to let her friends in. She leant forward now, "can we pick Jamie up from Skillz and Bevin's before we have lunch please?"

"That's where I was headed Hales," she reached forward and squeezed his shoulder, he took her hand and kissed it and then made a right.

* * *

Brooke watched her old town fly past, her hair flying in the wind she beamed and leant right out of the window laughing before leaning back in and resting her elbow on the window frame, god it looked exactly the same. She glanced in the wing mirror and froze- Lucas' blue eyes were looking straight back at her. She blinked and tried to look away but somehow he held her gaze. She waited for him to look away, to glare at her, but he stared back, blinking occasionally, his eyes almost smiled, her heart was racing. His eyes were full of sadness, but she recognised something else in them, something she didn't want to see but knew was reflected in her own brown eyes, it looked something dangerously like love. She cleared her throat and put the window up, dammit she couldn't be looking at him like that.

They pulled in at Bevin and Skillz's beach house and Haley jumped out and then leant back in the window, "i'll be two minutes guys."

"Sure Hales, take your time," Peyton leant her head against the window and wondered why she felt so uncomfortable. Everyone was so quiet.

Brooke opened her own door, "actually, you mind if I take a quick walk- stretch my legs?"

"Sure, we can watch Jayden," Nathan twisted round, "hey Jayden you like basketball?" Brooke rolled her eyes;

"Please try not to convert my son, he's a baseball fan and I like it that way, absolutely no angst." She could have bitten her own tongue, that was so not the thing to have said. All the members of the car were looking at her like she was slightly strange.

"Actually, you mind if I come?" Peyton jumped out of the car, "we can catch up."

She and Brooke headed towards the beach, Brooke didn't know what to say first. She looked out onto the sea, it was a beautiful green, blue, rough and wild, she felt like she wanted to dive in and swim a mile, sinking into the waves, immersing herself-

_So, when are we gonna get to that kiss part anyway?_

"So B Davis," Peyton broke her day dream, "are you ok? I mean, are we ok?"

Brooke turned and looked at her, "what are you talking about sweetie?"

"I just feel like something is different between us- like, ok, like- you know, are you ok?"

"Honey you have used the word ok too many to count in that sentence."

"I'm sorry, I guess i'm nervous." She tried to laugh but her green eyes were heavy. Brooke sat down on the sand and sighed, running her hand across the grains- Peyton sat down beside her and waited.

"There is nothing wrong with us P Sawyer, you're my best friend, and I can't believe you're nervous-_ I _was so nervous about coming home."

"But why?"

"It's just, you have your life together here and- I don't. I'm a mess and I feel like every decision I make for Jayden's future might be wrong-" she stopped, she didn't want to say anything too unusual. She knew she was lying but she couldn't help it- she had spent five years pretending she was ok with Peyton and Lucas, five years pretending she was happy with her life, that her son was-

"Brooke, I think you're amazing," Peyton reached for her friends hand and Brooke felt close to tears, "I think the way you are with Jayden is fantastic- I can't believe you were ever worried about having him. And, the way you run Clothes Over Bros- you're a great leader and you know you're mind, god I can't believe you were nervous."

"I know I know, it seems stupid, I was just scared you and me would be weird you know? It's been a while since we- you know- hung out."

"I know, I missed you B Davis." She looked down at their hands and then smiled shakily, when she looked up her eyes were full of tears, "things are so bad here Brooke." Brooke looked at her suddenly concerned and pulled her into a hug, Peyton leant against her friend's shoulder and clung onto her tightly.

"I'm sorry I haven't been here Peyton."

Peyton sniffed, "that's ok, you've got your life, Jayden, I just, wish you were here to talk to more."

"I'm sorry sweetie, but i'm here now.."

"I know, and i'm so glad," she sat up and wiped her eyes, "sorry, none of this is your fault Brooke," oh honey you have no idea Brooke thought guiltily as she stroked her friends back. She knew she and Lucas had unspoken issues, knew that somewhere deep in the back of her mind she and Lucas had unfinished business but she didn't want it. Lucas had hurt her so badly, betrayed her so badly and after all that she had had had to look Peyton in the eye and say she was ok with the two of them dating. That no she could do the pregnancy alone. Yes it was Keller's baby...

"Look Peyton, you have a great life here too- a kick ass record label that I know for a fact is one of the hottest labels on the coast and good friends and- and" she faltered, "and you have Lucas."

Peyton sat up sharply and Brooke closed her eyes briefly, oh god, she'd guessed. Peyton was shaking her head, she leant forward and clutched her knees, and said almost to herself.

"I don't have Lucas." In one sentence Brooke's heart broke for her friend and a tiny bit soared for herself. Then she shook herself, she could _not _do this to Peyton, or to herself. Lucas had been the worst of the worst, a cheater, a liar and... she had to talk him up to her best friend, she couldn't do it, she couldn't look Peyton in the eye and tell her that Lucas was right for her.

"Peyton, you do have Lucas- he will listen if you talk to him, all you can do is try honey."

"It's not a case of talking to him- we can talk about things till one in the morning," Brooke tried not to feel jealous, "but it's not the talking thing," Peyton was digging holes in the sand, "we haven't- he doesn't- I mean I don't-" she cleared her throat, "he won't touch me- and I can't touch him either. I don't understand when it happened but- something has changed- he can't look me in the eye any more. I feel so- _ugly_."

"Oh Peyton no- you are _not _ugly, you are beautiful- on the inside and out, and if he doesn't see that then- then he's an idiot...he always was," she added softly. Peyton snorted and then started laughing, Brooke looked at her best friend laughing and suddenly, she found it funny too. They sat on the beach, laughing hysterically clutching each other, half laughing half crying.

"Oh god, I feel better now- i'm so glad you're home," Peyton leant against her friend once more.

"Oh me too P Sawyer- and I know that the problems with Luke will pass- you just gotta hold on."

"Problems?" They both turned round shocked, Lucas was staring at them his face black with rage, "so now you're just telling the whole world we're going through a rough patch?"

"Luke-" Peyton stood up but he stepped back holding up his hands, shaking his head.

"I can't believe this-" he looked straight at Brooke and his eyes cut through her like ice, "you're home less than a day and already you're screwing with my life?" He began storming away and then turned, "Haley's ready- we've been waiting ten minutes."

**Sooo, kind of brucas reunion- kind of brucas angst but you know that eventually it leads to the good stuff! Flashback up next. If you like it, do please review! **


	4. This Beach Might Wash Away But

**A/N: Thank you sooo much for the reviews guys, i'm glad everyone's still liking it. Sorry it took so long to update- family stuff's been crazy here. Just to clarify, flashbacks are in italics (as asked for- sorry that was confusing!) And older flashback's like a flashback within a flashback are in bold as well as italics! Hope that's not too confusing! Anyway I hope you guys enjoy- please excuse the grammar i'm afraid this has been written at four in the morning cos I was so aware I haven't written for a while so i'm sorry if it gets twisted or anything! Please review if you enjoy- or if you don't get it and I need to give better explanations!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from One Tree Hill.**

Lucas stormed across the beach and kicked at the nearest sand dune. He couldn't believe Peyton had been talking to Brooke, telling her things he didn't want anybody, let alone _Brooke_, anything about their life. He didn't want her to ever know that life without her was crap, that since she had left him alone, broken his heart, walked all over his damn heart- life had not been the same. Angrily he kicked at a twig- he could hear Peyton's voice shouting for him as she tried to catch up.

"Luke! Lucas stop!"

He closed his eyes- it was almost like he could hear another voice, on another day, another time...

"Lucas!"

"_Lucas stop! Luke i'm gonna be sick!"_

"_Oh come on- you look so pretty all swirly."_

"_Lucas Scott!"_

"_Hehe ok ok, sorry," Lucas lowered his girlfriend and kissed her softly, "you feel better?"_

"_Much better thank you," Brooke twinkled up at him and he smiled lovingly down at her. He had been spinning her round on the beach, although it was not a warm day you could tell it was spring- almost sunny, but no clouds. A perfect day for a walk on the beach. Haley and Nathan's wedding was the next day and Brooke had been hard at work preparing for their rehearsal dinner that evening. He had missed her so much recently, they seemed to keep missing each other so he'd suggested they went for a walk to catch up. Brooke had seemed a little distracted lately and he wanted her to tell him what was up. He closed his eyes and breathed in the sea air, it felt so good to be here. It was times like these he missed Keith the most, when he was feeling content and happy- it felt like there was still a part of him missing. He tried to squash the feeling that maybe a part of him was still with Peyton, god he was so messed up, why couldn't he just be happy with what he had? But he had felt like since the shooting and Peyton's confession maybe he was supposed to be with Peyton... he had rescued Peyton- did that mean he loved Peyton? He knew he loved Brooke but maybe he was in the wrong relationship?_

"_So boy friend, do you know all your lines for tonight?" Brooke turned to walk beside him and slipped her soft hand into his._

"_Of course!" She looked at him disbelievingly- her brown eyes amused, "babe I came home a day early to help you out tonight, do you really think i'd have arrived unprepared?"_

"_Well that's true- you are always organised within an inch of your life." _

"_Hey I only do it for you," he said teasingly._

"_Ohh," she kinked an eyebrow, "and I appreciate it." Lucas smiled down at her and watched as her eyes travelled out over the sea and grew thoughtful. She looked so beautiful, he was an idiot for thinking about being with anybody else- she was right for him, so right-_

"_So Luke," she turned to look at him, her face serious, "I have to tell you something."_

"_Is everything ok?" He sat down on the sand and pulled her towards him, she knelt down next to him and put her hands on his shoulders._

"_Every thing's fine, I mean, I hope it is," she pushed a strand of hair out of her face and swallowed. Just as she opened her mouth his phone started ringing._

"_Oh sorry babe," he reached into his pocket, Brooke felt like she knew who it was going to be before he looked at it- "it's Peyton," he snapped it open, "hey Peyton what's up?"_

_Brooke tried not to sigh and dug her fingers into the sand, she knew her best friend was developing feelings for Lucas again, whether they were old ones that were re-emerging or new ones that had come forward from everything she and Lucas had been through together- Brooke felt like she couldn't fight it either way._

"_Yeah i'll check it out later- no it's fine I can check on it before we hit the rehearsal- absolutely ok, yeah i'll see you later Peyt."_

_Brooke stood up as he was closing the phone and he looked at her confused, "where you off to pretty girl?"_

"_I just remembered something I need to do before tonight- but I really need to talk to you," she pushed her hair back again and bent down to kiss him, "are you free after the rehearsal?"_

"_Sure." He watched her run across the beach, her ruffled skirt blowing round showing off her undeniably good legs and her hair blew round her face like a dark halo as she twisted to wave at him smiling._

Lucas arrived at the car and jerked open the door just as Peyton caught up with him;

"Lucas! You couldn't stop and talk for two minutes?!" She asked incredulously, stopping him closing the door.

"Apparently you're doing enough talking for the both of us," he said angrily, climbing into the car and slamming the door shut. She stood looking at him through the window incredulously and then walked round the other side to get in the car herself.

"You know, it wouldn't hurt you to communicate to me sometimes Lucas, once upon a time you used to able to do that."

Both Haley and Nathan were staring at the pair of them open mouthed- normally Peyton was so patient with Lucas. Jamie paused from playing dinosaur snap with Jayden and clambered into Peyton's lap- staring at Lucas solemnly- he hated any one upsetting his Peyton.

Brooke had watched them sadly- Lucas storming off up the beach and Peyton running behind him- it felt like only yesterday she was the one running after Lucas and her heart ached for her friend. As she listened to them argue she couldn't help but think they sounded like they were drowning. Listening to Peyton trying to get Lucas to talk to her- to listen to her, it was like watching a version of her own life.

_Brooke dropped her bag in Peyton's hall and leaned over the bannister, "P Sawyer you up there?"_

"_Yeah," came a cracked voice over some terrible sounding music, Brooke winced, it didn't sound fun up there. She clattered up the stairs, messing with her hair- she couldn't get comfortable today, she felt hot one second and cold the next._

"_Hey happy girl," she pushed open the door, Peyton's eyes were bloodshot and she looked terrible, "wow you look how I feel honey, what's going on?"_

"_Oh," she rubbed her eyes, "Jake sent me home."_

"_Oh Peyton sweetie, i'm sorry." She had a strong suspicion that Jake knew what she knew. If only Peyton would face it- that thought half terrified and half made her feel scarily free._

"_It's ok, how are you feeling today?"_

_Brooke pulled a face, "I tried to tell Lucas but-"_

_Peyton's eyes widened, "oh god no! Did I call at the wrong time completely?"_

"_Ohh no," Brooke reached across from her own bed and squeezed Peyton's hand, "no don't worry- I was completely tongue tied- I didn't know what to say- where to start."_

"_Maybe lead with- i'm pregnant?"_

"_Ha no- I tried that one once before and he freaked out- I need to ease him in."_

"_Brooke! He's gonna start noticing things soon honey, I mean- it's been how long?"_

_Brooke stared at the duvet, playing with a loose thread, "three months, two weeks and I dunno- six days?"_

_Peyton smiled, "very precise."_

"_Yeah well," she couldn't say it but she needed the precision, she needed to know exactly when- exactly who. God she was so stupid, she had been so reckless. She dropped onto her bed and closed her eyes. She remembered when she'd first told Peyton, her friend had been so good, so supportive. _

_Brooke had come in to their shared bedroom almost exactly the same way she had done just now, dropping her bag by the stairs and collapsing on her bed. Peyton had watched her concerned, waiting for her to talk._

"_**Spill it best friend."**_

"_**Ok, so don't react like I think you're gonna react but I have something to tell you and you know when I tell you this you can't react like I think you're gonna react-"**_

"_**Brooke, take a breath, I can't react any way at all until you tell me what it is that you need to tell me, so you tell me and i'll react in the way I think is best."**_

"_**Ok, I am getting too confused for this."**_

"_**Brooke! Stop changing the subject!"**_

"_**Ok ok!" Brooke sighed and leant forward, burying her head in the nearest pillow, "i'm pregnant," she muttered into it. **_

_**Peyton inhaled sharply and then leant forward and rested her head on Brooke's back, stroking her** **friend's hair, hugging her hard, "oh B Davis, do I say congratulations or i'm so sorry?"**_

_**Brooke snorted and felt a tiny bit better, she twisted her face so that she could breathe again and smiled weakly, "something in between maybe?"**_

"_**I can do that- and just so you know," Peyton sat up, "i'm totally here for you- we can totally do this."**_

"_**Thank you for saying we," Brooke said softly, her voice shaky.**_

"_**No problem-" she smiled weakly and looked at the same bit of duvet Brooke was staring at, "have you told Lucas?" Brooke met her eyes reluctantly and Peyton swallowed, "is it his?"**_

"_**I don't know," Brooke lay back on the bed and tried not to think about what Lucas would say if it turned out to be Keller's.**_

_She turned on her side now, she had worked it out weeks ago. In the back of her mind she had always known,it was just a case of sucking it up and telling Lucas- she was terrified he wouldn't support her. The rehearsal- she would tell him at the rehearsal- no-one could be mad at a wedding right?_

But he had been too busy, he had spent the evening filling Peyton's glass, teasing Haley, shaking hands with people he didn't even know. And she had watched him- her golden boy, she would never love anyone the way she loved him. She just wished she felt his love the same way- as fiercely as she loved him. But she didn't. It was like there was a wall between them- filled with things he couldn't say. And now she had to tell him. And she had told him. She hadn't died, hadn't lost herself, instead she had come out of the conversation a different person. She had gone out to make her toast to Nathan and Haley, danced laughingly with her Peyton, with Mouth, Nathan, Cooper. She had been ok- survived against all odds. She had raced to the hospital after hearing about the accident and seen Lucas and Peyton, the beginning of something she had known deep down was coming... She had spent the next months in complete denial- Lucas had changed her in that room, hardened her. Suddenly his love for her hadn't seemed so concrete, so sure and she had panicked, lied. Everything that happened in that room full of make up and flowers and presents had made her the person she was now. Someone who would fight to the death for her son, but ultimately afraid that the one man she loved most would never fight as hard for her.

"_I am not pushing you away Lucas, I am holding on for dear life!"_

"_Brooke, i'm sorry." She was crying now, trying to compose herself but she couldn't get it under control._

"_You're always sorry Luke, why can't you ever get it right?" She shook herself, she couldn't think about this new revelation right now, she needed to tell him-_

"_Brooke I mean it, I love you, I need you to know that."_

"_I have to tell you something-"_

"_Brooke please, didn't you hear me? It meant nothing."_

"_I get it Luke, she thought she was dying, you kissed her." That was the only part Brooke could understand- hell anyone deserved a last kiss- Peyton had confessed it right after the shooting and Brooke had accepted it. But Lucas had remained silent. That was what drove her crazy._

"_Yeah but it meant nothing."_

"_That doesn't matter Lucas, I have to tell you something bigger than that-" she was getting impatient now. Didn't he get it? If he couldn't tell her something this small then how could they handle this?_

"_I thought she was dying- she thought she was dying- I didn't know what else to do."_

"_It's not that Lucas- it's why didn't you tell me before? Why don't you trust me enough to let me in? Why do you let everyone but me in?"_

"_That's not how it is."  
_

"_It is! You know it's true. Even when you were trying it was like you were reluctant to tell me things."_

"_Brooke I can't help it, sometimes Peyton gets me and-"_

"_And what? I'm not good enough?"_

"_No it's not that- I love you Brooke really I do but-" Lucas felt like Peyton was the easier choice here, the one he wouldn't fight with every day, the one he could talk to. He was scared that letting Brooke in meant that he would lose her. But now it felt like he was losing her anyway, he couldn't win._

"_But?" She waited, she knew what was coming now, "do you have feelings for her Luke?" He didn't meet her eye, "Lucas?"_

"_I don't know Brooke," his voice was quiet, she stared at him as though she was seeing him in a new light, "sometimes I think maybe it would make sense if I was with her." She jerked backwards, away from him. She felt like he'd physically harmed her. Sense? When did love have anything to do with sense?_

"_Great. So on the day I need to tell you something so important, so life changing, you turn around and tell me about a kiss I couldn't care less about but then reveal that actually it did mean something? You lied to me and you shut me out and I have tried for months to get you to talk to me but you couldn't even do me the decency of telling me that when you rescued my **best** friend you kissed her and you felt something and GOD!" She slapped his face and he winced as he wheeled away- he had never seen her like this."How could you Luke? I really needed you today, I needed to tell my boy friend something that is terrifying me and I couldn't, i've always needed you and you've never needed me and today-" her voice fell away and she dropped her hands, tears flowing openly._

"_I'm sorry Brooke." She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, this wasn't happening. She had to be strong. If he wanted to be with Peyton fine, but she wasn't going to be a charity case._

"_I'm pregnant."_

_His face fell from apologetic to incredulous, "what?"_

"_I've been trying to tell you all day I just couldn't get you alone- I guess you were busy getting cosy with other women."_

"_Brooke hold on-"_

"_I mean- life's a bitch right? You try and break up with me and it turns out i'm pregnant. Well don't worry about it because it's not yours." _

_She regretted it the moment she said it. But he had hurt her so badly. It was one thing Peyton having feelings but not doing anything about it but it was another thing completely if Lucas was even considering the possibility that he reciprocated. His face turned thunderous._

"_You cheated on me?"_

"_It's not like you can complain if I did, but no actually- it's Keller's."_

"_And- I- you- how long have you-"_

"_A while."_

"_A while? Brooke you knew all this time and you didn't tell me?"_

"_Oh and you would have done things differently Luke? You can't make somebody love you Lucas, even getting knocked up can't change that." She took a deep breath, "we have to go give our toasts, you know the ones about love? Turns out you could give one or two of those right? One for your first love, you know the one you'd love forever? And then one for your second love- oh again the one you could love forever, although I don't know what the hell order you'd put them in!" He watched her go, a mixture of anger, regret and heart break swirling round in both their hearts._

"Brooke?" Haley's voice broke through the memories of the past and Brooke smiled apologetically, she tried to pretend like she was ok.

"Yeah sorry Hales, i'm just coming."

"Great, do you know why the broody twins are arguing again?" Haley asked quietly as she slipped an arm into Brooke's and they both headed back towards the car.

"No, I can't believe how bad it's got- what have I missed?" Haley wanted to tell her friend that Brooke had missed the demise of what she had believed to be the one true epic relationship to rival her own with Nathan. She had been so wrong. She wanted to tell Brooke that no-one seemed to get through to Lucas like she did, that no-one could take the place Haley once thought only Peyton held in Lucas' heart, Brooke's place. Instead she sighed and pushed a hand through her dark locks;

"Things have been a bit different around here without you girly."

_Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds._

**Argh, so tel me what you think! Too complicated? I really wanted to make sure that it was clear that Lucas was conflicted, Brooke knew about the kiss before because Peyton and she are much closer in my fic than on the show in S3 and that Brooke handled the kiss thing differently. Was it ok?**


	5. Dirty Bathrooms and Stolen Kisses

**A/N: Hey guys, thanks sooo much for the reviews, i'm really glad people are enjoying the brucas angst! As ever, reviews are appreciated if you have a little time!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

On the way to Karen's the car was deathly quiet. Even Jayden and Jamie seemed to pick up on the angry adults and were sitting playing on Jayden's play station silently in the back. Peyton had her ipod in, eyes closed and blocking out the world, Foo Fighters blasting and Brooke could hear the tinny music from up front. Lucas sat staring out the window at the cars flying by. A blue beetle sailed past and he swallowed hard. Brooke had seen it as well and felt a wave of nostalgia for the days when things had been simple. She had loved Lucas, he had loved her. Peyton had been happy. When did everything get so screwed up? She tried to ignore the obvious answer in her head.

Nathan parked carefully outside Karen's and Lucas jumped out of the car and slammed the door, disappearing inside without looking back. Brooke sighed and undid her seatbelt before turning to check on Jayden. Nathan helped Haley out and she opened the boot.

"Alright boys leave the play station behind please and go inside to wash your hands."

Jamie pouted, "can't I take it inside Momma?"

"No baby, leave it where it is, it's very anti-social!"

Brooke sniggered, "he's four Hales- how's he gonna know that?"

"Hey there is no time like the present to teach good manners!"

Brooke lifted Jayden out the car and he waited for her on the pavement jumping on and off the kerb as she leant back into the car and squeezed Peyton's hand. "You ok P Sawyer?"

"Yeah i'm fine," Peyton smiled quickly but her eyes told another story. Brooke looked at her doubtfully, her brown eyes warm and concerned, "seriously B Davis- i'll be in in a mo."

Nathan clambered into the boot and leant across the back chair, "go on Davis, we'll follow in two secs ok?" He smiled at her and his eyes motioned to Peyton- Brooke understood, he would talk to her. She felt, to her annoyance, a slither of envy. Why did Nathan think he could talk to her best friend and she couldn't? She tried to pretend she couldn't hear the answer to _that_ in her head too.

"Alright little man, you ready to go in?" She took Jayden's tiny hand and shook herself, she hadn't come back here to get in the middle of Lucas Scott drama again- she was here for her friends and then she would go back to her life in New York- Jayden was more than enough love for her.

She opened the door to the cafe and a joyous voice called out her name, "Brooke!"

"Karen! Oh god hi!" She felt the lovely older lady sweep her into a big hug, "oh it's been so long!"

"Oh I know, how are you sweetie?" Karen pulled away and touched her face, her eyes searched Brooke's and she suddenly felt like she was in safe hands. Karen glanced down, "oh my god and who is this grown up looking fellow?"

Jayden looked at her shyly, hiding behind Brooke's legs, "hello." Karen crouched down and held out her hand;

"Well hello there mister- what's your name?"

"My name is Jayden Sawyer Davis."

"It is? My goodness you have grown so much since I last saw you!"

"Who are you?"

"I'm-" Karen paused and looked up at Brooke, their eyes met, Karen's full of understanding and she smiled softly, "i'm a friend of your mom's- from a long time ago."

"Did you know her when she was little?" He looked at her fascinated and Karen chuckled and picked him up.

"You know what, I kinda did- your mom even lived with me for a little bit when she was growing up."

"She did?" Jayden voice was filled with excitement, he had so many questions he wanted to ask about his beautiful mother.

"Yeah she did! She used to live in my son's room." Brooke tried to appear as though she was looking forward to the prospect of listening to stories about the Brooke from five or six years ago. She really didn't want to hear about that Brooke right now, but her son's happiness at hearing them was more important- she began to move towards the bathroom.

_Well, now that we are all here together, we need to set some more ground rules. I know that the two of you had a history._

"Was she naughty?"

Karen's eyes met Brooke's again- this time they were amused, "you know, sometimes, she was."

"Hey!" Brooke said pointing as Karen carried him towards the table, "no made up stories there Miss Roe!"

"It's Mrs Hargrove soon!"

Brooke stopped in surprise by the counter, "really?"

"Yeah honey- you should stick around for the wedding if you're still here."

"When is it?"

"Next month."

Brooke paused, she would so love to see the woman she looked up to, her inspiration, walk down the aisle and finally have her happiness sealed, "maybe," she said softly, dimpling as she smiled. Karen watched her go sadly, she knew a bit about missing out on love and she could see it in Brooke's eyes. Brooke was lonely. Even her son hadn't filled one void in her life as she'd been raising him- Karen could relate, she had felt that same void. Her own son had created quite a mess for himself.

Lucas sat underneath his mom's cooking table, right now covered with desserts for the afternoon, eating strawberry cheesecake and pretending that the life he was living was a million miles away. Why had he yelled at Brooke like that?! God he was so stupid, he had had a whole plan on how cool to act when he saw her but when she had appeared in that airport looking so distressed, so lost, he had wanted to dive in and save her, take her away from everything. His feelings had come rushing back, almost swallowing him. He hadn't been able to move and in the end all he'd been able to do was carry her bags?! Like some dumb ass idiot. And then again on the beach- he'd been so horrified that Brooke and Peyton were sitting together- suddenly it was like his two separate lives were crashing together. There was the life he had with Peyton; everything was kept on the surface, they talked music, books, Nathan and Haley, Jamie- never about Brooke, things that were easy. And then there was the secret life he kept to himself- the one where he and Brooke were still together- flashes of the time they'd spent together. God why had he reacted so badly?! He banged his head against the table leg, he was an idiot. He'd gone and blown it, there was no chance she'd speak to him now, ever. And Peyton- god what was he going to do about Peyton Sawyer?

Brooke shook out her hair in front of the mirror and then stuck her face under the water for a few seconds. "Get a grip," she said angrily to herself. She rested her hands on the sink and leant her head against the mirror. It was so hard, Lucas had looked so beautiful in the airport- her golden boy finally in front of her. His crystal blue eyes so clear as they met hers...The spitting image of his- her hand slipped off the sink and she banged her chin on it hard, "owww, owwww, holy crap." She leant up and stared in despair- her lip was bleeding. She resisted the urge to let the threatening tears spill over and grabbed a towel, rubbing hard. "Ohh god, what am I doing here?!" She threw the towel on the floor and kicked the wall and then felt a shooting pain in her toes and immediately felt guilty about kicking Karen's wall.

"Well at least we know karma works fast in Tree Hill," she muttered nursing her foot. She limped over to the door and the hopped around it, and stopped short as she glanced up. Lucas was leaning against the wall his face a mixture of anger and amusement.

_Hey Cinderella._

"H-hi."

"You talking to yourself in there?"

"Maybe..."

He fought the urge to smile at her, god it was so hard to stay mad, she looked so pretty. Although she had somehow managed to bust her lip since leaving the car and she was standing on one leg. His concern for her split lip beat out the crossness and he inclined his head.

"Are you beating up my mom's bathroom?"

"I wasn't doing anything, your sink attacked me!"

She looked down at the floor, he caught her smile however and she cursed as her lip stretched. He wanted to reach over and put a hand on her mouth, make it better, just to touch her face...

She took a breath, "Luke-" He retracted his invisible hand and scowled, "about what happened on the beach-"

"I don't wanna talk about it," he said suddenly, shoving his hands into his pockets. She looked up, her brown eyes full of the things she wanted to say, he couldn't look at her. Suddenly she felt brave.

"_I _want to talk about it Lucas."

"What if I don't?"

"You know," she almost smiled, "I spent years trying to make sure I didn't say the wrong thing with you, trying to withold feelings or anything that might upset you really. But things are different now Lucas. I get to talk now, i'm not afraid of upsetting you- and you- you get to listen to me."

He cracked the bones in his neck and sighed, "what? What do you want from me Brooke?"

"I want you to undersand."

"I do, I get it. You left me, I moved on. Case closed."

"Don't take that tone with me Lucas- I haven't done anything wrong here."

"Oh no, you're totally innocent as always," he said half under his breath.

"Oh and you're not a guilty party?! Lucas you told me you had feelings for somebody else! You broke my heart!" She couldn't emphasise enough how much he had hurt her, his eyes met ehrs- full of sorrow and regret.

"I never meant to Brooke- I mead a mistake. But you- you slept with someone else- why are you never willing to admit when you're in the wrong?!"

Suddenly she took a step forward, her eyes flaming full of anger, "no Luke, I know when i'm wrong, I admit it- I admit defeat, I accept things. Why the hell can't you?"

"Accept things Brooke?" He gripped her arms tightly pulling her even closer, she could feel her arms bruising, his face inches from hers, "how easily would you accept the fact that five years ago you broke my heart- you lied to me, slept with someone else and left me in the dirt to go and pursue your dreams in New York?"

"Left you in the dirt Luke? You're referring to a life with my best friend as dirt? How dare you?!" She pulled away from him feeling disgust well up in her throat, "you left me for her and you _chose _that life- don't you dare blame me for a life you _told_ me you wanted!" She began moving through the kitchen away from him, she had to get as far away as possible. She stepped in a bowl of strawberry cheesecake and looked down in horror.

"What the hell?!"

"Brooke wait-" he caught up with her.

"Look at my shoe Lucas! Dammit look what you've done!"

"What i've done? What are you talking about?! I didn't push you in the damn cheesecake!"

"No but you made me walk- I mean- fine you didn't! But still this is your fault!"

"My fault?! You left me Brooke what do you expect?!"

"Grow up Lucas- life sucks but you get over it." She pulled her shoe off and began to turn away but he caught her arm;

"Brooke wait," her eyes moved up his face to meet his, they were filled with fear but he could see something else, he knew what it was- god he read her like nobody else could;

"Lucas-"

"I get that life might suck but- but, what if I don't want life to suck? What if I want to- what if our lives could be better?"

"_Our_ lives Luke? We have separate lives!" She tried to pull her arm out of his grasp but he gripped harder, "leave me alone Lucas-" he didn't let go, he couldn't, "Luke!"

"Brooke-" suddenly and without warning he cupped her face and kissed her passionately. For a second she let him- let herself sink into the moment. The hole in her heart filled and the ache he had left so many years ago was eased... It was like a dream, so easy, so perfect, he was everything she wanted, everything she needed. For a second she couldn't help but stop fighting it...

And he was so warm, so tender and.. and _so_ not her boyfriend. Horrified she pulled back and at the same time she felt the searing pain in her cut lip. Damn that karma.

"What's wrong?" He looked at her puzzled.

"What's wrong? Lucas you just kissed me and you're with someone else!"

"You kissed me back Brooke."

"Don't ever do that again Lucas," she said angrily.

"Brooke-"

"No I mean it- stay away from me. Stay the hell away."

"You felt something too didn't you?" His eyes followed her as she edged towards the back door- she didn't know where she was going, she just had to get out.

"You're with my best friend Lucas- I love her, I can't do this to her, ever." She shook her head, clutching her shoes and closed the door quickly behind her.

He watched her go desperately trying to think of something to say and then turned towards the café, touching his lips where they had met hers- he could still taste her on them. He bent to pick up the bowl full of half eaten cheese cake and as he stood up, looked straight into Peyton's eyes.

_You are the best friend ever P Sawyer, but honestly, if Lucas and I couldn't make it as a couple before what makes you think we can now?_

_Well for one thing, I wouldn't make out with him this time._

_And another, he's not the same guy, and you are definitely not the same girl._

**So i know that was shorter than normal but i didn't want to add anything after the kiss/fight... hope it was alright as it was though!**


	6. Can't Stand In Between Anymore

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys, i'm really appreciative that people are taking the time to do it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill.**

"Peyton-" Lucas shoved his hands into his pockets, he couldn't think of anything he could possibly say, "how long- how much- are you ok?"

Peyton stared at him, her eyes were hooded and red rimmed- she had been crying in the car with Nathan. He had sat holding her hand thinking his brother was an absolute ass and urging her to end things for her own sake but she had thought she should give Lucas one more chance, after all, she loved him. And now she stood motionless in front of him.

"Peyton?" He could hardly say her name but it seemed to be enough to jerk her into action.

"I came back to talk, to talk this through- to apologise actually," she laughed but there was no humour in the sound, she nodded, "but I guess I don't owe you anything right now." She backed out of the room and he moved to run after her.

"Peyton wait-"

He followed her into the café as she fled out the door and Nathan caught his arm before Lucas could go any further.

"You don't get to follow her right now Lucas," he said, his voice low but there was a menacing undertone, "leave her alone."

"Get off me man," he pulled away but then realised the whole room was staring at him- Jayden and Jamie were looking up from their colouring- their eyes wide. "I'm sorry," he muttered before backing into the kitchen again.

Brooke sat throwing grass over the edge of the wall she was sitting on, watching it disappear or get picked up by the wind and carried away. The wind caught her hair now and it whipped round her face sharply. She closed her eyes and couldn't avoid the inevitable visions of Luke's eyes meeting hers, Lucas kissing her, saying he didn't want his life to suck without her... He had looked so lonely, so desperate. She hadn't had the same experience he had had over the last five years- she had had Jayden. She had never been truly alone when she was with Jay and she wouldn't have done it any differently, but she missed Lucas like nothing else. There was a part of her missing and she knew what could fix it. Some nights when she had been trying to get Jayden to sleep she had wished there would be somebody else with her in the room, someone to wrap his arms around her, kiss her cheek, say 'I got it from here babe, you go get some sleep.' But no-one had done that, she had been alone and she had missed him...

_I mean, I love my clothes but there's an ache in my heart where Lucas used to be._

"Brooke?"

She snapped her head round, Peyton was standing behind her, hands shoved deep down into her pockets, her eyes burning into her best friend's own, Brooke stood up.

"Peyton-"

Peyton came over and stood right in front of her, for a second Brooke was afraid she was going to punch her, but she didn't move. Brooke tried to speak again but her voice failed her. Peyton raised her eyebrows, it was clear she was waiting for some sort of explanation. They stood in silence, the lovely brunette and the beautiful blonde. Brooke knew there was so much they needed to say but she didn't know where to start. She was afraid her best friend was going to walk away before she had the chance to speak- this spurred her into words;

"I'm sorry." She didn't know what to say next.

Peyton stood in silence still, she looked like a marble statue, finally Brooke's frustration bubbled over, "Peyton please say something."

Peyton swallowed hard, "I don't know what to say first."

Brooke couldn't breathe. She didn't want to lose her best friend, she couldn't. She reached out and tried to take Peyton's hand but it was too soon and she pulled away, flinching.

"Sorry," Brooke said again quickly.

Peyton sighed and then said crossly, "stop saying you're sorry."

"But-"

"Look it's not like I didn't do exactly the same thing to you right?"

"That is not the same Peyton- we were in high school- this was now- you and Luke-"

"Yeah that's right," Peyton met her eye, her own green ones were heavy, "I was sixteen, and you and Luke had only been together what? A month?" Brooke couldn't have felt worse as Peyton carried on, "whereas now... Now Lucas and I have been together for five years and we are _not_ sixteen any more. I loved him."

Brooke nodded, "I know Peyton- and what I did just then- it's- it's so bad and I am truly sorry but-"

"Yeah it is bad, but you know Luke and I are lives have been- what was it he said? That our lives sucked?" Brooke looked at the floor, she couldn't believe her friend had heard that much, "yeah that's it, our lives suck." Peyton dragged her eyes up to meet Brooke's again, "but I thought it was my life you know?" She shrugged, "turns out it was your life, I was just the wrong girl."

"Peyton-" Brooke tried to explain something, anything.. Peyton ignored her and kicked a rock over the edge.

"I made a big mistake thinking I could compete with you," she said grimly.

"You were never competing Peyton- Lucas told me he wanted to be with you."

"Yeah well," Peyton grimaced, "since when has that guy _ever_ known what he wanted?" She sat down on the wall heavily and pushed dirt around with her hands.

Brooke sat down next to her and slipped an arm over her friend's shoulder, this time she didn't pull away. "I know sweetie, I think we both know."

_The truth is, I care about Peyton._

_Then what is the difference?_

Brooke closed her eyes briefly and swallowed, she had to say it all now. "Peyton, I have to tell you something."

Peyton turned and looked at her, to Brooke's surprise there was an element of amusement on her face; "you think I don't know?"

"Don't know what?" She played for time but Peyton rolled her eyes.

"You can't kiss someone like that if you don't have feelings for them."

Brooke cringed, "oh god i'm so sorry you had to see that Peyton."

"I should have seen it coming Brooke."

"Peyton _please_ stop beating yourself up like this- it's not your fault, I told you I was ok with you dating Lucas, I should have let it go, and I couldn't."

Peyton looked down over the edge, she took in the broken glass beneath her feet, the rubble and the dead grass, her best friend's feet drowning in Nathan's massive shoes and she couldn't help it, she smiled.

"It's ok Brooke."

Brooke turned and looked at her incredulously, "what?"

Peyton reached and took her friend's hand, ignoring the tears that were falling down her face, "I said it's ok. If you have feelings for him I can't stand in the way of that. You and Lucas have something that he and I never did," she swallowed and wiped her eyes quickly, "he- he doesn't love me the way he loves you- he needs you, and as much as you've denied it, you need him too."

Brooke sighed, "I have lived without him for five years Peyton, I don't need him."

"Brooke do me a favour? Don't lie to me- i'm your best friend, i'm the one person in the world you can tell."

"And you're the one person who stands to get hurt the most by what i've done."

"Brooke i'm not a victim here! Stop it."

"I know, i'm sorry P Sawyer. Really I am soo sorry," she clutched her friend's hand to her chest and then kissed it, "you still my best friend then?"

"In the whole world," Peyton said smiling faintly at her.

"I'm so glad," Brooke said relievedly. They sat in a companionable silence, both of them watching the clouds sail past, the birds soaring over head and the leaves rustling around them. Peyton squeezed Brooke's hand suddenly and cleared her throat;

"I gotta go, I need to clear some stuff out of Luke's and..." She paused, "find a place to live."

She flipped out her cell and dialled a number as she clambered up off the wall.

"Yeah I should get back to the café and check on Jayden," Brooke climbed up and waited for Peyton to finish on her cell.

"Nathan it's me- I just wanted to let you know i'm ok and I was wondering if you could call me back asap cos i'll need a lift from somewhere with all my boxes.. you know where... ok so call me."

She shut the cell and turned back to her friend, "you ready?"

Brooke glanced down at Nathan's trainers and then looked up at Peyton and grinned, "yeah I guess."

* * *

Peyton opened the door to the Scott residence twenty minutes later and closed her eyes, she could totally do this.

"Hey-" Her eyes snapped open and she saw that Lucas was sitting on the bed.

"Why are you here?" He stood up and tried to meet her eyes.

"I- I thought you might come by, I mean, I _hoped _you might come by,"

"Why?"

"I wanted to explain."

"There's nothing to explain Luke- you're completely in love with someone else, I was in denial about it but well obviously I can't deny what my own eyes saw."

"Peyton-"

"No it's ok, we weren't working anyway."

"Why are you being so cold about this?"

She suddenly moved forward her eyes had lost their heaviness and now they were blazing with anger, "you wanna see how I really feel Lucas?" She turned round and went over to where his manuscript for his latest book was lying on the desk and threw it at him, "how could you?"

"Peyton-"

"How could you live this lie for so long? How could you let me live it too?! God I feel so stupid!" She threw the next nearest book at him and it hit him squarely on the chest. She marched over to the chest of drawers and pulled out all her tee shirts and threw them into a sports bag and then finally set something down in front of him on the bed.

"I guess I won't be needing this- _ever_."

He looked down at it with regret in his eyes, the tiny dark green velvet box and opened his mouth to say something but she held up a hand, "we used to be friends Lucas and that meant something to me. We used to talk, for hours, and you used to be there for me through everything and that meant something to me as well, and now," she dropped her hand, "now we're nothing and this," she gestured between them, "this means nothing to me."

"Peyton i'm so sorry."

"No- you're not-"

"I am- truly."

"When have you ever meant anything truthfully? When have you ever meant anything you ever said to me?"

"Peyton please-"

"Ok, i'm sorry, that was harsh- maybe I should kiss someone in front of you and then we'd be some where like even?"

She headed for the door and then said softly, "the funny thing is Luke, is that I thought you loved _me_" she shook her head, "but you were just using me to hide from Brooke. I think deep down you know that all along too."

_The difference is I love you Brooke._

* * *

Brooke opened the café door and Jayden ran towards her, "Momma I was worried when you didn't come back!"

"Oh baby i'm sorry!" She hugged him tightly, "I didn't go far, I just needed to have a talk with Aunty Peyton ok?"

"Ok," he looked at her doubtfully, playing with her hair dark hair, twisting a lock round his finger, "promise?"

"Promise!" She kissed his cheek and then put him down, "you wanna show me your colourings?"

"Yeaaah! But they're not finished yet so you have to wait a minute."

"Oh ok!" Brooke watched him go happily, he was taking after her in the perfectionism area.

"Haa like mother like son there," Haley said amusedly, coming over and handing Brooke a mug filled with hot chocolate, Brooke took it gratefully and smiled;

"Yeah he's brilliant," she said softly. Haley's other arm was holding the tiny baby girl that Brooke had come to meet and see christened.

"Ohhh Hales, she's so beautiful!"

"I know I know- I can't believe we created this!"

"I know! How clever are we hot moms?" Haley laughed and Brooke reached her finger forward and the tiny hand grasped it, "wow she's strong!"

They sat down and Brooke reached forward, "can I?"

"Of course," Haley passed the baby girl gently across and watched as Brooke teared up slightly.

Brooke looked up at Haley and smiled, "I feel so grown up right now."

"I know, it feels so strange! You're Jayden is really great by the way Brooke, you should be proud."

"Thanks Hales, and i'm sorry I went MIA there- was Jayden ok?"

"He was fine, the question is, is his mom ok?" Haley's brown eyes were concerned as she looked at Brooke.

"I'm ok Hales, had a little err slip up in the kitchen, Peyton and I had a talk, but we're ok."

"Riiight," Haley's eyes were full of disbelief, "and it has nothing to do with my best friend running round looking all tortured and upset?"

Brooke sighed, "things have just got away from me Hales, I don't know how it happened. When I was in New York it was like I could keep myself from all the drama- from the past but now- it's right in front of me and I don't know how to deal with it."

Haley reached over and squeezed her friend's shoulder, "oh Brooke, why didn't you say something earlier?"

"I wanted to be here for you guys, you know I wanted to see the baby and Jamie. And I missed home and I thought I could handle this. I thought I was over hi-" she stopped and she could feel Haley's hand moving off her shoulder slowly, "ahhh I mean over _it_, over everything that happened here."

Haley was silent, staring into her own mug, trying to think of the right thing to say, finally she looked up, "but you're not- are you?"

* * *

_Haley pushed open the hospital door and beamed at her friend sitting up in bed, "hey girly, how you doin?"_

_Brooke looked at her tiredly but she had a glow radiating from her, "hey tutor girl, can you believe it? I'm a mom!"_

_Haley sat on the edge of the bed and squeezed her hand, "you know what," she met her eyes solemnly, "I really can't." She kept her face straight for a second and then broke into a grin, Brooke giggled and kicked her feet under the bed._

"_Oh i'm so excited! You wanna see him?"_

"_It's a him?" Haley couldn't believe she'd missed it, she and Nathan had been stranded on the way to prom and only Peyton had been with her friend. She was glad that someone had been there though, Lucas was so not in her good books right now. _

_**She had fought with him over his choice to be with Peyton whilst Brooke was pregnant but he had met her eyes coldly every time and he had said firmly, "she doesn't want me with her- and why should I fight it? It's not my baby Haley."**_

"_**That doesn't matter Lucas- you should be there for her!"**_

"_**Haley please, leave it alone- Brooke and I are done." She could see it in his eyes he was lying.**_

"_**Why are you in such denial about this? She made a mistake with Chris but you shouldn't punish her forever over it."**_

"_**Why not? That kid's going to be around forever."**_

_Haley jumped off the bed now and peered into the crib beside Brooke; "Oh Brooke, he's sooo cute! What's his name gonna be?"_

"_Jayden Sawyer," Brooke said firmly, "after his godmother." Haley smiled at her and nodded._

"_That's great girly girl."_

"_Actually Hales," Brooke swung her legs over the edge of the bed and leant on the crib with one hand, taking Haley's own hand with her other free one, "I was wondering how you and Nate felt about being godparents as a joint thing?"_

_Haley pushed her dark golden hair out of her face feeling puzzled, "what do you mean?"_

"_I mean, you've both been there for me and I know Peyton's my best friend but I love you both too and I was wondering how you felt about taking on my boy as a joint venture."_

"_Ohh Brooke, thank you! We'd be honoured!" Haley reached over and hugged her friend gently._

"_Ohh not too tight honey, i'm a little sore," she eased back into bed and Haley fussed over her sheets before bending and picking Jayden up slowly._

"_Hey little man- you gonna say hi to mom?" She handed him over to Brooke and as she pulled away found she had to wipe some tears away. She cleared her throat and shook herself, "so, girly, I gotta ask, does Lucas know you're here?"_

_Brooke hardly moved, keeping her eyes fixed on her new son, "yeah," she said quietly, "he was at mine and Peytons when I called."_

_Haley nodded, she felt so bad for her friend, why was Lucas such a jerk? Who cared if it was Keller's baby- Lucas should still be there for her._

"_It's ok Hales," Brooke met her eyes now, "I don't need anyone else to be here for me and my boy. In fact, there's something I have to tell you."_

_Haley looked at her confused, "what?"_

"_Jayden and I are gonna move to New York for a little while."_

_Haley stood up off the bed, "what are you talking about?"_

"_Hales please don't be upset, I need to do this."_

"_No Brooke- you need to stay- what about graduating? What about Peyton? Me! Brooke i'm pregnant! I need you to be there when my child is born!"_

"_I know you're pregnant sweetie and it kills me I won't be here but you can come and visit and I can come here and-" she paused and dashed away tears, "please try and understand Hales, I can't stay here. Every time Lucas looks at me I can't stand it- he looks so angry and so, so hurt." She knew she shouldn't admit that but she needed to tell someone, Haley would understand._

_Haley sat down again and clutched her hands, "be honest with me Brooke is this about leaving Tree Hill or about Lucas and Peyton?"_

"_What do you think Hales?"_

"_I-"_

_There was a knock at the door and they both looked up, to Haley's surprise it was Karen; "hi Brooke, Haley, how you girls doing?" She waved a basket full of what looked like blue blankets, "you got a minute Brooke?"_

* * *

Haley was still waiting for Brooke's answer when Jayden came running over again, "Momma look!"

"What baby?" Brooke handed the baby girl gently back to her friend and crouched down beside her son, "there's a balloon in the sky!"

They both ran outside and Brooke lifted Jayden up so that he could wave at the people in the hot air balloon.

"Do you think they saw us?"

"I bet they did sweetie," she touched her cheek to his soft one and smiled as she felt the familiar dimples so similar to her own."You wanna go for a walk buddy?"

"Yeah!" He jumped out of her arms and took her hand, "let's go to the beach please!"

"That's kind of far honey."

"So!?"

Karen glanced out of the window as she was wiping down a table and smiled at the scene of Brooke and her son walking down the street. She chuckled as she looked down, Brooke really needed to get some new shoes. But she was so good with her son, Karen watched them go with a jolt of sadness, she wished her son could be on the other side, holding her grandson's hand...

_I'm just as scared as you are. But I want to help. Please. Just, trust me._

**So I know there wasn't much brucas togetherness just more- hints. Hope it was ok guys- please review if you enjoyed!**


	7. Finally Ready

**A/N: I'm sorrrrry it's been so long, i've been really under the weather so this has been written under lots of blankets with old school ER on in the background- my own personal cure! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

Brooke carried Jayden up to the spare bedroom and laid him gently on the double bed. He'd fallen asleep while they were watching Peter Pan and she had been dozing herself when Nathan gently nudged her, "you're snoring Davis."

"I am not!" She'd retorted sleepily but Peyton had sniggered from the arm chair next to her;

"You so are B Davis."

"You two are being mean," she said crossly but pulled herself off the sofa and peeled Jayden out from under a mound of cushions. They had stayed on the beach until it had got dark, lying on the sand watching shooting stars and giggling together. She was glad Jayden had had the chance to get to know her home town.

"You wanna make a wish baby?"

"Hmmm- if I wish for a dog will you think about it?"

"Oh I don't know- if you make a wish out loud it won't come true."

"But if I don't say it out loud you won't know I wished for it," he said simply. She turned and looked at him;

"You are so smart honey, but you know if you want something really badly, and I mean really badly- you'll get it in the end." She rubbed his hand, "I promise ok?"

"Ok," he smiled at her and then turned back to the sky, she brushed her eyes quickly, she could hear him muttering under his breath. She smiled softly, it was nights like this she would remember forever.

He twisted in his half sleep now and rubbed his eyes, "I wanted to see the end of the film Momma."

"You can watch it tomorrow baby." She began tucking him in, "you just gotta behave really well in the church tomorrow ok?"

"I always behave Momma."

"I know buddy I know I was just reminding you. But I know you're good- you're my best boy."

"In the whole world?"

"In the world and the universe and infinity- I love you more than all of that put together." She collapsed on the bed and rubbed her nose with his, "you're my favourite person ever Jayden Sawyer."

"And you're mine," he said messing with her hair.

"Well i'm glad to hear it!"

"I love you Momma."

"And I love you buddy, now go to sleep!" She watched him as he snuggled down into the sheets and waited until his breathing became even and he was finally asleep, he looked so cute asleep.

* * *

She padded through to the bathroom and began brushing her teeth, Haley joined her, "hey girlie girl."

"Hi," she said with her mouth full of toothpaste. Haley grinned and began rubbing moisturiser across her cheeks.

"You ok?" She asked quietly. Brooke nodded mutely and then met her eyes in the mirror, Haley looked completely unconvinced.

Brooke spat out, "I mean it Hales i'm fine, how's the baby girl sleeping?"

Haley beamed, "like an angel, hey you know we thought of a name?"

"Well that's a good thing considering the christening's tomorrow sweetie," Brooke tapped her friend on the forehead with her toothbrush and then rinsed it under the sink, "so tell me." Haley rubbed her hands clean and leant against the sink.

"Ok, it's gonna be Grace Isobel Scott."

Brooke clutched her chest, "oh my gosh Hales, that's beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it," she straightened the hand towel and then looked up, "Brooke, I talked to Peyton this evening and she- she told me what happened this afternoon."

Brooke couldn't look at her, she sat down on the edge of the bath and crossed her feet. She couldn't deal with this now, for one moment everything had been ok and now she was gonna get yelled at. She needed her friends right now, she needed Haley to understand.

"Hales-"

Haley held up a hand, "it's ok, she said she saw it coming and to be honest I can't believe I didn't."

"You thought i'd cheat with Lucas?!" She said incredulously.

"No Brooke, don't be silly- I meant that I can't believe I genuinely thought you might be over Lucas- or that he would be over you." She sat down heavily next to Brooke and took her hand. "I love you Brooke but I love Peyton too, and, when he's not being a total idiot I love Luke." She paused, "so I need to know, do you still have feelings for Lucas? Or are you just lonely or upset about something? Honestly now, just the two of us in this bathroom amongst all my towels and Jamie's bath toys."

"I-I can't have feelings for him Haley- Peyton."

"Peyton is a big girl Brooke, she's made her choice and it is so important you do too, you _have _to stop running Brooke."

"Why?" Brooke said sulkily, "i've been ok as I am."

"You mean avoiding your feelings for five years?"

"I have not!" Brooke stood up quickly and shut the door, "and shh!"

"Brooke," Haley ignored her, "you are the most in denial person I have ever met- and I know Peyton."

Brooke half smiled, "well that's true," she sat back down, "sorry- I guess i'm just... freaking out. What's wrong with me Hales? I kissed my best friend's boy friend, i'm in love with my best friend's boyfriend! I-" she almost blurted out that she had lied to everyone except Karen for the last four years but stopped herself just in time.

"There's nothing wrong with you Brooke and it's ex boyfriend now."

"That doesn't matter! He was still with Peyton!"

"So?! At one time you were with Lucas when Peyton and he hooked up, when she developed feelings for him- I swear he must have some special water he gives you guys or something..." Brooke snorted, "but my point, my dear friend, is that _you_ have been in love with him since- well forever and you have to eventually accept that. It doesn't matter that he is Peyton's ex- he was your ex once too- stop lying to yourself!"

_I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, like before. Cause you hurt me so bad, and I was afraid to be vulnerable. And I was afraid of you and the way you make me feel._

"I am _not_ in love with him!"

"You just said you were."

Brooke tried to argue and then sighed, "yeah I guess I am," she felt her face grow hot, "damn you Haley Scott."

Haley smiled a proper smile and squeezed her hand, "what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know Hales. Nothing? I know Luke and I have history, we always will, but, I don't know, he dropped me once- i'm too afraid he'd do it again."

"Brooke- you know that's not true. He's learnt his lesson."

"I don't think so Haley- he's so difficult to say no to but he's still so angry at me. What if he wants to get revenge for something he doesn't know the whole truth about and he just wants to leave me broken hearted again?"

Haley looked puzzled, "what are you talking about the whole truth?"

"Oh- never mind. I just- if he loves me why did he spend all those years with Peyton? Why did he tell me he wanted to be with her in the first place?" The raw hurt that she had tried so hard to cover up all these years. "I love him so much and I don't know how to deal with it- to deal with him- he's so angry and hurt."

"He was hurt about the baby Brooke- he was a confused seventeen year old."

"So? Now he's a confused twenty two year old."

"So are you! Don't sit on a high horse Brooke, you did some things too- but if you try and get past it- maybe you'll find your answers. Just, spend some time with him maybe." Haley stood up and kissed the top of her friend's head, "we all love you whatever ok?"

"Thank you fairy godmother," she said softly, Haley turned at the door and winked at her.

* * *

Brooke set off from the Naley household early the next day. It was a beautiful dawn, barely five thirty and she needed to clear her head. She hadn't planned on telling Haley her real feelings for Lucas- they'd just sort of, slipped out. Dammit, she felt like she was spiralling out of control, she needed to be alone, to think, to be with herself.

She jogged down the road, she didn't need music, she needed silence for a while, everything in her head was so fuzzy already- she didn't need anybody else's angsty feelings floating around as well. It felt good to run, she let herself go, pushing herself hard, the wind whisking her hair back and cutting her face. She ended up on the beach, running across the sand before collapsing against a sand dune. She closed her eyes, soaking up the early sun, thinking that maybe she would stay until Karen's wedding when a voice broke her thoughts.

"I didn't know Brooke Davis got up before the sun was high up in the sky." She froze, what the hell? Was nowhere safe? She swallowed and tried to steady herself.

She opened her eyes, and said smirking, "who says i've been to bed?"

Lucas chuckled and sat down beside her, she stayed lying down- she didn't trust herself to be any closer. She wondered if he could hear her heart thumping through her sports vest. He didn't look like he could hear it, instead he looked seriously hot. He removed his i-pod and collapsed on the sand, then tipped his head back, closing his eyes and exhaling hard.

"Why are you up so early?" She asked, running her hand through the sand to distract herself from breathing in his familiar scent, to avoid looking at him at all.

"Ahh you know, couldn't sleep," he twisted and opened one eye, squinting at her, "what's you excuse?"

"Oh," she tried to form words that weren't, 'I was thinking about you' and faltered, "err.. Jay was awake- sometimes he doesn't sleep well in other people's beds."

He nodded shortly and she closed her eyes briefly, she wished that her son wasn't such a sore point for him. There was no way she would ever trade Jayden for anything in the world, she just wished Lucas felt the same- not the opposite. She decided she needed to tell him;

"Luke-" she stopped, she couldn't say it. How did she change his world like this?

"What?"

"Ohh nothing.." Man she was such a wimp. But at least he was talking to her, she didn't want to ruin the moment with something serious.

He turned and looked at her, took in her perfectly sculptured face, the dimples in her cheeks, the long eye lashes, every shade of her eyes. He dropped onto his elbows and turned on his side, his body suddenly a lot closer to hers. He tried to ignore the hundreds of things he wanted to say to her, i'm sorry, about yesterday, I love you... Instead he opted for something light and easy, keep it cool Luke.

"You know those trainers don't exactly look used Davis."

She opened her eyes and took a sharp intake of breath when she saw how close he was, "well," she kinked an eye brow, "i'm just so light on my feet they don't look worn down."

"Or else they're just brand new."

"They are not!"

He reached forward and picked one of her feet up, she could feel her whole leg tingling, "Brooke the labels are still on the bottom!"

"That's just cos I like them there," she said defensively, pulling her foot away. He sniggered and held his hands up.

"Ok ok, I take it back- how long have you been running for?"

"On and off for a while," she pulled her trainers off and sank her bare feet into the sand, "it's about the only form of exercise I can bear, everything else bores me."

"I bet," he said grinning.

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, it's just-" he paused and shrugged.

"What? Come on tell me!" She sat up and punched him lightly on the arm.

"Hey hey no it doesn't matter."

"It must've been something bad, you can't start saying something and take it back."

"I can," he raised his eyebrows at her grinning impishly, "I just did."

"You're mean!" She grabbed a handful of sand and stuffed it down the back of his tee shirt and he squirmed, jumping up laughing.

"You did not just shove sand down my back, you're gonna pay for that." He knelt back down on the sand and snatched up two fistfuls of sand.

"No- Lucas this hair has just been washed!" She backed away from him but found she was stuck against the dune and laughing he caught up with her and rubbed the sand into her hair, it poured down her face.

"Lucas!" She grabbed his wrists and pushed him backwards, as she did so he lost his balance and the two of them toppled over backwards. She landed on top of him, still clutching his wrists and her face inches from his. His blue eyes looked into her own intently and she couldn't help but hold his gaze. For a second it felt like nothing had changed between them and he reached up and pushed a strand of her thick hair off her face and breathed her in, she smelt like strawberries.

_I wasn't ready to lose you._

"Brooke," he said softly.

"Mmm?" She couldn't speak, she didn't dare.

"You still mad about yesterday?"

Reluctantly she rolled off him and looked up at the sky, a bird flew over them and she watched it wishing she was up there too. How did she answer that? She rested her head on her arms and blew her hair out of her face.

"Brooke?" He was watching her, waiting for her response.

"I'm not mad," he breathed a silent sigh of relief, "i'm just... confused." She rolled on her side and looked at him, "I'm really confused."

"About what?"

"About you Luke!"

"What are you confused about?"

"You left me Lucas, all those years ago, you changed your mind and you walked out on me-"

"You walked out on me too!"

"Lucas please- let me explain this."

"Sorry."

"Luke- when I left I never told you how I felt because I thought you were happy with Peyton but even if you weren't, why did you never come after me? Why didn't you fight if that was what you wanted? If _I_ was what you wanted?" It was the question she was most afraid to ask, did he not want her any more?

"You were always what I wanted Brooke." She closed her eyes, she couldn't look at him, "I didn't come to New York because you made it pretty clear you didn't want _me_."

"What-"

"Brooke, you had someone else's _son_."

"I-" she swallowed, suddenly it bothered her that he was so hung up on this, "but if you loved me Lucas, if you loved me, it wouldn't have mattered who's child I was having. What would have mattered is that you wanted to be with me and have a family with me. You of all people should know that family doesn't always come in a perfect package."

He nodded, she had a point. "I'm sorry I didn't fight for you. I made a mistake. I was afraid-" he faltered, "can't you forgive me for that? Don't you ever feel afraid?"

She met his eyes, he was close to her again, she nodded, "i'm afraid right now," she said quietly.

"You don't have to be," he said leaning in slowly. She closed her eyes and then pulled back quickly;

"Are we really gonna do this?"

"Why not?" He took her chin gently in his hand and his mouth brushed hers, it was enough to send shivers down her spine. She slid her hands up his arms and cupped his face, her fingers stroking his cheeks and then finding their way into his hair. Gently he pushed her back into the sand, this time she didn't care so much about it messing up her own hair. He was kissing her more passionately now and she reciprocated enthusiastically, her arms wrapping around his neck. His hand ran up her leg but she pushed it away, confused he tried again and once more she pushed it away, this time crossly.

"Luke!"

"What? What's wrong?"

"I just- this is a beach- I- we- can we just take this slow?" He looked into her hazel eyes, trying to figure her out, and found himself giving in before he'd had a chance to question it.

"Slow is fine by me," he said smiling slightly and easing her back into the sand.

_I wasn't ready to be lost._

**Ok so Brucas progress! I was worried it was too fast but there is more drama and of course luurrrve ahead. Please do take the time to review if you liked, or didn't! They keep me going.**


	8. Hope Found

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. **

**A/N: I know I know- it's been aaages! Sorry. BTW, I know BL were kind of kicked in the teeth in 6x01 so I hope all BL fanfics are helping you guys stay positive. Oh and incidently, mortifying mistake in the last chapter- Jayden already HAS a dog, so sorry about that, he wouldn't have wished for another one! I hope this chapter is ok, i've altered it so much cos I wanted to get it right, there's still a lot of strife but I promise Brooke is making progress so stick with me! Please do review if you enjoyed.**

Brooke opened the door to the spare bedroom at half eight, very sandy and feeling guilty she was now running late for Nathan and Haley. She pulled her vest off quickly, showering sand across the floor and reached for a blue silk sleeveless top.

"Jayden sweetheart, wake up!" She twisted her hair up and adjusted the tendrils around her face, "Jayden!"

Jayden rolled over and flung his arms up in the air, "Momma! I was having a good dream!"

"I know baby I know," she fiddled with an earring muttering to herself, "so was I."

But it hadn't been a dream... She had been on a beach making out with Lucas. Lucas Scott. She couldn't believe it. She'd been so reckless. She'd been so hurt by him and yet it had taken him less than a day to win her over. She had to be stronger... She took a deep breath, she had more important things to think about today, the christening, Jayden, how bad her hair looked- oh man, she knew she should have tried harder to resist! Damn karma. Damn sand! Damn Lucas and his gorgeous eyes... his nice hands... oh.

Jayden slipped out of the bed and wondered over to where she was sitting. He clambered up onto the stool and looked into her eyes in the mirror, "you look pretty Momma."

"Thanks baby," he dimpled at her, the dimples parallel to her own and she ruffled his hair. "You gonna go get dressed now please?"

Jayden pulled a face, "do I have to?" His eyes were sleepy still and he stuck his thumb into his mouth- an old habit she had been unable to bring herself to quite eradicate. She loved that he was still her little boy, no matter how fast he was growing up.

"Yep- but you need to wake up a bit first- I think you need a cold shower."

"No!"

"Yesss!" She turned and swooped him up off the stool and he squealed happily, "come on mister Davis, you need a good waking up!"

"No no! Not a shower!" He grabbed hold of the door frame and tried to cling on.

"Let go Jayden Sawyer!"

"Nooo! I'm clean now Momma no!"

"Yes!" She pulled him gently and he reluctantly let go and with that she carried him into the bathroom, switching on the shower.

"Nooo Momma!" He tried to hold onto the shower curtain but she was stronger than him and chuckling she made him stand up in the shower. He was about to scream but then realised it was hot water and stopped whimpering. He stepped into the water and she laughed.

"Jayden you're still wearing your pyjamas!"

He shrugged and beamed widely at her, "they'll dry." She narrowed her eyes, he was so sensible for his age, she knew where he got that from.

"Alright smarty pants, pass over the wet stuff."

She waited while he stripped and then moved for the door, "i'll be back in five minutes- you better be ready to get out mister."

She jogged down the stairs to where Haley kept the drier and sank to her knees beside it. The tiny white christening dress was hanging on the line above her on a soft velvet hanger, she reached up and touched it gently. It was so pretty, so white, she smiled to herself, it was going to be so lovely watching Grace start her life.

"Hey Brooke- you ready to go?"

She looked up, Nathan was fastening his tie and looking down at her, his eyebrows raised as he took in her half smart, half sports style clothing. "Is that a new Clothes Over Bros style I should tell Haley about?"

She stood up and dusted off her hands looking down at her shorts embarrassed, "oh no- I just needed to get Jayden up and I didn't have time to change-" she trailed off, he smirked.

"Time? You've been up hours, I heard you at like six. Where've you been Davis?"

"Nowhere important," she said quickly, "just for a brief run on the beach."

"A brief run?!" He snorted, "Brooke- i've never seen you run, _ever._"

"Hey, I run!"

"Tschhh."

"What is it with all you Scotts and your mockery of me running?!"

"Us Scotts?" He said slowly, a smile spreading across his face "us?"

"Yeah you know- Haley! Haley was mocking me, you know, yesterday."

He was silent, smirking at her.

"Shut up," she muttered, punching him in the chest as she walked past.

As she sat back down at the dressing table again she reached out her hand, it shook slightly, she tried to steady it. What was she doing making out with Lucas on a beach? He had broken her heart, she couldn't go there again. She shook her head and stood up, gotta shake it off. But god he had looked so gorgeous, so utterly undeniable- why could she never say no to him?! She switched to a dark blue satin skirt and applied a quick lick of mascara. Jayden came over and pulled at his shirt.

"I don't like this Momma."

"You only have to wear it for a few hours sweetheart."

She straightened Jayden's tie and then kissed him on the forehead, "besides you look so smart and handsome my boy."

"Mmm thanks Momma," he said reluctantly, "you look nice too."

"Well thank you," she smiled at him and hugged him tightly, breathing in his familiar scent. She knew that whatever happened she had Jayden. From down stairs Nathan shouted up to them;

"Yo Davis and Davis junior- come on."

She ruffled Jayden's hair, "Ok baby let's go." She took his hand and they tapped down the stairs together. Lucas was standing at the bottom and watched her the whole way down, he made her feel hot and flustered and nervous and excited all at the same time.

_Somebody tell me you've got love figured out, because I got news for you;_

_It's pretty darn messy right now. But I guess it has always been that way. Wanting to be loved, to find somebody that makes your heart aches in a good way... feel understood..._

She pushed her hair out of her face and smiled weakly at him, "hi-i-" she said shakily, her heart was doing somersaults.

"Hey you," he said softly.

"Hi-" she looked up at him, her eyes full of things she wanted to say and then to her complete surprise he crouched down and looked at Jayden, "hey there Jayden- how you doin?"

Jayden looked at him doubtfully then said, "i'm ok thank you."

"Great," he stood up, "shall we go?" Brooke was staring at him incredulously, she couldn't believe Lucas had made a move to talk to Jayden, maybe he was really trying this time.

* * *

They piled into the car, Haley in the front with Nathan driving, Brooke, the new baby and Lucas in the middle and Jamie and Jayden in the back. Brooke fussed over Grace to avoid looking at Lucas. She didn't know what to feel. Man why couldn't she just catch ten minutes alone to think this over?! She tipped her head back and closed her eyes, counting to ten- deep calming breaths.

Lucas could feel her freaking out, even with the baby in between them, and wished he could do something to soothe her. He wanted to let her know he wasn't going anywhere this time. He knew how badly he had screwed up, knew that he couldn't expect to just waltz back into her life. Wait a second, waltz? He'd been listening to Haley waaaay too much recently. He sighed, he knew he wasn't doing do this right, he had to slow things down- ease her into the idea of the two of them. Hell he'd made an effort with Jayden hadn't he? That had to mean something to her. The journey was a short one and she leapt out of the car before Lucas had time to touch her, to break her resolve, to do anything.

"Alright boys- jump out."

"Brooke-" he snapped off his seat belt and jogged round to her side, "can we talk?"

Jayden was swinging on her arm and she winced, "i'm kinda busy right now Luke-"

"Brooke-" his eyes searched her face and she brushed him away.

"Later Lucas."

He watched her run up the steps to the church, "you look nice," he called out after her, she turned and smiled at him quickly, he felt better.

_You look nice._

He jogged up the steps himself and followed her inside. She was standing next to the wall, watching Jayden and Jamie trying to crawl under the nearest pew. He sidled towards her.

"You know how sexy you look in that skirt?" He said smirking at her.

She turned open mouthed and from the other side of the wall Peyton straightened up from where she'd been fastening her shoe. Lucas closed his eyes briefly.

"Nice Lucas. Real gentlemanly," she said quietly, she turned and squeezed Brooke on the arm, "i'm gonna go see if Gracie and her Momma need anything ok?" Without a backwards glance at Lucas she headed up the aisle and he knew what was coming. Brooke rounded on him;

"I said later Lucas!"

"What? Like I was supposed to know she was there?!"

"Lucas- Peyton is my best friend, I don't want anything that happens between us rubbed in her face, that includes you saying things like that in public!"

"Do you mean things like _that_ Brooke- or do you mean talking to you at all?"

"Look, Lucas- I told you I wanted to do this slowly."

"You're pushing me away before we've even started!"

"It's complicated and you know that."

"Brooke, I love-"

"Don't say it Lucas, I can't hear it right now."

"Brooke-"

"You were with Peyton for five years Luke! I need to respect that-"

"It didn't stop you this morning!"

From behind him there was a sigh and he turned, horrified, to look at Peyton who was trying her hardest to look at the ceiling and not at him, "Haley wanted to know if you guys were gonna sit up at the front or where you're standing," she glared at Lucas, "I guess i'll go tell her you should be burning in hell, not sitting in a church."

Brooke covered her face briefly as Peyton stormed away but Lucas couldn't leave this as it was.

"You can't use Peyton as your excuse forever Brooke," he said softly before turning and moving to catch up with Peyton. She sighed, watching him go.

_But i'm scared to open up my heart like that again._

_Isn't the alternative even scarier?_

_Sure I get lonely sometimes. That's hard. But I guess that's the price you pay for figuring out what you really want, right._

Brooke leant back against the wall and glanced round the church. It was a beautiful building, the stained glass was so special, she had been told once that every pane had a different saint in and she supposed it was true, there were a lot of people in the world who had done good. She stared up at the nearest one now, it was of a young woman dressed in a deep blue gown, she vaguely recognised it. She looked perfect, good, kind, caring, she would bet her company that this woman didn't lie about her son's parenthood, or had children out of wedlock no doubt.

"Kinda makes you feel guilty just lookin' at them doesn't it?" She turned round suddenly smiling.

"Karen, hi!"

"Hi honey," she came over and hugged Brooke. She was wearing a lovely cream dress and Brooke thought how graceful she looked, Karen broke away, "you look stunning Brooke Davis."

"I was gonna say the same thing to you! You look far too young to be a gr-" she bit her tongue, "you look far too young to be the same age as someone whose a grandmother for the second time today!"

Karen smiled at her, "that was quite a sentence, but thank you I think! How you doing?" She added touching Brooke's arm briefly.

"Oh i'm ok," Brooke said trying to smile, she bit her lip, she didn't think she could handle much more, she didn't deserve kindness from Karen, the one person who knew the truth about who she really was.

"Brooke-" the voice was kind and warm.

"Ok i'm not- I'm hurting Peyton every time I take a step forward with Lucas and i'm freaking out and making Lucas cross every time I take a mini step forward and then one massive step back with him. I- I just want everyone to be happy, like they used to be... But right now it seems impossible!"

"Oh don't I know it," Karen chuckled and took her hand, leading her over to the nearest pew. Jayden and Jamie had gotten bored of climbing and were now exploring the alter. Guests were starting to come in and Brooke took some deep breaths, she couldn't cry before the service, she'd just look weird. She sighed and ducked her head down to her knees, almost whispering;

"I just wish there was an easier way- I want what's best for my son, but I want-" she paused, it felt too selfish to say she wanted things for herself too.

Karen understood, "I get it Brooke, you love Jayden, anyone who looks at you can see that! You're a mother first but you have to remember- sometimes it's ok to let another side of you out- you can still take chances,you can still do things for yourself, you can still be selfish," she said it quietly but she squeezed Brooke's shoulder as though to enforce the point, "you can do all that _and_ be a good mother."

"I don't want Jayden hurt," she said firmly.

"Who says he'll get hurt?" Karen countered her and Brooke looked up surprised.

"Well-"

"Look I know Lucas has done some things in the past, some really bad things, and if I can say that as his mother- you know how much I know they hurt _you_. But Lucas seems to finally be stepping up and trying to be the man for you- we always knew he would one day honey, but you know he's a little slow sometimes!" Brooke tried to smile and wiped her eyes quickly, Karen carried on, passing her a tissue, "and Jayden doesn't know anything yet. But the older he gets, the more questions he's going to start asking."

Brooke snorted, "he already asks enough questions!" She swallowed, "and I don't know what to tell him," her raspy voice was quiet and Karen felt a wave of sympathy for the lovely girl who had become a lost woman, still lovely, but very alone.

"Let me help you Brooke, how can I help?"

"Tell me how to stop feeling guilty about everything!"

Karen laughed aloud, "that never stops honey- it's part of being a mom."

"I already hate that word, _mom, _ugggg," Brooke said sulkily but Karen knew she wasn't serious. "And what about Peyton-" Karen held up a hand.

"First of all- you need to heal the rift- and I mean the one with Lucas- Peyton is your best friend, there don't need to be any words- she understands- I guarantee it. But take some time with Lucas, see where it goes."

Brooke reached over and hugged her, "you know it's funny- but Haley said exactly the same thing to me yesterday and it got me in all kinds of trouble!"

Karen stroked her back and then pulled away, "if by trouble you mean Peyton I don't think you need to worry- i've got it covered," she said mysteriously.

"Covered?"

"The ceremony's about to start and we should go and sit down," she said twinkling at Brooke.

"No wait! You have gossip Miss Roe or Mrs Hargrove- or whatever!" She waved her confusion away in a very Brooke-ish style and Karen smiled, she was glad cheery old Brooke was still in there.

"Go have fun Miss Davis."

Brooke smiled at her and then clacked up the aisle to where Peyton was sitting. Lucas was on the other side of the aisle casting over long forlorn looks and Brooke rolled her eyes, he was so not subtle.

"Hey P Sawyer-" she said softly, "this seat taken?"

"By you of course," Peyton moved her bag and Brooke squeezed in past her. She turned and opened her mouth just as Peyton did;

"I'm sorry," they both said.

Peyton squeezed her hand and Brooke shook her head, "why are you sorry honey? It was me who needed to apologise."

"Brooke! For the love of christ-" Peyton paused and glanced upwards, "sorry" she whispered and then continued, "you don't need to be sorry- I told you it was ok and I completely over reacted- I was out of line."

"You have every right to react Peyton- I know it's too soon."

Peyton sighed and picked a thread on her dress, "maybe.. But I want you to be happy Brooke, with all my heart I want that- so, if Lucas makes you happy-" she got up to go and hold Gracie at the font with Haley and Nathan, "-don't hold back on account of me."

Brooke watched her go a mixture of sadness and something else, hope? She didn't quite know what that felt like any more. But before she could say anything else Lucas had dived across the aisle and was sitting a row behind her.

"Brooke," he whispered. She twisted round and her nose almost touched his- their faces were so close she could feel his breathing, almost taste him.

"Hey."

"You really do look sexy in that outfit," he said, his eyes alight with mischief. She bit her lip.

"You look pretty damn good yourself Mr Scott."

"I wish we were back on the beach, just you and me," he whispered in her ear, "no one else around, no problems, just us."

She ignored the nagging in her head screaming that it wasn't like that any more, it wasn't just the two of them, but then she remembered Karen's words, '**you can still do things for yourself.**' She knew this was only a band aid covering what they really needed to dig deeper into, what they really needed to talk about... But as she glanced back up the church to where Peyton was holding an angelic like Gracie over the water, with Jamie proudly holding a candle beside her, she knew that it didn't matter for now. She beamed as Haley and Nathan both held back tears of joy and Nathan kissed his wife's forehead, they really did offer up hope for the future.

_She's gotta be pregnant._

_Or in love._

_I'm going with pregnant. Please he's a Scott boy. Just look at one and snap you're... nevermind._

She turned back round to Lucas.

"You thinking what i'm thinking?" She said smirking. He leant back in fake horror;

"Brooke Davis, we're in a church!"

She stood up quickly and reached out a hand, "so?"

* * *

He followed her along the corridor towards the back room of the church. It felt like deja vu.

"I hate this room," he said sulkily.

She turned and faced him , "it isn't exactly my favourite place either," she took a breath. "I love my son, Lucas and I love my friends, my life, my choices, but sometimes, I feel so alone, so lost. And you- you make that go away, but I can't- I can't use that as the reason to be with you," his face fell.

"That's the only reason?"

"No Luke! You're not listening. There are other reasons I want to be with you of course there are! But i'm having difficulty trusting you-"

"Brooke-"

"I don't want people to know right now," she said firmly.

He looked at her in surprise, "what? Why?"

"My son doesn't need the drama- we're no way near steady and- and Peyton doesn't deserve anything in her face."

"But you're _afraid_ too-"

"Of course I am!" She said incredulously, "and you're not?"

"I am Brooke, I am. I know there are things we haven't said..." He trailed off.

"I've waited for a long time for you to say the right things to me, make me believe in things I never thought I would again. Make me want to say things I never thought I would..." She trailed off, he was looking at her wierdly, "what?" There was a silence and she said again, "Lucas what?!"

It felt like the silence went on forever. She could hear the congregation coughing outside, a bee in the room somewhere, cars outside, her own breathing. His blue eyes gazed into her brown ones. She swallowed. She'd said too much, freaked him out, she knew it was too much-

"You do love me don't you?" He asked quietly.

She swallowed hard. "I- I," she looked down at the floor, the heat from his eyes was too intense. She looked up again, fixing her eyes on the ceiling, "yeah...yeah I-" she paused, her voice hoarse, "I do love you Lu-"

Before she could finish he dived forward and kissed her. For a second she was taken aback but then responded passionately. Forget the rest of life- they were here now.

_Two people come together, and even if it's just for one night, they make us believe again._

**So yay, brucas kissing/flirting/fighting. I know I kept the peyton tension stuff up and i'm sorry about that, I just wanted it to be realistic- you know, it would take time for peyton to be ok. But don't worry, breyton are just fine now. Brucas love but also brucas drama to come- of course!**


	9. The Kids Don't Ever Understand Us

**A/N: Very sorry for the long delay guys! My laptop broke and I couldn't get this written. I'm so sorry! Please forgive!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or anything related to it.**

Brooke opened her eyes and realised she wasn't in her own bed, in fact she wasn't in any bed, she was on the floor. She shifted slightly and realised with a jolt that there was an arm thrown across her stomach. She ran her fingers up the arm, feeling the outline of the tattoo that was a part of their history. She smiled to herself, that had been a fun, crazy night. She had been such a reckless teenager and Lucas had loved that. He had been so different to her, so conscious of everything he did and the ramifications of his actions, she had never really done that. He had calmed a part of her, given her stillness in the storm. When everything felt like it might swallow her up all she had to do was think about those blue eyes looking at her with such love and care and she knew she'd make it through anything. She had grown so much both with and without him since that night. And then when Jayden had come along he had brought about so many changes and more craziness than she could ever have imagined- but in the best ways and even though 90 of the time she felt like she was living in a whirlwind she would never give him back, never change what had happened. And now it felt like a tiny bit of that stillness she had missed for so long was returning to her. Lucas was slowly making his way back into her life and she had to let him, that was the next step.

She could see her skirt flung over a chair and a shirt she knew well on the floor beside it and felt a tremor of delight as she remembered how quickly those clothes had come off, and what had come after that. She glanced lazily over to the wall where a clock was sitting and froze mid thought about reliving seeing Lucas topless, horrified, was that the time?! She scrambled up quickly, "Luke!" His arm dropped heavily and he grunted.

"Mmmm? What's wrong beautiful?" He muttered from the floor and she paused from throwing her top on to take in how gorgeous he looked all golden and sleepy, then shook herself, she had to get dressed.

He watched her sleepily, she was running round attempting to pull her skirt over her head and her top; "man you're kinda behaving crazy beautiful there," he said amused.

She let out a strange sound and hit him on the leg;"Luke it's past two, they're gonna be wondering where the hell we are!"

"Shit," he sat up straight and glanced round for his shirt. "Where's my shirt?" He got up as though to look for it but at the last second dived towards her and swept her up in a massive hug, twirling her round. She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling pure joy.

_I love you. You do love me don't you? Yes I do- I love you. I love you too, pretty girl. I love you._

The words span round and round in her head as he twirled her round. She knew that deep down she loved Lucas, she knew that even deeper down she had _**always**_ loved him, had always known he still loved her. It felt so good to say it out loud, so liberating after so long. She stroked the back of his head and then kissed his neck;

"Ok we have to go or Haley will totally have a coronary."

"Ahehe," he sniggered and lowered her down, "if we walk out together are you gonna hold my hand?"

"Are you really that needy baby?"

He fixed her with a serious look, and pulled her back towards him, "very much so." He kissed her softly and then pulled away to put his watch on.

She rolled her eyes, "you're worse than me." But she couldn't help but smile, she reached out her small hand when he was ready, "ok, let's go."

He stared at her lovely hand for a second, feeling a wave of emotion consume him, he couldn't speak, she was finally reaching out to him. He had thought about this moment, this one singular moment for the longest time. He decided not to ruin it by crying and slipped his hand into hers. They both stared at the joint connection, feeling the momentum behind such a simple gesture. Brooke took a deep breath and then looked up into his eyes, she felt shaky with excitement.

"You ready prettiness?"

She nodded, she was almost afraid to answer in case he disappeared or something. She twisted round to the table and grabbed her purse, gave the room a final scan for anything she might have left and then nodded again.

"Ok," her voice was hoarse and she cleared her throat, "i'm ready."

They stepped outside into the fresh air and she felt her happiness increase just standing in the sunshine with him. She turned to take him in in the day light; his shirt was creased and his hair was all over the place but she didn't care, distracting her completely was his smile, just for her, his eyes were only looking at her and she felt like she was the most beautiful person ever.

_Your smile, i've missed it._

"I think I might be too happy right now you know."

She smiled and squeezed his hand, "I know, i'm scared someone will come and slap me just for karmas sake."

He laughed aloud and kissed her hand, "you really are crazy. But I love it. I love you," he mouthed at the end. She smiled silently, god he kept rendering her mute with his own words, he was going to think she had no words of her own. She decided that she didn't mind right now and stopped thinking anything but blissful things.

They wandered through the church garden, tripping over each others feet giggling and out onto the front lawn. There was nobody around and Brooke bit her lip suddenly feeling guilty.

"Oh nooo, do you think they've gone already? Do you think Jayden went with them? Oh no- do you think they're at Nate and Haley's?"

"Take a breath Brooke!"

"But-"

"Jayden will be fine, he'll be with everybody else-"

"But I need to know-"

"Hold on i'll check right now," he reached for his cell and found his pocket was empty. "Ohhh crap it must have fallen out of my trousers when-" he paused and smirked at her and she smirked back, forgetting herself for a moment;

"Right after you seduced me in a church?"

"Hmm, I think it's debatable over who seduced who," he said grinning back.

"Don't you mean whom?" She could have bitten her tongue, Lucas was almost as bad as Haley when it came to grammar- now she was gonna look like such an idiot.

His eyes lit up and he said teasingly, "ahhh whom for which who?"

"You know," she faltered, "the first who..."

"The who should have been whom?"

"Ok Luke you're made your point, I should stick to drawing! So please, stop it you're confusing me!"

"Welcome to my world Miss Davis."

"Ohh stop being a martyr," she punched him lightly on the arm, "you have had a pretty good day Mr Scott."

"One of the best," he said softly before bending to kiss her lightly, just as they began to get more attached he reluctantly pulled away, "i'll be right back." He jogged back up the path and she watched him go. When he was clearly out of sight she let herself jump up and down for a few seconds, feeling the bubbles of excitement bursting out.

"Oh my god oh my god oh my god! Yaaay!" She span round and then suddenly realised her own cell was buzzing and immediately her parental concern flooded back, "hello? Hales?"

"No honey it's Millicent."

"Oh my god Millie hi!"

"Long time! How are you?"

"It's been like two days Millicent- you are so over dramatic."

"Oh yes, coming from the biggest drama queen ever- I mean do you remember that day with your-"

"Ok ok no need to go into that right now," she said quickly, "what's up Mills? Everything ok?"

"Oh my god you had sex!"

Brooke spluttered down the line, "excu- wha- how- what?" She took a breath, "ummm, I did?"

"You so did, your voice sounds all flustered and happy."

"So? I could sound like that anyway," she said stubbornly.

"Sweetie, your voice only ever sounds like that when you've had action. It's the same with every woman."

"Ok fine I did," she couldn't help herself from smiling, squinting embarrassedly in the sun.

"Oh my goodness hurray! Excellent news, was it with him?" Wow she really did cut to the chase.

"Why do you immediately think it was-"

"Ok honey we don't have time for all the arguments- we know who it was, we know why- are you happy?"

Brooke lowered her voice to a whisper even though there was nobody else around, "yeah, I really am Millie."

"That's great Brooke!"

"I know I know, but you know," she paused, she wanted to voice the fears that were slowly creeping back but she didn't know how to explain them, "I really do love him but you know..."

"I know honey, it's a big step. But you have loved this guy since, I dunno, you got naked in a hot tub with him?" Brooke snorted and Millicent continued, "look, don't feel like you have to rush into anything. You can take all the time in the world right now- you know he's always loved you right?"

"I think so..."

"Then this is your call, just trust yourself, you have you, you have Jayden, you have me." Millie's voice was full of concern and Brooke felt better just talking to her- however inarticulately. "Ok so i'm really sorry but I have to change the subject for like one minute. I totally had another reason for calling and that reason is your mother."

Brooke sighed and began tapping her foot irritably, it was a classic I hate Victoria and I hate talking about her even more pose and Millicent could see it without needing to be physically there.

"Look honey i'm sorry to bother you but she's making some bad waves here and I was wondering what you want me to do? I can't stop her making appointments and I know she's gone over your head with the deal with Macys." Brooke clenched her jaw, she did not need this right now, damn Victoria! "I mean she's messing around in your office and I can't keep her away and i'm panicking a bit, I mean she's driving me crazy-" she stopped, "sorry, I know she's you're mother but man the woman is insane!"

"Oh honey I agree."

Brooke thought fast, she felt like things were moving way too quickly everywhere she turned and she needed a base, she needed a port, someone who knew Jayden, who knew her- she needed Millicent here.

"Ok, how about you totally escape and come to Tree Hill for a bit?"

"Well- gosh that would be amazing but, where are you staying- I mean is there room?"

Brooke felt Luke's arm slink around her waist and felt dizzy, she couldn't think with him so close, "ok honey I have to go but get on the next flight here and we'll sort it when you're here."

"Are you sure? I feel like i'll be ambushing your holiday..."

"No i'm sure," Lucas began kissing her neck and she twisted to try and stop him, giggling. Instead he took advantage of her turning to face him and began to kiss her face, "look Millie," she sounded breathless, "I- I have to call you back..."

* * *

After a little while she pulled away, "you have to stop doing that for a little while."

His face filled with disappointment, "what- why? Are you ok?"

"No no i'm fine," she touched his arm to reassure him, "I just want to know if Jayden's ok and I need to concentrate on him for a while!" She didn't want to add that focusing on Jayden meant she could clear her head of other things... Other hot things... She shook herself again. "Jayden?"

"Is fine," he said smiling, he understood, "he's at Haley's but she's kind of curious as to where we are," he grinned, "I didn't tell her but I think she's guessed."

"Well we're not subtle! Or quiet-" he said sniggering.

"What?! Shut up!"

He laughed and swung his arm around her shoulder and manoeuvred her towards his car, "ok let's go see your boy."

_Have I told you how much I love you today?_

They sat in the car in silence and Brooke began fiddling with the radio, she needed something to keep her busy. Dammit why wasn't it switching on- oh crap now what? Has it fallen off, have I broken it- Lucas caught her fluttering hand and held it firmly.

"Relax," he said softly. She leant back against the head rest and closed her eyes, he was right, for once in her life she had to stop worrying. She squeezed his hand back;

"Sorry," she muttered.

"You don't need to be," he replied calmly, "i'm used to the craziness."

"Cheek!" She fell silent for a second and then turned, "hey do you know my favourite assistant is coming up for a few days?"

He chuckled, "you have a _favourite_? You have more than one?!"

"What? Yes of course I do! I run a massive company Luke- I need more than one assistant!"

"And does she know you're her favourite?" His voice was filled with teasing.

She fixed him with a look and then said with a straight face, "of course she does." She winked at him and then continued, "anyway she's being driven into the ground by my mother back in New York so I just suggested she come here for a bit."

"So that means you're staying for longer?" He tried to keep his voice steady and cool but he really wanted to know.

"Yeah," she took a breath, "I think I am. You know now i'm here I really wanna try-" she paused, she didn't want to say it out loud but he glanced at her quickly.

"You do?"

There was a silence, Brooke could practically hear her own heart beating. She knew this was what she wanted but suddenly taking that chance- so many people stood to get hurt from this-

"Stop it," he said warningly as they pulled up outside Nathan and Haley's.

She looked at him, puzzled, "stop what?"

"You're worrying again! Look-" he jumped out of the car and came round to her side, as he opened the door she swallowed hard, suddenly she was nervous. "Brooke, I love you. I love that you never stop worrying about your son, and I love that when you get worked up you still look _so _together and I love that there hasn't been a moment in the last five years when I haven't thought about you and felt instantly better. I love your heart, your mind, hell I love that you have a favourite assistant and that you've told her! I love-" she leant forward and broke him off with a kiss, when it ended she smiled and cupped his face;

"You're pretty good at those speeches Lucas Scott," she said softly.

"Well," he grinned, linking her hands with his, "I have to be on my toes when it comes to you and speeches, I always have about three in my head at one time."

"You're such a geek!"

"Hey I just like to be prepared!"

"I know," she kissed him again, "and I love you for it."

"Oh yeah?" He kinked an eyebrow, "what else do you love?"

"Hmmm," she pulled a face, dimpling at him, "I can't think of anything right now but i'll write something down for you later."

"Ahha you're funny pretty girl."

"I try," she said jumping out of the car, reluctantly letting go of his hand- there was no way she was walking into the Naley residence holding hands while her best friend was inside.

"Ok, so what's the deal here miss?" He said spinning to look at her as they walked up the path, "do I get to kiss you in public? Put my arm around you? Acknowledge that you're in a room?"

"Luke! I don't know the details just yet, just- work with me here pleeease?" She gave him her best puppy dog eyes and he rolled his own.

"Fine, but only for a little while, we've waited long enough as it is."

* * *

The door was open and they wondered through the house following the noise outside by the pool.

"Momma Momma!" Jayden came racing towards them and launched himself at his mother's legs.

"Heyy baby!" She picked him up and kissed his cheek twice, "what are you up to?" He was wet and she could feel him soaking her top but she didn't mind. Suddenly the rest of the world melted away and she wanted time with her son.

"Jamie showed me how to do jumps into the pool," he squirmed out of her arms and ran over to the side of the pool,

"Jayden be careful don't run where it's slippery!" She watched him fearfully, (and a little proudly) as he expertly handled the wet floor and then stopped at the edge.

"Look Momma!" He splashed into the water head first in a semi somersault and she felt a lump in her throat as he reappeared beaming, looking for her, seeking her approval, her praise. She knew that once, many years ago she had been the same with her parents, the difference was that she would never ever dream of letting Jayden go without confirmation that she was proud of him just as he was. She loved that he wanted to impress her, but she wanted him to know that he didn't have to fight for it the way she had tried to- she loved him whatever. She knew the day would come when she would sit him down and explain all that but at five he was far too young to understand what on earth she was talking about, he would only understand what she meant when she said I love you, and that was enough for her, as long as he always knew that.

"Alright super boy- well done! You wanna show me again?" She pulled him out of the water easily and he nodded.

"I can do a different one too, look-" he ran at the side again and she felt a surge of panic as instead of hitting the water he clipped the side with his foot.

"Jayden!" She shot over to the edge of the pool looking for him in the water, "Jayden!" He resurfaced with a pained look on his face.

"Owww! Momma?"

"I'm coming baby," she thanked whatever god was up there, as she kicked off her shoes quickly, that teaching him how to swim as soon as he was old enough was one of the first things she'd ever done. She jumped into the water and swam over to him, pulling him close, "you ok sweetie?"

"My foot hurts," he said sadly. She reached down in the water and pulled his foot up to examine it.

"Hmm, I think you'll live buddy- it's just a scratch."

"Cool you're in the pool in your clothes!" It was Jamie from the side looking down at her with excitement.

"Don't get any ideas Jamie!" She swam over to the side slowly, Jayden was leaning against her happily, he was safe now.

"Daddy look! Aunty Brooke's in the pool in her clothes!" Nathan appeared from the house and glanced over at the pool and let out a loud laugh.

"Now that is classic, Brooke stay there!" He dived back inside, "Haley! Haley where's the camera?!"

"It's in the hall in the bag I took to the church why?"

"Brooke decided to err- go for a swim!"

"So? People swim every day!"

"Not like this!".

Lucas, having heard Nathan jogged outside and grinned as he walked towards the pool, "well well Miss Davis, forget your swimsuit?"

"Shut up and please help me out!"

"I'm not helping move you till Nathan gets this on film."

"Luke!"

"Broooke..."

"Lucas Scott!"

Nathan reappeared beaming, "ok Brooke hold still."

"Nathan!"

The flash went off and both Scott brothers laughed, "guys stop it!"

"Here," Lucas offered her his hand and then at the last second pulled it away chuckling as Brooke slipped back into the water. She half glared half grinned at him as he smirked back.

"Luke come on- help me out!"

"Why are you being mean to my mom?" Jayden suddenly demanded crossly. Both Brooke and Lucas looked at him surprised. Jayden was missing the adult humour and all he saw was Lucas not helping his mom out of the pool.

"Oh no buddy he's just teasing."

"No he's not. I saw him in the church and you were cross with him and he wouldn't leave you alone, why doesn't he just go away Momma?"

"No baby it's ok," Brooke stroked his hair but as Lucas pulled him over the side first, before Brooke could get out, he had run inside. "Jayden!" Brooke watched him go and turned to look at Lucas desperately, "oh god, this is so not good."

He passed her a towel, "it's ok- go see him, see if he's ok. Tell him i'm sorry when he comes out," he shouted after her.

"Thanks," she padded through to the house, "but I think we'll be waiting a while," she added to herself, "he has your stubborn streak, his father's son through and through..." She continued muttering as she climbed the stairs, everything had been fine for what? An hour?

Coming through from the sitting room where she'd been sitting with Karen, Haley had stopped to pick one of Jamie's water pistols up- she'd been thinking exasperatedly that if she tripped over one more she was going to ban them from the house- she was forever telling him to leave them outside. She couldn't move for a second, instead she stood open mouthed in the cool dark hall. What on earth did that mean?"

**So again, very sorry for the delay! Hope it was all ok, drama obviously to come! I know I brought in Victoria but I do love the way she and Brooke have these issues- they answer so much about why Brooke's so vulnerable and feels like she needs to do things alone- more on that soon! And I know Millicent is different in this story but I hope she's ok like that- I really love her and Brooke's friendship on the show so I wanted it in the story, just a little different! Anyway, please do review if you enjoyed. **


	10. Wrapped Up In A Green Box

**A/N: So chapter 10, I am really loving writing this, lol i've stayed up really late to finish this chapter so I hope it's ok. Please do review- they make it worthwhile. (Not that writing it isn't worthwhile but you know what I mean!)**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned something- i'd keep James Lafferty in my room to smile at me all day long.**

Brooke knelt down next to the spare room door and tapped gently, "Jayden baby... you wanna talk yet?"

There was a long silence and she sighed and tried again, "look honey, I know you don't like Lucas, but that's ok. If you don't wanna talk to him you don't have to- you know i'll love you whatever you do or say. But you know, he wasn't being rude to me, just teasing me," she swallowed, "sometimes grown ups do that. And, and Lucas would never really mean to hurt me or you buddy- you don't have to like him but you do have to show him some respect- the way you show everybody else respect. So come on sweetie, you gonna let me in so we can talk properly?"

Finally, to her utter relief she heard the lock click and slowly Jayden opened the door. "Sorry Momma," he said sorrowfully, "I just didn't like him being mean to you."

She pulled him into a big hug, "I know baby- you're my guy, you protect me! But sometimes you don't have to worry, sometimes i'm ok and I want you to be happy not worrying about me!"

He pulled away and looked at her, "do you ever stop worrying about me?"

She chuckled and pulled him close again, "that is completely different! I worry about everything, but that's because i'm a mom and that's kinda what we do. But I want to worry about you and you know I am happiest when _you_ are what i'm thinking about, whatever i'm thinking, so you don't need to fret about me baby I promise."

"Ok. I love you Momma," he said quietly, twisting some of her hair round his finger.

"Oh I love you too Jayden Sawyer Davis." They sat on the landing for a long time and only broke apart when Jayden decided he wanted to go out and play again.

"Can I go play with Jamie again Momma?"

"Sure buddy, just be careful ok? No jumping too near the side this time!"

"Ok," he shouted as he leapt down the stairs, racing past Haley who was making her way up them with a pile of laundry.

"Hey! Slow down there little man!" She called after him smiling, he was such a good kid, she was completely in awe of how Brooke had raised him by herself. But now, now she had questions she had never thought to ask before. She reached the landing where Brooke was sitting in deep thought and sat down beside her.

"Hey girlie."

Brooke's head snapped up and she looked as though she'd completely forgotten where she was, "tutor mom hey! Sorry, I was in a totally different world."

Haley looked at her thoughtfully, she didn't even know where to start with the questions.

"Brooke-"

Suddenly Nathan appeared at the top of the stairs, "ladies, the boys wanna go the beach and i'm thinking it might be kind of nice, see the sunset etc," he grinned at them both, "you in?"

Haley sighed inwardly, she really wanted to talk to Brooke. But then she really didn't mind putting off what might be a pretty ugly interrogation with her friend and nodded, "yeah i'm in- is Grace asleep?"

"Yeah, Karen said she doesn't mind staying in- actually Brooke Karen said if you had a minute she needed to talk to you about something."

Brooke stood up and brushed her knees down, she was still wet and she looked down guiltily at the damp patch of carpet she'd left behind and then apologetically up at Haley, "sorry Hales."

"Ahh don't worry about it- Jamie does worse."

Brooke dimpled at her and squeezed her arm, "ok hon, i'll be downstairs."

Haley watched her go and then turned to Nathan, narrowing her eyes.

"What?" He asked confusedly, "what did I do?"

"What do you know about our Brooke and Jayden and the matter of his father?" She asked, tipping her head on one side and gazing at him suspiciously.

"Nothing," he said firmly.

"Nathan!" She took a step towards him and he backed into the spare room.

"Hales look I swear- I have my suspicions but that's it."

"What suspicions? And how come you never mentioned them?!"

"I- I," he swallowed and looked at his feet, "I made a promise that anything I knew or even anything I thought I knew was to be kept a secret."

"From me?!" She said incredulously, "you lied to me?!"

"Haley please- don't make this about us. This is about a dear friend of ours and shit she's been through and- and if _you_ knew what I did, or even what I think I know, things would have been very different for her."

"Nathan- what are you talking about?"

"You would have made her stay Hales- you would have made her stay in Tree Hill."

* * *

Brooke dug her feet into the sand and breathed in the sea air happily. Today had been pretty perfect. With the exception of Jayden getting cross with Lucas, but she was keeping that in the back of her mind. She knew it was there, like all her other doubts it was niggling at her thoughts whenever she dropped her guard. But she _so_ wanted to be happy, so wanted to forget that past pain. She wished she knew how to make Jayden like Lucas,-that was her main concern. She knew she couldn't rush him, he was like her in that if he was at all suspicious of someone he was willing to let them be guilty until proven innocent, and she supposed that way it was safer, but at five years old? She wanted him to let people in- not learn how to cut them out.

_Lucas is the one._

"Penny for your thoughts?" A voice came from behind her and she turned and smiled at Lucas.

"I was thinking about Jayden," she said softly.

"Ahh," he stepped forward to stand next to her, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, "of course."

"He's my son Luke- of course I think about him."

"I know, I didn't mean that- I just, I wish sometimes it was gonna be easier for us to do this."

"We'll find a way," she said raspily and for a second she reached across and caught one of his hands. He twisted his fingers round hers and his blue eyes searched hers.

"You're sure you wanna do this?"

"Why? Aren't you?" Her fears suddenly crowded in, flooding her with doubt, had he changed his mind?

But he chuckled and turned to her, "Brooke- i've been sure since.. forever. You're the one. I want this more than anything."

_She's the one._

Brooke smiled at him, "that's good to hear."

"Kinda feels good to say it you know."

For a second they smiled at one another, lost in each others eyes and then there was a shout.

"Momma momma!" Brooke dropped her hand from Lucas' like it was on fire and turned to where Jayden was shouting from.

"What's up baby?"

"Watch!" To her horror Jayden jumped from the top of a sand dune at least six feet high and then rolled onto the sand below.

"Jayden!" She raced across the beach but before she got there he was up and running round to climb it again. She caught his arm, "Jayden what on earth are you doing?!"

"Sand jumping! Jamie said he and Skillz do it all the time!" She watched wordlessly as Jamie dived off the next dune over and landed lightly on the sand below.

"Jayden I don't want you doing this- it's very dangerous."

"But i'm fine Momma!" He wriggled out of her grasp, "watch!"

"Jayden-" he leapt off the grassy edge again and she sighed, where had the dare devil streak come from?! She glanced over at Lucas who was watching with amusement and rolled her eyes, this had to come from her, there was no way Luke would do anything with such a high risk involved, he was far too level headed- it was one of the things she loved about him.

"Alright you guys," Haley was shouting from further up the beach, "enough fun- time for bed, let's go home."

"Ohh Momma! Can't we have five more minutes?" Jamie's voice was at its most wheedling, Brooke chuckled, she recognised the signs in her own relationship with Jayden, five more minutes, one more story, a mother's inability to say no. Haley tipped her head back;

"Argh ok you little monster, five more minutes, but not too far!" She laughed as he tore away and then padded across to Brooke. "Hey."

"Hey there." Haley couldn't help but notice how good Brooke looked. How happy and serene she looked, being home suited her. She should persuade her to do it more often.

She didn't know where to start, "everything ok with Karen?"

"Oh- yeah, she was just letting me know Peyton's gonna be out of town for a bit- on a mission for Karen."

"Yeah I know-" Haley sat down heavily, "Peyton told me earlier."

"Oh," Brooke felt slightly floored, she had thought she and Peyton were ok, but if she was talking to Haley-

"It's ok," Haley said softly, "you were still at the church, she said to tell you she'd call."

"Ok then," Brooke said nodding and turning to look out at the sea, biting her lip slightly.

"Brooke-" Haley started.

"Yeah tutor mom?"

"I kind of," she paused, man this was hard, "look ok i'll bite the bullet, I overheard something today and-"

"Oh my god i'm so sorry! I thought we were being so quiet!" Brooke suddenly flushed bright red and she covered her face with her hands quickly, Haley felt confused.

"What? No- it's umm about you and Lucas."

"Yeah? Oh god i'm so embarrassed! For you guys to have to hear us in church, Hales i'm _so_ sorry!"

"What?!" Haley stared at her completely shocked, Brooke froze.

"You weren't-" she cleared her throat, "you weren't talking about me and Lucas in church? _Having sex_?" She whispered.

"Eww no!" Haley stood up, "you didn't?! At my daughter's christening?!"

"Hales i'm sooo sorry, I thought that's what you were talking about, otherwise I never would have-"

"Never would have told me right?" Haley pushed her hair out of her face and then crossed her arms. Brooke gazed up at her, her brown eyes searching Haley's. "You never would have told me because you never tell me anything at all really do you?"

"Haley what are you talking about-"

"You couldn't trust me with _this_ Brooke?!" She began walking away, "god dammit in a church?!" She added.

"Haley-" Brooke stood up to follow her but Haley waved an arm and shook her head.

"Boys! Let's go, now!"

Brooke watched her go feeling completely shocked, what was she talking about? Not telling her what? Haley had been so ok about her and Lucas- so supportive even. Something niggled at the back of her brain... She couldn't put her finger on it...

"Momma!" Jayden dived into her arms, sand scattering into her face and chasing all thought away.

"Hey baby! You ready to go?"

"No!"

"Well too bad 'cos you gotta go anyway! But I promise we can come back tomorrow ok?"

"Mmm, ok!"

She carried him to the car, Lucas and Nathan were following, deep in conversation about Bear Creek and Ravens and Haley was up ahead, steely eyed and angry behind the wheel. As they got in the car Lucas shot Brooke a look and mouthed, "what's with her?"

But Brooke just shook her head and mouthed back, "later." He looked at her a moment longer frowning and then nodded, satisfied they'd talk later.

The car ride was silent with Jayden and Jamie worn out from their activities and Nathan and Lucas not daring to speak as Haley gripped the wheel like a vice and drove in silence. She pulled up outside Luke's house and stopped.

"Here you go Luke," she said firmly.

"Haley-" he started but she turned and gave him such a deadly glare he leapt out of the car like he was on fire. Brooke watched him helplessly as he looked through the window- his face a picture of confusion. As they pulled away he lifted his fingers in a call me gesture and hoped that she had seen. He shook his head as the car disappeared, weren't pregnancy hormones supposed to stop once the baby was born?!

* * *

At home Brooke carried an already sleeping Jayden up to the spare room and pulled his pjs on gently. He wasn't willing to brush his teeth and she wasn't in the mood to battle with him, instead she tucked him and kissed him, delaying the moment she had to go downstairs.

"Haley went out," Nathan said softly as she came into the living room.

"Out?" She tried to keep her voice light but he raised his eyebrows and she bit her lip- it was becoming a nervous habit she'd have to get rid of soon- she was running low on Vaseline.

"She's mad at us Davis."

"Why?"

"Well she's mad at me because I never told her about why you really left town and she's mad at you because you never told her either."

"But-" she floundered, "what do you mean why I really left? You know why I left-"

"Brooke come on! You know you didn't really go to New York for the fashion stuff," he waved his hands as though the fashion stuff was irrelevant and she felt indignant.

"I did! That 'fashion stuff' as you call it, changed my life, _saved_ my life even."

"You weren't looking to be saved Brooke, or you'd have come straight back home," he said flatly.

She was silent, he continued, "you were running- maybe you still are."

"You don't know anything Nathan, I am not running! I am here- to- to stay."

"Really? You're just gonna pick up your life and move it here? How does Jayden feel about that? And what about Lucas? One day you're gonna have to tell him?"

"Tell him what?" She said angrily.

"That he's-"

"I don't know what you think you know Nathan," she said cutting him off, "but you're wrong. I left Tree Hill for all the right reasons and it has been the best thing I could have done for my son."

"He's not just _your_ son Brooke."

"Stop it!"

"How much longer do you think you can live in that bubble where you think you're the only one that's suffered?"

"I'm not living in any bubble!" She felt completely cornered, she had to get out, she couldn't do this. She had trusted in Nathan- trusted that he had understood, _really_ understood. But now he was throwing it all in her face in completely the wrong way. She turned and headed for the front door.

"Brooke! Brooke where are you going?"

"Out!" She snapped before slamming the door behind her- it was the first time she'd ever left Jayden without ensuring he was fast asleep and happy. Not sitting at the top of the stairs watching his mother fight with someone.

_Lucas is the one for me._

Brooke knocked on Luke's door feeling very world weary. She was wishing now that she hadn't yelled at one of her only true friends. He'd been there for her when she'd needed him the most and she'd returned the favour by basically telling him to go to hell. Lucas opened the door, his eyes full of concern.

"Babe- what are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to see a friendly face, can I come in?"

"Of course," he said quickly, moving aside. His room was a mess and she smiled, she'd missed it, missed its smells, its Lucasness.

He directed her to a clothes covered chair and whipped away some tee shirts, "sorry about the mess- I haven't really cleared up."

"Oh no, don't worry about it," she smiled quickly, "it's just nice to be here."

"Brooke- did you have a fight with Haley?"

"What makes you say that?" She said sharply.

"Only the fact that when we were on the beach she was yelling at you and you were looking guilty as hell and then there was a silence filled with tension you could have cut with a knife in the car on the way back home," he shrugged, "doesn't take a genius."

"Urgh I know," she leant forward and dropped her head in her hands, "I kind of let it slip that you and I had sex in the church."

His eyes widened, "you did what?!"

"I know I know! I thought she was talking about one thing..." She trailed off, something had flashed through her brain, what was it? Nathan saying that Jayden wasn't just hers.. Oh god.. Oh god Haley knew. Haley hadn't heard her and Lucas, she had overheard her muttering this afternoon- and oh crap Haley must have thought all this time Brooke had been lying because, oh god would she tell Lucas? Her secret- her whole life.. Jayden...

"Brooke?" Lucas was looking at her strangely, "Brooke are you ok? You've gone completely ashen, here hold on, i'll get you a glass of water." He jumped up and disappeared.

She stood up and staggered slightly feeling dizzy, she fell into his dresser and everything piled on top of it fell with a clatter to the floor. "Oh crap!"

Lucas reappeared just as she was bending to pick the stuff up, "oh don't worry about all that- here sit and drink this-" but he stopped speaking as she slowly reached down and picked something up.

It was so unobtrusive, so ambivalent, to the eye it looked so innocent but to Brooke- Brooke knew exactly what it was. A tiny green box. She sat back on her heels, hardly breathing and slowly clicked back the clasp. There on a cushion of velvet was an engagement ring.. But it wasn't any engagement ring, she recognised it. Recognised it from a long time ago, when someone she loved had worn it- someone Peyton had loved very much.

She stood up, holding the box away from her body.

"Brooke-" Lucas didn't know what to say.

"Is this Peyton's Mom's ring?" He was silent. "Did you- did you use it Lucas?" He swallowed and looked up at her, his eyes burning and she felt her own fill with tears, "did you propose to Peyton?"


	11. The Worst Day Since Yesterday

**A/N: I wanted to say a big thankyou to everyone who is taking the time to review, 100! I was very excited, thanks guys.**

**Disclaimer: Still owning nothing, but in the words of a very dear friend, Nathan or Owen need to call me cos I am LOVING them.**

The silence stretched out between Lucas and Brooke as she waited for him to respond. She didn't really need him to reply, she knew the answer. She had known the second he couldn't reach her eyes, the moment her whole world shifted again. She could barely breathe, instead she focused on her shoes, they were pretty shoes and she had been so pleased when she'd bought them- now she felt stupid, frivolous. What the hell did it matter what shoes she wore if the one person she wore them for had fallen so far in her estimations? Herself. How could she have done this again?! How could she have been so stupid, so naive, so trusting? She should never have listened to anything he had said. Should never have believed that when he had _sworn_ there hadn't been a second where he hadn't missed her in the last five years- when he had so clearly had other plans.

She shook her head and dropped the box- it fell like a dead weight, "god I am so stupid," she said softly, looking up at him finally. His eyes were tortured as they met hers.

"Brooke-"

She held up a hand, "that is the last time you _ever_ say my name Lucas. We are _done_, finished. You lied to me over and over again and you-"

"You lied to me too!" He suddenly burst out angrily.

"Excuse me?!"

"About Keller," he said stubbornly. She stared at him incredulously, was he really saying those words?

"You think you can use that right now Lucas? That you have a valid argument? You have made a choice to lie to me since I came back to Tree Hill- _that_ is completely different. Since I came back-" her voice broke, she felt close to tears again, he had actually planned to spend his life with Peyton? She put a hand to her mouth and closed her eyes.

"Brooke," he said softly and moved to touch her but she pulled away as though he'd burnt her. She felt like maybe he had, her Lucas Scott scars were wide open once more. She let the tears fall down her cheeks silently and for a second felt paralysed by the emotions. Why was this affecting her so badly? She should have known better. But she knew the answer even before she'd properly asked the question. Because deep down she had spent every second in the last five years missing him, feeling sure that one day he would find a way back to her, and yet, here was proof that he hadn't been doing that, he had let her down again.

She took a deep breath and then wiped her face, slowly she raised her eyes and fixed them on his sadly, "I never lied to you about my feelings Lucas, I have always loved you, and I probably, regrettably some days, always will." He closed his own eyes briefly, why was she choosing now to tell him everything he'd ever dreamed of hearing?

Ignoring his own anguish she continued, she had to get through this,"you wanna know what I was doing in New York all those years? I was pretending I was having the best time while you were back living in- what was it you said- in the dirt? You really wanna know how I was doing? I was missing you." She shrugged, "every day I would wake up and think, maybe today i'll do something that will stop the ache in my heart, maybe today i'll forget that you're not with me. I would go home to my boy and I would be so happy to see him, but at the same time I knew what price I had paid to have him and would wish there was another way to make it better. But you never fought for me Lucas. If I had known you still wanted me I would have been on the first flight out-"

"But you never were," he said softly.

She stared at him for a second, he just didn't get it. She was afraid he never would. She loved him so much and she had given him a chance to live a _free_, successful life- to fulfil his dreams, but he had failed. And he had never come for her. He had _never_ come for her, never come to her door and proposed. Oh god, but he had proposed to Peyton- she had to get out of here.

"I have to go," she said quietly.

"No Brooke, we have to finish this."

"We already have," she said softly, before opening the door and closing it firmly behind her.

"Brooke!" He dived for the door but she was already running down the path, "Brooke!" He caught up with her and grabbed her arm, spinning her round to face him, god why was he choosing now to be the one time he ever chased her?! "Brooke we are _not_ done here."

"God get off me Lucas!"

"No!"

She hit out and caught his cheek, he winced but didn't let go. For a moment they struggled and a tiny part of her wanted to laugh at how ridiculous they must look, finally she wrenched herself free and her usually raspy mellow voice was full of anger, "you proposed to some one else Lucas! You never really wanted me back- you would have been happy to live your life without me in it for the rest of time! You wanna finish this? How about in five years I have been on maybe, three dates? And none of them were for longer than about an hour- but you! You asked someone else to marry you! Wait for me? Love me? Ha! I'd settle for you even showing me any damn respect at all!"

"It wasn't like that- I was lonely- I was-"

"Lonely!?" She took a step towards him and was suddenly inches from his face, "you haven't got the first clue about being lonely Lucas. Try living without the person you're in love with for as long as I have and then maybe give me a call, "she took a step backwards and raised her arms, "in fact don't bother, i'm sure in five years you'll have proposed to at least one more girl- probably someone with less sense than me who never sees what a shallow _bastard_ you really are."

And with those words she turned and marched across the street, fleeing the scene before he could see the tears falling down her face, and rushing into the night.

_What I wanted? I wanted you to fight for me! I wanted you to say there is no one else you could ever be with and that you would rather be alone than without me. I wanted the Lucas Scott from the beach that night, telling the world that he's the one for me._

_How was I supposed to know that?_

_You just are._

She felt completely alone, completely desolate. She had pushed Nathan and Haley away- the people who wanted to help her the most, she pushed Lucas away, god why had she even thought this time would be different? She was never going to be good enough for him. Every time she put herself out there she found he had discovered new ways to hurt and humiliate her.

* * *

To her surprise her feet had taken her all the way over to Tric and wearily she climber the steps up into the bar. It was busy for a Sunday night and she felt relief wash over her, here she was safe- nobody knew her here, nobody could repeatedly break her spirit. She sat down heavily on one of the empty bar stools and dropped her bag to the floor. She watched as couples on the dance floor span each other round happily, as friends danced in big groups together, everyone looked like they were having such a good time.

"What can I get you miss?" She turned back round startled;

"I'll get a-" she stopped mid sentence, wow this bar guy was _hot_. He was tall, nicely built, wearing a lot of black, with dark eyes that searched hers, waiting patiently for her to order. "Ahem," she felt flustered, "err, can I get a-" she found she had no words and he broke out into a wide smile.

"Ok- i'll come back in a minute, let you gather your thoughts," and with that he disappeared down the bar.

"Ohh yeah.. thanks," she said faintly. It felt weird, noticing someone attractive. Her broken heart was clearly not affecting her radar for hotness. She sighed and picked up the bar menu- ooh actually, now she thought about it she was kinda hungry...

"So you made the tough decision between a Martini or a Manhattan?" His voice was loaded with teasing and she found herself involuntarily smiling. She put the menu down and looked up, he was smirking, leaning against the bar looking insanely relaxed for someone who clearly spent a lot of time running up and down a bar.

She narrowed her eyes, "how about three shots of tequila, line 'em straight up and give me thirty seconds before bringing another round?"

He chuckled, "well alright then, but i'm thinking you might need a couple of minutes at least before attempting to do anything but gasp for air."

She smirked and leant forward, "try me."

He raised an eyebrow and then nodded before turning to reach for the tequila bottle, "three shots as requested miss-" he looked at her enquiringly. She considered him for a second, he was gorgeous, he knew it, he was interested- and she knew it. He wasn't the answer to her troubles but right now, she didn't want to think about her troubles, she wanted to get drunk and forget. Befriending the bar guy was as good a place to start.

"Davis, Brooke Davis," she reached a hand across the bar and he took it amused.

"Very formal introduction there Brooke Davis- i'm Owen and I run this joint."

"I'll be sure to tell the owner what excellent service I received from you then," she said tilting her head on one side and smiling lightly.

"You know the owner?" He sounded surprised, "I haven't see you around here."

"You haven't because I don't really live here any more, I just came back for-" she suddenly found the events of the day were swirling in front of her and she felt dizzy- flashes of Luke's face as he said he loved her- Peyton's hurt face in the church- Jayden looking up at her in the pool- Haley yelling at her- Lucas's eyes looking at hers with such sorrow- oh god.

"Brooke?" Owen was looking at her with concern on his face and she shook herself and tried to smile brightly.

"Sorry about that! I got to reminiscing about the old days when I was in high school and we put gigs on here.. A long time ago," she added softly." He nodded as though he understood.

"Life's a lot simpler when you're seventeen I guess."

She snorted, "I don't know about that," she didn't add anything else instead she raised the first of her shot glasses, "cheers bar boy."

"Cheers," he said softly. He was making her nervous the way he was watching her so thoughtfully, like he cared, it was a while since she'd felt such an immediate connection. Other than Lucas she'd never really hit it off with any guy, but hmm, he could be fun. She downed the next two and Owen obliging poured her three more.

"I'll be back to see how you're getting on in a bit," he said grinning suddenly, "don't go too far Brooke Davis."

"Oh I won't! Hey-" she leant forward and he took two steps backwards so that he could hear her, "could you leave the bottle handsome? I'm planning on some serious drinking here."

He laughed, "sure thing, knock yourself out."

"Thaaank you!" She sat back down and slipped slightly, "woops!" He watched her with a mix of amusement and concern, there was something so vulnerable, so heart breaking about this girl- yet she was so set on not showing it. Not a lot of girls managed to hook him straight away but the second she'd come in he'd noticed her- she was stunning and yet in some way, he could tell she was unavailable. He wondered if she was attached- there was no ring but what did that mean these days?

"Excuse me?" A shout from down the bar broke his thoughts and he headed towards his customers, leaving Brooke to her tequila.

* * *

"Oooooh," Brooke clutched her head and stood up slowly. It was past one and she was totally out of it. The room span and she closed her eyes- it made her feel no better. "Whhhy did I drink?!" She spoke aloud, but no-one answered, accentuating just how alone she felt.

"Leaving so soon Miss Davis?"

She turned round to face Owen who was standing behind a much emptier bar and beamed, "I could be persuaded to stay."

He pulled up a glass of water from behind the bar and she raised an eyebrow, "that's your incentive?" She shook her head and tutted, "not good bar boy- you need to work on that."

He chuckled, "it'll be kinder to your head in the long run, trust me."

She stumbled back to the bar and scowled, "I don't trust anyone," but she was thirsty and took the drink without further encouragement. He watched her amused and then leant forward.

"Brooke?"

"Mmm?" She couldn't help but lean forward herself, half closing her eyes.

"You want me to call you a cab?"

She stared up at him for a second what?! And then to her horror she began to cry. In an instant his teasing face was gone and he slid round the bar, "Brooke are you ok? You're not in any trouble are you?"

She couldn't reply instead she kept right on howling and so, giving up on trying to get her to talk Owen wrapped his arms around her and gave her the biggest hug she'd ever had. She leant against him, exhausted, letting the tears flow.

_Brooke, I never meant to hurt you._

_That doesn't really matter Lucas. Cause in the end it all hurts just the same._

Finally she managed to pull herself back together and straightened up, wiping her eyes. "God I am so sorry Owen, I don't know where that came from."

His face said he wasn't buying it and she couldn't think of what to say next- she felt fairly embarrassed to say the least- she'd just cried on a complete strangers very nice shirt.

"I get it all the time," he said easily, shrugging and sitting down on the nearest stool. "You sure you don't wanna bend my ear? They say bartenders are the unpaid shrinks."

She laughed, "I bet they do," she considered him for a second and then sighed and sat down next to him. "I think if I were to tell you the whole story it would take all night and I suspect even unpaid shrinks have their limits."

"Ha, yeah we do- why don't you give me the short version?"

"I'm in love with an idiot," she said shortly.

"All this over a guy?!" He rolled his eyes and shook his head, "look Brooke, any guy who's not trying to get you to marry him is a complete idiot in my book- and i've only known you three hours."

She looked up at him and bit her lip, man he was so hot, she leant forward slowly and to her complete surprise he leant back. She jerked up straight, her face flaming red.

"Sorry I just thought-"

"You'd be right to think it," he said softly, "but you are in no state to be making passes at anyone right now- especially when they're sober and attracted- i'd just be taking advantage Brooke." He stood up and offered her his hand, "if you can remember my name in the morning and you're still interested- look me up, i'm not going anywhere."

She took his hand feeling slightly unsettled but mollified by the fact that he had admitted he was interested- she wasn't hideous or unwanted by everyone, just one person.

_You were always what I wanted Brooke._

"I'm gonna call you a cab ok?"

"Ok," she said, her raspy voice shaky. He smiled at her and his eyes crinkled in such a lovely way- he really was easy to look at. They spent five minutes in a comfortable silence as they waited for her cab and as he opened the door for her he kissed her hand with a flourish.

"Don't forget me Brooke Davis," he said grinning.

"I don't think I could even if I tried," she said smirking back. He laughed and shut the door. Inside the cab she leant back feeling slightly better, she wasn't completely undesirable. Only one guy had utterly rejected her, completely denied her that chance of happiness she had truly thought was coming her way. She sighed and leant her head back against the comfy seat and closed her eyes. Why couldn't she forget about Lucas? Even when the cutest, nicest guy was busy talking to her there was always something in the back of her mind, an alarm going off that said "Lucas would be doing this differently," or "Lucas would look at me this way." The way Lucas made her feel was incomparable to any one else- he, she swallowed even as she thought it, he really was her soul mate. How did they find their way back from this? She had thought he had loved her and only her- but she had been wrong, he had chosen a life. What if she had never come back? Would a wedding invitation have come through the post? Would he have expected her to come and smile and be ok? God he was an ass. An ASS! An ass she was completely in love with.

She made her way up to the front door of Nathan and Haley's and realised suddenly through her half Lucas half alcohol induced misery that the front door was open and there were lights on in every window. Haley was standing in the hall talking to a police officer and Brooke's heart lurched.

"Brooke!" Haley dived forward.

"What Haley? What?!" She clutched her friend's arm, oh god-

"It's Jayden."

"What? What? Someone tell me-"

"We can't find him Brooke."

**Argh I know- drama but BIG promise- this IS a BRUCAS not a browen- he's just necessary. Plus I love Joe so any excuse to write him sounding all hot at all times is FUN. Hope you guys aren't too annoyed by his introduction, I know how some people feel about him, but I promise- drama and fun but NO browen ending!**


	12. Have To Find You

**I don't own anything.**

**No intro needed for this one I don't think. I am finding the Brucas so easy to write atm- which is why there is another update so soon!**

Brooke had to reach out and catch the nearest piece of furniture to stop herself from falling over and Nathan dived forward and helped steady her.

"It's ok Brooke, we'll find him," he said firmly.

"How long- how long has he been gone? I mean are you sure? Did you check every room?" She began to walk through the house, "maybe he's by the pool!" She said desperately, "or even you know, in the car?"

Nathan shook his head sadly, "we checked those places like an hour ago."

"You've known for over an hour and you didn't think to call me?!" She felt furious but Nathan looked confused.

"Brooke, we've left you like a thousand messages- I thought that was why you'd come home."

"No no!" She cried out, "no-one told me, god I should have been here!" She shook out the things in her bag and a hairbrush, gum and a diary fell out, papers spewed all over the hall floor, she finally found her phone and pulled it out. Sure enough her answer message sign was flashing at her and there were seven messages and nearly twenty missed calls. Guilt flooded her, her tiny boy was out there somewhere and she'd been busy getting drunk and not noticing her phone. She'd only ignored it because she'd been afraid Lucas might have tried to call but as she looked through the messages absent mindedly she noticed she didn't even have _**one**_ from him. And now Jayden was gone. She should have known he wasn't ok with Lucas this afternoon, but he'd seemed so content when he'd gone to bed, oh god, this was all her fault.

"Brooke-" Nathan broke her thoughts with a gentle hand touching her shoulder, "there's a cop who wants to talk to you- he wants a photograph as well."

"Oh god- it's that serious?" She felt close to tears but swallowed hard, she had to be strong to help find Jayden.

"Miss Davis, hello- i'm sorry to have to be the one to go through these details with you but could you tell me what your son was wearing when you last saw him this evening."

She stared at him blankly for a second and then swallowed, "yes err he has a basketball jersey on, it's err a Ravens one actually- it has Davis on the back," she paused and shook away tears. "I only bought it for him at Christmas. And blue and white shorts, oh god he's gonna be so cold. Here," she reached into her bag and pulled out her wallet, "this is a recent photograph of him.. in the park.." She dissolved into more tears.

The police man looked apologetic, "i'm sorry Miss Davis- is there anything you can think of that was out of the ordinary tonight? Nobody has been harassing you lately? Jayden hasn't been upset about something?"

"No- I mean, he's five so he gets upset about little things, he and I talked this afternoon- he doesn't really like a particular friend of mine and they crossed paths, oh god do you think he might have run away because of that?"

"We're not ruling anything out just yet Miss Davis, please try not to worry- he can't have got very far. You were lucky it was noticed so quickly."

"Yes," she said faintly before he nodded and turned away. Nathan directed her to a chair and pushed her gently into it.

"So who noticed?" She asked blankly.

He sighed, "I always check on Jamie right before I go to bed, when Hales came back we both checked and we noticed Jayden wasn't in your room. We checked Jamie's room and ours and then the rest of the house- that's when I called the cops."

"So you didn't check outside?" She clutched at a straw, maybe they'd just missed him- over looked him. Oh god what if he'd tried to go swimming- tried to swim but couldn't- oh god. "Oh god!" She jumped up and flew across the room.

"Brooke wait-"

She pulled back the slide door and raced over to the pool, clicking on the pool lights as she did so and felt both fresh disappointment that he wasn't any where to be seen and a wave of relief that he was not at the bottom of the pool. Nathan appeared beside her.

"We did check Brooke," he said softly, "I got Jamie up and asked him to give me all his hiding places, he's not in the house or out here- he's somewhere else."

"But where Nate?!" She burst into tears once more and he wrapped his arms around, he felt powerless to help. It was every parents worst fear come true and he could do nothing to help her through the anguish. Instead he made soothing noises, hoping they would help calm her down.

"Come on Brooke, it's warmer inside."

"No! If he's going to be out there cold, I should be too. In fact I want to go out- drive round all the places he might have gone to."

"Brooke you are in no state to drive."

Then you do it- please Nate, i've never asked you for much, but please do this for me- please!"

"Of course I will, we just need to let the police finish up and then you and me, we can drive round for as long as you like."

She rubbed her face, "ok, sorry Nate- i'm just-"

"It's ok Brooke, you really don't have to apologise, i'm the one who's sorry."

"For what?"

"I had no right to yell at you like that, what's your business is your business and- and I had no right to push you."

She smiled weakly, "water under the bridge Nate," wishing as she said it that they hadn't fought, then she wouldn't have left the house- left her baby alone.

* * *

"Hey," Haley appeared as they were turning to come in. Brooke's heart seized, was there news? She caught Nathan's arm tightly;

"What?"

She looked guilty, "sorry to raise the alarm- Peyton's on the phone."

"Oh," the same mix of relief and disappointment that was to become very familiar hit her and she loosened her grip of Nathan's arm. He had managed to hold his breath but as she headed inside he winced and looked down at the red finger nail marks she'd left behind. He figured he deserved that.

"Hello?"

"_Brooke?"_

"Yeah, hi P Sawyer."

"_Brooke, Haley called, i'm so sorry it took me so long to call back- I only just got the message, are you ok?"_

"Yeah," Brooke glanced at the clock and felt puzzled, "honey where are you calling from? It's like three in the morning here," god had it only been an hour since she'd got home?

"_Oh that's fine- i've been out, I had my cell on silent that's all."_

Brooke was too preoccupied to notice her friends evasive tone, "ok well, we don't have any news really, he's just out there, all alone P Sawyer, and I don't know what to do. I think this was my fault."

"_Honey there is no way that's the case- you are the best mom in the world and Jayden thinks the world of you. He loves you and he knows you love him. I'm sure he's just wondered off somewhere forgetting the time."_

"He's five Peyton! And I left him all alone."

"_No you didn't! You left him in the very capable hands of two of your closest friends- you are not a bad mom for needing some space."_

"But Nathan and I had been fighting-" something clicked in her brain, maybe he'd heard the fight... It _was_ her he was mad at. Ever since they'd got here she'd been different, distant, maybe... "Peyton I gotta call you back I think i've thought of something."

"_Well ok sweetie but make sure you call- i'll be up all night I promise. I love you B Davis."_

"I love you too P Sawyer," the words almost caught in her throat, she felt new tears well up. God she was a complete mess tonight, no wonder Jayden had run from her.

"Nathan," she said urgently as she hung up the phone, "I think i've had an idea."

* * *

She ran up the stairs to pull on a hoodie and some flat shoes and felt her heart stop as she caught sight of Jayden's tiny toy dog lying on the floor by the bed. Slowly she bent down and picked it up, kneeling to support herself. Suddenly the events of the evening hit her full on and for a second she couldn't breathe.

"Brooke?" Haley appeared at the door and her face changed form one of impatience to alarm, "Brooke!" She dived towards her friend who had begun crying almost hysterically clutching the tiny toy dog. "It's ok girly, it's gonna be ok- come on now," she stroked her friends hair and hugged her close. "You've gotta be strong remember? This is for your boy, we'll find him- Nathan said you'd even had an idea- there's still hope Brooke I promise."

"What if we don't find him? Or what if some horrible man finds him first?"

"No, no you can't think like that- he's gonna be fine, every thing's gonna be fine."

Brooke nodded, trying desperately to believe her. "Ok you're right, i'm not gonna give up ever. So let's go." Tenderly she put the toy dog in her bag and grabbed Jayden's pillow- she wanted to be able to smell him, have some tiny part of him with her during this terrifying ordeal.

They piled into the car, Jamie was wide awake, aware that there was major drama happening around him but excited at his friend's bravery for running away more than anything. Nathan pulled out of the drive and several police cars followed.

"You've told them what you told me?" He asked softly.

"Yeah," she was busy wrestling with the automatic windows, she didn't want to miss anything.

Nathan drove slowly through town, all of them had their heads practically leaning out of the windows before he turned onto the main road. Brooke bit her lip, god even if he'd gotten this far it was so dangerous, so cold. Her dark eyes searched the grass on the side of the road, looking for any clue of her child wondering around, lost and alone. Nathan's cell rang and Haley reached over the seat and took it from him.

"Yes?" There was a silence and she glanced at Brooke, "i'll ask. Brooke it's Lucas, he says is there anything he can do?"

Brooke suddenly felt angry, yes, she thought, he could bloody well get out here and look for Jayden with her. He could help, hell if he'd even bothered to make an effort with Jayden at all he might have even had a brain wave. He might have thought of some way to solve this for her, to find their son. But no, instead he was calling _Nathan's cell_?!

"Brooke?"

She realised she hadn't replied and looked apologetically at Haley, "sorry Hales, I can't really think right now, where is he?"

"He's at home I think," Haley said puzzled, "where else would he be?"

"Oh I don't know," she said angrily, "out looking for him? Checking every place in town he can think of? Setting up a search party with every one he knows? Filled with concern and driven by a desperate desire to find his-" crossly she dashed away tears and blindly she turned back to the window. She spoke up, "tell him to do what he wants, it's not his problem right?"

On the other end of the phone Lucas closed his eyes with regret, but it was his problem, didn't she see that? He loved her, and this was the thing most precious to her, he wanted to help her find Jayden, he had to swallow his pride about the issues from the past and help. _"Tell her i'll be by the phone all night- tell her to call if she needs anything."_

"Ok, I will, thanks Luke," Haley said sadly, why couldn't these two just work it out? It was clear Brooke needed Lucas more than ever right now and Lucas had _always_ needed Brooke, they were both just too damn stubborn to admit it. She put the cell in the side of the door and peered out in to the darkness.

* * *

"Brooke, we're getting further out of town," Nathan said gently, his voice filled with concern, "i'm not sure Jayden would have got this far?"

"It's the road to the airport," she said quietly.

He looked at her puzzled, "what?"

"I think he might try to go home, back to where it's normal, where _i'm _normal and his life is happy." She turned back to the window and leant her head against the door frame, "at least that's what I would have done," she added sadly.

"Brooke," he reached for her hand, "we're gonna find him."

"Oh god I hope so."

"You can't do this to yourself-"

"Stop the car!" Brooke suddenly shouted and pulled at the door, "Nathan stop the car!" He pulled the car over and watched as Brooke leapt out. He unfastened his seat belt to follow.

"Brooke!"

Brooke raced across the road and onto the muddy grass land. She could see him, she was sure she could see him. A flash of blonde in the headlights had caught her eye and now she was sure. Yes! She could see blue- she tripped over an unseen branch and fell with a thud.

"Oh jesus," she staggered up and continued over to the pile of blue and white clothes, "Jayden!"

It was her son, thank god it was him. But her relief was short lived, his eyes were closed and he looked deathly pale. "Jayden!" She shook him gently and then harder, "Jayden baby wake up!" He didn't move.

Police were jogging across the road with Nathan and Haley following closely behind. She looked up desperately, "move," Nathan ordered quickly and she shifted, not letting go of her son's hand but letting Nathan forward. He leant down and over Jayden's mouth.

"Oh god, oh god, please Nate is he-"

"He's breathing," he shouted as paramedics came running over and moving Brooke and Nathan firmly out of the way.

"Please, is he ok?" Brooke needed to know.

"We need to get him to the hospital right away, he's hypothermic. Pulse rate is-" they began talking quickly amongst themselves, pulling over a stretcher.

"Miss Davis, you'll need to come with us." Brooke followed with legs made of lead and one of the paramedics glanced over at her and then did a double take, "jesus has someone seen that cut?"

"What? No I don't care about me," she said waving him away as they climbed into the ambulance, "please- look after my son."

"Brooke we'll see you at the hospital," Nathan yelled, he had fought a passionate but short argument with the chief paramedic over travelling with Brooke, but had been shot down- immediate family only in a serious case. 'But i'm the boy's Uncle' he'd wanted to shout angrily. However the doors slammed shut and he, Haley and Jamie were left standing on the cold road.

_Nathan had always known. She had come to see him one day and explained that she was leaving. When he'd asked why she had shot him down, no questions she'd warned. But that had, of course, lead to more questions. Finally she'd sighed and told him that she was pregnant but unwanted. He'd felt confused. Was she dumb? Lucas was crazy in love with her. No, she'd corrected him, Lucas loved her but he wasn't in love with her. Nathan had argued back- he's conflicted! He never knows what he wants. But I do, Brooke had countered and I want my son to have the best life- not a life where his father doesn't really want his mother- I mean how much good has that done you growing up Nate? He'd had no answer to that but he had looked up at her sharply, have you told Lucas about the baby? She'd shaken her head, it's not Luke's. Liar he'd said quietly. Brooke Davis is talented at a lot of things but she's not a good liar. Leave it she'd warned softly. And then she'd kissed his cheek and hugged him hard, I hope i'll still see you Nathan Scott- your wife's kinda mad at me for leaving. He'd chuckled and nodded- she'll come around- I won't let you leave our lives Brooke Davis._

* * *

The hospital doors slammed back and Brooke tried to keep up with the paramedics who were pushing the trolley too fast for her. A doctor appeared and began talking with them- she kept hearing words like cardiac arrest and her own heart felt like it was stopping every other second.

"Could someone tell me-" her words were cut short by the doors into the main trauma room shutting in her face and a nurse appeared and took her arm.

"They're just finding out what needs to be done for your son," she said kindly, "can I get you anything?"

"No- thank you," she added before standing in front of the doors, "i'm not going anywhere," she muttered to herself. She was determined to stand there all night if that was necessary.

"Brooke!"

As she turned round to her utter amazement she saw Lucas jogging up to her.

"Luke?"

"I came as soon as Nathan rang-" he clutched her shoulders, "is he ok?"

"No he's not! Oh god Luke and it's all my fault!"

"Hey hey no it's not, hey," he tilted her chin so that she looked up into his eyes, "you are an amazing mom Brooke, you could never have predicted this."

"Yeah but now he's so frail and tiny and I made him run away! And now he's all alone and i'm alone here and i'm scared Lucas i'm so scared!" She couldn't stop the tears once more and Lucas, unable to find the words, pulled her close and hugged her tightly.

"It's ok Brooke," he said softly, "i'm here. You are not alone."


	13. Does The Truth Set You Free?

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. But I wish I could see this play out on screen with all the characters.**

_Brooke! I'm sorry! What you did with Chris... it's ok._

_It's not. It can't be. It's too much to forgive._

"Miss Davis?"

"Huh? Oh, what?" Brooke's eyes snapped open and she jumped up, "oh i'm sorry, yes?"

The nurse smiled kindly at the pretty young brunette in front of her, she looked like she'd been through hell and back; "your son is awake and he's asking for you." Brooke's worried face broke into a smile of relief.

"Oh thank god! Jayden's awake?|" The concerned expression returned, "is he.. Is he ok?"

"It was a little touch and go for a while but he should be absolutely fine. I'll let the doctor explain everything properly. But for now would you like to see him?"

"Oh yes please!" She turned to pick up her bag and noticed Lucas asleep on the chair beside her. She had completely forgotten he was there. She smiled wistfully, he looked so cute asleep. But the pain from the previous evening was still fresh in her mind and him showing up at the hospital had been lovely, but had not erased the big Peyton issue they needed to discuss once and for all. She touched him awkwardly on the arm, "Luke- Lucas," she whispered.

"Mmm?" His eyes opened slowly and as his brain caught up he remembered where they were and jumped up attentively, "what's going on?"

"Every thing's ok. I mean I think it is," she said softly, "i'm just gonna go with this nurse here and see Jay. Could you call Nathan and Hales for me please? Let them know we're ok?"

"Uh sure, they've probably stayed up anyway. Hey Brooke-" she turned from where she was walking down the corridor;

"Yeah?"

"You don't want me to come with you?"

She pulled an apologetic face and came back to stand in front of him, "look Lucas, I really appreciate what you did tonight, you know, coming to the hospital, staying with me. But-"

"But," he said exasperatedly, "there's always a but."

"Lucas, please." She looked up at him desperately, "I really, _really_ can't do this right now. I need to go and see my son, my child, who just hours ago was having surgery- this is not about you. Or us."

He sighed, "I could be there for you Brooke- haven't I proved that tonight?"

"Maybe," she gave the ghost of a smile, "but i'm kinda used to dealing with this stuff alone. I don't want to get used to doing it any other way. I'm gonna do this alone ok?"

With that she headed up the corridor wearily and Lucas watched her go helplessly. Was she ever going to let him in? Deep down he was afraid the answer was no. If only he'd been more like Keith and accepted that although Jayden wasn't his- he was still _Brooke's_ and that was all that mattered. Now he had nothing.

* * *

"Hi baby!" Brooke felt tears form in her eyes as she bent down to kiss her fragile boy's forehead.

"Momma?"

"Yeah it's me sweetie, "she stroked his face, "how are you feeling?"

"Mmm, tired."

"Oh I bet, you've had a really big night!" She settled on the bed beside him, gently pulling him close. He leant his head against her heavily.

"I' sorry Momma."

"For what baby?"

"For not staying in bed. I just wanted to go to our bed at home."

"Oh Jayden that's ok. It's ok. I get it- it's nice at home. But you have to promise me something sweetheart," he looked up at her, his blue eyes serious, "never _ever_ do anything like that again ok? You scared Momma very much when I couldn't find you."

"I'm sorry. And I promise I won't. Besides," he said sleepily, "it was too cold. I was scared you wouldn't find me."

"Are you kidding baby? I would never have stopped looking. But that doesn't mean this is ok. You are the most important thing in my life Jayden Sawyer Davis and I love you more than anything, but you can't run away every time you get upset." Something in that sentence stirred in her own heart, she had to stop running and face this head on. She felt like she could do anything now that Jayden was safe and with her.

"I know Momma. I won't do it again. I'll tell you first next time."

"Oh baby," she kissed the top of his head, "next time i'm coming with you."

Any upset Jayden had been feeling was dissipated by the idea of him and his mother going anywhere together and slowly he drifted off into a calm sleep. Brooke lay awake, not daring for a minute to close her eyes in case somehow he disappeared again. She stroked his hair thoughtfully. She didn't know what to do next. She wanted to give Jayden a sense of normality, a place where he could feel safe and ok. But she knew if she left Tree Hill now, she might never be able to come back, and she so wanted to fix her heart. She didn't want to be afraid any more, or alone.

A little after eight am Brooke heard her cell buzzing in her bag and carefully edged off the bed, gently laying Jayden on the pillow below.

It was Millicent's number, "hello?" She was whispering.

"_Brooke?! What's going on?! I just heard on the radio that Jayden went missing! Oh my god is he ok? Are you ok?"_

"Oh god Millie," hearing her assistant, a woman who had become such a good friend over the years, was like stepping into a warm bath. "You've missed a lot in twenty four hours."

"_I know! I'm in a cab in Tree Hill and the news was on. Is Jayden ok? Please tell me he's ok!"_

"He's gonna be fine- where are you headed?"

"_To the hospital! I'll be there in like twenty minutes. I gave Nathan and Haley's address but as soon as I heard the news I changed my mind. They're saying something about a kidnapping- what happened?"_

Brooke sighed, the media shouldn't have got their hands on this story- this was far too personal. "Every thing's fine Millie- he's gonna be ok. Right now though I need to you to totally crush that story. I don't want my friends waking up to that lie. My personal statement is that everyone is fine, everyone is ok and we would just like some privacy. Family is off limits, they all know that. God I bet this was Victoria's doing. How does she do these things so quickly?!"

"_She's the devil," _Millie dead panned_,"she crushes people's spirits for fun and then eats their souls."_

Brooke giggled, "nice Mills, real subtle. Look please just get here would you? I need New York people for a bit."

"_Tree Hill folk not as shiny and golden as you remember?"_ Millie's voice was full of teasing and Brooke smirked down the phone.

"No not exactly, now shut up and concentrate on the scenery."

"_Mmm fabulous, Tree Hill in the fall, it's really lovely."_

"Oh my god yeah! I completely forgot, it's the first of September today."

"_You know what that means,"_ her friend said softly.

"I do," she sighed loudly, "damn my life was simpler when I dressed dolls up for fun."

"_Oh did I miss something? I thought you still did that."_

"Ah ha you're funny Mills, and i'm hanging up now."

"_You know you love me."_

"Yeah yeah, you're so fired."

"_Old news hun, fourth time this year."_

Brooke closed her cell smiling. There was a knock at the door and she straightened up as a doctor came in.

"Hello Miss Davis- how are you this morning?"

"I'm ok, tired but ok, thank you."

"I'm Doctor Parker, I operated on your son last night-" he checked the file at the end of the bed and then glanced at Jayden's drip for a second, "hmmm."

"Is everything ok?" She asked nervously.

He turned and smiled at her briefly, "actually everything is looking very good right now. Your son is stable and recovering nicely. He had some trouble keeping a steady heartbeat last night but we're monitoring it closely." There was a pause, Brooke frowned nervously, "Miss Davis, does your family suffer from any known heart conditions?"

Brooke's own heart froze. She swallowed hard, oh god, "is there something wrong with my son's heart?"

"Like I said Miss Davis, we're keeping a very close eye on everything and right now, he is absolutely stable and should make a full recovery. But-"

"But he could be in danger of something else, oh god-"

"There's no need to panic Miss Davis, at your son's age there's a very good chance we can catch anything he has nice and early."

"So," she paused, "so if there was something he could have- you know, passed down, he could, he could have it?"

"There's a chance." The doctor looked at her with fatherly concern, she didn't look old enough to be dealing with this all alone, "is there something I should know?" His voice was gentle and Brooke bit her lip.

_Be careful. His heart's more fragile than you think._

Brooke looked at the floor instead of into his kindly eyes, "I genuinely don't know, believe me i'd tell you if there was. But- is there a test you can do to check he's ok?"

"We won't do anything right now Miss Davis, his body needs a day to recover, but I guarantee we'll be keeping an eye on him. Do you have any questions for me?"

"No," she shook her head quickly and then looked up smiling bravely, "thank you so much Doctor Parker, for everything you've done." She reached out and hugged him briefly, "I know that was probably inappropriate but you saved my son's life. You'll be getting all the free clothes your daughters could ever want for the rest of your life!"

He chuckled and nodded, "thank you Miss Davis, I was just doing my job and well- no offence intended but I certainly don't wish to see you running through my doors again any time soon."

She smiled, her dimples making her face look all the more pretty, "i'll try to remember that."

"You do that," he said smiling, before nodding and leaving the room.

Brooke turned back to the bed and tried not to think about the possibility of her son being any more hurt than he already was. Oh god if he had what Luke had-

"Brooke?" She span round and saw Nathan's unshaven face looking at her with concern. She ran to him suddenly and hugged him tightly, "heyyy, it's ok now Brooke, it's ok." She felt safe in her friend's warm arms.

"There's more to it than this Nate, and i'm so scared."

"What's going on?" He asked softly, his heart sinking, Brooke didn't need more pain and hurt.

There was knock at the door and a decidedly awkward looking Owen appeared, Brooke stared at him incredulously.

"Owen?"

"Heyy, Brooke Davis- I heard on the news-" he glanced from Brooke to Nathan and back to Brooke and she could see him drawing the wrong conclusion, "but you're ok, and i'm glad," he nodded, retreating out of the room, "i've come at a bad time- i'll just-"

"Owen wait-" she moved into the hallway and caught up with him, "come back here and let me introduce you."

"No Brooke it's fine really-"

"Owen shut up and come and meet my friend."

Nathan was sitting by Jayden's bedside adjusting the pillows and stood again as Owen followed Brooke back into the room.

"Owen, this is my son's godfather- Nathan Scott, he's married to one of my best friend's Haley James Scott- she should be here soon."

Owen grinned sheepishly, "sorry about that- I felt a bit awkward," he reached forward to shake Nathan's hand, "hey don't I know you? You come by Tric occasionally right?"

"Yeah, my mom's had a lot to do with the place- co owns it actually."

"You're Karen's son?"

"Oh no- the other one's, Deb."

"Ah that's cool," Owen produced a bunch of daisies from behind his back and handed them to Brooke, "I- I didn't know what else to bring."

"Wow thank you," she smiled up at him, "you really are proof chivalry's not dead."

"Hey I resent that," Nathan said grinning, feeling slightly confused. Who was this guy bringing the love of his brother's life flowers? He was surprised to realise that he actually felt strangely loyal to Lucas- even if the guy was an idiot sometimes. "So how do you two know each other? Not that it's any surprise to me to discover that barely two days back home and Brooke Davis has already befriended all the local bar staff but-"

Brooke blushed, "he doesn't mean that," she said quickly.

Owen chuckled and shrugged, "it works for me."

Brooke blushed even harder and concentrated on putting the flowers in the empty vase by Jayden's bed, reaching down to smooth his hair affectionately. Owen watched her impressed, she was a thousand miles away from the mess he'd seen only eight hours ago.

"Owen and I met, briefly, last night when I stopped by Tric to see how it was doing without my constant custom," Brooke said, digging Nathan in the ribs as she moved back to the guys, "_not_ while I was drinking myself under the table or anything like that, right Owen?"

He raised an eyebrow at her and she raised one back, challenging him to change her story, he grinned, "sure we did."

"Hellooo?" Millicent appeared at the door with a stack of files in one arm, a bunch of roses in the same hand and pulling a suitcase behind her.

"Millie!" Brooke broke away from making eyes at Owen and crashed into her friend, giving her a giant hug, "i'm so glad you're here!"

"Wow me too hun, how's he doing?" She dumped her files and her bag on the chair and span to survey the room, "oohhh bright and shiny Tree Hill people, hello." She moved past them and went straight over to Jayden, kissing his cheek and smoothing his already crease fee pillow. "Oh gosh he looks so pale." She turned back to Brooke, "what's the latest?"

"Yeah Brooke I was going to ask," Nathan started and she smiled at him reassuringly.

"Don't worry, i'm not thinking you're a bad godparent. I-"

"So you must be Nathan?" Millie interrupted and held out a hand.

"The infamous Millicent, how you doin?"

"Great thanks, except this one had me climbing the walls in a panic about our Jayden over there."

"We've already got a lot in common then," said Nathan grinning, he liked Millicent, she seemed loyal to Brooke and her tough, no nonsense New York attitude was always welcome in a town full of swooners like his brother.

"And you are?" Millicent said turning to appraise Owen, "apart from mighty fine?"

Owen felt hot under the collar, he wasn't expecting to meet all these people. He had been kind of hoping to just drop by, let Brooke know he was there for her and then leave; not meet the whole clan. "Err i'm Owen- I run the club Tric- i'm a bartender."

Millicent's face seemed to switch to understanding, "ahh of course you're here. All Brooke's 'friends' will have been notified."

"Hey!" Brooke objected, "I do not drink that much!"

"Honey, I think everyone in this room knows that just ain't the truth."

They all laughed and Brooke pouted and was about to argue back when another familiar figure appeared at the door.

"Brooke?"

"Karen!" The older lady embraced the younger one and stroked her hair briefly. Brooke was feeling better every second, her family was here.

"What's happening sweetie? I'm so sorry I couldn't come last night- Andy's away on business and I couldn't get Lily up, she's had this flu-"

"Don't worry about it, every thing's ok. Well, it's not but it will be, oh i'm so glad you're here." They pulled away but Karen took her girls hand and squeezed it gently.

"Has a doctor been in?" As she surveyed the room she stopped in surprise, "Owen?"

"Hi Miss Roe- I was just here to see Brooke."

"Oh," Karen looked confused, "I see."

Brooke felt suddenly uncomfortable, she didn't want Karen getting the wrong idea. Karen moved to Jayden's bedside and sat on the bed next to him. His eyes were slowly opening.

"Hey there little man, how you doin?"

"Hi Karen," he said groggily, "where's Momma?"

"I'm right here sweetie," Brooke forgot all awkwardness and moved to kiss her son, "how you feeling?"

"My chest hurts."

"It will for a little while baby, but i'll see if I can get a nurse to help with it ok? You just try and rest."

"You want me to read you a story?" Karen offered, "I bought your favourite."

Jayden's tired eyes lit up, "yes please."

* * *

Haley and Lucas climbed in the elevator, Jamie swinging on his mother's arm, the pram with Grace in taking up much of the available space. Lucas stared at the closing doors and leant against the wall, "I don't know why you're making me go Hales, she said she didn't want people- she wanted to do it alone."

"Lucas don't be a pie, everyone knows Brooke says one thing and sometimes means another- you of all people should because you're exactly the same."

He stared at her incredulously, "a pie?"

She grinned, "I don't wanna insult you properly in front of J-A-M-I-E."

"Momma why are you spelling my name?"

"You have such big ears Jamie Scott."

Lucas chuckled and followed them out into the corridor, maybe she was right maybe Brooke did want him there.

"Hey Brooke, I better go- I don't wanna intrude," Owen began but Brooke squeezed his arm.

"You're not intruding, thank you so much for coming, it really means a lot." Just as she said this the door opened and Haley and Lucas appeared, pram and Jamie in tow. Luke's laughing face died as he saw Brooke's hand on this guy's arm and he met her eyes. The room was full of people. He nodded slowly, everyone but him had been invited. Well, she was clearly making her point. His mother stood up from the bed sensing she might need to block Jayden from any sudden movements or large men falling his way and Brooke sensing the same thing held up a hand.

"Don't even start Luke, outside now."

He was glaring at her and opened the door forcefully before stalking down the corridor. Owen turned to the group;

"Let me guess? The guy she's in love with?"

Nathan sighed and patted him on the back, "some days."

"Nathan-" Haley began.

"I'm on it Hales," he muttered, before diving out of the room after them.

_We just have to trust each other this time._

* * *

"Lucas! Lucas slow down."

Lucas banged on the elevator commander and wished the doors would open, it wasn't fair of him to be mad at her but all logic was as good as gone and he was _pissed._

"Lucas!"

He turned to her as she reached him, "so who is he? This guy who has come so very quickly into our lives. This guy that's allowed in when I am not."

"Don't be stupid, I didn't tell him to come. He's just a friend!"

"Oh yeah and i'm what?"

"You're an emotional wreck right now Lucas and you and I can't do this while my son is here, have some respect for the situation."

"Right right," he nodded and moved towards the opening doors, "Respect Brooke? You have no idea what that word means! Everyone but me is allowed to see Jayden. Everyone but me is forgiven for anything they've done, but me, i'm not even allowed near him. It's not my fault the kid hates me! I should have know, you probably told him to so you'd have an excuse not to really give us a try. It's not like I should give a crap anyway. Why should I care right? I'm not the father. Hey, on that subject, why the hell isn't Chris Keller here doing his fatherly duties? Or does he not care either? You sure know how to pick them Brooke, I bet this new guy's just as good as Keller. Hell maybe he stick around long enough for you to tell him you love him then change your mind. Well whatever, I guess I just don't care any more."

It was too much for Brooke. The stress of the night before, the discovery of the ring, the fights with Nathan, Haley and finally Lucas and then Jayden, almost losing her mind with worry. Suddenly it all came together and she reacted, her hand struck his face with a resounding snap- and then kept on going. She was hitting his chest, his arms, his face, he tried moving away from her incredulously.

"You _**bastard**_! You absolute bastard! You don't care?!?! How dare you!? How dare you even be on the same floor as my son!"

"Brooke I-"

"You are so selfish- you think only of yourself!... This isn't about you!"

"Brooke, Brooke stop!" Nathan had run the last ten feet of hallway as he saw Brooke launch at Lucas and he caught her round the waist now, pulling her away. She broke out of his arms and launched at Lucas again who backed into the elevator.

"Chris Keller?!? You think I ever would have been stupid enough to get pregnant with- you idiot! You are such an idiot! Five years! Five damn years and you're still clueless, you-" she was blindly hitting him now, his hands were catching her wrists but unable to properly stop her.

"What the hell Brooke?! Stop!" He really didn't want to hurt her but she was hurting him. Reluctantly he pushed her against the elevator alarm and the doors jammed, the alarm one long piercing note over her insults.

"You utter piece of- urrggh you are dead to me Lucas! How dare you!?" Nathan pulled her out of he elevator and away from the doors.

"Brooke stop! Enough!

"You're crazy!" Lucas shouted from the finally closing doors.

"He's your _**son **_you jackass! YOURS! And he's a thousand times better than you'll ever be! My son has NO father! You shallow heartless creep!"

The doors closed on an absolutely frozen Lucas, crouching in the corner of the elevator and Brooke dropped into Nathan's arms, crying, in a heap on the floor.

_Well that's too bad, because I forgive you._

_You can't!_

_I just did. So you're gonna have to deal with it. I'm the guy for you Brooke Davis, and I know I hurt you the last time we were together, but.._

_I love you._

_I love you too... pretty girl._

**DUN DUN DUHHHH. Hehe, fun drama to come... I LOVED writing angry Brooke. So there's more of that! But obviously big brucas changes= brucas LOVE. Hope it was okk. Please do review if you liked it- and no Owen hate, he's not a problem for our brucas.**


	14. Growing Up With You

**A/N: Wow, I can't believe Lucas got so much defending- I'm glad you guys saw both sides. I love Brooke but I'm glad Lucas isn't totally seen as the bad guy. Just to clear up, apologies if it's confusing- Brooke knew who Jayden's father was of course, as does Karen. Now, obviously Nathan does, and Lucas lol but no-one else does. So Peyton and Jayden have yet to find out... Thank you guys soo much for the reviews- just as proof about how much impact they have- there was gonna be more angry Brooke in this chap but you guys sticking up for Lucas actually made me re-write parts. Not too much though seeing as Luke's an idiot. So weird that I can write a gazillion words for a chapter like this but I can't seem to write the last 2000 on my fun history essay...**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything.**

_Hey, come on, you can't cut me out of this. I'm just as worried as you are._

_Oh really? Or are you just worried that having a kid might deflate your market value?_

After what felt like a lifetime Nathan eased himself to standing and gently picked Brooke up, carrying her over the nearest set of chairs. She was eerily silent, tears falling down her dimpled cheeks without a sound. She was barely breathing and what he could hear was ragged. Her heart was thumping so hard against her ribcage she was terrified something might explode in there. She felt Nathan stroking her hair, heard him say something soothing, but she couldn't concentrate. How dare he say those things! He had left her, left her alone no less. What else was he expecting?! Still, she couldn't believe what she'd just done. Everything she'd planned- the apology, the explanation, the graceful behaviour... it was gone. She'd tried to convince herself she'd done the right thing for Jayden- keeping him happy and safe, away from Tree Hill and all of its ghosts. But all she'd really done was let them build up. She had stayed away from Tree Hill for all the wrong reasons, and now Jayden might never know his father. God running away had been so so dumb. And she was so angry now, angry at Lucas for what he'd said, hell even if Jayden _had_ been Keller's son, Lucas had no right to say those horrible things. But she was mainly angry at herself. Fresh tears clouded her vision and she clung to Nathan's arm to prevent herself from falling, literally and metaphorically.

Stupid stupid Lucas, stupid stupid girl.

"Brooke, do you want a drink?" She shook her head. "Something to eat? When did you last eat?" She shrugged, Nathan felt completely out of his depth, he was better at Sawyer angst- he just took the mick until she hit him and laughed, but this... "Do you want me to get Peyton? Haley?"

"I wanna be seventeen again," she whispered. Nathan sighed, he knew that feeling. He watched as the beautiful girl in front of him fell to pieces. She had been so strong up until now but this was the scary opposite. He was terrified of moving in case somehow he made it worse, or even broke her. But he needed help, there was no way they could stay like this- Jayden would be wondering where his mother was. With as little movement as possible he reached into his pocket and flicked his cell open, pressed 7 and held it still. Two seconds later he heard a voice down the hall;

"Nathan? Nathan I can't hear you hon. Hold on I think there might be bad signal-" he heard a pair of heels clicking and then, "oh my god, Nathan?" Karen had moved down the corridor waving her cell around and now stared, dumbstruck, by the sight of a tearstained, fragile looking Brooke, curled up in Nathan's arms. "Brooke?" She came forward and crouched down in front of the pair, pushing Brooke's hair out of her face to find her eyes. Brooke couldn't look at her; she didn't deserve those kind eyes looking at her in sympathy. She sniffed hard and closed her eyes tightly, wishing she didn't have to tell Karen anything.

"Come on Miss Davis, how about we go get a coffee? I know a good place." As though dealing with an upset child Karen manoeuvred Brooke to a standing position and shifted the girl's weight onto her own body.

Nathan was watching dubiously and she smiled softly, "it's ok Nate- could you maybe go and sit with Jayden for a little while? Brooke and I will be right back, we're just gonna have a few minutes break." Step by step she led Brooke to the elevator. But Brooke's feet froze and she couldn't move. She couldn't go in there. Karen seemed to silently understand and turned for the stairs.

"I hate small spaces too sweetie." They began walking down the stairs, Brooke stared straight ahead, she felt frozen in Karen's arms and the older woman worried about how cold her hands felt, how totally unresponsive she was. She steered her over to a corner table in the hospital cafeteria and sat her down gently. "Don't go anywhere," she said smiling, Brooke picked at the plastic tablecloth and nodded slowly. It seemed like she was somewhere a million miles away.

_I miss you Lucas._

* * *

The elevator doors opened and closed several times before Lucas had the strength to clamber out. He touched his face gingerly and wondered what kind of a state he must look like. It wasn't like he cared however-dammit, he was never using that word _ever_ again. He stumbled across to the gift shop and slapped a ten on the counter, "pack of twenty lights," he muttered. The assistant stared at him for a second and he held her gaze stubbornly, he wasn't going anywhere- no matter how scary his face looked. Finally she turned and passed him the packet and reached to collect his change. "Forget it," he said hoarsely, "put it in a charity box would you?"

He stepped out into the bright blustery day and blinked hard. Ouch, blinking hurt the whole left side of his face. Man Brooke sure knew how to make it count for such a tiny creature. Where did these girls learn to keep all this pent up frustration inside?! It just wasn't healthy; for them or for his bones. He was avoiding the massive announcement like Haley avoided clowns. It was spinning round and round and he felt like if he made it stop- his head might explode. He threw himself down on the nearest bench and lit a cigarette. He'd barely smoked as a teenager and even less as an adult but it had just seemed like the most logical thing to do. Something for his hands, his mind to concentrate on. He inhaled and then exhaled before spluttering extensively.

"Serves you right," a soft voice from above him spoke.

He squinted up and then felt a small smile form, taking another drag almost on purpose. "Really don't need a lecture right now Hales."

His best friend sat down beside him and sighed, "yeah I know Luke, sorry." She rested an elbow on the back of the bench and scrutinised his face, reaching out to touch one particularly ugly looking scratch, "wow you're gonna be black and blue for a month."

He scowled before pulling away and shrugged his hood up, "yeah I know, thanks."

She watched him for a second, underneath the anger he just looked like a scared and lost seventeen year old. "Nathan told me what happened Luke."

His frown deepened, "great, another reason for your husband to hate me. I'm a jackass who doesn't give a crap about his-" he trailed off and stared intently at a tuft of weeds poking up through the sidewalk cracks.

"I still can't believe it," she said softly.

"Welcome to my world," he said with a sardonic laugh.

Haley waited for a minute; she knew the brooding blonde beside her wasn't done talking. It was so weird to think that all this time, all these years, Brook had remained so stubbornly silent. _Brooke_, the talkative, unfailingly honest one, had kept this so quiet. She had kept this massive thing from Lucas. From all of them... But then Luke had had Peyton and Brooke had been alone... Lucas had changed his mind one too many times for Brooke to handle. It was difficult to side with either of them on this. If anything she understood Brooke's decision more- purely because she knew how Lucas had felt growing up seeing his father with someone else- openly rejecting him. Lucas had let Brooke so deeply down.

"You think I'm an ass right?" He interrupted her thoughts and she turned to look at him thoughtfully.

"I think maybe you could have found some better words. From what Nathan told me- I mean you were angry-"

"Yeah and I insulted her so bad Hales. There's no excuse for what I said."

"Nathan only heard the stuff about her and Keller."

"I said worse than that," he said darkly.

"Lucas, whatever you said- you didn't know-"

"Yeah well I still don't know," he said angrily jumping up, "I mean hell, I don't know _anything_ Haley. I've been in the dark for five years." He sat back down and dropped his head between his hands, "I've been without her for five years... Now I won't ever have her... Won't ever have them," he added sadly.

Haley rubbed his back gently, "don't say that Lucas, you don't know what the future holds."

"I do Hales- I know what it holds for me and Brooke. Her running back to New York and never coming back."

"Then you go after her this time."

"It's not that simple Haley."

"Ok," her voice was full of disbelief.

"It's not!"

"It is if you love her Lucas. And this new development- well certainly something has to be done."

He was silent. Of all the ways he could have imagined losing Brooke forever, this had been no way near the list.

_Brooke, I'm sorry._

_Yeah, me too._

* * *

"Ok sweetie I got you a black coffee- figured you won't have had much sleep." Brooke smiled faintly up at her in thanks and took a sip. Karen watched her thoughtfully for a minute and then spoke. "Look honey, I don't want to interfere but are you in some kind of trouble?"

Brooke's eyes filled with tears and she shook her head quickly. Karen reached across the table and took her hand, holding it tightly. "Brooke," she began softly, "I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and I know one of them was never knowing when to let the people who loved me help me when I needed it most. I promise you, whatever it is, we can fix this."

Slowly Brooke looked up at her, she bit her lip for a second and then sighed, "I told Lucas- about, well about Jay."

"Oh," Karen sat back on her chair incredulously, "well honey if that's all then where's-"

"No! I mean... I didn't tell him for the right reasons in any way, shape or form. He left that room and I knew exactly what he was thinking and then when he clarified that, it just made it so much worse that he would think that of me. And then he said some awful things, about Jayden," her eyes filled with tears again, "and I just- I just wanted to make him understand why I was so angry, I mean- why has he never once questioned me about it all? Has he never wondered?! Has he never sat down and done the math? Did he ever even love me at all? I wanted to protect Jayden from ever feeling rejection but really," she swallowed, "I was just running away from my own rejection and then he just did it all over again."

"Oh Brooke, is that what you think? Lucas never rejected you- he and Peyton were a high school mistake, you know that." Karen smiled kindly and leant forward, "I love you both like you were my own, but I know Lucas only loves one of you with his whole soul. He and Peyton are over and Peyton- well she's ok. And Lucas- he's never known more clearly who he wants."

"Oh so proposing to Peyton was a clear choice?!"

Karen was shocked, why was her son such an idiot sometimes?! "That is something you need to talk to him about I agree, but Jayden is so much more important right now. Aren't you at least relieved it's finally out in the open?"

Brooke shook her head, "no. I did it all so wrong. I yelled at him and I just know, he'll never want to have anything to do with us and- and now I've ruined Jayden's chance at ever knowing his father." She dissolved into tears again and dropped her head into her arms. Karen reached across the table and stroked her hair.

"Brooke, this isn't like you. You're giving up?"

"I can't keep fighting like this," she whispered.

"Well then- don't. Fix it once and for all. Don't be alone for the rest of your life, trust yourself and trust Lucas."

"But what he said-"

"Oh Brooke," Karen half smiled, "let it go honey. If you want him to let go of what you've lied to him about- you have to give him a little grace here."

"Yeah, yeah I know." Brooke swirled her cup round and round, "I just don't know if I want to be with- with someone who can break my heart this badly."

"Maybe it's painful now, but you really wanna spend the whole of your life without knowing? Go find out whether you can Brooke. Apologise, tell Lucas how you really feel, then see where you are."

* * *

"Hey, Hales, you got the time?"

"What do you need the time for?"

"Just so I know what time to put in my book as the worst time of day ever."

"Oh Lucas stop it."

_So you lied to me to punish me?! How could you do that?_

"She lied to me Haley. The one thing she's never done. And you know what that means? It means she never planned on telling me, never planned on me being in her life at all- otherwise..."

"Otherwise what Luke?"

He fixed his blue eyes on hers, "otherwise why didn't she say anything?"

"You started dating Peyton Luke; she wouldn't have wanted to break her friend's heart."

"But what about mine?!" He stood angrily, "she _knew_ I loved her."

"Actually Lucas, I don't think she did. And I don't blame her- and neither should you." He scowled and threw himself back down next to her like a petulant child, she rolled her eyes. "Look Lucas, you have been doing this dance with Brooke for so long but you know the one thing that keeps happening?"

"What?"

"You somehow always manage to find your way back to each other."

"Yeah well that was before- now, I don't know."

Haley stood up and faced her friend, the wind whipped her hair into her face again and she dashed it away impatiently. "Dammit! Lucas stop being such a stubborn _idiot_ and-" she stopped speaking as Luke's face froze. Had she gone too far? Behind her she heard footsteps and watched as Lucas stood silently and moved past her. She turned in surprise to see Brooke standing, wrapped in a black shawl and annoyingly beautiful for one who had had about three hours sleep, looking up at Lucas nervously.

"I'm err- I'm gonna go back upstairs," she said to no-one in particular.

Lucas shoved his hands deep in his pockets and gazed at the girl in front of him. The girl he'd do anything for, walk through fire, climb mountains, swim oceans, give up anything. The girl who he knew, was about to break his heart- say she never wanted to see him again, say she hated him and what he'd done to her, that-

"I'm sorry," the raspy voice spoke two words he wasn't expecting. He stared at her incredulously.

"What?"

"I'm sorry Lucas. That's all. You can hate me for not telling you- you're entitled to I suppose. But you should know that I am truly, deeply, sincerely sorry for that. It's just- you had just told me about your feelings for Peyton and I was already feeling so vulnerable, it was like you had just confirmed everything I'd _ever_ been afraid of! And all that time in New York, you never once came looking for me and Jayden" he opened his mouth to object but she held up a hand to stop him, "and that just made me even more sure I was doing the right thing for my son. And then since I've been back you and I have been headed somewhere and then- you went and broke my heart all over again!"

"Brooke-"

"Luke, you proposed to somebody else. Tell me something," she took a breath, she was afraid to ask this, but she had to know- "were you planning on spending the rest of your life with her?"

There was a silence and Lucas pushed his hood down, running his hands through his hair. She felt immediately guilty about the bruises on his face."Brooke I had no idea you were ever going to be back."

"But would you have married her?" She knew she was pushing, but she needed to know.

He sighed and met her eyes intently, "what do you think Brooke? Do you really believe I could have married anyone that wasn't you? Watched anybody but you walk up that aisle to me? Make anyone Mrs Scott but you? Spent every day with someone who knew Travis was a band not a person? You think I could have lived with somebody who actually ran? Someone who wasn't you would never have been good enough, never have been right for me." She swallowed, even in this strange angry context it was one of the most romantic things he'd ever said to her, and he was pretty good at those speeches...

He shook his head now and looked away, "but would you have tried to stop me if maybe I'd thought about it? I mean you keep asking me what my life plans were but if Grace hadn't been born would you even have come home?"

She began walking away from him, "that's not fair Lucas."

He stalked after her, "wait a minute Brooke," he caught her arm, "Brooke!" He span her round to face him and shook his head, "you can play that card but I can't?"

"You still think I'm playing Lucas?! People are getting hurt- my son-"

His eyes suddenly flashed and he tightened his grip on her arm, "_**my**_ son too."

There was a long silence as she stared up at him; she had no idea what to say next. Those romantic speeches didn't come so easily to her. She pulled her sleeves over her arms and wished there was an easier way to do this.

Lucas spoke instead, "so it _is_ true?" He dropped his arms and paced away from her, kicking at the nearest plant, before coming back towards her. For the first time she actually felt afraid, he looked so angry, "so let me get this straight. You had _my_ child, lied to me about it and then took him hundreds of miles away so that he could grow up hating me? DAMMIT BROOKE!"

She flinched, "Lucas-"

"No no," he held a hand up, "you have held the self righteous card for so long- it was all _my_ fault we broke up because I had stupid feelings for Peyton. I was always the bad guy and you know, I kinda let that happen because I felt like an absolute ass most of the time. But this? This is bigger than me and Peyton or you and me, this is my **_child_**! Our child, our baby- yours and mine. No-one elses. And you- you kept him from me!"

There was a long silence, finally Brooke cleared her throat. She pushed back her long hair and he wanted nothing more than to do it for her, but he just couldn't bring himself to touch her yet.

"You're right Lucas, I shouldn't have ever said what I said. I had no right to take Jayden away. But you know more than _anyone_ what it's like to grow up with no father- watching him with another family even. Or worse, growing up with a father but always wondering whether he wouldn't rather be over at his- his other woman's place." He sighed inwardly, she had a point, he really hadn't learnt from Keith. He should have been there no matter what. But-

"But_ I_ never had the chance to choose," he said plaintively.

She sighed, "don't you get it Luke? You shouldn't have felt like you needed to make a choice. It should have been the simplest thing in the world, not some complicated love triangle all over again."

"You forgave Peyton," he said stubbornly.

"Yeah you're right, but I needed _someone_ and you- you promised you would love me forever and then changed your mind- didn't give me much faith for the future."

His face fell, he looked so full of regret, so full of anguish, she sighed, "please Lucas- don't look like you even care."

He squinted at her, "figured that word would be taboo right now."

"It's burned in my brain, trust me," she said sadly.

"Brooke," he took a step towards her, "this wasn't just your choice to make. You should have given me the choice as well- this is... This is bad Brooke." He needed her to say it wasn't, to say it was ok, that somehow this wasn't broken. That he wouldn't be alone again without her...

"I know," she said softly, her eyes filled with tears, she really had lost him. "You're right and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Lucas. I've ruined this, I know. But you said nothing would ever come between us, so I guess you lied to me too Luke. But even past that I love you Lucas and believe me I _always_ have. But I love my son and I would do anything for him, so if I judged this wrong I'm sorry but-"

He broke her off suddenly by stepping forward and kissing her so passionately she was literally swept off her feet. He didn't need to know anymore, he didn't need her to say anything else. He didn't need her to be sorry or remorseful, he just needed her to love him like he loved her. He needed her to love him enough to come out here and apologise- even if he had been equally in the wrong. Now it was his turn to apologise. Slowly, he broke away. Her eyes fluttered open and he could see a million questions forming.

"I love you Brooke Davis, and I'm sorry I made you doubt it. I'm sorry I yelled at you, sorry I never came for you. Sorry I ever thought Peyton could take your place in my heart. Sorry I even let you get away for so long." He stroked her face softly with his thumb and kissed her again. "But I'm here now and I'm gonna be here for- for _our_ son. And I love you, more than anything. "

_You'll be ok. People who are meant to be together always find their way in the end._


	15. My Version Of Family

**A/N: I love writing this story! I really struggled with this chapter though cos I don't wanna rush the brucas but I want them together. So please don't frustrated with the one step forward two steps back stuff within the chapter I PROMISE they're gonna get there and that the brucas pay off will be worth it :D as ever please do review if you liked/ disliked. I've been really fortunate that everyone has always had constructive and positive things to say- I'm really appreciative!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything but I do have some ideas so... here they are.**

_So do I get to be part of this world?_

_The biggest part._

Brooke's fingers were frozen and she shifted on the bench next to Lucas. They had been sitting in silence next to one another- it wasn't an awkward silence but it was not yet a companiable one. Brooke felt like there was still too much to be said. Lucas felt her fidgeting and turned to look at her.

"You ok?"

She sighed and pushed her hair back, "I'm trying to wrap my head around everything Luke I really am but... This scare me. You, me, Peyton. It's so messed up."

"I know, I know." Slowly he reached down and took her hand gently, "but I'm in this- I am in this a thousand per cent Brooke- and I love you. Do you wanna do this?"

She looked down at their entwined hands and then up into his eyes uncertainly, "I do Luke but-"

He broke off her sentence with a kiss and then pulled away, "that's all I need to hear Brooke. And what about you- what do you need from me?"

Brooke cleared her throat. Deep down she didn't know what she needed to feel secure. Lucas watched her for a moment and then squeezed her hand, "it's ok. We can do this later. Let's go see Jayden."

The room had cleared when Brooke and Lucas made their way back upstairs. Owen had left murmuring about deliveries, Millicent had joined him on the pretence of getting a lift but actually admiring him from behind. Nathan and Haley had taken Jamie and Grace to the park round the back of the hospital- neither had wanted to stray too far in case either of their friends needed them. Only Karen was sitting next to her grandson's bed, watching his chest slowly rise and fall.

She stood as they entered, "is everything ok?"

Brooke smiled hesitantly, "we're ok." Lucas squeezed her hand and moved to hug his mother. She held him tightly and then pulled back.

"You ok?"

"Yeah mom- you knew?" There was a beat as he looked down into his mother's eyes.

"I was a confidante Luke yes, but I-"

"It's ok mom," he said quickly, "we're ok. We got a lot to figure out though." She nodded understandingly.

"You wanna ask me anything?"

"Am I still allowed to be best man at the wedding?"

She laughed aloud, "oh of course honey. You know no matter what happens you're still my boy."

Brooke smiled to herself as she recognised the words she said to her own son so much. Karen came over to the young brunette now and hugged her tightly.

"You'll call me later with an update?"

"I will. Karen-"

"Yes sweetie?"

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

"For what Brooke? I was just doing my job- I love you both so much."

Brooke smiled up at her, "still- thank you." Karen squeezed her arm gently and then headed out of the room. Brooke quickly wiped some tears away and tried to smile once more. Lucas closed the door softly and then looked over at her. It was amazing that even after all this time she still made his heart race a thousand times a minute. He came over and stood next to her by the bed, carefully finding her hand once more.

"Wow," he said quietly, "I can't believe this is _really_ our boy."

"Yeah," her raspy voice was filled with emotion, "he really is."

He sat down on the nearest chair and pulled her onto his lap, "you ok beautiful?"

"I'm ok," she touched his face, "but we still need to talk Luke."

He sighed and nodded, "ok. Let's do this."

She started with the most important, nagging thought. "I want Jayden to know." Her son was more important than any love triangle.

He swallowed hard. Even after all the anger and the confessions he still felt a niggle of doubt. Was he ready to be a father?

She pulled a face, "you're not sure are you?"

"No no it's not that-"

She held up a hand, "it's ok Luke. Look, I want Jayden to know the truth. I never told him because I felt like once he knew he'd be growing up thinking you were the bad guy. He would think that he wasn't wanted and because I didn't know what your feelings were on any of it I wouldn't have been able to tell him either way. I want my son- our son, to feel nothing but loved and secure for his whole life. I know too well how much it hurts growing up unwanted, being rejected," her voice was quiet and he felt his heart turn over with regret for her. He hated that she'd ever doubted him. He moved to speak but she continued, "I understand, although not completely cause Jayden is the most perfect thing you and I have ever done and not wanting to be in his life is unimaginable to me but still, I get it if this is gonna be too much."

"Brooke-"

"And we can do baby steps I mean I know you think Jayden hates you but he doesn't. I swear he doesn't Luke. And if you could just let me talk to him I know he'd be willing to behave and you don't even have to start off with crazy Darth Vader I'm your father stuff I mean-"

"Brooke!" She stopped speaking and looked at him uncertainly; he smiled at her, his blue eyes warm. "I _do_ want Jayden to know. I wanna be there for him growing up and I definitely want to prevent him from developing his mother's habit of rabbiting on before I've had a chance to speak," she pouted and he grinned, "I want that. I wanna be in yours and Jayden's life completely." She almost kissed him but his face fell; "It's just-"

"What?" Her voice was barely a whisper, she was so nervous about what he was going to say, crushing all her new hope.

"What if I'm bad at being a father?"

It was the most vulnerable she'd ever seen him and the cutest thing he'd ever said. Wordlessly she leant across and kissed him softly. She pulled away and looked into his eyes, holding his face.

"You won't be bad Lucas Scott."

"But how do you know?"

"Because you just showed so much concern for wanting to get it right! You know what a bad father is and you had a wonderful example of a good father in Keith," he lowered his eyes for a moment, blinking hard. She tilted his chin to make him look at her again. "And you can't get this wrong Luke- there's no handbook, no order or system. You just, keep at it. You keep trying to do the right thing. You do the stuff you know your mom did that you appreciated growing up. The things you could talk to Keith about- make sure Jayden knows he can talk to you about the same things. Keep letting him know he's the best thing you ever did with your life and that he can do anything he wants and I think you'll do a pretty great job."

"You sure? Cause I don't wanna let you down Brooke. Or Jayden."

"You won't," she said sliding her arms around his neck, "besides; I've got your back if things get hard. We do this together ok?"

Any uncertainty disappeared as she said those words and he was suddenly sure. He leant in to kiss her once again, "ok." She dimpled at him and then twisted to face Jayden and slipped her hands into his. He wrapped his arms round her waist and they watched their son sleep happily.

* * *

_Sometimes I just wish you could rescue me._

_From what?_

_From all of it._

_Ok then, I will. If you promise to rescue me back._

_I promise._

Several hours later and Brooke's certain, confident mantra for Luke's sake was gone and she was having a private breakdown in the bathroom down the hall. Everything was happening so fast and yes, **yes** she was happy. But she was also insanely terrified. She was so close to having everything she'd dreamed of for the last six years and yet- she could lose it all in a split second. She was deathly afraid Lucas would change his mind and she wasn't sure what he could do to reassure her that it wasn't the case. This was why she was having her freak out away from his smooth talk and loving gestures. She didn't want him to get frustrated with her insecurities. _What do you need from me? _He was so good asking her that. She knew he loved her, knew he wanted to be a good father, hell she _knew_ he could be a good father, but what if he decided to be a father to Jayden and then get bored and leave them again? She knew it was completely unreasonable to think it but god he had broken her heart so badly. Why couldn't she just accept good things were happening for her?!

She tapped her foot impatiently as she pulled her knees up to her chest and clung to them tightly. She had only come into the bathroom to call Millicent but somehow she hadn't even dialled the number and instead she had sat down heavily on the tiled floor. She felt exhausted now, everything had been so intense. Now that Jayden was stable she could suddenly slow down and it made her realise just how tired she was.

"I can do this I can do this I can do this," she muttered to herself.

"You realise I'm about ten seconds away from calling the psych ward honey?"

She snapped her head up startled, to see a sturdy looking nurse with her hands on her hips, looking down at Brooke.

"Oh sorry," she clambered to a standing position and rubbed her face, "I just needed a minute."

"You know we have a very nice waiting room," she said kindly, "you want me to show you where?"

"No- thank you. I know where it is, I just- needed a break."

The nurse nodded and looked at her sympathetically, "you got a relative in here?"

"Yeah, my son's in six fourteen."

"I'm so sorry," the nurse was taken aback. The girl in front of her looked so young. Brooke smiled quickly now.

"I better be getting back to him actually- sorry about the floor incident."

"You sure you're alright?"

Brooke nodded and pulled open the door, "just having a long day you know?"

"Honey I've been having a long year!"

Brooke laughed, "yeah actually me too," she said softly, before disappearing round the door. As she headed up the hall her cell began to ring.

"Oh crap Millie I'm sorry! I know I was supposed to ring!"

"_Don't sweat it babe- I figured you had your hands full. I'm just glad Jay's gonna be ok. What's the latest on you and broody boy Lucas?"_

"I think we're gonna be ok," she said quietly.

"_Well it's about time! You with your blinders down and completely unaware."_

"Oh come on- I have not been that bad."

"_Oh but sweetie it was so cute."_

She felt dense, "what was?"

"_His face literally fell a hundred feet when he came in and saw the man candy touching you. He could not be more in love with you. And if I can say that and have only seen the guy for all of ten brooding seconds I'm pretty sure you should know that after six years."_

Brooke felt her heart swell, "do you think?"

"_You know I wouldn't say so otherwise."_

"Well that's true, you are a New York b-" she stopped and she heard Millicent laughing down the phone.

"_And you know it. So anyway, I need to talk business with you for a minute. Jay's birthday-"_

"Yeah I know, I wanna do something extra special Mills oh and I've been thinking- how long can you stay down here?"

"_You know I'd much rather be at your disposal than the devils back in NY, so for as long as you need Miss Davis."_

"Good. Cause I'm thinking I wanna stay for Karen's wedding."

"_Karen's getting married?"_

Millicent was absolutely fascinated with Karen- and the feelings were mutual. When Brooke had been in New York Karen had called often to keep up with her news and whenever Brooke had been in a meeting Millicent would take over mobile control. Over the years she and Karen had built up a strong rapport and Millicent was completely in awe of the strong and lovely lady she saw much of in Brooke. Karen loved that Millicent was so fiercely loyal and protective over Brooke, and also just the fact that she was a confident no-nonsense young lady who was willing to do whatever it took to be happy.

"Yeah to Andy obviously- and it's October 1st."

"_Wow a whole month in Tree Hill? You must be serious about working things out with Luke."_

"Yeah I am Mills. I think this is where I need to be right now. I need to be home, and this is home."

"_Does that mean I should be looking at properties?"_

"Maybe," Brooke was cut off by Millicent's squeals of excitement.

Finally she cleared her throat, _"sorry. That totally did not just happen."_

Brooke sniggered, "noted."

"_If you tell anyone I went all girly on you, I'll tell Lucas you think Keller's better in bed."_

"Oh you wouldn't!"

"_Don't try me!"_

It was nice to giggle with Millicent for a few minutes after the intense emotional morning.

* * *

She eventually hung up the phone happily and was walking back to Jayden's room when the elevator pinged open and Peyton practically fell out, tripping over her own suitcase.

"Brooke!"

"Peyton?" Her friend ran down the hall, dragging her luggage after her.

"I got the first plane back, I couldn't get anything for ages! I'm so sorry! What's going on?"

They hugged briefly and Brooke could suddenly feel a black cloud looming over her head. What was that feeling at the back of her mind?

"He's ok," she said quickly.

"Ohh thank god!" Peyton leant against the wall breathlessly. "I swear that stupid cab driver drove at like a mile an hour on purpose cause I told him to go super fast."

Brooke smiled and shook her head, "don't worry about it honey, you didn't have to come home. Everything's fine."

A frown creased Peyton's smooth forehead, "oh. Ok, well... Can I come and see Jay?" She began to move and Brooke caught her arm quickly.

"Peyton I'm sorry- that totally came out wrong. I didn't mean I didn't want you here or anything. I just feel bad you had to leave and come all the way back here for this."

"He's my god son of course I'd be coming to see him! He's in a hospital for goodness sake- you think I'd relinquish my duties just cause I'm not in Tree Hill? No way."

Brooke knew she had a bad feeling about this, what the hell was it? "Peyton wait a second-"

"Is he this one? I asked the nurse downstairs but you never know." She walked firmly up to the room and stopped outside the door, looking through the glass. "Oh."

_I want you to listen to me. I care about Lucas, and I always will, but he's insanely in love with you and you know what? So am I, you're my Brooke! I'm not gonna hurt you again. _

"Yeah... Lucas is here."

Peyton nodded slowly, Brooke moved to stand behind her and squeezed her arm, "I understand if you wanna come back Peyton."

As she spoke Lucas looked up from where he'd been watching Jayden and looked visibly surprised. He jumped up from his seat but before he could get to the door Peyton backed away.

"Brooke, I really don't wanna cause a scene for Jayden so I think I will come back," she moved towards the elevators.

"Peyton-"

"No sweetie I'm ok I promise, I'm just- not ready to see him yet." She smiled quickly and then twisted around pulling her suitcase frantically, "give Jayden my love."

She dived into the nearest elevator and Brooke watched her go helplessly.

* * *

Lucas opened the door, "she didn't wanna stay?"

"I don't think she was ready to be ok you know? God I am not handling this at all well. I mean how am I gonna tell Peyton?! I'm gonna lose my best friend Luke! And Jayden-"

"Hey hey, come here," he pulled her into a warm hug and kissed the top of her head. "No one's going anywhere Brooke. You can't rush this- you've got to try and take it one step at a time. Baby steps; like you said."

"I know, I'm just, I'm just so tired Luke."

"I know. Here," he led her back inside, "why don't you try and get some sleep and I'll sit up and watch Jay?"

"Are you sure? You don't mind?"

"Brooke- he's my son, I have nothing that could be more important than this."

She smiled up at him suddenly, "what?" He asked nervously.

"Nothing- you're just gonna be so good at this Lucas Scott."

"Why thank you pretty girl."

She kissed her son's face and then collapsed onto the rollout bed. As though she were a child Lucas bent down to kiss her forehead, "try and sleep," he ordered. He kissed her properly and then sat back on the chair to watch his strangely perfect family sleeping.

**So I know everything's not perfectly fixed yet but hey how easy would that be?!**


	16. Now I Know Who I Want

**A/N: I'm so so sorry it has been sooo long since I updated. Things got crazy and now I am going to try and keep updates much more regular! Plus I re-wrote this chapter like three times. **

_This year I will try again with Brooke._

Brooke padded through from the bathroom slowly running a brush through her hair and thinking about the day ahead. Jayden was asleep in their bed, his arm flung over his face and the covers twisted round him. She smoothed them over now and adjusted the pillow so that his head was properly on it. He looked so peaceful but still a little pale and much thinner than before the accident. They had temporarily moved into the Naley residence and for a week Brooke had kept Jayden on strict bed rest. He had, however, been getting restless and she had caught him trying to sneak out to play on the beach with Jamie the previous day. She had threatened to ban him from Guitar Hero and sulkily he had stayed in bed for the rest of the day. Now she collapsed next to him and watched his chest fall and rise. It felt like such a blessing to see him sleep so peacefully.

Someone below broke the peace and banged on the front door and she jumped up quickly, "oh crap!" She glanced at Jay who thankfully was still asleep and dashed down the stairs. Nathan was coming through from the kitchen sleepily.

"I don't know why I bother," he said crossly, turning back towards his breakfast as he saw her running down the stairs. "It's always for you these days. People turning up to see you not me. In _my_ house!" He pushed open the kitchen door still muttering, "my house dammit!" She rolled her eyes in amusement and opened the door. Lucas was standing nervously on the step and beamed as she appeared, her eyes sparkling back at him.

"Hey pretty girl."

"Well hello yourself handsome. I ought to tell you off for being so noisy this early on a Saturday, but you look so nice all dressed up for a workout..." She kinked an eyebrow and he chuckled.

"Sometimes I feel like you just use me for my biceps Miss Davis."

"Oh, would that be a problem?" She bit her lip and he grinned before bending to kiss her.

"I guess I can accept it."

"Good. Then we're agreed," she turned to go back inside and he followed her smirking.

"So do we have everything arranged for today?"

"I have absolutely everything except the cake which your mom is bringing at eleven and you-"

"Yes I have the present all set up."

She turned and twinkled at him, "thank you sweetness."

"Have we got everything else sorted?"

"I hope." She began pacing, "I know I'm freaking out but you know I just want Jay to have the perfect birthday after everything he's been through but then I bet when we tell him he'll think I'm like evil mother of the century, I mean I'm basically worse than that one that tried to use her kids to get more money from her divorce I mean-"

"Brooke! Babe, relax!" He touched her shoulders, "we talked about this. It's gonna be fine. Deep breaths."

She nodded, "you're right. You're right. It's all going to be fine."

He kissed her palm, "you know how I like to be right." He pulled her towards the kitchen, "come on now, I better say hello to my loser brother."

"Luke wait a second-" he turned and smiled at her, playing with her hand, she paused, "are you sure you're ok with waiting to tell Jay?"

He frowned, "Brooke, we talked about this! You're to stop worrying and to relax for at least twenty four hours! It's our son's birthday and I get to celebrate it with you and him, that's enough for me ok?"

She looked at him dubiously and then smiled slowly, "ok. Sorry."

Nathan appeared in the hall, "Luke? What are you doing here so early?"

"Hey Nate! I came to see my brother you know... my nephew... my best friend..."

Nathan raised his eyebrows, "yeah whatever. You're here to make out with Davis. Haley wants to know if you're staying for breakfast."

Luke glanced sideways at Brooke, "I dunno, am I allowed to stay Miss Worry?" She shoved at his side.

"Shut up!"

"You shut up!" He pushed her back gently, she punched his arm and laughing he spun her round in the hall.

"Get off me!"

"Come on, ouch!"

Nathan rolled his eyes and turned back towards the kitchen leaving Brooke and Lucas push each other about in the hall. Finally Lucas swung an arm over Brooke's shoulder and pulled her towards the kitchen.

"Come on lady Davis, let's not fight."

"You started it!" She retorted crossly.

"Ok," he said ignoring her, "so Andy should be here in about an hour to help me and Nate set up the castle, my mom is coming at eleven with Lily- does Jayden know anything yet?"

"No- he has no idea. I'm gonna go wake him up in about half an hour; you know, spend a little time with him before the crazy day begins." She didn't add that since she and Jayden had moved in with Nathan and Haley she and Jay had had barely any time alone together and she kind of wanted some mother- son time.

Haley handed her a plate of scrambled eggs now and smiled at her, "hey there Momma Davis, how you doin?"

"I'm good thank you Mrs Scott, hey, thanks again for putting us up till Jayden and I find somewhere more permanent."

Haley waved her hand, "Brooke don't worry about it- I think I owed you. Besides, I think Jamie's really enjoyed having a boy here- he was kind of mad Gracie wasn't a little brother."

Brooke shook her head, "boys are much more fun." Lucas wound an arm round her waist and kissed her neck.

"Why thank you babe."

She tapped his cheek, "I wasn't actually talking about you but sure hon."

He grinned, "I'll take it anyway," he bent and kissed her before turning to pour her some juice.

Haley watched them happily; they looked so comfortable and happy together. The phone began ringing and she reached over casually to pick it up, "hello?"

Brooke glanced over as she heard Haley's voice change and watched her friend as she became flustered and turned almost guiltily to look at Brooke. "Oh no ok. Yeah umm sure. Uh huh. Ok. Yeah I'll be there." Avoiding Brooke's eyes she reached casually over to reach for her keys and put the phone back on the hook.

Lucas, missing the tension, spoke threw a mouthful of eggs, "whowasthat?"

"It was Peyton," Haley said quickly, her back to them as she sorted her bag. "Her car broke down and she can't get the mechanic out this early so I'm gonna go pick her up."

Brooke felt a wave of guilt sweep over her. Since Peyton had been back she had seen her less than a dozen times. Her best friend had visited Jayden only when Lucas was absent and Brooke suspected Nathan was giving Peyton a heads up about when that was. She felt more and more left out from the Peyton- Nathan friendship and she hated it. She wanted to be able to talk to Peyton about Luke but she knew that right now it would be so insensitive... She wanted to tell her best friend that things were finally working out, but it was the opposite for Peyton right now and it felt like it was some how her fault. She sighed inwardly shouldn't this be easier?

Lucas was looking over at his pretty girl thoughtfully, watching the emotions flit across her face. He decided suddenly that enough was enough and put down his fork.

"I'll go Hales."

Brooke's head snapped towards him, "huh?"

Haley span round from the fridge where she was reaching for a bottle of water and scrunched her nose up, trying to remain casual, "oh no that's ok Luke. It's not far."

"No," he stood up firmly, "I know the car."

Haley looked at her husband desperately and Nathan stood quickly, "ohh err Luke if you're going that way Peyton wanted me to err- help her move some stuff into her new place so I'll just catch a ride with you if that's ok?"

Brooke looked at Lucas in confusion- what wasn't she following?

"It's cool," Lucas said easily, "I can drop you both off before coming back here." He bent to kiss Brooke and she tried in vain to read his eyes.

"Luke-"

"It's ok babe, I'll be back soon." Lucas had decided it was high time his girl stopped feeling bad about Peyton and started relaxing and enjoying her life.

* * *

There was silence in the car as Lucas backed out of the drive. Nathan rested his arm on the open window ledge and squinted in the September sun.

"It's a good day for Jay's birthday party," Luke said lightly, attempting to break the silence.

Nathan drummed his fingers on the ledge and nodded wordlessly.

"Nate come on I'm trying here."

"I know you are Luke, and I appreciate that. But you gotta understand, I love the Sawyer just as much as I love the Davis, I'm in a bit of a situation here. You might be with Brooke now, and that's great but I'm watching out for Peyton too."

"Peyton's cool Nate- we weren't in love anymore," he tried to inject more confidence into his voice than he felt.

Nathan raised his eyebrows, "maybe for you there wasn't any love left, but Peyton loved you Luke. She loved you fiercely and you broke her. I'm just making sure she's happy from now on out."

"So we're not cool?"

"Does Peyton know her best friend lied to her for five years and that the guy she planned to spend her life with is actually the father of the afore mentioned best friend?"

Lucas scowled and revved at the red light, "it wasn't as simple as that."

"Sure it was Luke. So long as Peyton doesn't know, we're not cool. I don't like lying to her."

"Hey- it wasn't my idea!"

"I didn't say it was, "Nathan said easily. It was enraging Lucas how cool his brother was about the whole thing.

"Look- if I had known you know I would have been there for Brooke right?"

"Sure Luke, but that's all in the past. You and Brooke are lying _now_."

"Give me a break Nate, I only found out a damn week ago! I've had seven days to get used to the idea of having a son. A _son_ Nate."

"And what do you think Peyton's gonna feel when she finds out? You think she'll be happy you took so long to tell her? You two used to be so tight Luke."

Lucas sighed and pulled onto the side of the road where up ahead Peyton's car was letting off steam from under the bonnet. His insides curled, this was such a strange de ja vu- it felt so cruel. As Peyton jumped out- expecting Haley- her face fell when she saw who had come to her rescue.

"Luke?" Nathan darted from round the other side of the car and hugged her quickly, muttering something in her ear. Lucas noticed that she'd cut her hair- it looked nice, but the vigour in her face was gone and she looked haunted. The guilt Brooke had been experiencing all week suddenly hit him full on and he winced as he met her green eyes.

"Hey Peyt."

"Hi," she said shortly, before turning back to the car and reaching into the boot. "I'm not sure what's up with it," her voice was muffled and she turned back with a box in front of her face- handing it to Nathan before dusting her hands. He didn't know what Nathan had said but she smiled quickly at Lucas- politely even- and gestured towards the bonnet, "check it out if you dare. Nate I got another box in the back-"

"Yeah I can get that in a sec," he said easily, placing the first one on Luke's back seat. Peyton seemed determined to stay as far away from the tall blonde as possible and instead followed Nathan round to help secure the box. Lucas watched her for a second and then nodded to no-one before heading over to examine the inside of the Comet. He felt such discomfort in her company and longed for Brooke to be beside him, twinkling up at him, teasing him about trying to fix the car. She made everything so easy, made his life brighter just being there. He wished she was the one who needed her car fixing instead. They would, no doubt, have first made use of the backseat- before she even let him take a look at the car problem.

_Do you think you can get it to run?_

_Of course he can. And he's gonna look good doing it too in a tight little wife beater, maybe some grease smudges._

Peyton and Nathan were having some sort of hushed discussion and Lucas felt a twinge of annoyance, were they talking about him?

"Is everything ok?" He asked loudly.

Nathan looked like a deer caught in head lights but Peyton seemed almost annoyed, "everything's fine," she said sharply. He dropped the rag he'd brought and slammed the hood down.

"You know I came here to help you out Peyton."

"No offence Luke, but you were kind of the last person I wanted to come to my rescue."

"Why Peyton? We were friends before!"

She straightened from leaning against the car and he could see Nathan's hand restraining her arm, "we were friends over five years ago Lucas! We have hardly spoken in the last month, what on earth led you to believe I would want to see you?! We broke up- not particularly nicely- quit being so naive!"

"Me naive?"

"Of course! How the hell did you think we were gonna be friends after this? You lied to me about how you felt for five years! You never admitted how you felt and I thought we were happy! It was all just a lie. You're a liar Lucas Scott and I doubt you can deny it."

"Peyton I was happy- I just, I never even admitted it to myself how much I was in love with-"

"But you knew, deep down. And why the hell didn't you wait till we broke up to make out with her i

"Enough!" Nathan said suddenly, stepping between them. Lucas hadn't realised it but he had stormed halfway towards her as they'd been arguing and now Nathan touched his shoulder, "drop it Luke. You shouldn't have come Lucas, it wasn't your place."

"It was," he said angrily. "This whole situation is upsetting Brooke and that _is_ my business."

Peyton's face dropped from angry to sad in a matter of milliseconds and she nodded slowly. "You're right. This whole situation is bad; but I can't help it Luke. I'm happy for you two I swear but Brooke's avoiding me as much as I'm avoiding her." She shrugged and turned away, walking towards the back of the car, "just take me home would you?"

* * *

Brooke sighed loudly as she scrubbed at the breakfast plates, Haley appeared from opening the sliding doors to let some air into the kitchen and squeezed her arm.

"You ok girly?"

"Do I get to answer that honestly?"

Haley leant against the counter, crossing her arms, before smiling softly, "I'd prefer that you did."

Brooke gave a sideways smile and nodded. "Ok." She took a breath before looking up, her hazel eyes filling with tears, "I think I'm gonna lose my best friend here Hales." She bit her lip and wiped her eyes quickly, "I mean, I want to tell my _best _friend that my son is finally gonna know his father and that is _so_ wonderful but how do I do that without completely destroying our friendship? How do I do it?"

Haley held up a hand, "Brooke relax, take a breath."

Brooke squeezed her eyes shut and exhaled hard, "ok, sorry. I just," she threw her hands up, "I thought telling Luke would fix everything and that I wouldn't be alone anymore but..." She stared at her hands, "but losing my best friend and you-"

"Honey I'm not going anywhere, I know you and I had our differences but I get it- you couldn't say anything. I wish you had- I could have helped you out more."

"I know Hales, but you were here, and I couldn't be- you know that. But I managed right? And now I get a second chance with Luke and yet- it's breaking my heart that Peyton can't be happy with me and that she doesn't know about Jay. What do I do?"

Haley reached over and squeezed her hand, "you wait and see Brooke. You take it one day at a time cause that's all you can do. You'll know when the time is right to tell Peyton. Bigger than that when are you gonna tell Jay the truth?"

"Oh god," Brooke twisted to sit down on the nearest stool, "that's a whole other story. Luke wants to wait."

"What? I thought he was all for it!"

"I know I know, I guess we're just trying to find the right moment and-"

"So you mean really, you wanna wait and Lucas is happy to go along with that?"

"I don't wanna hurt Jay when he's so frail."

"Brooke! He's fine and healthy and looking forward to his birthday celebrations, you have to tell him soon! What's holding you back?"

Brooke sighed, "I know he's ok but-" she hadn't mentioned the extra tests to anyone, it scared enough already, she didn't want everybody else fussing. She knew she was once again choosing to deal with it alone but she still wasn't ready to start letting people in.

_I don't know why it's so easy for me to get naked one way, but not the other_

There was a shout from the hall and Lucas and Nathan appeared in the kitchen both looking furious. Haley stared at them both open mouthed.

"Nathan-"

"I don't wanna talk," he said scowling before stalking through towards his gym room.

Both girls turned to look at Lucas questioningly, he shrugged, "it wasn't me." Haley rolled her eyes before heading after her husband. Brooke looked up at Lucas in confusion.

"Luke what happened?"

"Peyton finally yelled at me," he said sitting down heavily. She jumped up and ran her hands across his shoulders soothingly.

"Oh Luke I'm sorry."

He dropped his head in his hands and sighed, "I'm such a jerk," he said sadly.

"What?! No you're not!" She said passionately, "well-"

"Ah thanks babe."

"No I mean, of course you are sometimes but you're also good and kind and you worry about your friends and you're honest and brave and-"

"You wanna go on a date with me?" He said suddenly.

She felt taken a back, "I- oh," she sat down, "that was out of the blue."

He slipped his hands into hers, "look when I was out looking at Peyton's car it was so awkward and god, I felt so uncomfortable and I wished you were there so much. You would have made things so easy, you make everything feel so much easier. It just made me realise," he said reaching up to stroke her hair gently, "I want us to work and I don't wanna get caught up in the craziness and forget about us you know? So I think tonight, after the party, you and me should get dressed up- you should definitely wear something pretty- and we could just be together alone for a bit."

She smiled, "that sounds like a good idea Lucas Scott."

"So you do?"

She smiled, "yeah I do."

"Ok so we do the party and then, we go out to where?"

"I have a good idea," he said grinning.

**Ok so I know this chapter was mainly talk but I'm setting up for some major drama! Brucas of course but also some twists that I know might be a little unconventional but we'll see. A new update will be here very soon- so sorry about the aaaaage it took to upload! Do review if you liked it.**


	17. The Best Friend Is The Last To Know

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: Brucas on the way but we're solving Breyton in this chapter. Some Brucas obviously! Do review please. They're like my drug seeing as I don't like coffee lol.**

_Have fun with your family._

Clambering over a mountain of abandoned cake Brooke caught sight of her son and smiled; her heart filling with love.

"Jay baby not too high ok?" He was jumping around on the bouncy castle waving a plastic sword around- a pirate hat falling over his eyes every other second. He waved, laughing, but ignored her warning and continued to jump. She rolled her eyes; he was such a little minx sometimes.

She had invited Jamie's entire class from school and Jayden had soon fallen into Jamie's main group of friends. He was at ease in most social situations- just like his mother and had her ability to talk to just about anybody. He had the added bonus of being from out of town and so having lots of stories to tell about New York and the fact he had a 'really cool' scar to show off was also useful. There had been a pirates theme- which was mainly to cater for Brooke's hankering to have a life size cardboard cut out of Johnny Depp. Lucas had spent the entire afternoon scowling at it and attempting to knock it over at any opportunity. It had seriously amused both Brooke and Haley. Now it was nearly six and most of the children had gone home; leaving Haley's house and garden looking like an absolute war zone.

"Let him be babe- he's being careful." Lucas appeared with a tray of used drinks cups and was looking at her with amusement in his eyes.

"But he's jumping really high!"

"He's being sensible- relax!"

"What?! Come on I was just telling him-" he pulled her round the corner of the house and kissed her.

"I know you were- but still, the kid's just turned six!"

She pulled away as he bent to kiss her again, "oh my god! Our boy is six. Six! He's so grown up Luke!"

He was looking at her strangely and she bit her lip, "what?"

"No- nothing bad," he touched her cheek, "it just feels really good to hear you say, _our_ son."

Her hazel eyes sparkled, "well it feels good to say it." They both smiled up at each other, enjoying the joy of a flashback to when they were young and in love, and now they were able to be once more.

Brooke sighed suddenly and he frowned, "what's up?"

"I just wish he could stay six you know? I don't like that he's growing up."

He chuckled and touched her chin, "well what did you think was gonna happen pretty- he'd stay young forever?"

"I wanted him to!" She said pouting and looking up at him with her brown eyes pleadingly, "couldn't you have worked something out Luke?"

He laughed, "oh well I'm sorry I'm not magic pretty girl but I err-" he shrugged grinning, "I'm not."

"Well you should be!"

He laughed and kissed her again, "I'll make it up to you later."

"Ooh- that sounds promising," she said twinkling up at him.

"Momma?" Jayden appeared behind them and Lucas immediately dropped his entwined hands from around Brooke's back. Brooke touched her hot face and Lucas cleared his throat far too obviously.

Brooke dived forward, crouching in front of him, "hey baby- you ok?"

He was looking at her suspiciously and she tried not to look guilty. She reached up and pushed his dark hair out of his eyes, "you might need a hair cut soon sweetie- your hair's getting so long!"

He pushed her hair away smiling shyly, "I like it long Momma."

She chuckled, "well so do I but I don't want it getting in the way of your eyes."

He yawned suddenly and leant against her shoulder, "can I go inside for a bit please?"

"You wanna have some quiet time buddy?"

He nodded slowly and she picked him up, "alright let's go. Wow you're getting so big!" She carried him towards the house and Lucas watched them go fondly, stamping down on the regret he felt about not being able to carry his son himself. He still felt a little bit awkward around Jayden and he was pretty sure Jayden felt the same.

He suddenly decided to jog after her, "hey Brooke!"

She twirled and her hair whipped round her face, he could hardly resist the urge to reach out and push it behind her ears. "We still on for uhhh for later?"

A tiny smile played on her lips, teasing him she stayed silent, shrugging. "You making it worth my while?" He was thankful Jayden seemed to be half asleep on her back. He felt shy flirting with her- she was so much better at it.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, his eyes twinkling, "I think so."

_All work and no Brooke make Luke a boring boy._

Her smile widened, "then we're still on for tonight."

He pushed his feet in the dirt and then looked up at her, "I'm looking forward to it you know."

"Me too."

Jayden stifled a yawn and she touched his head gently, "I better take him upstairs."

"Ok," slowly he reached up and touched his son's hair, "see you later Jayden." He couldn't believe it; he was actually making progress. He glanced at Brooke excitedly; her face was glowing with pride.

"Mmmbye," Jayden said sleepily, his voice muffled as his face was buried in his mother's shoulder. Brooke blew him a kiss and he winked at her. As the two disappeared round the corner he couldn't help but punch the air happily. God things were good.

* * *

Upstairs Brooke lay Jayden down on the bed and checked her messages as he examined his unopened presents half heartedly.

"Don't open that yet baby- I want us to do them together."

He dropped back on the pillow, "ok," he said sleepily. She watched him for a second and then began dialling a number.

"Hey Millie- it's me. You left me a message- have you found a house?"

"_It's perfect Brooke, you have an appointment to see it tomorrow. Does that work for you?"_

"Perfect. You're a star!"

"_You're welcome. Now I'll be back over in an hour to see Jay. Is he having a good birthday?"_

"So far so good!"

"_What about what you and Luke discussed-"_

Brooke pulled a face she knew Millicent couldn't see, "we're getting there."

"_What are you wearing tonight?"_

Brooke flushed and glanced over her shoulder to where Jayden was now asleep on the bed. She ducked out of the bedroom and stood on the landing, dropping her voice to a whisper.

"Honestly, I've no idea."

"_That's impossible! You have like five wardrobes!"_

"Yeah I know but nothing new! I want something that'll amaze him you know?"

"_He already thinks you're amazing Brooke."_

Brooke messed with the banister, "Do you think so?"

"_I know so Brooke."_

"I just-"

"_Brooke! Try to stop worrying for like ten seconds and enjoy your date would you?"_

"Fine!" Smiling she hung up the phone and as she did so the door bell went. She leant over the banister to peer over and saw that it was Peyton holding a giant present. She and Nathan were having a somewhat heated conversation. Finally she put the present down on the counter and waving her arms in the air in dismissal moved through to the garden. Brooke leant further over to watch her go and turning exasperatedly Nathan glanced up and caught her in the act. Chuckling he headed up the stairs to where she was half hiding and collapsed next to her.

"What you doing up here Davis?"

She touched her hands to her hot cheeks and gave him a guilty smile, "I was on the phone to Millie- I came outside so I didn't disturb Jay."

He raised his eyebrows, "_sure_."

"What? I did!"

"And you just happened to accidently lean over the banister during my conversation with your best friend?"

Brooke pouted, "no! I mean- well I didn't plan it, I just-" she paused and looked at her hands, "is she mad at me?"

"Brooke! You two are as bad as each other! Please- go sort this out once and for all," he stood up and pulled on her arm. "Come on now."

"Wait Nate-" she grabbed his wrist, "No I can't- Nathan!"

"Brooke come on- this is not something you can run from again." The jokey atmosphere was gone and he sounded frustrated.

She dropped his arm like a dead weight and pulled back altogether, "I'm not running," she said quickly.

"Brooke," he said softly, "I know you're scared about your life changing so quickly and suddenly we're all asking you to let us in and talk to us and be more open but it's not something to be afraid of."

She scoffed, "what? This is a safe space?"

He was silent. Finally he shrugged, "I'm not going anywhere."

She sighed and took a breath, "ok fine. I just- what if I tell her and it breaks her even more?"

Nathan's blue eyes were sad, "Brooke- she's not made of china. The way you're treating her- it's not fair. She needs to know or else she's not living her life the same way you are."

She looked puzzled, "how I'm living?"

"Yup," he stood up and began to move down the stairs, "you got the guy and the baby and you get to live your life in the open. Look, I've been arguing with her for days about talking to you but she seems to think you guys are fine. Can you look me in the eye and tell me she's right."

Brooke messed with her jeans, "I don't know. She doesn't want to see me, she's still hung up on Luke and I feel so guilty about it all."

"She's not hung up on Luke still, trust me. But this is bigger than Lucas Brooke- this is your best friend. You two have been through so much, you owe it to her to tell her."

She sighed and stared up at the ceiling, before squeezing her eyes shut. Nathan waited patiently, watching the pretty face scrunch with uncertainty until finally her eyes snapped open. "Ok. I'll do it."

Nathan patted her leg, "good, finally." He dropped back on the landing and looked up at the same ceiling feeling relief wash over him, "no more secrets." Brooke lay down next to him and squeezed his arm.

"Nate, are _you_ ok?"

He rubbed his forehead, "yeah, yeah I'm fine Brooke- thanks."

"Good," she said softly, "I don't want my son's godfather going anywhere."

He scoffed, "like where? I have no plans for the next ten years."

She twisted to look at him, "Nate-"

He straightened up, "it's cool, I better get back down there and help Luke clear up. I hope Peyton hasn't spotted him and killed him already."

Brooke smiled sadly, "I'll go find her."

* * *

She checked on Jayden who was completely crashed out asleep on the bed and then jogged down the stairs, breathing deeply. Peyton was sitting in the kitchen with Haley, admiring new photographs of Grace.

The blonde looked up smiling, her face flinched slightly, "heyyy, long time best friend."

"Hey." She pulled at her sleeves and wished she knew what to say next.

Haley picked up her drink and moved towards the garden, "I'm gonna go, umm, outside," she shot Brooke a look and she nodded and smiled quickly.

Peyton frowned, "what's goin' on Brooke?"

Brooke sat down heavily and fiddled with a cup handle. "Peyton-" she sighed and tried again, "Peyton-"

Peyton reached over and took her hand, "hey Brooke- it's ok. What's up?"

"Peyton I haven't been entirely honest with you about something. I mean, for the longest time I wasn't honest with myself and I'm only just getting it all together in my own head. But I want to tell you because you're my best friend and I hate that I didn't tell you believe me."

"Brooke-" Peyton's face was confused and Brooke could barely meet her eyes.

"Chris- Chris isn't Jayden's father."

Peyton took a sharp intake of breath, "he- he's not?"

"I slept with Chris weeks before I discovered I was pregnant and there's no way the timeline would have ever matched up."

Slowly Peyton was pulling her hands away from Brooke's and she was straightening up.

Brooke continued, "and I wanted you to be happy that's all I wanted in the world so I didn't tell you. I never wanted you to worry or feel threatened or hurt or like you owed me something so I-"

Peyton was shaking her head, tears falling, "oh god."

"I never said anything before because I didn't know how to- especially now..."

"_Lucas_?" Peyton's voice was a whisper.

Brooke continued, her voice barely audible, "I never told you because I knew you were happy and that's all I wanted. But now you're not with- and I'm with- and it makes me feel worse but you need to know. I mean I need you to know-"

"Stop. Stop it."

Brooke took a shuddering breath and felt her own tears smudging across her cheeks, "Peyton-"

"So Lucas- Lucas is the father? All these years I felt like somehow I was the bad guy and yet it was you, you lied to me about this!?"

Brooke bristled, "I didn't have a choice! I did what was best for my son. While you and Lucas were off being young and in love and shoving it down everybody's throats; I was having a baby! Don't play the victim here Peyton!" She hadn't meant to lose her temper but she couldn't help it.

"The victim?! Brooke give me a minute to digest this all here. I just found out my best friend lied to me for over six years!"

"You came to me with your pleading eyes, all oh I love him Brooke is it ok if I date him? We have something; I feel it in my heart- what the hell was I supposed to say? You can't date Lucas because I'm pregnant with his child? A child he didn't know about and I didn't want him to know about!"

"Why, because you couldn't swallow your damn pride long enough to tell him?"

"Lucas and I _broke_ up. I chose not to tell him because I knew I could be a good mother but I didn't know how well he would handle being a father. I was wrong to do that but Lucas and I have discussed it since! That is nothing to do with you. I am telling you because you're my best friend I wanted you to know."

"I can't believe you asked me to be god mother with a straight face knowing what you knew!"

"How dare you judge me for this Peyton! I was barely seventeen years old. I was lost and confused and my boyfriend had just told me he wanted to be with my best friend instead of me!"

There was a silence and Brooke realised they were both standing up, only inches from each other. She took three steps back and placed her hands on the counter- searching for strength, for calm.

"Look, Peyton-"

"I don't think I can talk to you right now Brooke," Peyton turned away.

"Stop! Don't walk away from me Peyton. We need to talk once and for all so we can get on with our lives."

"You mean _your_ life, your life with your son and Lucas? You get to sail off into the sunset with your conscience clear."

That stung, she had genuinely wanted Peyton to be happy.

"Look I _love_ you Peyton. You are like my sister but right now you're acting like a pain in the ass." Peyton's eyes widened incredulously. Brooke shrugged, "you think you can throw a tantrum like one of Jayden's and I'm supposed to break down and blame myself for all your unhappiness? I am truly, _truly_ sorry you and Lucas didn't work out- I genuinely wanted you two to work because I wanted you to be happy. When I left for New York I had no intention of coming home ever. It was so hard for me to see you and Lucas together. But I didn't tell you because I thought you were better off being happy. Whatever went down in Tree Hill while I wasn't here had nothing to do with me because I was in New York, caring for my son."

"It had _everything_ to do with you Brooke. Don't you get it? Lucas never got over you- we never had a chance!"

Brooke looked at her hands; she seemed to have lost her voice. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I'm not blaming you Brooke- you're right, you weren't there. You just- you always had this power over him. I couldn't fight it then and I can't fight it now."

Something seemed to have got through to Peyton and she pushed her hair back from her face. "Dammit if you'd only told me maybe Jayden could have had all those years with a family!"

"He- he had a family."

"No, I mean a complete, non traditional Tree Hill family, you and Luke- and I would hope me, Nathan, Haley, Jamie. He could have had everybody here. You could have had all of us."

Brooke could have been knocked down with a feather. She stared at her friend in amazement. "You're- you're not mad?"

"Oh Brooke- you're right. Besides- this isn't even about me honey. This is about your chance to have a real family. I have no right to yell at you, no right after everything- you know," she gave a half smile. "I want you to be happy too B Davis- I love you. And god I'm sorry I had a tantrum- it really wasn't cool."

"No, it really wasn't cool of me to say that- I'm sorry."

"No, I'm really sorry- I should have pushed you more to tell me at the time. I was just so wrapped up in my own life."

"I was being too proud- I wanted you to work it out."

"I'm sorry!"

"Me too, me too."

They were both sobbing and clutching each other's arms. Lucas and Nathan were coming into the kitchen carrying a load of plates but seeing the girls in front of them they backed slowly out of the room.

Brooke sniffed hard and wiped her eyes, "oh gosh, look at us. We're such a mess!"

Peyton pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek, "we'll be ok."

"You think? I mean, you're sure?" She needed to hear it.

Peyton squeezed her arms, "I am. For the first time in a long time- I think we're both gonna be fine. You wanna do lunch tomorrow?"

"Oh I can't- I'm viewing a house."

Peyton's face lit up, "you're buying a house here?! Oh my god how exciting!"

"I know!" Brooke jumped up and down with her friend and they laughed excitedly. Nathan and Lucas were making a second attempt to come into the kitchen and seeing the hysterical jumping they both retreated once more and left the plates outside the sliding door.

* * *

Several hours later and Brooke was attempting to do the zip on a hot pink satin dress. A hand brushed hers away and she turned to see Nathan fastening it for her.

"Oh thanks Nate."

"No problem." He leant against the wall and watched her step into a pair of sky high black platforms, "Jay's watching some movie with Jamie downstairs. I thought I'd come check on his mother."

"I'm fine," she said quickly. She sat down on the dresser stool and tugged at a curl, "dammit, why won't you curl?!"

"Peyton told me what happened."

"Oh, is she ok?" Brooke wondered what kind of fast line these two had.

"You tell me."

"You're so annoying with your yoda like answers!" She cast him a warning look and he chuckled.

"Sorry. Yeah she sounded fine- are you ok?"

"I'm fine- _so_ glad we talked."

"And you're ok about tonight?"

"Yes, thank you dad! I'm a little bit nervous." She stood up and straightened out the dress before looking up at him. "How do I look?"

He whistled, "hey Hales?"

Haley appeared in baggy shorts and a tank top, "what's up? Oh wow Brooke! You look beautiful!"

Nathan swung an arm over his wife's shoulder, "I thought I'd better get the wife in here just in case I got consumed with passion and jumped you."

Brooke rolled her eyes, "stop it this is important!"

He laughed, "I'm sorry- but you do look great Davis."

The doorbell went and Brooke jumped, "oh my god- is that him?"

Nathan jogged down the stairs and opened the door, calling out as he went, "it's too early for carol singers!" He opened the door to his brother and raised his eyebrows, "or trick or treaters."

"Nathan!" Brooke hissed warningly over the banister and Nathan pointed up at her.

"Get a coat Davis- something to cover your legs as well!"

Brooke stuck her tongue out and then caught Luke's eye, "hi," she mouthed.

He smiled wordlessly back.

_Hey babe._

She disappeared back to the spare room where Haley was sitting on the bed cross legged. "I am so jealous you're going on a date!"

Brooke flushed, "I feel like I'm too old to go on a date."

"Nonsense. I wish Nathan and I would get ten minutes alone, let alone a date. But with Gracie and Jamie..."

"Hey," Brooke twisted from putting earrings in, "I could babysit tomorrow night if you want?"

Haley's face lit up, "oh that'd be great! Are you sure?"

"Hey- you guys are doing a hell of a lot for me at the moment." She twisted, "where's my brush?"

"You look lovely, my best friend better put on a good show for you." She smirked and Brooke bent down to hug her.

"Thanks Hales- for everything."

"No problem- and have a good time tonight. Be careful." Her brown eyes sparkled despite the warning tone.

Brooke giggled, "we're past being careful I think- hence the son downstairs."

Haley beamed, "isn't nice you can say that out loud now?"

"You have no idea!"

She made her way down the stairs and Luke's jaw dropped as she reached the bottom step. "Wow." He took a step towards her and tripped on a basketball. "Oh- oh, crap." His face was red as he came over to her and she clutched his arm.

"Don't worry- I didn't see."

He kissed her cheek shyly, "take it as a serious compliment."

She blushed attractively, "you ummm you look nice too."

Nathan rolled his eyes, "you two make Meredith and Derek look like naturals at the relationship thing."

Brooke shot him a look, "I can't believe you know who Meredith and Derek are you dork."

He blushed, "shut up and get out of here. Back before eleven teenagers."

Lucas slipped his hand into Brooke's and kissed it, "yeah we'll see."

Brooke kinked an eyebrow, "optimistic much?"

They headed out the door and the night air made her shiver, she felt so nervous and so excited at the same time. As the door closed she began to speak. "So where are we-" he broke her sentence by pulling her close and kissing her passionately. She responded almost immediately and wrapped her arms tightly round his neck.

"God you look so gorgeous," he murmured.

"Mmm, you are _so_ in for a good night."

"Oh I think we both are."

_You know you look amazing right?_

**_So i know Breyton seemed to make up pretty fast but i'm thinking they're done fighting- they love each other and the focus is brucas and Jayden and Peyton knows that. I love her but this story isn't about her. Still some twists to come though of course!_**


	18. A Beautiful Day

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything- but I realised tonight as I lectured a friend on little known facts about OTH- she's on S3 and becoming an avid fan- hurrah- I realised I know far too much about who does what and says what in EVERY episode ever. Lol but hey- I don't care. S7 OTH FTW! **

**A/N: So massive apology for how long this has taken but I promise the next one will be up much more quickly. Brucas date love inside...**

"_Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute."- Einstein_

Brooke rested her head against the back of her seat and closed her eyes. She had expected to feel nervous but instead she felt more relaxed than she had done in weeks. She felt _safe_. She and Luke were having an early date and then she was going back to Haley's to help Jayden unwrap his presents and put him to bed. She was so not taking any chances in leaving Jayden alone anywhere for very long but Haley and Nathan had promised to keep a close eye on him whilst she was out.

"You warm enough?" Luke's soft voice broke her thoughts and she smiled happily at him.

"Yeah- yes thank you," she twisted to look at him, "hey are we nearly there yet?"

He laughed, "you are so impatient; we've been in the car less than ten minutes."

She jumped up and down in her seat, "I know I know but still- I'm excited!"

Chuckling he twisted to stroke her face, "me too." She felt breathless just looking in his eyes and as he turned back to the road his hand slipped down to find hers and squeezed her fingers gently. They sat in a comfortable silence, his fingers playing with hers as he hummed a tune she vaguely recognised under his breath. Every so often she would steal a glance at him; just to look at his face, to check he was still there and this wasn't some crazy good dream. He had a tiny smile playing on his lips as though to say he knew she was peeking at him but his gaze remained fixed on the road; just as she was about to turn away he would flick his eyes her way and wink- she would blush and look back out at the scenery rushing by. They continued in this fashion for a little while, both of them laughing silently, before the car slowed down and came off the freeway. Lucas indicated left and turned off the road suddenly. He pulled to a stop and she scrunched her face up, where??

"Here we are."

She peered out the window into the dusk and beamed, "Luuuke- it's like totally our spot." She was looking out onto the beach where they had been together many times before; had shared so many moments in their history. He jumped out and moved round the car to open the door for her.

"Here you go pretty girl."

"Why thank you mister."

He bent and kissed her smiling, "you're welcome." He took her hand, "come on, and check it out."

They clambered over the bank and she bit back the curse about her shoes in the sand- reminding herself of the effort Lucas appeared to have gone to and then was more blown away by the effort when she looked over the top of the bank.

_Is this beach taken?_

"Lucas," she breathed softly, "wow." She was staring at a table surrounded by a circle of candles- most of them still lit against the wind off the sea. There were bright pink dahlias in the middle of the table and it was set for two. She turned back to him, "you did this?"

He shrugged, "I might have had a little help- besides I couldn't light the candles when I was picking you up could I?"

She pulled a face, "I don't know- maybe!"

He chuckled and led her over the line of candles, "Mouth helped- he watched them for me and text to say he'd lit them like ten minutes ago so I figured it was a pretty safe bet they'd all still be lit."

She smiled up at him adoringly, "you really do think of everything."

"I'm that kind of guy," he said sticking his tongue in between his teeth teasingly.

She patted his cheek, "most of the time."

He rolled his eyes, "what does a guy around here have to do to get a decent compliment?!"

She met his eyes, her own hazel ones twinkling, "you're amazing."

He kissed her gently, "thank you. Now you sit here," he pulled out a chair, "and look pretty. And I," he paused to kiss her again before moving round the table, "will sit here."

He reached under the table and pulled out a food bag and passed her a bottle of water.

"Thank you," she twinkled at him and he nodded smirking. Brooke poured a glass and then rested her chin in her hands, "so you think Jayden had a good time today?"

"I think so," he poured himself a glass and met her eye, "I really hope so."

She smiled and stretched a hand out to ask for his and he took it, "you were great with him Luke." She chuckled, "I think you're growing on him."

"I'm an easy guy to love," he said grinning and winking at her.

She narrowed her eyes at him, "you're annoyingly easy to love."

"And impossible to move on from right?"

She rolled her eyes, "what do you think? I'm still here aren't I?"

He kissed her hand, "and I'm very thankful for that. And you're happy?"

"Of course! I'm very happy!"

"You're sure?"

"Umm you think I do candle lit dates on beaches with every other guy or something?"

"I certainly hope not! So, you're ok- we're ok?"

"What are you doing Lucas?" She said suspiciously, "you keep fishing."

"I don't know," he said laughing before looking at the table, "I guess I just wanna check you're not going anywhere Brooke."

_Don't go... I just needed to say it. You have to stay._

"What are you talking about?!"

His eyes remained fixed on the table and she suddenly felt a swoop of guilt and understanding- she always knew what he was thinking- he was worried she'd run again. She spoke softly, squeezing his hand, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here Luke."

"Yeah but-"

"It would be easy for me to run away again?"

His blue eyes met hers in apology, "I'm sorry Brooke. I know I have no right to ask but I'm just scared that _I'm_ gonna think we're ok and you're not gonna be feeling the same way and you're gonna... you know- leave me and go back to New York where everything's shiny and Oz like."

She raised an eyebrow, "Oz like?"

"You know what I mean," he said stubbornly.

"Nothing is greener and shinier in New York Luke! I don't feel the need to go back- ever."

His face was still doubtful and she looked at him for a second, trying to find the right words. Finally, she kissed his hand and then caught both his hands in hers. "Luke- I love you."

His head jerked up in surprise, "what- uh-"

"I love you Luke. I love being with you and I love the person I am when I'm with you and who I think I can be. I feel like I can conquer the world! You give me such clarity and peace and you make me laugh- although sometimes it's at you rather than with you," he scowled and she dimpled at him. "But I mean it when I say I love you and I want to stay here and make something of us Lucas." His eyes were warm as he looked at her and it was her turn to look away. Her voice was lower when she spoke again, "I- I'm sorry I ran when things got tough last time. But everything was so different last time and- and I don't want to go anywhere Luke- and you can't let me run either. I need you to fight for me." There was a silence after her words- Lucas couldn't quite believe she'd said it all out loud- it was amazing to hear finally.

He got up suddenly and knelt on the sand in front of her squeezing her hands, "I will fight for you Brooke, I promise- although, I kinda don't want you going anywhere any time soon."

She laughed and leant forward, resting her forehead against his, "me neither."

He cupped her face and kissed her, stroking her hair. She wrapped her arms around his neck and knelt down on the sand in front of him. He pulled away and brushed her cheek with his thumb, "wow we've already done car flirting, making out and some drama- pretty good first date wouldn't you say?"

"Yeah! It's up there with the best of them."

He laughed and pushed back her hair, "I don't come top?"

She shrugged teasingly, "you still don't quite beat the night Mouth and I spent in a limousine."

"Oh so that's how it is!? I'm surprised he didn't sabotage my candle arrangement."

"Maybe he didn't feel like you were any kind of competition?"

He shot her a look, "watch it."

She giggled and kissed him lightly, "you know you don't have to compete for my heart Lucas Scott."

"That's what I like to hear Brooke Davis."

He helped her back up onto her chair and kissed her shoulder before sitting back down and reaching for a basket under the table, "you want some food now?"

"God do I ever? I'm starving!"

He laughed and passed her a bowl filled with chicken salad, "Haley made this so it should be pretty good."

"Mmm, it is," she said; a forkful already in her mouth.

"She keeps trynna get me into the whole cooking thing but," he shrugged, "I prefer writing."

Brooke chuckled, "yeah and I prefer drawing but I still had to cook in New York."

He almost choked on a piece of chicken, "you did what?! You went near a stove?!"

"Shut up!" She threw a handful of lettuce leaves at him and he waved them away laughing. "Stop laughing! Lucas it's not funny I am a good cook!"

He fixed her with a look, "Brooke- I'm sorry but I can't picture you doing something as domestic as cooking."

"Who else do you think made all Jayden's meals?!" She was indignant and his laughter was making her cross.

"I don't know," he grinned teasingly, "a maid?"

"I did not have a maid!"

"But," he pulled a very serious face for a moment, "then who made your bed in the morning?"

She narrowed her eyes, "now that is just not funny Scott."

"No you're right, Nathan's more the funny Scott isn't he?"

It was Brooke's turn to choke, "are you kidding?!"

He raised his hands, "yeah I already told you babe- I'm hilarious."

"Ha- I think actually Jayden's got the funny bone in the family."

He met her eyes and she held his gaze, "the family?"

"Yeah," she smiled softly, "our family."

* * *

She finished her salad and looked up expectantly. He pulled a face, "what?"

She felt disappointment, "is there no-" wordlessly he pulled out a pink tin and revealed a chocolate cake that looked somewhere in the region of heaven and then some. She beamed and clapped her hands. "You do know me!"

He raised his eyebrows, "of course I do."

When they'd finished eating she slipped off her chair and they sat next to each other on the sand; her head resting on his shoulder and his thumb tracing patterns on her hand.

She watched the waves and couldn't help but let her mind wonder back to Jayden and what he was up to, whether he was ok, what they were going to tell him- when they were going to tell him- whether they were going to tell him...

"What are you thinking pretty girl?"

She shook her head, "nothing really- just the usual worries."

His eyes were full of concern, "tell me."

"No I want this date to be about you know- the fun Brooke and Lucas."

"I like both sides of us babe- I don't mind being serious once in a while- so long as you still give me that amazing smile once in a while."

She blushed and smiled, "deal."

"Ok," he pulled her closer and took her hands, "then spill it."

I just- I wanna know- we're gonna stick together from now on right?"

"Of course babe- every step ok?"

She nodded and felt instantly relieved, "ok."

He suddenly got up and reached for her hand, "come on- let's go for a walk and watch the sun set."

"Aw you're such an old romantic Luke."

"Damn right- I go all out for my dates with the prettiest lady in Tree Hill."

"Ohh well you know it just might pay off for you!"

He grinned and kissed her hand, "I'll hold you to that!"

_Your smile, I've missed it._

An hour later and reluctantly Brooke climbed back into the front seat of Luke's car. "Do we really have to go?" She looked at him pleadingly, "we could stay another ten minutes."

He laughed, brushing sand off his shirt, "babe we're already going to be later than you promised Jay you'd be- you don't want to ruin all that progress I've been making with him do you?"

"He doesn't know I'm out with you! I can say I..." She trailed off, "you're right; I can't lie to him."

"That's my girl," he started up the car and she twisted round to take one last look at the beach. It looked so pretty with the sky glittering with stars above the dark sea.

"Thanks for bringing me here Luke," she said softly.

He turned to smile at her, "it seemed an appropriate place for us and I wanted it to be special."

"It was all kinds of special," she said, her face lit up as she reached over to stroke his hair, "you made me proud."

He chuckled and kissed her palm before turning back out onto the road, "I had a good time too babe."

* * *

Twenty minutes later they pulled up outside Nathan and Haley's and Brooke clutched her sandy shoes to her chest trying not to get teary about the fact he couldn't come in and stay with her forever. Not that she was being dramatic at all... She shook herself and smiled at him shakily as he opened the door.

"Uh oh."

"What?!"

"I know that face pretty girl- that is not a happy face."

"I'm fine," she said firmly. He raised his eyebrows in disbelief and rested his arms on the car door; one each side of so that she had to look up into his eyes, she rolled her own. "Ok fine- I wish you didn't have to go."

His teasing eyes softened and he cupped her face and kissed her lingeringly, "me too," he said finally. "But I will one day ok?"

She smiled up at him, "ok."

He kissed her again and she nodded before padding barefoot up to the door, "I'll call you later," she said. He inclined his head and pointed at the door, she twisted curiously, "what?"

"You're the girl behind the blue door for a little while."

She eyed the Scott's blue door and smiled, "so I am-but I like being the girl behind the red door best."

"I like both," he said firmly.

She rolled her eyes as she opened the door, "you're such a charmer."

He flexed his knuckles jokingly, "gotta stay on my toes with you."

She smirked, "that's how it should be." She headed inside and then leaned back out the door, "I love you," she whispered.

He had been watching her go and broke into the biggest of smiles and nodded, "and I love you pretty girl."

She exhaled happily, and closed the door; leaning on it briefly and squeezing her eyes shut.

"Momma you're back!" Jayden's voice called joyously from the top of the stairs and he raced down towards her; flying into her arms.

"Hey sleepy head, you're awake!" She picked him up and kissed his cheek.

"Uh huh! Me and Jamie were watching Family Guy with Uncle Nathan."

Her eyes snapped towards the stairs where Nathan was suddenly guiltily trying to disappear, backing slowly up them, "you watched what?!"

Attempting a dazzling smile he jogged down to greet her, "hey how was your evening Brooke?"

"Fine," she said dryly, "how about you explain why my six year old son was watching an insanely profane television program that even I don't understand half the time?"

"Exactly Brooke- he didn't get what they were on about- you just thought it was funny right J man?" He ruffled his god son's hair and muttered crossly, "you were _not_ supposed to tell your mom about that!"

Brooke rolled her eyes and then began to head up the stairs, "not for at least another fifteen years please, ok Nate?"

"Ok," he said grinning, shoving his hands in his pockets, "but seriously, you had a good time?"

She turned and dimpled at him, "the best."

"And ahem- everyone was on their best behaviour?"

"Yes!"

"I'm just checking!"

Chuckling she carried Jayden towards the bathroom and set him down to do his teeth, "ok buddy- you brush your teeth and then we can unwrap some presents!"

"Yes finally! There are some really big ones momma!"

"I know baby; I bet they're all great," she examined her skin and decided she was starting to look old before her time- something definitely needed to be done about that before Lucas saw her again. "So what else did you get up to while I was away?"

Jayden gave his father's characteristic shrug and put his toothbrush down, "nothing much- Aunty Peyton came round and Aunty Haley went out to do some errands."

"Oh, Aunty Peyton came round?"

"Yep- she and Uncle Nathan were putting up some shelves or something as a surprise for Aunty Haley," he shrugged again and yawned, "they did grown up stuff while me and Jamie played on the Wii."

"Jamie and I," she said automatically before taking his hand and padding back to the spare room.

"Momma?"

She was thinking about Lucas and about how they were going to tell Jayden about the big grown up stuff he needed to know.

"Momma?"

"Huh? Yeah baby sorry."

"Can I open this one first?"

She glanced over at him standing on the bed, looking up at her so expectantly; his blue eyes alight with excitement and suddenly she beamed- they would deal with it all together no matter what. She dropped onto the bed next to her son and reached for a giant present; shaking it to see what was inside, "why don't you try this one first?"

"Cool!"

As she clambered into bed much later and chuckling pushed aside a mountain of wrapping paper to even be able to see her son, or a pillow, she felt more serene than she'd felt in weeks. She could actually feel a glimmer of the old optimistic Brooke and it felt good to welcome her back. Maybe everything was actually going to work out ok. And Lucas had never looked more handsome than when he'd kissed her on that stretch of beach- it was an excellent image to go to sleep with.

**So I know it was kind of just Brucas fluff but I just watched 3x09 and I felt like doing something loved up. Hope you enjoyed and as ever- I love a nice review!**


	19. Tree Hill Home

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or Brooke's dream house unfortunately...**

_She was fiercely independent, Brooke Davis._

Brooke opened her eyes and sleepily rolled over to switch off her alarm. The noise kept going and she realised it was her cell, she fumbled around in the bed clothes- she and Lucas had been texting late into the night- and snapped it open, "hello?" Her raspy voice was croaky and she cleared her throat loudly.

"_Brooke! Where the hell are you?!?"_

"Huh Millie? What's up?"

"_Oh nothing much- it's just that it's five past ten and you were supposed to be here at nine thirty."_

Brooke sat up with a start, "oh god Millie I'm so sorry!" She threw back the covers and dashed across to the bathroom still on the phone, "I'll be twenty minutes tops!"

"_Brooke this estate agent is evil- she's already glaring at me and muttering about her time being wasted,"_ Millicent was practically whispering down the phone. "_I'm this close to telling her where to go and then you lose the house!"_

"Ok take a deep breath Mills- I swear I owe you big!"

"_You owe me more than that!"_

She splashed her face with water and then scraped her hair back- securing it with an Alice band. She hopped back into the bedroom, discarding her sleeper shorts and searched under a load of old clothes to find a skirt that was clean. "Jayden, baby?"

There was a silence from the pile of bed sheets and she bounced onto the bed next to them, shaking them gently, "oi mister!"

"Mmmm shhh momma."

"Don't you shush me Jayden Sawyer Davis! Come on little man I need you to get up- we're gonna go look at a house!"

"For us?"

"Uh huh."

"Mmm I like our house in New York," he said sleepily.

"I know so do I sweetness but this would be another one for us to stay in."

He pushed his hands up over his face, "but when would we stay here? I like it at home."

Brooke bit her lip, "but you like it here too right baby?"

"It's ok, I like being near Jamie."

"Exactly," she rolled over and poked him in the ribs, "so come on mister- come and see the house momma likes."

He writhed around laughing and was awake in seconds- it was the perfect trick. She swapped over her giant Springsteen tee shirt for a loose camisole and threw her purse and cell into her falling apart Prada bag- man she really needed a new bag.

Jayden grabbed her leg and twisted round on it, "I'm ready momma."

She smiled down at him fondly, "good boy- let's go." She took his hand and they headed down the stairs and into the kitchen. Nathan looked up from throwing things into his sports bag.

"Hey Davis kids, what's going on?"

"Nathan you're up early!"

"I'm about to hit the gym," he said easily, passing her a glass of orange juice, "juice?"

She took it and passed it to Jayden, "thanks Nate. Drink up sweetie and have this banana, then we better go- we can go to Karen's for a proper breakfast afterwards ok?"

Jayden nodded and gave her a toothy smile, "I need to clean my teeth."

She glanced at her cell buzzing with a message from Millicent yelling at her again and shook her head, "its ok baby- I'll let you off this once."

"You want me to drive you somewhere?" Nathan was glancing at his own cell distractedly.

She shook her head, "no thanks- we're gonna go check out a potential- umm, holiday home," she glanced at Jayden and then made wide eyes at Nathan. He nodded understandingly and ruffled Jayden's hair.

"Have fun with your mom dude- make sure she doesn't get carried away by any strange men ok?"

Jayden flexed his arm and beamed, "I can do that!"

Brooke chuckled and took his hand, "that's my boy- come on then buddy, let's go."

"Hey Brooke if you don't want a lift, what car are you taking?"

She span round and waved Haley's car keys around, "I asked Hales last night."

Nathan paused, surprise on his face, "she- she agreed to let you borrow her car?!?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Does she know _you're_ driving?"

"Nathan!" She stuck her tongue out, "I can drive!"

"Yeah I know that- but well?"

She picked up a cushion from the nearest sofa and threw it at him; he dodged it laughing.

"I hate you Nathan Scott!"

He gave her a wide grin and took a sip of orange juice, "you love me."

She rolled her eyes and moved towards the door, looking down at her son, "promise me you'll never be like your uncle baby."

Jayden looked up at her in confusion, "but I thought Uncle Nathan was a good guy."

She helped him into the car and touched his cheeks quickly, "oh he is! Sorry for the confusion Jay- I was just teasing."

He nodded contentedly, "good- I like Uncle Nathan."

She squinted as she reversed out of the drive and murmured, "uh huh- me too buddy." As they pulled onto the road she took a chance, "what do you think of umm, Uncle Lucas?"

He was switching on his play station and shrugged casually, "he's cool."

She cast a glance at him in her mirror; his eyes were focused on the tiny screen, completely unsuspicious. She sighed inwardly; she was so bad at being subtle.

_Brilliant and beautiful and brave._

"Ok- well that's good," she nodded and muttered to herself, "that's good" She clicked her tongue between teeth thinking quickly, she needed to find some way to start easing Lucas into Jay's life more. But god, how? She swallowed and tried to sound casual, "so, so you wouldn't mind if maybe- he hung out with us a little bit more, you know, with our group?"

He shrugged again, "I guess. He frowns a lot though."

She chuckled and indicated, "he is a little bit serious honey- but you get used to it and when he does smile," she smiled to herself, "it's worth it."

She realised she might have over-shared and checked her mirror- thankfully Jayden didn't even appear to be listening. She pulled up outside the house and leant against the steering wheel for a second, "wow," she whispered. Jayden looked up expectantly and both mother and son gazed up at a large white house with fading yellow summer roses round the door. It looked like a dream house.

Millie came running out of the house looking stressed, "thank god!" Brooke jumped out of the car and began unbuckling Jayden's seatbelt.

"I'm sorry Mills!"

"I swear you owe me big time- hey Jay man," Millicent bent down and kissed Jayden's cheek before picking him up, "you wanna come check out your new hou-"

Brooke promptly trod on Millicent's boot and her head jerked up, "mother f-"

"Why don't we go inside Mills?"

Millicent was looking at her strangely and put Jayden down- he ran ahead as they moved inside the house.

"What's up?" Millicent whispered hurriedly.

"Jay isn't completely up for living here permanently- he has his school and everything. For now it's just a holiday home!"

"Yeah but Brooke you-"

"Hello my name's Brooke Davis- I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting." She wasn't sure she could admit to Millie that living in Tree Hill took her out of her comfort zone- completely.

A smartly dressed red head shook her hand firmly and raised her eyebrows at Brooke's outfit, "you sure you're Brooke Davis?"

Brooke balked and was about to respond when Millicent quickly stepped on Brooke's toes, "this is definitely Brooke and now she's here do you think you could give us the tour please?"

The woman rolled her eyes and then finally gave a minimal smile, "I'm Gina and you're standing in the first hall- if you'll follow me through here-"

"Wow," Brooke let out a small gasp as she looked round. The main living room had sliding doors onto a decking area with a large table and chairs. There was still a rainbow parasol standing in the centre of the table and Brooke felt like it was kind of a sign- this could totally be their home. The view of her favourite beach- Lucas would love this view.

Jayden came running in through the open plan kitchen- every room led into another- his eyes wide with excitement, "momma guess what?!"

She caught his hand and he pulled her towards the kitchen, "what baby?"

"There's a pool!"

"No way!" Brooke pulled an apologetic face at Gina and Millicent, "sorry- do you mind if we check out the outside first?" She let her son lead her outside and then caught his shirt, "hey buddy- not too close to the edge!"

_In two years she had grown more than anyone I had ever known._

"Not at all," Gina said briskly, now she'd got over her initial annoyance at Brooke being late she was in full official saleswoman role. At the back of the kitchen there were glass sliding doors leading to the outdoor area. Gina gestured as they walked, pointing out details about the house. "The garden goes right down to the beach- of course there's a fence and a gate in between and the beach is private, _obviously_." She led them down the garden as Jayden danced round the pool excitedly.

"This is really cool mom!"

She put a hand up to protect her eyes from the morning sun, "yeah we definitely don't have space like this in New York do we?"

Gina pointed up towards the house, "the master bedroom has a sea view with the balcony you can see and there are three other bedrooms- all but one have en suites. There's also a large bathroom with a roll top bath and showers dotted around the house- including one to the left of the kitchen that you can use after leaving the pool area. There's a large shed or sun room further down the garden and you can see it if you'd like?"

Brooke scrunched up her face and shook her head, "no I think we're ok- sheds are for like tools and stuff right? I'm not really into all that. Can we see the rest of the inside now?"

"Sure."

They walked back through what she could tell was an amazing rose garden and Jayden was leaning over the edge of the pool looking down intently.

"Jay not too close," she warned, "come on now- let's go see which room would be yours."

"I can pick?"

"Of course!"

Jayden swung on her hand excitedly and they followed Gina inside. As she looked round the inside rooms, spacious and full of light Brooke couldn't imagine living anywhere else. They headed upstairs and Gina opened a double set of French doors, "this is the master bedroom with-"

"Oh my god, a walk in closet?!"

"Yes Ma'am!"

Jayden appeared at the door, "mom I like this room down here; look-" he dragged her down the corridor and pulled into the end room to examine it. The room was a deep blue with a cubby hole and a window looking out onto the front of the house. It was a perfect sized room for Jay. She wasn't sure she liked it being all the way down the corridor from her- but then again if Lucas ever stayed over... Oh god Luke- would he want his own room? Would he stay over?

_You know I hate to sleep alone._

She realised Gina and Millicent were looking at her expectantly and she smiled excitedly, "you don't need me to tell you this place is amazing- can we talk details?"

Gina's face lit up and then fell, "but I- I haven't even shown you the kitchen!"

Millicent snorted, "yeah she doesn't really need to see that."

Brooke glared at her and then smiled quickly at Gina, "it's not the most important room in the house but I would like to see any spare rooms downstairs- I'm gonna need a big study." She figured Luke might like it to work late in.

Gina nodded understandingly, "there's actually a living room next to the bedroom."

"I could totally knock the wall through," Brooke said excitedly, moving quickly and opening the door to the next room. "Oh my gosh it's perfect!" She wished Lucas was here with her and had to touch her forehead quickly to pull herself together.

Jayden swung on her arm, oblivious, "I think it's awesome!"

"I'm- I'm glad you like it baby- you think we should buy it?"

"Can Walker stay in the house too?"

She chuckled, "yes of course." She followed him down the stairs and into the main living room space. Millicent and Gina were talking contracts behind them. Brooke bent down in front of her son and asked him tentatively; "you think you'd mind living here you know, semi permanently?"

He looked up at her in confusion, his blue eyes perplexed, "what does permanently mean?"

"Well-" she considered him for a second and then tried to explain, "come here sweetie," she pulled her son onto the plastic covered sofa and he twisted onto her knee until he was comfortable. She stroked his hair back and took a deep breath, "I love you more than anything else in the whole world baby and that is gonna last forever- that love is never going to end- it's permanent. _That's_ what permanent means."

"And we'd live here instead of New York permanenenetly?"

"Permanently! Well we could live here some of the time and you could go to school here- and we could live in New York some of the time too. What do you think?"

He pulled a face, "I like my school in New York."

"I know you do baby but- there's a lot going on right now and I think here might be a good place to start over and have some time to ourselves."

He looked at her dubiously, "just us?"

She pulled him tighter and paused, "well- there's something else I wanna talk to you about actually."

"Brooke- Gina and I have the details down if you're ready to sign?"

Brooke stood up quickly, half cursing and half relieved that she hadn't had to have _that_ conversation with Jayden yet. She looked down at the papers Gina was enthusiastically holding out and hesitated- Jayden seemed so very reluctant to leave what he knew in New York. She swallowed; she wanted to do what was right for Jayden before anything else. "Umm, I'm really sorry but do you think I can have twenty four hours to think about it?"

Gina looked slightly put out and then smiled quickly, "sure- then I am sorry but it is going to have to go back up on the market."

Brooke nodded, distractedly, her cell was buzzing and she reached for it- "I completely understand." She glanced at the message; it was from Lucas, "_I can't stop thinking about you. What are you up to later?"_

She bit her lip and felt her cheeks heat up, "Brooke?" She looked up, flustered and cleared her throat.

"Uh sorry Mills- look Gina; I guarantee I'll give you an answer within twenty four hours. Can I call you?"

"Sure," Gina reached out to shake her hand, "let me know. Thank you so much Miss Davis."

"No, thank _you_ for your time," Brooke said smiling at her quickly.

"Thank you very much," Jayden said in his best grown up voice, "I liked the house very much."

"Well thank you sweetie!" Gina smiled at Brooke, "he's adorable."

Brooke beamed, "thanks."

They headed out to their cars and Millicent mouthed "call me" to Brooke.

Brooke waved and smiled, "you're a star," she called out.

"Yeah yeah," Millicent said dismissing her smirking, "and so very unappreciated. See you later Jayden buddy."

"Bye Millie!"

Brooke pulled up outside Karen's Cafe and Jayden jumped out excitedly to tell Karen about the house. Brooke quickly text Lucas a reply, _"Babysitting- you feel like being seventeen again and joining me? The parents will be out late..."_

She really did feel like a teenager; every time she thought about him she felt butterflies and just getting a text from him sent shivers down her spine. She locked the car and straightened up , glancing across the road. As she did so she noticed a familiar face coming out of the cd store and peering at his cell phone. She could feel her heart racing just looking at him; god he was so damn attractive. His face lit up as he looked down at his cell and she watched as he smiled and then looked up and caught her eyes. She inclined her head, biting her lip hard and he grinned, raising his eyebrows, before glancing to the left and then jogging across the road. She checked behind her to see Jayden talking animatedly to Karen and then let Lucas's arms slip round her waist and carry her several steps down the sidewalk.

"Hey pretty," he whispered in her ear.

She pulled away to look him in the eye and kinked an eyebrow, "you get my message?"

"When?" He asked teasingly.

"Just!"

"Oh- no that was my accountant- he sends me some really dirty texts sometimes."

She raised her eyebrows, "oh well I guess you won't need my company tonight..."

He laughed and kissed her quickly, "I never said that."

"Yeah but if your accountant's got plans for you guys-"

"Uh huh he's far too vigorous for me."

"Oh well you're definitely no use to me then!"

He smiled and twisted their fingers together as they moved to a bench just down the street from Karen's, "I'd make all kinds of exceptions for a pretty brunette like you."

She smirked, "now that's more like it."

They sat down and he pulled her closer, "how long have you got?"

"I had about thirty seconds two minutes ago so minus three minutes?"

"Better move fast then," he said huskily before bending to kiss her again.

She kissed him back for a moment and then pulled away, "how are you this morning?"

"Perfect," he said softly, "how was the house?"

"Perfect! Oh god Luke it was beyond perfect- Jay loved, I loved it- it was amazing for us. I think we'll really like living there- if I can persuade Jay it's better than New York."

He nodded and squinted up at the road, "that's great for you guys."

She felt puzzled, he seemed less than enthusiastic for her-"yeah I loved it- hey and you know there was a walk in closet!?"

"Awesome!"

"Yeah that would mean there'd be a lot of spare room for you know- stuff."

"Ok."

She cast him a side glance , "yeah and you know, there's umm, a living room next to the master bedroom that I was thinking would make a really great study."

He nodded, still looking out at the road, "you need a study?"

"Uh- well it wouldn't be for me..." She cleared her throat nervously, "hey and- there are lots of bedrooms- I can have everybody over..."

"Cool."

"Cool?"

"What? I mean there are only two of you so you won't need that many rooms right?"

"Well," she felt stunned, "I- I was thinking it wouldn't just be for us..."

"Oh would Millicent move in with you?"

"No you idiot!" She stood up suddenly off the bench and he looked up at her in confusion.

"Brooke-"

"I'm asking you if you'd maybe want to consider the possibility of even looking at the damn perfect house because maybe you'd want to oh I don't know, keep some of your stuff in it or even maybe stay over slash live with us- not right now of course because I can't seem to find the right words to tell Jay about you but maybe in the next ten years or so but before I have to wake up and apply my make up before you get up and see me cause I don't need that extra pressure-"

He broke her off suddenly by kissing her, wrapping his arms round her waist and lifting her off her feet briefly. She pulled away in surprise, "Luke-"

"Of course I'd wanna live with you Brooke Davis."

"You would? Because you know I'm kinda crazy these days."

He chuckled, "you've always been kinda crazy," he pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear and smiled at her, "but I love you for it."

"So... You wanna maybe come check out the house later?"

"I do."

_In many ways, our journey is just beginning..._

She felt dizzy with happiness for half a second and then frowned slightly, "Luke- what are we gonna tell Jay first? I keep trying and failing and-" she faltered and looked up at him desperately.

"Ok first- you have to relax baby, we'll get through this in our own way- there's no right way to do this remember?" She nodded and leant against his chest, he traced circles across her back, thinking hard. "Why don't we start with a basic- we've been friends a long time and now we'd like to start seeing more of each other and how does he feel about that- something along those lines?"

"That sounds doable- you wanna do it now?"

His eyes widened nervously and then he smiled, "if you're sure?"

"Yeah," she took his hand and pulled him towards the cafe, "let's rip the first band aid."

"Ahh you're so romantic babe!"

The door pinged and Brooke felt breathless with nerves as they approached the counter where Jayden was eating a bagel. "Hey there mister- what you got there?"

"Cream cheese and jam!"

"Not a mix I'd like to try," she sat down next to him and Lucas stood behind her, a hand discreetly resting on her back for support.

Karen came over and immediately noticed her son and Brooke standing so close and took a pause, "oh," she composed herself quickly and leant over the counter to wipe Jayden's cheek, "you two want coffee?"

Brooke pulled a face and bit her lip nervously, "I don't think coffee's a good idea right now, I'm a little bit wired."

Jayden looked up at his mother with interest, "you ok momma?"

"Yeah sweetie I'm great," she ruffled his hair quickly, "I just- I want to talk to you about something."

Jayden rubbed his hands clean and then looked up at her expectantly. "You know I love you very much Jay honey and I don't want you to feel upset or pushed aside or in any way less than the most important man in my life when I tell you this but-" she paused awkwardly, god this was going awfully, Jayden looked extremely confused.

Lucas suddenly stepped forward and crouched so that he could meet Jayden's eye, "Jayden- I'd like your permission to see your mom in more than a friendship kind of way."

"What kind of way then?" Jayden was eyeing Lucas suspiciously.

"Well- I'd take her out you know- to the movies, buy her flowers- I really like your mom Jayden. But if that's not ok with you then- we can work this out I promise."

Jayden was silent and Brooke could barely breathe. Karen came round to stand next to Jayden and rubbed his shoulders, "you ok buddy," Brooke asked raspily, "you wanna tell me what you're thinking?"

There was another silence and then Jayden looked up at her and said simply, "If you go out- can I stay up late?"

The laughter was slightly hysterical on Brooke's side but she felt complete relief that this was Jayden's first reaction.

"Well I don't know about that- how late are we talking?"

Jayden grinned and shrugged and then pointed at Lucas in a very Nathan like pose- "if you hurt my mom- me and my godfather will whoop your ass!"

"Jayden! Don't say that word," Brooke warned but she was smiling.

"So," Lucas leant forward, "you don't mind?"

_Ugh, that's my mom, not a visual I want in my head._

Jayden shrugged and then looked up in confusion, "weren't you with my Aunty Peyton the other day?"

"Umm," Lucas faltered and looked at Brooke for help.

"Baby that's kinda complicated but you know what, if me and you go for a walk now how about I explain everything a little better and we can have a proper talk?"

Jayden pushed away his plate and jumped off the stool, "ok," he reached up to hug Karen, "thank you for my breakfast!"

"You're welcome sweetie, come and see me again soon ok?"

"Ok," Jayden looked up at Lucas seriously, "bye Lucas."

"See you man."

Brooke took his hand and she knew she wanted to make some sort of gesture and so reached up and kissed Luke's cheek, "I'll see you later?"

He beamed at her and briefly touched her chin, "see you later pretty girl."

Lucas and Karen smiled at one another and watched the pretty brunette disappear out of the cafe holding hands with the mini blonde; a sweet symmetry of what they had been once.

**So I know I used quotes from the book but I think in my story Lucas still wrote a book! So step forward for Jayden and Brucas! I know it was mainly house stuff but the next chapter's gonna be big so this was kind of a nice easing in...**


	20. Tatters Of What We Were

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the brilliant reviews guys- they're awesome! **

Brooke closed her eyes and wished she could drown out the loud sobs coming from the hunched up figure in front of her. The golden head was bowed and the visible shoulder blades racked up and down with the crying. The noise felt so forced, so unnecessary, Brooke thought how undignified it was. She herself sat motionless feeling like this was a complete de ja vu. A betrayal that had caught her so by surprise she had felt a pang of physical pain across her chest. And so many other people would be hurt by this, doubly betrayed. God, what a bitch. What a _bastard_. Idiots. Complete-

"God, i'm so sorry Brooke; so sorry!"

She gave no reply. Instead she dropped her head into her hands for a few seconds, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. She was trying to drown out the worthless apologies. Shut up shut up shut up! God did she not realise what she'd done!? She felt the anger boil over and swallowed hard to hold it back.

"You have to believe me- it was selfish and I wasn't thinking, and I'm so sorry!"

She stayed silent and glanced at her fingernails, swallowing again.

"Brooke it was a mistake- I would never do anything like this-"

Green tear stained eyes looked up now, imploring her to believe her, "Brooke please! It didn't mean anything!"

Brooke stood up sharply, "I can't even hear you say that right now Peyton." She moved towards the door and Peyton called out desperately.

"Brooke please wait, I- you have to-"

Brooke turned back and strode towards the sofa and with one quick movement slapped her former best friend with the force of every emotion that had been building inside of her.

_You are going to be lucky if the next time I don't use my fist._

"I don't have to do _anything_ Peyton!" She practically screamed the words.

Peyton clutched the side of her face in shock and Brooke glanced down at her bright red palm; she couldn't even feel the pain right now. "He's a_ father_ Peyton. You knew that and yet- you knew _exactly_ what you were doing." She could barely say the words, tears were threatening to fall and she had to get out, get away- "Just stay the hell away from my family Peyton."

* * *

**Hours earlier.**

Brooke rubbed her sleepy eyes and padded into the Scott's kitchen. She pushed on the coffee machine and with a start realised that Haley was sitting at the counter, staring into space.

"Haley?"

Her friend's eyes were glazed over and Brooke moved forward, waving a hand in front of them, "Hales!" She said loudly and snapped her fingers.

Haley visibly jumped and spilt her own coffee over the rim of the mug she'd absent mindedly been clutching. "Oh hey Brooke- you ok? You want some pancakes?"

Brooke frowned and shook her head, "uh huh- you don't get off that easy, what's going on with you?"

Haley tried to laugh and stood up, moving towards the oven, "nothing! Absolutely nothing. Hey- thanks again for watching Jamie and Grace last night- were they any trouble?"

Brooke beamed, "they were angels Hales- you have the best behaved kids on the planet. Luke and I had a blast."

Haley gave her a wan smile, "that's great girly."

Brooke sat down on the stool Haley had been previously occupying and raised an eyebrow, "and what about you and Mr Scott- you guys got in awful late- how was the big date?"

She could have sworn she heard Haley scoff but it could have been a cough as her friend's back was facing her. "It was- fine- great even. So you and Lucas- you guys official now?" She turned and gave Brooke a bright smile.

Brooke smiled shyly, "yeah we told Jayden yesterday that we were 'seeing each other' and he seemed ok with it. Thank god- I swear he thought Luke was the devil only a week ago."

Haley chuckled, "amazing what a trip in the hospital and a massive birthday present will do to win over a kid's affection eh?"

"It's not like that," Brooke protested, "he really does think Luke's ok now."

Haley held up her hands, "hey, I'm not judging!"

Brooke nodded dubiously and eyed Haley's slender back as she turned to open the fridge, "Hales-"

"Yeah?"

"Is everything, ok?"

Haley kept her head in the fridge and placed butter and milk on the side, "yeah I promise- i'm just so tired with term starting again and Gracie's not sleeping great."

"Good morning ladies," Nathan appeared and the fridge door slammed shut. Brooke jumped and glanced over at Haley, startled. Nathan winced and attempted to ignore the action, reaching for a coffee mug.

"Hey Brooke- thanks for looking after Jamie and Grace last night- you were kind of wiped out when we got back- they weren't too much of a handful I hope?"

Brooke gave him a sympathetic smile and then shook her head quickly, "no they were great- Jamie and Jay just played guitar hero with Luke and me and Gracie went over some dress designs- then she decided she didn't like them and spit up all over my favourite one."

Nathan attempted a laugh but Haley's glowering eyes were making him feel extremely awkward. Brooke shifted uncomfortably and then reached quickly for a banana, "well I'm showing Luke the house this morning so I better go get ready."

"Yeah," Nathan nodded shortly, "sure."

Brooke dived out of the room and up the stairs, wow, what the hell was all that about? She'd been asleep on the sofa when Nathan and Haley had arrived home last night- she and Lucas had been watching some ridiculously soppy movie where the main guy appeared to screw up every other minute but get forgiven in the next due to his exceptional good looks. Lucas had scowled intermittently throughout about it. But she hadn't heard them arguing or anything... She stepped in and out of the shower quickly, dragging her hair into a bun and then throwing on a Clothes Over Bros strapless summer dress. She reached down and kissed her son's cheek and then whispered in his ear. "Hey buddy, you awake?"

"Uh huh."

"Ok well just sit up and listen to me for one minute ok?"

His gorgeous face scrunched up in reluctance and she chuckled quietly, finally he opened one eye and then the other, "you look nice momma."

"Well thank you Mr. Sunshine." He sat up slowly and she smoothed the pillow behind him before stroking his hair, "now listen, I'm gonna be out this morning doing some business stuff but you and Jamie are gonna be hanging out with Jamie's Uncle Skillz so I want you on your best behaviour ok?"

"Ok, we're gonna go to the river court Jamie said."

"Wow buddy! That's one of my favourite places ever you know? I hope you like it."

"Do you think Walker would like it?"

"Yeah I'm sure he would- maybe we'll see what he thinks when he sees it for himself next week."

Jayden's eyes lit up, "really?! Walker's coming here?"

"Yeah I thought he ought to check out Tree Hill- see if the dog population is acceptable for him."

Jayden wrapped his arms round his mother's neck, "that's awesome mom, thank you!"

"You're welcome baby- now you get some more sleep and I'll be back later ok? I love you."

"I love you too momma," she kissed his forehead and grabbed her bag before descending into the hall. She realised she had been oblivious to the angry voice flying from the kitchen and moved slowly towards the door- she'd left her damn cell phone on charge in there last night.

"I had a damn phone call and I was gone ten minutes- you just couldn't let it go!"

"Nathan I was sitting alone at that table for nearly half an hour! It was our first time alone together in weeks and you abandoned me!"

"For god's sake I did not abandon you Haley- you spent the first half of the meal bitching about me and the second half ignoring me- the phone call was a welcome interruption!"

Brooke gasped, they'd had a fight? She suddenly heard her own cell phone ringing and realised she had to go inside.

"That was completely uncalled for Nathan."

"You keep pushing me Haley- I don't know what you want from me anymore!"

Gingerly Brooke tapped on the door and both voice died, she pushed open the door and they both looked up flustered.

"Hey- I'm sorry, it's just- that's my phone," she gestured to the buzzing phone and Haley passed it her wordlessly. "Thanks," Brooke said quickly before retreating into the hall and snapping it open quickly; "hi broody- I'll be right out."

* * *

She clambered into the safe haven of Luke's car and exhaled loudly.

"You ok pretty?"

She opened her eyes and smiled at him quickly, "uh huh," she reached forward and kissed him. "The Scott's were having a tiff."

"Oh," Lucas shrugged and began to reverse, "I think Haley's annoyed that Nathan didn't tell her he had a job offer- that's all."

Brooke breathed a sigh of relief, "is that what he told you last night?"

"Oh no- Haley mentioned it- Nate went to the gym after dinner- Hales came back before him."

Brooke nodded, "fair enough." She frowned for a second and then felt Lucas squeeze her hand and she smiled up at him. "I can't wait for you to see this babe- it's beautiful."

"I don't doubt it; it would have to be for you to find it acceptable."

"Damn right!"

_We're gonna be a power couple. He's gonna be a famous novelist and I'm gonna have a fabulous fashion line._

Brooke span round the empty living room and turned to glance at Lucas, beaming happily, "what do you think boyfriend?"

He leant against one of the pillars and smiled at her, "I think it's amazing- almost as amazing as hearing you call me that again."

She dimpled at him and swung on the other side of the pillar, "well alright then, boyfriend."

He bent and kissed her and she stood on her tiptoes, relishing the moment alone, wrapping her arms round his neck-

"Miss Davis? What do the two of you think?"

Brooke turned guiltily and smiled apologetically at Gina, "ahem, umm, could we have another minute Gina?"

The red head gave an expertly patient smile and nodded, clicking a pen and beginning to write something, "sure- take your time Miss Davis."

Brooke beamed and led Lucas round the kitchen area, "what do you really think then?"

"I love it babe- I think you've found a great place."

"Millie found it," she said lightly, "but she knows my taste."

"She's a great assistant," he said teasingly.

She shot him a look and then smirked, "yeah she is."

She gazed round herself and nodded inwardly, it was definitely the right house for her. She wasn't quite ready to sign with _Lucas_- maybe that would come later, but for now the cautious side of her wanted to buy this for her. She wanted to own something that was just hers. It was for Jayden too, and for Lucas, but she was proud of the fact she could buy her own property and she wanted to celebrate that.

He kissed her cheek now as they wondered out onto the balcony and sat down on the wooden chairs. "These need a bit of work," he murmured running his hand along one.

"Aw look at you being all carpenter like." She was playing with his hand across the table and he narrowed his eyes at her warningly.

"I was being serious."

"You know I have no problem with any kind of work that involves a nice smudged up wife beater," she replied lightly.

He shook his head and pulled a face, "nope- you've gone and insulted me one too many times Davis, no hot wife beater moments for you."

She pouted, "not funny!"

Chuckling Lucas reached across and kissed her hand, "well maybe if you ask really nicely."

"I'll think about it!"

He wrapped his fingers round hers and then turned to gaze out across the beach, "this view is really something."

"Yeah," she smiled faintly, "I thought you'd like it."

"Are you kidding? I love the whole place- I think it's a great investment, a great place for our kids- I mean for Jayden to grow up."

"Kids?!" She looked at him incredulously, "you meant more than one?"

He met her surprised look with one of complete seriousness, "I sure as hell hope so."

She inhaled slowly, holding his gaze, "well I guess I could think about that too," she said finally. She swallowed hard and he smiled slowly at her, tipping his head to one side, "what?" She felt nervous suddenly and touched her hair, "what?!"

"You look so beautiful right now."

She pushed his hand away laughing, "no I don't! It's way too early and I look like crap."

"You could never look like crap Brooke. Now, come on- can't you imagine it? You and me sitting out here with some drinks, warm summers evening, Jay playing some basketball by the pool with two little brothers, little baby girl that looks exactly like her mom sitting in a pram next to us. Later on we take full advantage of that amazing master bedroom up there, enjoy the view from the balcony, check on the kids, falling to sleep together..." He trailed off and shrugged, "just a thought."

She wiped her eyes quickly and then smiled at him, squeezing his hand, "sounds like a pretty perfect plan to me."

_We're still gonna have time for a big family. _

_Two boys and a girl._

_And I'm gonna coach the little league. _

_Oh and I'll bake treats for the team- or buy them!_

There was a rap on the glass and they both turned to see Gina doing her best to remain patient, "any decisions made?"

Brooke cleared her throat and stood up quickly, "I'll take it," she said without hesitation. Behind her Lucas smiled and watched proudly as Brooke began signing papers. She turned and winked at him before continuing to swirl her signature across pages.

Gina left them on the drive to lock up the house and Brooke wrapped her arms round Luke's waist tightly, "oh my god, I can't believe I just brought a house."

"Congratulations pretty girl."

"Thank you!"

He slipped an arm over her shoulder and they moved towards the car, "hey you have time for a celebratory breakfast?"

"Yeah I think so- I don't have any plans for my job right now- and Jay's hanging out with Jamie and Skillz before school starts tomorrow."

"Wow, he's gonna go in to school?"

"No Jamie's going back tomorrow- but I've been thinking about suggesting it to him- you know, see how it goes. What do you think?"

"Well, the school's great- obviously or Hales would no way let Jamie go there- and it would keep his education up." Lucas felt his phone go off in his pocket now and glanced down at it. "Hey- can we skip breakfast- I completely forgot about something- maybe get some lunch instead?"

"What? You got a hot date?"

He laughed quickly, "no!"

She looked up at him in surprise, "well ok- I mean is everything ok?"

"Everything's great- you just brought a house- I have the prettiest girl in Tree Hill all to myself- my book is coming along- of course everything is ok. I just gotta take care of something. Lunch later?"

She nodded and shrugged, "sure. It gives me some time for window shopping then!"

Lucas walked Brooke to the Naley front door and kissed her, "I'll see you later then gorgeous lady."

"Bye boyfriend," she said softly.

* * *

She closed the front door behind her happily and leant against it gently. On the other side of the door Lucas jogged down the steps whistling contentedly. She listened to the slightly off key tune and giggled. She let out another excited laugh and clapped her hands. This was a good day. She dived up the stairs deciding that she was going to pack and-

"You know what Nathan? I really don't feel like going out ever if you can't even be bothered to spend the time with me. Or even tell me what you're doing with your time."

Brooke paused in amazement, they were still fighting? She moved back down the stairs towards the living room where she could see them both, inches apart and screaming at each other. Both of their faces were livid.

"You never listen to me!"

"Oh that is lame Nathan- blame our communications break down on _me_ and you get off guilt free? You know what, that is just pathetic."

"Oh so now I'm pathetic?"

"Oh stop being so childish about this!"

"Dammit Haley I already told you! It's not me that's being evasive all the time- I'm not the one going out at all hours, I'm the one who stays home and looks after our kids."

"Well if looking after our children is such a problem for you maybe you should have said so earlier!"

"It's not a problem and don't you dare twist my words like that- I have always loved staying at home- it was you who said you were sick of me moping around."

"I can't believe you would even think I would say something like that- I said-"

"I know what you said Haley- what was it now? You said I didn't have any ambitions and then you asked me if I was bored of my life. Does that imply you're bored with your life here- with our life?"

"Oh go to hell Nathan of course it doesn't!"

"Then tell me Haley- what the hell did you mean by it?"

He grabbed at Haley's arms suddenly and Brooke felt alarmed, quickly she cleared her throat. They both looked at her startled and Nathan dropped Haley's arms before stalking past her angrily. Haley touched her neck embarrassed and then busied herself fluffing cushions, "I'm so sorry you had to see that."

Brooke stayed silent, staring at her friend with worried eyes. Haley met them and waved her hand quickly, "I'm fine Brooke- really."

Brooke bit her lip and moved across to Haley, reaching out to her. Haley sank into her friend's shoulder and began to cry. It was a heavy, aching sob and Brooke felt powerless to help her. She made soothing noises and stroked Haley's hair gently. "It's ok Hales- it's ok."

"No it's not Brooke! We've just been drifting and god, I feel so lost! I thought having Gracie would change things but lately-"

Brooke felt tears well in her own eyes and kissed the top of Haley's head, "it's ok Hales- it's gonna be ok. You guys will work through this- you're Nathan and Haley. You're the original high school sweethearts! You made us all believe in love. You can get through this."

_When life gets hard, when things change... True love remains the same._

Haley's sobbing eventually subsided and she smiled at Brooke faintly, "thanks Brooke. I'm sorry about that- I'm just so _tired_!"

Brooke gave a quick shrug and smiled, "that's what I'm here for tutor mom. Hey- Luke totally blew me off for breakfast, you feel like going to Karen's and splurging on muffins?"

Haley smiled again, "that would be great," she said weakly.

"Deb has Gracie right? You can totally leave work till later."

"You're a bad influence Brooke Davis!" Haley said warningly, but she seemed much better suddenly and touched her friend's arm, "and I'm glad you're here."

Brooke smiled at her, "me too."

* * *

They pulled up outside Karen's and jumped out, Brooke taking her friend's hand and kissing it briefly, "you ok now Hales?"

"I feel a lot better thanks, just being out of the house helped."

Karen looked up and beamed as they came in, "hey girls! How are you both?" She hugged them tightly and then pulled away, "Haley you look tired- Gracie giving you trouble?"

Haley smiled wordlessly and instead Brooke spoke up, "we are in serious need of some massively fattening muffins and big cups of coffee please Karen!"

Karen met her eye and nodded silently, "coming right up," she said softly.

Haley and Brooke sat at the counter and Karen passed them both blueberry muffins and winked, "my son mentioned you might have just come into some fine property Miss Davis- congratulations."

Brooke beamed, "thank you!"

Haley looked at her surprised, "Brooke you never said!"

"I signed this morning with Luke there- I would have been celebrating with him but he had to go somewhere."

Karen twisted suddenly and disappeared underneath the counter, "oh is that right?"

Brooke raised an eyebrow, "yeah- hey is Peyton around? I wanted to tell her too."

Karen reappeared and nodded, gesturing upstairs, "she's living above the cafe for a while- she was moving boxes in through the back door a while ago- go say hi- Haley and I will just have a quick catch up down here ok honey?"

Brooke beamed and mouthed 'thank you' to the older lady who nodded and winked, she knew Haley needed to talk. Brooke bounded up the stairs suddenly excited again. She could totally celebrate buying a house tonight- Hales would be up for a night out, she needed to blow off some steam, and Peyton would totally be on board.

"Hey P Sawyer," she clambered over an abandoned box and pushed open the door, "Miss Roe herself told me you were up-" she froze mid sentence and stared completely horrified at the sight in front of her. A passionate embrace was broken apart as Brooke covered her eyes and backed out of the room.

"Oh jesus."

"Shit."

Across a dusty mattress were discarded coats, a set of car keys, cell phones, and a half tipped up box with cds falling out of it. And behind the bed, the sight that made Brooke want to hurl; frantically scrambling to adjust were Peyton and Nathan.

Blindly Brooke ran down the stairs and out through the back door into the street. Oh god oh god oh god. It was a dream, a hallucination, she'd imagined it!

"Brooke!" Nathan dashed behind her, adding insult to injury by pulling down his tee shirt in front of her- almost clarifying that what she had just witnessed hadn't been some horrifying nightmare.

"What the hell are you doing Nathan?!"

Suddenly it was all making sense. Peyton and Nathan being in sync, Nathan knowing what Peyton was thinking and doing before Brooke knew, Nathan's odd behaviour at the party, the fight she'd seen over the banister, oh god the lying- Haley and Nathan arguing- falling apart in front of her and oh god- this!

"Brooke please-"

"Get away from me Nathan," she backed up against the store on the other side of the street and he looked at her painfully. His blue eyes were burning with shame and she couldn't meet them, couldn't bear to see it. He had so suddenly fallen so far.

"Brooke I- it wasn't what it looked- it was just a kiss- I don't, I mean it was just..." He fell silent, pulling at his hair remorsefully. Finally he spoke again, "are you going to tell Haley?"

Her eyes snapped up and she shook her head in disgust, "you bastard Nathan."

She strode back towards the cafe and he jogged behind her, "Brooke wait- I can explain this I swear- Haley and I-"

"_Don't!_ Don't even say her name Nathan!"

"Brooke please!" She stalked back up the stairs and into the bedroom where Peyton was collapsed in a heap on the bed, crying loudly. Brooke shut the door in Nathan's face and locked it firmly. "Brooke!" He banged his fists against the wood for a moment and she flinched but didn't open it. Instead she turned to survey Peyton angrily.

"You better have a damn good explanation for what I just saw Peyton or I swear to god I'm gonna hurt you." Peyton looked up at her and then began to cry harder. Brooke sat down on the sofa grimly. She was going to wait, as long as it took for Peyton to get over herself and explain. Dammit she was going to hear this explanation.

What a _bitch._

"God, i'm so sorry Brooke; so sorry!"

She gave no reply. Instead she dropped her head into her hands for a few seconds, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. She was trying to drown out the worthless apologies. Shut up shut up shut up! God did she not realise what she'd done!? She felt the anger boil over and swallowed hard to hold it back.

"You have to believe me- it was selfish and I wasn't thinking, and I'm so sorry!"

She stayed silent and glanced at her fingernails, swallowing hard. She felt her own tears rise and shook herself, she had to be brave. Oh god Haley. How the hell was she going to tell Haley? Would Nathan tell her? Would Haley move out? Would they survive this?

"Brooke it was a mistake- I would never do anything like this-" This was the worst explanation in the history of time.

Green tear stained eyes looked up now, imploring her to believe her, "Brooke please! It didn't mean anything!"

_A kiss always means something._

Brooke stood up sharply, "I can't even hear you say that right now Peyton." She moved towards the door and Peyton called out desperately;

"Brooke please wait, I- you have to-"

Brooke turned back and strode towards the sofa and with one quick movement slapped her former best friend with the force of every emotion that had been building inside of her.

"I don't have to do _anything_ Peyton!" She practically screamed the words.

Peyton clutched the side of her face in shock and Brooke glanced down at her bright red palm; she couldn't even feel the pain right now. "He's a_ father_ Peyton. You knew that and yet- you knew _exactly_ what you were doing." She could barely say the words, tears were threatening to fall and she had to get out, get away- "Just stay the hell away from my family Peyton."

"Brooke please!"

"No!" She pulled open the door and stared at a bedraggled Nathan, "you two are done here- get the hell out now. I don't want Haley to even _see_ you here."

"Brooke-"

"Nathan I mean it!"

Reluctantly Nathan moved down the stairs and Peyton slowly followed him still crying. Brooke swallowed and finally let the anguished tears stream down her cheeks. She reached for her own phone and dialled a number quickly. Please pick up, please, please, please.

"_Hey pretty girl, what's up?"_

"Luke? I need you."

_But it won't matter where we are, as long as we're together._

**Please don't hate me for that! It has a point, and a really big point for brucas and the ramifications of the actions etc! Do review please- lol but no hate mail, i swear everything will work out in a satisfying way.**


	21. As Long As I Have You

**A/N: I'm so sorry this has taken SO long! I promise there will be no cheating on the Brucas front. And I do love Peyton but that doesn't mean she's always right or that I should avoid occasionally putting her in the wrong, and this is my Brooke story so in Brooke's story right now Peyton does happen to be the bad guy! I hope this chapter is ok- not too messy!**

**Disclaimer: I think I've now said this over a hundred times and yet I still forget sometimes and think this is actually going to happen on OTH... I don't own anything!**

Brooke pulled her knees closer to her chest and breathed deeply, trying to get a hold of her still thumping heart. What the hell was she going to do now? What was she going to tell Hales?

"Brooke?"

Her head snapped up and she saw Karen's kindly eyes looking down at her, "you ok there miss Davis?"

She cleared her throat and tried to stand, "yeah I- oh," she felt dizzy suddenly, missed her footing and slipped down the remaining stairs she'd failed to walk down before collapsing ten minutes ago, "Ohh!"

Karen caught her easily and helped her straighten up, "careful!"

Brooke closed her eyes briefly, feeling safe in the older ladies embrace and then pulled away, "thanks Karen- sorry about that, dead leg!"

"Sure honey," she paused, frowning, "Brooke have you been crying?"

"Uh no! I umm- I got dust in my eye from the boxes upstairs!"

Karen raised her eyebrows, "why don't I believe you?"

"It's the truth!"

"Brooke Davis!" Karen placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes, "you haven't lied to me since you were sixteen years old- do not start now!"

Brooke pouted; feeling like a reprimanded teenager and then reluctantly smiled, "you're right, sorry." She sat back down on the stairs and Karen joined her, squeezing her hand gently.

"What's going on Brooke?"

"I saw something- and what I saw- it's gonna hurt so many people if I tell- but I don't think I can keep it to myself," she sighed and bit her lip, "I thought things were finally getting better but it seems like since I came back all this dirt is being ripped from underneath the carpet and I can't get away from it. I feel like I'm bringing everybody down and I don't want to be that person!"

Karen frowned, "oh Brooke you can't think you coming back has been a bad thing can you?"

"I don't know- maybe if I hadn't everyone would still be happy..." She trailed off and tugged at a loose thread on the stairs. Finally she blurted out, "I sure as hell wouldn't have just walked in on Nathan and Peyton breaking a world record for the number of times people can cheat in one town."

Karen's eyes widened, "oh my god! What- what did you do?"

Brooke sighed, "I got mad and yelled at them, told them they were despicable and sent Nathan away."

"Did he want to stay?"

"Yeah," she shrugged, "I think he wanted to talk but I was so angry. God what were they thinking!?"

"Brooke, people don't always think these things through- sometimes they just act."

"Well they shouldn't just act!"

"I know honey, but nobody's perfect."

Brooke scoffed, "I'm not asking for perfection; just a little self control."

"Brooke," Karen began warningly, "everyone makes mistakes!"

"I know, I know and I know I haven't been perfect but- but there are so many people who could get hurt from this."

Karen pulled a sympathetic face and then slipped an arm around the young brunette's shoulders, "poor Haley, you sure she doesn't know?"

"Definitely! Nathan was all worried about me telling her- and so he should be!"

Karen sighed, "I guess I better get back out there- Haley will be wondering where we've got to." She pulled away, "but you gotta listen to me about something now Brooke- you coming back was a wonderful and _needed_ change. My son is a hundred times happier than he's been in years, your son is getting to know a whole family he never knew he had- one step at a time. If you hadn't come back maybe some things wouldn't have happened _right_ now but I guarantee you honey- they would have happened at some point. At least by coming home you get to be with everyone you belong with while it happens. I know right now what Peyton and Nathan did seems like the worst thing in the world but I promise- it will sort itself out- and you _cannot_ blame yourself for it; I won't let you."

Brooke smiled shakily, "you really think so?"

"Oh I know so! I promise by my wedding you'll be laughing like you don't have a care in the world!"

"I hope so," Brooke said softly, "I really hope it's everything you dreamed of too Karen- you really deserve a perfect day."

Karen laughed, "why thank you!" She paused, "now what are you gonna do about Peyton?"

Brooke scowled, "I don't want to do anything about her- actually I want to smack-"

Karen cleared her throat, "Brooke," she said firmly, "she's your best friend and I know this is a terrible thing to have happened but I'm sure she has a reason for it. Did you talk to her?"

"No- well I kinda did, I was just mad," she sighed, "I love her like she's my sister but Haley- she's been there for me through so much and I cannot believe Nathan and Peyton would do this to her!" She stood up suddenly, angry again, "god how could they do this?! I mean Naley are married and they have Jamie and Gracie and this will hurt them so badly and Peyton-"

"Brooke stop!"

"What am I going to say to Haley?" She turned and looked at Karen desperately, "what do I do with this?"

Karen stood and placed both her hands on Brooke's shoulders, "you don't do anything yet Brooke. You have to let Nathan have a chance to come clean and at least try and explain himself to Haley before you get yourself too involved. You have to respect the fact that Nathan and Haley might have something going on that you don't know about."

"But I know about this!" She felt torn, she hated lying and to _Haley_...

Karen smiled sadly and touched her face, "I know sweetie but just give it some time. This will sort itself out."

* * *

The door through from the cafe opened suddenly and Lucas appeared, Brooke felt a wave of relief, "Luke!"

His face was filled with concern, "Brooke! I got here as soon as I could." She slid her arms round his waist and he kissed the top of her head, "you ok?"

"Mmm," she kept her face buried in his tee shirt, breathing in his scent, "I'm ok," she murmured.

Karen moved back towards the front of the cafe and squeezed Brooke's arm briefly, winking at her son, "hi sweetie- Brooke I'll just go and tell Haley you'll be out in a minute?"

"Yeah- I'll be right there," she said attempting a bright voice. They stood in silence for a long time; Brooke could feel her thumping heart steadying. In the dark corridor with Luke's arms around her, she finally felt calm. "I'm sorry if I freaked you out on the phone," she whispered.

Lucas pulled away slightly and searched her eyes, "what's going on Brooke?"

She hid her face in his chest again, "I don't wanna talk about it," she said quickly.

"Brooke- you must have called me for a reason-"

"I just wanted to see you!" She didn't want to go over all of this again- and Luke would be _so_ upset.

He raised his eyebrows, "Brooke you sounded like you were almost crying on the phone- you're hiding back here and Hales says you've been nearly twenty minutes- come on, there must be something up."

"It doesn't matter," she said stepping away and brushing her eyes in irritation, "I'm fine now- thank you."

"Brooke-"

"No seriously- how was your morning?"

He sighed and clenched his jaw, "don't do this now Brooke."

She folded her arms and shrugged awkwardly, "do what?"

"Don't shut me out!" He exclaimed angrily, "we've got so far- you can't start changing your mind about trusting me."

She swallowed, "I do trust you. I just can't tell you this-"

"You can't pick and chose when you do and don't trust me Brooke!"

She winced, she knew that, but this was Nathan. _Nathan and Peyton_. Cheating. Hurting Haley. Her rock couple were falling apart and she was supposed to just trust Lucas after seeing how capable even the best of men were of hurting the ones they loved? And she had no doubt he'd want to hunt Nathan down...

_Please just trust me._

"Brooke?" His voice was soft and she felt surprised to see he was still standing in front of her; he hadn't stormed away ranting about being shut off, he was still here. And she knew he was different to his brother; she took a breath-

"Nathan-"

"Guys?" They both twisted to see Haley peering through the kitchen looking for them.

"We're back here," Lucas called.

Haley appeared and smiled faintly, "hey you guys, I'm sorry Brooke but I'm really tired- do you think you could take me home? Nathan's not answering his cell otherwise I'd get him to pick me up."

"Why don't I take you to see my new place?" Brooke said quickly, "we could grab some lunch and eat it on the balcony!"

Haley bit her lip, "I'm really sorry Brooke; that sounds wonderful but I have so much to do. Do you mind?"

"Not at all," Brooke could sense her own voice sounded faint and without looking she knew Luke's eyes were watching her.

Haley smiled briefly, "thanks- I'll get my stuff." She disappeared and left the couple standing opposite one another in the dark corridor once more.

"Why do I feel like you're not telling me something to do with my best friend and keeping her from going home?" Lucas asked, slowly folding his arms.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

"Brooke!"

"Ahh ok ok!" Her beautiful hazel eyes were filled with anguish as she looked up at him, "but you _have_ to promise not to freak out Luke- you have to!"

He rested his hands on her shoulders and chuckled, "babe- I'm not the drama queen type- you know that." She raised her eyebrows; she could so disagree there but then she remembered what she was about to say and the instinct to tease him fell away.

"Haley and Nathan had a fight last night- and this morning."

He tilted his head to one side and began to smile, "babe if that's it-"

"It's not! Hales was upset so I thought Karen's muffins would totally cheer her up and your mom mentioned that Peyton was upstairs and that I should go say hey..." She swallowed, "so I did." She rubbed her forehead briefly, faltering on her words. Lucas took a step towards her and she shrank away, "and she wasn't alone- or prepared for my entrance... She was with someone else, doing something she's gotten pretty good at over the years and... Luke, it was..." Her voice was so quiet she could barely hear it, but as she looked up into Luke's eyes she suspected he already knew what she was going to say.

"Nathan?" He said stonily.

She nodded and bowed her head. Lucas could barely stand- after everything Nathan had judged _him_ for. And now to do this to Haley, to Jamie, Grace- with _Peyton_!

"I have to go," he said suddenly.

Brooke's head shot back up, "no Lucas wait- you promised you wouldn't freak out! Luke!"

She caught on his arm and he pulled it away angrily, "Let go of me Brooke. I'll see you later."

"Lucas come on!"

He turned incredulously, "how can I leave this alone?!"

"Luke!" He stalked through the cafe, blindly pushing past Haley who turned to look at Brooke in confusion. "We have to go," Brooke said urgently, "now!"

She grabbed her coat and Karen called out, "is everything ok?"

"Ummm it should be fine! I'll call you!"

"Brooke you and Hales are going to be bridesmaids!"

Brooke stopped, breathless at the door, "really?"

Karen beamed, "I thought you should hear at least one piece of good news today. If you'll do it?"

Brooke felt her eyes fill with tears and glanced at Haley who was smiling as well, "god Karen I'd-"

There was suddenly the sounds of a revving car and a squealing of tyres as behind them Luke pulled onto the road and broke Brooke's happy moment, "I uh- thanks Karen that'd be wonderful!" She began running down the road to where her own car was parked, tugging Haley along behind her.

"Brooke! What is going on?!" Haley was twisting on her seat belt as Brooke reversed speedily out of her space.

"We just have to get to yours really quickly- I don't want you falling behind on your errands Hales."

Haley's brown eyes narrowed in suspicion, "Brooke you and Lucas are running round like crazy people- what aren't you telling me? And how come Peyton never came down to say hi- is she ok?"

"Oh she's fine," Brooke muttered, "she's bloody peachy."

"Brooke come on!"

She lost sight of Luke's car and cursed, Haley touched her arm, "did you and Luke have a fight Brooke?" Her voice was soft and filled with concern, "I know it's been a tough few weeks for you guys but what you said earlier about believing in love and getting through together- I know you guys can do it."

Brooke swallowed, oh god were those her words? How stupidly optimistic had she been?! "Luke and I are fine," she said quickly, keeping her eyes on the road, "thanks Hales."

"Okay," her friend smiled easily and then glanced out of the window, "I wish I could say the same for Nathan and I."

"Look Hales- whatever happens from now on out- you know I'm on your side right?" They were pulling onto Nathan and Haley's road and Brooke wanted to let her friend know, there was hope, she had people, she would be ok no matter what. She wondered whether she was half speaking to herself and felt close to tears again. Silently she reached over and squeezed Haley's hand. Haley wrapped her fingers round Brooke's and smiled tightly. Please, Brooke found herself praying, please don't do this to her.

* * *

They arrived at the house and Brooke was surprised to see there was no sign of Lucas or Nathan's cars. She got out slowly and looked around in confusion, "where is everybody?"

Haley shrugged, "Nathan is no doubt at the gym," she said bitterly. They went inside and the house was empty of people. Brooke felt completely thrown. Had Lucas killed Nate and gone to bury the body? They moved into the kitchen and Brooke pulled out her cell to call him- this was weird. There was a shout and from behind them Nathan appeared at the front door. He spotted Brooke first and hesitated about coming through to the kitchen but then seemed to straighten up and came over.

"Hey."

Haley surveyed him warily, "hi."

Brooke couldn't look at him and Nathan seemed only able to stare at the fridge. "Brooke, can I talk to my wife please?"

Brooke's mind was racing, she didn't want to leave Haley alone to hear the news but it really wasn't her business to interfere and where was Lucas? She glanced at Haley who looked ashen, "I can stay-" she began but Haley shook her head minimally and smiled quickly.

"It's ok- we'll be fine."

Brooke reached over and hugged her tightly, "I'll be back in a bit- call me if you need me sooner ok?"

Haley gave her another quick smile and then turned to face her husband; Brooke refused to look up at him as she left the room. She sat outside in the drive completely unaware she'd switched on the ignition but hadn't yet moved. Finally it came to her where he might be.

It was an extremely short drive but she didn't feel like walking. She parked and climbed out slowly feeling like her bones were so much older than they were. If they survived this then maybe they could take a trip, all of them, away from Tree Hill. But did all of them include Nathan? Peyton? She had been ignoring messages from the blonde all day. She pulled her boots off and left them in the back of the car and then glanced up at the sky; it was going to be a gorgeous evening. Gazing across the beach she felt relieved to see a familiar figure sitting hunched up on the sand dunes.

_Know any good jokes?_

"Thought I'd find you here broody," she said softly, sitting down beside him.

He glanced across at her and smiled faintly, "I'd hoped you would."

"You ok?"

He slipped one of his hands into hers and kissed it, "yeah I'm ok- are you?"

She sighed and stared up at the sky, "oh god Luke, I don't know! I think I'm ok. But my best friend- and Nate- and Hales. How did I not see it coming? How did I miss it?"

"We both did," he murmured. "God I _hate_ him right now."

She bit her lip, "was I right to tell you?"

He looked at her sharply and said vehemently, "of course! I just wish I could have been there to kick his ass."

"I'm surprised you didn't after you left Karen's- I thought- I thought that's where you went. Luke I was so worried!"

"I know babe and I'm sorry. To be honest I thought that's where I was headed too." He stared at the sand in front of him and Brooke gave him a moment.

Then she spoke, "why didn't you go?"

"I got halfway there and then I realised something."

She frowned, "what?"

He looked at her suddenly and smiled faintly, "because I pretty much spent the last six years in love with someone that wasn't my girlfriend and I figured as pissed as I was at Nate- I didn't really have a leg to stand on."

She chuckled, "well like always, I can't fault your logic babe." She gazed at him proudly, "you're wise beyond your years Lucas Scott."

"I'm not sure about that pretty- I've made some bad mistakes."

She sighed and kissed his shoulder, "everybody does. I think that's kind of the problem."

He collapsed back onto the sand and she twisted to lie next to him, her hand finding his on his chest, "let's just lie here for a bit," he whispered.

"Fine by me," she said sleepily, "I could sleep here."

Lucas laughed, "nothing we haven't done before." He bent and kissed her, "wouldn't mind doing it again."

"Mmm, but who'll look after Jay?"

"Ahh he's six," Lucas said rolling over and slipping his arms round her waist, "he can look after himself right?"

She smirked and caught his face, "nice try mister but we should really get going."

He groaned and lay back once more, "I miss the days when we actually had got further than a make out session."

She punched his chest, "it has not been that long!" He caught her wrist and pulled her back down, "Luke!"

"Shhh," he leant forward and kissed her neck, "you just bought a house with lots walls to paint and curtains to choose and wardrobes to fill with new clothes and a clean, big bed..."

"Ahh you convinced me," she said softly, kissing him back.

Her cell suddenly began ringing and Lucas groaned, pulling away, "dear god the universe is against me."

Chuckling she rolled her eyes, stroking his knee, "sorry," she muttered and snapped her cell open, "hello?" She sat up and straightened her top, "oh hi yes this is she."

Lucas glanced at his own cell and realised he had several missed calls from Haley. He was filled with guilt, he'd been so distracted just trying to steal a moment with Brooke. And now he was suddenly being dragged back to life. He sat up next to her now and checked his messages, oh crap Haley sounded completely messed up.

He glanced at Brooke, her voice also sounded strained and he reached across to take her hand. She squeezed it briefly, distracted, "look I will but this is my decision Clara. Tell her I'll call next week. I don't care what she says! Look- I- stop talking! I'll call her. No I will!" She turned to Lucas and pulled a face, "ok. Bye bye." She snapped the phone shut and scowled, "my mother found my new number and got her assistant to call me as a kind of 'I guess as I'm your mother I should care where you are.' I still don't know how to deal with them!"

She moved to stand up but he caught her hand, "wait! Stay for a second here babe."

Brooke sat down and looked at him with surprise, "you ok?"

"Yeah," he rested his chin on her shoulder gently, "let's just be still for a minute," he kissed her shoulder and then leant his forehead against the side of her head, "before the storm begins."

"Ok honey, we can stay as long as you want," she said softly.

_And because, you miss your parents, but you'll never ever admit that. And because I've given exactly two of these embarrassing speeches in my entire life, and they've both been with you._


	22. I Carry Your Heart

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**A/N: Thank you for all the really great reviews you guys- I'm really pleased that this story is being enjoyed and is believable- I am trying really hard to make it so! I really hope this chapter is ok, I'm a tad nervous about it. oh and if anyone's reading my Naley i deeply apologise for the delay- it's coming i just needed to decide what the timeline was! Enjoy :)**

It was beginning to rain as Brooke carried the last of Jayden's toy boxes into the new house. She placed it at the bottom of the stairs and brushed her hands, clambering over several other boxes to get to the kitchen. Lucas looked up from making two mugs of coffee and smiled, "you look so cute all dusty like that Miss Davis."

She scrunched her nose up and turned away from him to run her hands under the tap, "I look dirty, not cute."

_Looks good from behind._

He twisted to slide an arm round her waist and kissed her neck, "dirty is not always a bad thing," he muttered.

She turned to face him and smirked, "I think when I have smudges across my face; it is."

"Uh huh, it's a good thing," he leant forward and kissed her, his arms pulling her closer as she wrapped her own around his neck.

He pulled back slightly and smiled, "hi."

"Hi."

"I've missed you this week."

"I know, I know, I've missed you too! But I had to finish packing up mine and Jay's things plus the ice war at Nathan and Haley's was in round four and I think Hales needed the moral support."

"She still doesn't know right?"

Brooke sighed, "no. There were like a million moments when I could have said something but then Nathan would come sailing in and start talking like he was trying to stop me."

"He probably was," Lucas muttered, his face darkening, "man I swear to god if he doesn't tell her soon-"

"Luke! Deep breaths baby."

He grinned, "sorry. But she's my best friend Brooke- I don't want her to get hurt."

"I know- neither do I Lucas but you know the deal; no word until after your mom gets married- she deserves a peaceful wedding."

Lucas sighed, "I agree I really do but-"

"Mom-" Jayden came running through from the living room and stopped as Lucas and Brooke jumped away from each other.

"What's up Jay?" Brooke pushed her hair back feeling flustered and quickly moved towards her son.

"Did you unpack my paint set yet?"

"Uhh no baby I haven't got to the upstairs boxes yet- just the kitchen stuff I'm afraid."

Jayden shrugged. "ok I'll go watch the game instead."

Brooke raised her eyebrows, "the game?"

"Uh huh- Jamie, me and Skillz watched ESPN classics today and I wanna watch some more now."

Brooke turned and shot Lucas a look, "like father like son," she mouthed, "you can watch till eight Jay and then bed time!"

Grinning Lucas sauntered over, "hey Jay- can I join you?"

"Sure," Jayden reached up to the counter and grabbed a half finished box of chicken chow Mein, "can I finish this mom?"

Brooke was smirking at Lucas and his ecstatic face about being allowed to watch basketball and glanced at their son now, "sure baby- help yourself."

Jayden beamed up at her and then padded back into the half empty living room. Brooke turned in time for Lucas to swing her up in his arms; half dancing her backwards round the kitchen. "I'm gonna go watch _basketball_ with our boy," he said smiling widely before kissing her and running excitedly after Jayden. She watched him go, smiling and then rolling her eyes affectionately turned back to the mess that was her new kitchen.

* * *

It had been a week and a half since she and Lucas had sat on the beach trying to cling to sanity and since then she had felt sweeping emotions trying to tug her in both the direction of sanity and the opposite. She had avoided both Nathan and Peyton like the plague- particularly her best friend who had been quite determined to make her talk to her. The ice war was on full blast at the Naley residence and Haley had been spending most of her time either with Brooke helping prepare Karen's wedding or with Jamie and Grace. This was nice in a way but it was also killing Brooke inside. She hated lying at the best of times and lying to _Haley_. She and Lucas had agreed to keep quiet until Karen was safely on her honeymoon- limiting the chance of dramatics at her wedding. But Brooke was quietly angry about the fact Nathan hadn't seemed to step up and do the deed himself. Now she was in her new house and wishing she could find a way to fix this with minimal bloodshed and without leaving Haley by herself. Haley had insisted that she was happy for Brooke to move out and Brooke had run out of excuses not to- truth be told she wasn't enjoying the brief periods of insane anger where Nathan and Haley would scream at each other and then longer periods of icy silence. It was like watching them disintegrate before her very eyes and she hated it.

The phone rang and snapped her into motion and she reached for it over a box full of kitchen tools she'd never used- or seen where the heck were they from?! "Hello?" And what the hell did this do?!?

"_Hey Brooke it's me."_

"Hi Millie," she said vaguely, still examining the silver wired weird twisty thing.

"_I've- I've got some news."_

Brooke tossed the kitchen appliance away and jumped up to sit on the counter, rummaging amongst the Chinese take away boxes. "Sure Mills, what's up?"

"_It's about your mother."_

Brooke's head snapped up, "what? What is it?"

"_She's been in a car accident Brooke."_

Brooke stood up quickly, dropping the rice box she'd been picking from, "what do you mean an accident? Is she ok? Is she alive? Spit it out Millicent!"

"_She's in the hospital, that's all I know right now."_

"What?! Why did no-one call me?"

"_I think they tried- Brooke I'm so sorry!"_

Brooke was searching for her keys and grabbed her jacket, "whatever, look Mills can you please just book me on the first flight out of here?"

"_Sure Brooke, ok, I'll meet you at the airport."_

"I'll see you soon," she said briefly before throwing the phone on the table and moving into the living room. Lucas and Jay were ensconced on the sofa and she wished she had the time to take a picture of how cute and happy they looked together. Jayden was asleep against Lucas' shoulder and Luke had switched the channel to mute. He glanced up at her, lazily reaching out a hand to pull her down towards them and then realised her face was the colour of ash.

"Babe?"

"My mom's been in an accident!"

He stood up quickly and pulled her into a hug, "oh god Brooke I'm so sorry!"

"Yeah I gotta go- I- what am I gonna do with Jay? He's only just got out of a hospital I don't wanna take him to another one! And it's so late-" She pulled away and began pacing.

"Do you have to go now?"

"Yeah, I mean god it's my mom Lucas!"

"I know, I know it is sweetheart. Is it serious?"

"Millicent didn't know but she sounded upset which is so weird because not much bothers her so I think it must be." She looked up at him desperately, "god what do I do Lucas? I don't wanna leave him alone here but I- I can't take him," she faltered and looked over at him desperately, "what do I do Lucas?"

He strode over and took her shoulders, "Brooke listen to me; your mom is going to be fine."

"You don't know that!"

"You don't know what she's not! Look, you can go Brooke- Jayden will be fine here I promise."

"I- you- you wanna look after Jay?"

He smiled softly and touched her face, "of course I do. You trust me to do it?"

She raised her eyebrows, "well you can't do any worse than me right? I mean under my care he jumps off cliffs, runs away-"

"Brooke stop! Relax. This is going to be fine. Jayden and I will stay here, we'll hang out, I'll keep him happy, warm, fed! And you can go to see your mom in New York without worrying about us I promise."

She took a deep breath and exhaled, "you're right, I'm sorry I'm just all over the place!"

"Hey," he cupped her face, "it's ok- this is going to be ok."

She leant into his chest, "oh god Luke- I don't even like her half the time why is this upsetting me so much?!"

"Brooke she's still your mom- you're going to be worried. Now look," he picked up her abandoned jacket and kissed her cheek, "I'll call you a cab and you tell Jay where you're going ok?"

She nodded dolefully, "ok." He smiled and turned away and as she sat down on the sofa she suddenly called out, "hey Luke?"

"Yeah babe?"

"Thank you."

He shrugged and smiled, "I'd do anything for you Brooke."

"I love you," she said suddenly.

He bent back down and kissed her softly, "I love you too."

She smiled and then turned back down to where her son was asleep, "Jay baby- you wanna wake up for me?"

* * *

Several hours later a weary looking Brooke arrived at JFK airport and stared around with glazed eyes.

"Brooke!" An equally dazed and exhausted looking Millicent dived through the crowds waving an arm, "ow get off me you moron!"

Brooke smiled with relief, "Millie," they hugged quickly and Brooke touched her hair, "you ok? I'm so sorry I was short with you earlier."

"Oh god honey don't worry about it, forgotten and then some! Now come on- your mom's awake."

Brooke stopped in surprise, "she's ok?"

"She's got a broken leg and a messed up face but she's feeling ok enough to boss us all around- god I cannot believe I let you talk to me into doing a couple of days work in New York! I just had to be here when your mom went crazy at a set of traffic lights."

"She was driving?! She's on way too many prescriptive medications to even see straight!"

Millicent held up a hand, "your mom is in a whole other world sweetie- you should know better than most seeing as how you take after her."

Brooke elbowed her and they both giggled before Millicent whistled for a cab outside the building. Brooke almost flinched at the amount of noise there was.

_It's the story of a young girl, who's very sad. She's torn between two men. One man is very rich, and offers to take her away from her home and show her all the wonders of the world._

She leant against Millicent's shoulder, "man I miss them already."

Millicent smiled down at her and then scoffed, "if you had told me a year ago Brooke Davis the fashion legend and party girl central was pining after small town boys and a dead end town I would have laughed in your face."

"What? Shut up! My son is there too."

"I know- and don't me wrong I love the doll almost as much as you do. But you said _them_ honey and I don't think you meant the coffee vendors."

Brooke gave a half smile, "no- I guess I didn't."

They clambered into the cab and Brooke flipped up her cell, "I'm just gonna call Luke and check in on them both ok?"

Millicent rolled her eyes affectionately, "_whipped_."

Brooke scowled at her but her eyes sparkled, "so?"

Shrugging Millicent quirked an eyebrow, "honey I'm just saying- it's nice to see you finally happy."

"Yeah- it's nice to feel happy- hey broody it's me. Yeah I'm ok- I think my mom's gonna be fine so I guess I'll check in with her and then head home."

Millicent shot her a look suddenly, "home," she mouthed.

Brooke pinched her friend's leg and Millicent squirmed laughing.

"No I'm sorry baby it's Millie, no I'm ok- is Jay still asleep? Ok, tell him I love him and I'll see you guys as soon as possible. I love you too," she closed her eyes listening to his voice and smiled, "ok, no you do it- no we shouldn't be one of those couples that do this. I have so called us a couple before. I have! Yes I have! No- you do it- fine- fine- ok- ok- byee." Brooke shut her phone and turned to where Millicent was staring at her incredulously.

"What?!"

"You two make me sick," she said teasingly.

"Jealous much?"

"Yeah so jealous of the 'you hang up' game. You guys are like, a _couple_."

Brooke pulled a face of mock horror, "oh no- we are?"

They pulled up outside the hospital and Brooke suddenly lost her sense of humour, "oh god; does she look bad?"

Millicent pulled a face and touched her shoulder, "she doesn't look good hon but you're ok. Come on now; get your butt out of the car."

Brooke nodded, "you're right, let's do this."

_So why is she torn?_

She could hear their heels clicking as they headed up the stairs, her breathing was speeding up and her head was spinning. God how long was it since she'd seen her mother? And now she had to see her like this? She swallowed, it was ok. She could do this. She thought of Jayden and Lucas waiting for her at home and felt stronger; it didn't matter if Victoria rejecter her- she had other people who loved her. She pushed open the door of 322 gently and cleared her throat.

"Hi mom."

"Brooke! You look awful dear. When was the last time you slept?"

Brooke blinked in surprise, _dear_? And since when did her mother care about how much sleep she was having?? "I- uh," she moved forward, "how are you?"

"Oh not so bad," Victoria patted the bed and smiled at Brooke, "sit with me."

Brooke raised her eyebrows and turned back to look at Millicent through the glass. Millicent was killing herself laughing, she was _so_ dead.

"So," she moved hesitantly forward, "you're errr- you've got some painkillers there have you ma?"

"I really do appreciate you coming to visit me Brooke- you're such a good daughter."

"Yeah err, thanks mom- look I'm gonna go speak to the doctor so you try and get some rest ok?"

"Alright sweetheart," she sang happily. Her face was slightly bruised and with her leg up in a cast she looked a complete state.

Brooke shot her another amazed look and then dived for the door, "oh my god Millicent you are dead!"

"Oh god I'm so sorry," Millicent was clutching her side laughing, "it was just so hilarious to see your face."

"How long has she been like this?"

"The doctor said that mixed with what she'd already taken she'll be having some side effects for up to twenty four hours."

Brooke sniggered, "she called me dear. Honestly, only my mother can get into a car accident and come out of it _nicer_ than before."

"Now _dear_, don't be mean."

A doctor suddenly appeared and Brooke straightened up, feeling bad for laughing, "umm hello."

"Hello- Miss Davis I presume? I was told to expect you some time after midnight."

"Uhh yes that's me. Is err- is my mother ok?"

"She should be fine. She's broken her leg and we're watching for signs of a concussion but there shouldn't be any problems. Umm Miss Davis- were you aware your mother was over-using prescription drugs?"

Brooke was silent- how to answer that? "I- have been away for some time- my mother and I aren't exactly close."

The doctor nodded, "alright, well we can talk some more in the morning but for tonight your mother is doing very well."

Brooke nodded, "ok thank you."

The doctor smiled briefly and then walked back down the corridor. Millicent turned smirking to look at Brooke, "my mother and I aren't _exactly_ close?"

Brooke pushed her arm, "shut up. Right I guess I ought to go see if the key to my apartment still works."

Millicent smiled, "come on then. I'll catch a ride with you to 25th."

Brooke cast one last glance into her mother's room and then looked away quickly. She had never felt good enough, never felt like she was loved she didn't want to hear empty words. She wanted real ones. She needed real emotions from Victoria or nothing at all.

_Because the other man, this man she has known all her life, she loves him very much._

* * *

After he'd hung up the phone to Brooke Lucas had carried Jayden up to bed and sat in the half empty room watching him sleep. There was no other furniture out yet but he could totally see a big couch fitting in the corner and a book shelf. This kid was so going to read. When he was little he'd absolutely loved Where The Wild Things Are, so maybe he could re-create the jungle here, get Peyton to- he stopped, damn. There was no way Peyton would be allowed anywhere near this house right now. He needed to get his girl and her best friend talking again because he could see the strain on Brooke's face every time they talked about it. He knew she was mad at Peyton but deep down, he knew she missed her more. He felt so damn guilty for all of this; he knew technically it wasn't his fault but somehow, he still blamed himself. He'd messed Peyton around so badly and lied to her and made her feel inadequate. He had tried, he could maybe convince himself of that. But really, deep down, his heart had always belonged to Brooke. He should have told Peyton that so long ago instead of leading her on and letting her get so messed up. But _Nathan_? Dammit Nathan...

Jayden sighed in his sleep and Lucas moved closer to the bed. This was where he wanted to be. Forget the complications outside of this room, this was all he wanted. His son and Brooke. He leant back against the wall and watched Jayden's sleeper light play shadows on the walls, it was so peaceful here- the front doorbell suddenly rang out and jerked him from his doze. Checking Jayden was still asleep he peered out of the window but could only see a cab pulling away. His heart skipped a beat- she was back already?

He dived down the stairs two at a time and swung open the door, "Bro-" the face at the door was his other most important lady, "Haley?"

"Hey, can I come in?"

"Sure- Hales, where's Jamie and Grace?"

"They're at Deb's," she said blankly.

"What- are you ok?" He touched his best friend's shoulder gently and she flinched and looked up at him accusingly.

"Did you know?"

He blinked in confusion, "know? Know what Hales?"

"About Nathan and Peyton?"

He looked at her silently and she shook her head, "I am so mad at you right now Lucas."

"I'm sorry Hales- so sorry- we didn't know how to tell you-"

She looked up, "we?"

He bit his lip, "I meant me."

She rolled her eyes, "you've got worse at lying over the years Lucas." She dropped her bag in the hall and moved into the kitchen. "I need a drink."

He followed her, shoving his hands into his pockets, "what's going on Hales?"

She twisted, snapping the lid off a beer and threw him one, "you're my best friend Lucas so I need you right now. I want to be mad at you but I need you too damn much. I need you to be _my_ friend and selfishly I need you to ignore Nathan for at least twenty four hours. I am furious at you all but I need to be away from my house, my husband, my lying, dirty, cheating husband." She fell silent and shrugged sadly, "I need to feel safe Luke."

His face fell into an expression of sympathy and slowly he moved towards her and wrapped her in a hug, "I'm on your side Haley. You're my best friend."

"That's what I need to hear."

"And we're here for you."

"We," she said softly, "you are so whipped."

He chuckled, "yeah, so?"

She sighed and leant into his chest, "I wish I knew why," she whispered, before dissolving into tears.

Lucas pulled her into a tighter hug and kissed the top of her head, "it's ok Hales, you're gonna be ok. It's ok. We're gonna be ok."

_If you're happy, i'm happy._

_I'm happy._

_Then i'm happy for you._


	23. Which Promises Really Hold True

**A/N: First off, apologies for the long wait. Work is dragging me under atm so this took me forever. Lot's of phone calls in this one for which I apologise- I wanted BL to interact but she's in NY at the moment so it was the only way- I apologise!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah if I owned OTH there would be no Jamie or Sam. I'm sorry but they take up way too much screen time that could be used for breyton/paley/baley/pathan/brathan/brucas interaction. When was the last time Brooke and Nathan were on screen together?! 6x03?!**

_I barely even knew her last year and now I can't imagine life around here without her._

Lucas opened his eyes slowly and stared up at the ceiling; it felt weird sleeping in Brooke's house for the _first_ time ever, without her. He hadn't been able to bring himself to sleep in the master bedroom, instead he'd stayed in one of the half empty spare rooms, thinking about the last twenty four hours and not sleeping much. He heard movement downstairs and slowly rolled off the bed and out onto the landing. As he padded towards the stairs he glanced into Jayden's room and smiled slightly; he slept in exactly the same way his mother did.

Haley was sitting on the sofa in the living room; she was wearing a pair of Clothes Over Bros shorts and a Ravens hoodie she had found in a box of Brooke's stuff. And she was staring at the television intently. Lucas smiled faintly and moved to sit down next to her, "you know if you really wanna learn anything you kind of have to turn the thing on first Hales."

She glanced across at him and gave a weak smile, "I couldn't find the remote."

His eyes flicked to where it was sitting behind her on the table and then back to her own brown eyes, she looked so desolate. "You wanna talk yet?" His voice was soft and Haley bit her lip, she'd only managed to stop crying half an hour ago as it was; she didn't want to start again.

"There isn't a lot to say," she said briskly, sitting up and reaching to pick up her mug of coffee.

Lucas took it gently from her hands, "I made that for you last night Haley- come on now, I'm your best friend and you can't lie to me!"

She sighed, "ok, you're right. But you're my best friend and you lied to _me_ Luke."

"And I wish I hadn't. But I didn't know what to do Hales. I didn't know how serious it all was."

Haley snorted, "it's pretty serious alright."

"Haley- why don't you just tell me what happened?"

"I came home at the wrong time," she said with a wry smile. "Peyton's car was in the drive and I thought she'd come by to see me or hang out with Jamie-"

_Haley let herself into the house and dropped her keys in the bowl on the hall table, "Nathan?"_

"_Forget it Nate; just forget all of it!"_

"_Peyton for god's sake! I want to talk-"_

_She heard the voices coming from upstairs and looked up in surprise to see Peyton suddenly running down them looking dishevelled and like she'd been crying. Nathan was following with an urgency Haley hadn't seen in a long time- like he had a purpose. "Peyton!"_

"_Leave me alone Nathan!" She strode across the hall and almost walked straight into Haley. She did a double take and her face went a strange colour before she swallowed hard. "Hey Haley."_

_Haley attempted a smile and crossed her arms, "hey girlie, what are you doing here?"_

"_I-"_

"_Peyton can we just talk-" Nathan's face had been covered by the jersey he was pulling on and now he froze in the middle of the hall; standing in front of the two beautiful women that had played such important parts in his life. "Haley! You're home! Hey!" He dived forward and kissed her cheek and Haley visibly flinched. He pulled away and tried to smile, "what are you doing here?"_

_Slowly she dropped her bag on the floor and then moved away from them both. She knew when Nathan was about to lie to her and she needed to be as far away from him as possible when it happened. "What were you guys fighting about?" Her voice was faint and she cleared her throat now, she wanted to be strong. _

"_We umm- we were just arguing about where to put uh, a painting Peyton brought over."_

"_With half your clothes missing?" She moved to do something and then stopped, "where's Jamie and the baby?"_

"_They're at my moms," Nathan said quietly. _

_Haley raised her eyebrows, "I thought you were staying at home all day today."_

"_Yeah I," he rubbed the back of his neck, "I had things to do."_

"_I'll bet," she retorted softly._

"_No- Haley I-" his voice faltered and she could feel her stomach twisting so tightly she thought she was going to be sick. They looked so guilty. _

_Peyton spoke now, "you know what- I'm gonna go- I have to be somewhere and I'll- I'll talk to you guys later ok?" She turned to the door, ignoring Nathan's pleading eyes and Haley felt her breath catch._

"_Peyton-"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Your top's on inside out." _

_There was a silence as slowly Peyton turned to face her, her eyes lowered to the ground. Haley nodded slowly; it was like a light had gone on in her head and suddenly everything was falling into place. There, right in front of her all along and now in the most humiliating way she had to work it out. They'd been laughing at her this whole time. Peyton the beautiful, thin, blonde that had been her husband's first love. Peyton that never yelled at Nathan in restaurants or had baby spit on her clothes. Peyton that had been her friend for so long. Haley felt dizzy and she reached up to touch her forehead. Oh god._

"_You know I- I wear it like this," Peyton said lamely, pulling at the bottom of the top awkwardly and Haley raised her eyebrows._

"_You're gonna lie to me now?" _

"_I'm so sorry Haley. This isn't what was supposed to happen," she said quietly._

"_You're damn right this isn't what was supposed to happen! Tell me I'm not seeing this! Tell me I'm imagining the guilty looks and one of my best friends half undressed in my house in the middle of the afternoon and my husband running after her instead of- and- tell me you're not lying to me right now Peyton. Tell me I'm wrong to put this together and think you are the worst two people in the world right now."_

"_Can I explain?" Nathan's eyes looked at her so guiltily she had to look away._

"_What can you say to get yourself out this Nathan?"_

"_Haley this isn't- it's- we-"_

"_Oh for god's sake cut to the point!"_

"_Haley I'm sorry it's just that things with us were- I was confused and freaking out and you were cutting me out and-"_

_Haley's eyes widened, "you're saying this is my fault?!"_

"_No god no!"_

"_Haley," Peyton began but Haley held up a hand._

"_I can't even look at you right now Peyton so can you please, can you just go?"_

_Peyton nodded sadly and turned to open the door, "I'm so sorry Haley," she whispered, before disappearing outside._

_Haley squeezed her eyes shut for a second and then turned to look at Nathan, "how could you? We- we have children Nathan! And don't you love me at all?! I- I have been trying to work on this for so long and the whole time you were screwing somebody else!"_

"_Haley it's not like that!"_

"_Well how is it Nathan?"_

"_I'm in love with her."_

* * *

Lucas' face fell even further as Haley finished speaking and he reached over to squeeze his friend's knee, "I'm so sorry Hales. What did you do?"

Haley shrugged, "well then I packed a bag and came here."

"What did Nathan do?"

"He ran after me apologising a lot and saying he was confused and conflicted and- so I slapped him."

"He deserved that; at least!" Lucas said vehemently.

Haley gave a faint smile and then stood up, "I need a drink."

"It's six thirty Hales!"

She rolled her eyes, "I meant a cup of coffee Luke."

"Oh, sorry," he jumped up to follow her through into the kitchen and Haley gazed around.

"Now where would clean cups be?"

Lucas chuckled, "I guess in one of the many unpacked boxes. Brooke didn't have much of a chance to settle in," he said morosely, sitting down heavily on one of the bar stools.

"Yeah Victoria was in a car crash? Poor Brooke; she must be going out of her mind with that witch. I can relate," Haley added sourly.

"You haven't spoken to Peyton since?"

"Nope," Haley shrugged, "and I don't plan to. Ever."

"You think Nathan meant what he said?"

"I don't know Lucas," she buried her head in her hands briefly and then looked up at him, "am I that undesirable? That unlovable?"

"God no, Haley, you are amazing! And beautiful and smart and Nathan's a complete dumbass for not recognising that you are way out of his league and that he is _lucky_ to be with someone like you." Lucas moved round the kitchen counter and pulled his friend into a hug, "you are amazing Hales."

She sighed and leant into his chest, "thanks Luke." She pulled away and began rinsing two dirty cups, then stopped and held her hands under the water, "oh god what am I gonna tell Jamie?"

Lucas hesitated, he was no way the expert when it came to awkward conversations or to what to tell your pretty intuitive five year old when it came to his father. "Tell him- tell him the two of you are having some time apart- and that you still love him and Grace more than anything. And that you promise to keep talking to him if he promises to tell you anything that's bothering him."

Haley smiled slightly, "wow you're really getting good at the dad stuff my friend."

"Really?" His face lit up, "thanks."

As if on cue his cell began to ring and he looked down to see Pretty Girl flashing across the screen, he answer it smiling "hey babe, how you doin?"

"_Hi_ _Luke_," her voice was crackly and she sounded tired.

"You ok?" Haley passed him a mug silently and smiled mouthing, 'tell her i'm living here now too' but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes and she left the kitchen quickly. Lucas watched her go concerned. God he was going to kill Nathan.

"_Yeah_ _I'm just checking in. How are my boys_?"

"We're ok- you want me to go wake Jay up?"

"_No no, its ok, it's too early for him to be happy to talk to me_."

He chuckled, "sounds like someone else I know."

"_Hey, I'm a cheery person!_"

"I know babe- just not a morning person."

She smiled reluctantly and was silent for a second and then she sighed, "_Luke things are so weird here._"

He frowned, "why? What's going on?"

"_My mom is being nice!_"

He spluttered and almost choked on his coffee "wh- what!? Well... that's new."

"_Yeah she was being all nice and smiley and loving. Luke I don't get it- she has to be on drugs to realise she cares for me?"_

"You know it's not like that sweetheart; she's just a bit..."

"_Emotionally stunted?_"

"Ah that's not the way I was gonna put it but- she's just the opposite of you babe. And I thank god you are not like her."

He could tell she was smiling now, "_thanks honey. But how are things with you_?"

"Actually, there's something I have to tell you," he said softly.

Brooke could actually feel her heart stop, "_uh, ok, you're not sleeping next to anyone are you?_"

He snorted, "no. I could never sleep next to anyone who didn't accidently kick me in the middle of the night."

"_That was one time!"_

"Hehe, I know I know. Besides I'm not even in bed, I've been up a while." He took a breath, "Haley's here babe."

"_At seven thirty in the morning? Is she ok?_"

"Not really," he glanced into the living room where Haley was once again staring at the television blankly; at least it was on now. "She knows about Peyton."

"_Oh god!_"

"Yeah except it's worse than that Brooke-"

"_What could possibly worse than one of the sweetest people we know finding out her husband and my ex best friend are whores?_"

"Nathan being in love with said ex best friend?"

Brooke was so surprised she actually stopped walking. The business man right behind her careered into her and for a moment all Lucas could hear down the phone was Brooke shouting about important conversations with the government and an extremely apologetic man's voice.

"Babe? You ok?"

"_Yeah sorry- god why do people walk so close to you in New York?! I mean I know I smell good but god!_"

He chuckled, "well you know you do so- maybe he just couldn't resist? I know I couldn't."

"_Ha yeah you charmer. Anyway broody, how's our girl now?_"

"I think she's still in shock but I've said she can stay here for as long as she needs, is that ok?"

"_Sure babe, me casa su casa and all that. Tell her I love her ok?_"

"Yeah I will. And try not to worry about your mom sweetness; remember whether she knows how to say it or not, me and Jay love you, as well as a bunch of other people here so forget the dragon and come home soon ok pretty girl?"

"_Oh I will! I swear I'm gonna kill someone soon so maybe I should just come home and get rid of Peyton- it would make life better for everyone._"

"Brooke," Lucas said warningly, "forget about her for now- focus on you and us and your mom and please don't get in any more fights with New Yorkers ok?"

"_I can't promise anything. But I have to go now babe I'm at the hospital. Tell Jay I love him and I love you too._"

"I love you- remember that surrounded by New York doctors!"

She chuckled and hung up the phone. Lucas felt a hundred times better and turned back to the living room, time to deal with his best friend.

_I guess I always thought your hearts were the same._

Brooke walked into the elevator and leant against the back wall. She _so_ didn't want to be here today. "Hmmmm hmmmm," she hummed something from one of Jayden's favourite tv shows idly, staring up at all the cheery posters on either sides of her, "hum hum shine a light hum hum." She was worried about Haley now and she wanted nothing more than to go home, throw on an old hoodie of Luke's and sit with her girl till she felt better, "hum time to go home hummm."

There was suddenly a loud throat clearing and Brooke's head snapped to the side and she almost choked when she realised she wasn't alone. "Oh my gosh I'm sorry!"

The elderly doctor smiled at her faintly and then turned back to staring at the numbers lighting up.

"It's just that, I have to go and see my mother and she's not normally a very nice person, but recently she's been in a car accident and she broke a load of bones and so she's been on these painkillers and they make her all dopey and nice which is really bizarre and makes me feel like i'm in the twilight zone and-" the doors of the elevator opened and the doctor almost dived out of them. Brooke looked confused and then smiled and waved, "oh, ok, well have a good day!" The doors closed again and her face fell, "he was _rude_. And now I'm talking to myself..." The elevator doors opened and Millicent jumped up from where she'd been perched flirting with a male nurse.

"You were just talking to yourself weren't you?" She took several of the files out of Brooke's arms as they walked and replaced them with five more.

"Um no! Because that would make me a crazy person Mills- and you know that's only in _your_ job description."

Millicent chuckled, "either way you're gonna need to be prepared for the full bitchtoria treatment today."

Brooke stopped mid walk, "she's off the meds?" She stamped her foot, "but today's the day I pitch the Tree Hill store!"

Millicent pulled a face, "ooh. Good luck with that."

Brooke rolled her eyes, "thanks. God that woman is so inconvenient! First she breaks her leg right after I move in to my new house and now that I'm here she goes all evil zombie on me less than twenty four hours later!"

"She's not entirely all there so you might be ok- just speak really fast and you might confuse her."

Brooke sighed, "why did they take her off so soon?"

"Something about a bad reaction- she should be on new ones tomorrow."

"So I can just come back then," Brooke said brightly.

Millicent raised her eyebrows, "Brooke Davis! Get in there and earn your keep!"

"Fine!"

_She's not afraid to be herself._

An hour later and Brooke was ready to sign away all her shares if it got her out of this extremely uncomfortable and irritating conversation. "Look Mother, I have all the right numbers to provide more than enough persuasion at a board meeting-"

"Brooke I have told you repeatedly to let me worry about where we place Clothes Over Bros stores and you worry about creating pretty dresses."

Brooke sighed and snapped her folder shut, tapping a Jimmy Choo clad shoe crossly on the floor of the hospital room. "I miss the drugs," she muttered.

"I heard that!" Victoria raised her eyebrows and then put down the brief she was examining, "Brooke if you aren't ready to take on more responsibilities what makes you think you can handle a store in some god forsaken town like Tree Hill? That place is going nowhere and you think a Clothes Over Bros store will thrive there?"

"Yes I do! I believe in my stores and my clothes and I believe in Tree Hill."

"Well then maybe you should run for mayor," Victoria snapped a file shut in a very similar way to Brooke and fixed her gaze on her daughter, "I'm sorry Brooke but I will fight you on this."

Brooke stood up sharply, "you're not sorry mother; you have never been sorry for anything you have done in your life and it might have made you a good business woman but it has made you a terrible mother. If you are not willing to show me any support on this then I will have to take you on. I will fight you right back Victoria."

"What are you saying Brooke?"

"Maybe I don't want you representing _my_ company anymore."

"It is our company my dear, we built it together."

"No, mom, I dreamt it up, I built it from scratch- you just came around when I actually made some money."

"I have made you a very rich and successful designer Brooke. You can provide a life for your son that you never would have been able to otherwise."

"Don't you even think about bringing him into this! You have never accepted Jayden as being the most important part of my life and you have always wanted me to put the company first! How dare you even imply like you give a damn. How many times have you even seen him in the last six years?"

"Brooke it was your choice to have that child and to raise him how you saw fit and-"

"How I saw fit?! I could have only bothered seeing him once a month and I would have seen him more than you saw me! You cannot even _begin_ to lecture me on raising children."

"Please try not to get emotional Brooke; we are in the middle of a business meeting. If you wish to speak to me afterwards I can make some time."

Brooke stared at her incredulously, "try not to get emotional?! This is _my_ creation, _my_ baby and you want to dictate to me what you want for it? Well no more! I may have let you boss me about when I was eighteen but I am twenty three years old now and I will make the creative decisions for _my_ company! I hope you get well soon so that I can really take you on in a board room- I wouldn't want the board to vote for you just because they feel sorry for the cripple with no daughter."

And with that she turned on her heel and stalked out of the room. Millicent stood up from the corner seat she was perched on managing two phones at once and reading an old copy of Vogue at the same time. Her eyes widened, "oh my god what did you do Brooke?"

Brooke readjusted her files and pushed back her hair, "what are you talking about? No nothing, I did nothing. Oh is that July's issue?"

Millicent dropped the magazine on the chair behind her and clutched Brooke's shoulders, "you are flushed and your eyes look mad, what happened?"

"Fine ok! I may have bitched out at her and threatened to cut her out."

Millicent's first reaction was to laugh, then her face fell, "wait; seriously?!"

Brooke nodded, "mhm, and I meant it."

"Wow. I need a drink!"

"It's half eleven Mills."

"So?!"

They headed down the street joyfully and Brooke felt light headed, "I can't believe I just stood up to my mother. I haven't done that, _ever_."

"And all over a store in Tree Hill?" They ducked into their favourite cafe and dropped their bags at the nearest table, "are you sure it's worth it?" Millicent fixed her friend with a serious look and waited for a response.

"I'm sure Mills. I want this. I want to make my life there."

Millicent sat back, her eyes wide, "wow. You are really serious about this!" She waved a hand and a waitress came bustling over, "yeah can I get two vodka shots and a cup of tea please?"

"We don't serve-"

"How about we just get two cups of tea please," Brooke interrupted. The waitress looked relieved and hurried away.

"I was serious about the vodka," Millicent muttered darkly.

"Millie I'm going to need you sober if we're going to do some life changing things this morning," Brooke said sternly, "and the first is to offer you a permanent job with me in Tree Hill- you up for it?"

Millicent narrowed her eyes, "do I answer to you?"

"Directly. You do now anyway."

"Do I get a new office and a raise?"

Brooke chuckled, "probably."

"Of course I'm in- with or without the office. But I wouldn't say no to a raise," she added grinning wickedly.

"Oh yay!" Brooke clapped her hands together. The tea arrived and they sat in comfortable silence for a minute or two drinking happily.

"Ok," Brooke opened her diary, "so I'm thinking we make the proper move next Thursday-" she stopped speaking for a second and Millicent frowned.

"What's up?"

Brooke was silent, flicking pages back and blinking fast, counting in her head, oh, oh, "Brooke?"

Her head snapped up, "sorry Mills, what was I saying?"

"You were talking about next Thursday and then you went a weird colour. Everything ok?"

"Everything's fine," she said briskly, "it will just have to be Friday not Thursday," she smiled quickly. "That's ok right?"

Millicent narrowed her eyes, "why? What's on Thursday that I don't know about?"

Brooke shook her head, "nothing important. Anyway," she stood up quickly, "I gotta go Mills. See you tonight!"

"Wait Brooke!"

She moved like lightning before Millicent could say anything else and dived into the street. A chemist a chemist, she needed a damn chemist. Ah there. Quickly she ran across the street and into the fluorescently lit store. Where were they? Oh here. Woah there were a lot to chose from. Oh man oh man. She got to the desk and the lady at the cash point smiled at her brightly. Brooke gave a half smile back. Well. This was unexpected.

_How many moments can you point to and say, that's when it all changed._


	24. A New York Fairy Tale?

**A/N: I'm sorry I've been so neglectful to this story- I haven't meant to be I've just had NO time! I promise not to make the wait so long again!**

_Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, a girl and a boy fell in love._

Brooke sat on the edge of her roll top bath and breathed in deeply. Whatever the outcome she could handle it. She could totally handle it. It wasn't like she was in a bad place in her life- ok so her and Lucas had only been together again a month and she had just brought a new house and decided to try and fly solo with her company and she hadn't seen her son in three days and that had been the longest they'd ever been apart but hey- she could handle anything right? She was Brooke Davis, she was captain of the cheerleaders, student body president, owner of a multimillion dollar company, she had magazine covers with her face on them, she glanced down at her watch and stood with shaky legs. She moved over to the sink and peered in, well, that was that. She was pregnant. She closed her eyes and tried to work out her first emotion...happy. She was happy. Oh god now she was going to be sick.

* * *

"And so, I think you'll agree, that due to my experience, my success with the company so far and with my willing to learn, Clothes Over Bros will be in safe hands with Brooke Davis." Brooke gave her trademark side smile with her dimples on full effect and then took her seat at the head of the table. It was 9am and she already felt exhausted. She'd been so wired when she'd left the house and now, she was weary. She had to persuade the entire board to choose her over her mother. She needed them to choose her.

The board members leant towards one another, muttering and discussing what they'd just heard. Finally Mr Benton cleared his throat, "thank you Miss Davis for your enlightening presentation. However, the board have a few concerns."

Brooke nodded slowly, "ok- would you care to elaborate?"

"Well for one thing Miss Davis; you have no business experience."

"I- I have run my own business for nearly five years, I should think that would be experience enough."

"You did not run it alone however, you were supported by, ahem, your mother."

"That is ridiculous," Brooke said bristling; god was it hot in here? "My _mother_ only came on the picture to 'support me' as you call it when I actually made my company its first million."

"Ms Davis-"

"Please don't call me that; you make me sound old and dried up."

Victoria shifted in her seat at the foot of the table and cleared her throat, "Brooke-"

"It's not your turn to speak _Ms_ Davis."

"But perhaps I can help you Brooke dear."

"I don't believe so Victoria, you're not helpful on anything else so I can't see why you would-"

"You're behaving like child Brooke; please think about what you're doing!"

"I have thought about it mother; I have thought long and hard and the only way I will ever be able to live my own life is if I take my company out from under your fingers," Brooke hissed across at her.

"I have always let you make your own choices-"

"You have not! You have manipulated my decisions from day one-"

Mr Benton cleared his throat, "ahem ladies."

Brooke scowled over at Victoria and then smiled brightly, "I apologise Mr Benton."

"Perhaps you would both like to step outside whilst the board confer; it might help keep things neutral if neither of you were present."

Brooke stood up and straightened pencil skirt, "of course," she said politely, "take your time."

She marched outside and down the hall feeling the frustration boil up, this was _her_ company! Oh and now she needed to sit down; she felt light headed with anger, curse the day Victoria had decided to come back into her life! She reached for her cell and sat down heavily, she could call Lucas now and talk to him- tell him about her pain in the ass mother-

"Brooke!" Speak of the she-devil. Her mother appeared above her and Brooke sighed.

"Mother if I throw this bottle of Evian on you will you melt?"

"Very funny. I cannot believe you have taken this so far! The board are ludicrous to even be discussing your suggestion. I have done everything for this company; I have dedicated five years of my life to it- to you!"

"You haven't dedicated a minute of your entire life to me mom; that's the point." She flipped her cell open and stood up slowly- she really couldn't afford to get light headed in front of Victoria- that would be seen as a weakness. "Now if you don't mind, I have an extremely important call to make."

* * *

_What's on your mind kiddo?_

_Brooke._

Lucas watched Jayden dive into the pool and emerge shaking his wet hair laughing. He was so vibrant, so full of energy, he loved watching him. "Hey Jayden you want some juice?"

Jayden's head appeared from under the water and he grinned, "can I have it in the pool?"

Lucas chuckled, "I'm not sure it's good for you to drink all that chlorine with it kiddo."

"No silly! I meant on here," he clambered into a rubber ring and stretched out a hand, "please?"

"Oh go on then," Luke knelt by the pool and passed him a cup, "don't spill it though- you'll get really sticky."

Jayden drank thirstily and then gave him back the cup, "thanks Lucas."

"You're welcome," he added a silent son and then sat back and watched Jayden dive back under the water, drinking in the autumn sun, wishing Brooke was with them too.

"Hey Luke-" he tilted his head upwards to see his best friend standing over him holding Grace in one arm and sun cream in the other, "you don't want Jay to burn- get some of this on him."

"Thanks Hales- hey aquaman; splash over this way for a second would you please?"

Jayden narrowed his eyes at the bottle of sun cream, "do I have to wear that?"

"Yes!" Lucas and Haley both chorused before Haley sat down on a sun lounger smiling and Lucas moved forward to rub the cream across his son's back.

"See? Done in a second."

"It's cold!"

"Ah quit your whining Sco- Davis's are made of stronger stuff!" He bit his lip as Jayden dived back in tp the water and turned to see Haley raising her eyebrows at him.

"Nice recovery you dork," she said teasingly.

"Hey I didn't say it on purpose! I'm just getting so used to him and me you know? I want him to be- you know, mine," he said finally. He sat down beside Haley and gazed out at the boy kicking his legs around joyfully.

Haley reached across and squeezed his hand, "you and Brooke will figure this out Luke- you two always do."

He turned and squinted at her, "speaking of figuring things out- have you talked to Nathan?"

She flinched and pulled Grace closer, kissing the top of the little girl's head, "no," she said shortly.

"Hales-"

"Nathan and I will not speaking again for a long time," she said firmly.

"Haley-"

"Lucas I love you for trying but this is not the time- I just want to relax and be with my children for a while ok?" She sighed and laid back, letting Grace play with a ball in between the two sun loungers, "I just wish we could get away from all of this, spend some time away from all the drama!"

Lucas reached over and squeezed her arm, "yeah I know."

"Hey Lucas!" He turned to see Jayden standing on the diving board, "watch me do this jump!"

"Alright dude- I'm watching."

"Show us what you've got Jayden," Haley called, sitting up to watch him.

Jayden ran along the board and stretched his arms wide as he jumped; making a star and making Lucas suspect he would have an excellent jump shot in a few years. Haley smirked as though she could read his thoughts, "at least give him a chance to decide if he likes the damn sport first," she said lightly.

He shot her a look but her face was full of humour; not bitterness like it could have been. The game had taken up so much of her life- and for what? He felt a burst of anger at Nathan and stood up suddenly, pushing his hands into his pockets, "Jayden can do anything with his life," he said firmly. "I'll support him no matter _what_."

Haley smiled up at him, "that's good to hear Luke. Hey actually- have you heard from Brooke?"

Lucas grinned, "yeah actually- her mom's making her crazy. I got about three words in during her rant this morning." His smile faded slightly, "I really miss her."

"Yeah I know," Haley said softly.

He glanced over at her, "Haley-"

She sat up suddenly, "maybe you don't have to miss her for much longer."

He frowned, "she's in New York until the end of the week."

"Hey if the mountain don't come to you my friend- you gotta go to the mountain." She jumped up and swooped Grace into her arms, "let's go to New York!"

* * *

The streets were loud and dirty and Brooke wrinkled up her nose as she walked, ugh Manhattan just wasn't as pretty as it used to be. She tripped on a loose pavement stone and cursed, catching a lamp post to steady herself, clutching her stomach instinctively. Ok, that was unexpected; in more than one way. She hurried along again, determined to get back to the office before it started raining when her cell began to ring. Man oh man it was like she couldn't take a breath!

"Yes?"

It was Millicent; "_Brooke we're having dinner to say goodbye to New York tonight- Amis and Bailey will be there and I'll swing by yours to pick you up at eight thirty ok?"_

"What if I have plans?"

"_Honey I run your schedule and I know you don't- you're a loner without me and your man back in Tree Hill, so I'll see you at eight thirty."_

She smirked and rolled her eyes, "sometimes I wonder why I don't fire you."

"_I'm your only friend with style?"_

"I have a book full of friends with style- see the magazine covers Mills," she retorted.

"_Yes but they don't love you like I do so I'll see you at eight thirty- wear something ultra hot so that Amis doesn't complain."_

"I thought he'd softened up since he and Matheus got together?"

"_No sweetie- so last spring, god you really have been missing from the city; he's with some fabulous Hugo Boss model now and back on the warpath against anything that looks like it belongs on a sale rack."_

Brooke chuckled, sometimes she did miss the New York gossip- and the gorgeous men with better fashion sense than anyone else she knew, "I'll be ready," she said finally.

"_Perfect- see you then."_

A last hurrah in New York before the return to Tree Hill- she felt a pang of sadness suddenly- she had loved this place once. It had been her saving grace from a heartbreak she never thought she would survive. She ducked back inside just as the rain began to fall and took some deep breaths before stepping into the nearest elevator. Now all she needed was for her mother to get caught in the rain and get struck by lightning and her day would be great.

Her Prada stilettos tapped loudly as she walked back into the conference room, smiling widely, "so, is everybody in agreement? Brooke Davis can run her company alone right?" There was a silence and she raised an eyebrow, "well?"

Mr Benton cleared his throat in the same annoying way he always did when he was nervous, "Miss Davis would you like to sit down?"

She glanced down to where her mother was sitting, her hands folded in her lap, looking out of the window smugly, and she knew what was coming. "I think I'd rather stand," she said firmly, smoothing out her skirt.

"Miss Davis- Brooke, the board are in complete agreement that you are an excellent designer and a wonderful head of Clothes Over Bros, however," he shuffled some papers and feeling her knees give way she dropped into the nearest chair- staring at him grimly.

"Yes?"

"We are unanimous in our decision that you are not yet ready to run a multi- million dollar company alone, especially under the circumstances."

She blinked and then frowned, "the- the circumstances?"

He shifted uncomfortably and glanced at the man next to him- Mr Eads who ummed for a minute and Brooke lost her patience, "what circumstances?!"

"Your- obviously young and well with your decision to move to North Carolina and your- umm- your son."

She stood up furiously, "what?!" She glanced around at the board incredulously, "you're using my child as the reason not to let me run my own company?! How dare you!?"

"Miss Davis-" a woman who's name she didn't remember attempted to speak but Brooke held up a finger.

"Now isn't the time for you to find a voice!"

"Brooke that is no way to speak to your board!"

"Don't you even start with me mother- you, you planted this in their minds as soon as I told you about the store in Tree Hill didn't you?"

"I am not as manipulative as you think Brooke."

"No you are more so. Tell them mother- tell them what you, a mother, said about my son- about how he was holding me back!"

"Brooke I said no such thing and the board has made their decision based on the facts. Fact- you are a young woman; not one with the years of experience it takes to make the judgements you think you are capable of doing-"

"I-"

"Fact two- you have decided to go and live in the sticks which as wonderful as I'm sure it is for you, is not convenient to run a company from. I am sure you wish to put your son's needs above all others and I understand that but it also means this company is not your number one concern. The board agrees with me that it makes sense for us to remain _partners_."

Brooke was silent for a second and then she said clearly, "absolutely not." The entire board turned to look at her in surprise.

"Brooke-" Victoria stood up, "what do you mean by that?"

She shook her head slowly, "I won't stay in a place that lets the woman who abandoned me run things anymore. I don't know why I ever stood for it in the first place."

"Because you were lost and helpless and I saved you Brooke Penelope Davis, I _saved_ you!"

Her head jerked up and she met her mother's eyes, "no mom," she said firmly, "you didn't. I did that. I have relied on myself for as long as I can remember and now- I can't let my son grow up that way. I want him to know that he is the first thing I think about _every_ time, _every_ moment. And I want to set a good example, a better example than the one you set me and I don't want to see his role model answer to someone like you." She shrugged slightly and took a breath, "so that's it. I resign- the company's yours mom."

"What?!"

"Miss Davis I really must object-"

"Miss Davis wait-"

"You _cannot_ do that Brooke."

"Enough!" She held up a hand and then reached across the table, snatching at the nearest document and scribbling across it, "I just did mom- congratulations. You get the company and I get to go home to my family." She paused by the door and gave a half smile, "I guess we both win right?"

* * *

She couldn't feel her legs as she walked down the same corridor she had paraded up so confidently ten minutes earlier. Had she just done that? Had she just given up her company?! She collapsed against the back wall of the elevator and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. Oh god oh god, she had nothing. Nothing. She was so stupid! She had just bought a house- what was she thinking!? She shook herself and reconsidered, no this was a good thing. This company did not mean everything. She had Jayden no matter what- and she had Lucas. But now- now was the worst time to- her hands splayed across her stomach suddenly as she retched and she caught hold of the bar across the side wall, balancing herself.

She felt the rain slide down her neck and soak her shoulders in seconds, so much for wishing Victoria would be the victim of the storm. It was her stuck in the street without a damn umbrella. A bus flew past, catching a puddle not yet drained and covered her from head to toe in muddy water, "oooh craaaap!" She stood frozen still, holding her hands out in shock, "dammit!" She shouted to no-one in particular. An old woman walking past gave her a shocked look and a younger girl; a sympathetic nod before passing Brooke a tissue. "Thanks," Brooke murmured sadly.

The girl smiled, "I love your clothes."

"They're not mine anymore," she said morosely.

The girl looked shocked, "well whoever stole them should give you them back because your blue wrap dress got me my fiancée."

Brooke felt a faint smile creep across her face, "well- I'm not sure they're _that_ good."

"No seriously- it was like he saw me in a whole new light." The girl held out a hand for the next bus and turned again to smile at Brooke, "I owe you."

Brooke held up the tissue she had been using to wipe off her mascara, "consider us even."

The girl laughed and dashed onto the bus leaving Brooke standing in the middle of the street, her clothes plastered to her skin, but feeling slightly less of a failure than three minutes earlier.

She hailed a cab and muttered her address before sinking back and closing her eyes, listening to the rain and the traffic, letting it all wash over her. She was poor. She was poor and she had a son to support and god- she was pregnant as well. How would Lucas take it? She bit her lip hard. He'd barely gotten used to the idea of Jayden in his life and now this- why hadn't she been more careful?! She was driving herself crazy with so many thoughts. "Hey can you stop here please?"

"We're not quite there yet Miss-"

"That's ok," she said quickly, passing through double the fare, "I feel like walking. Thanks," she added before jumping out. The rain had almost stopped and the light drizzle had no impact on her wet clothes anyway. A perfect pair of Prada's were ruined though- stupid bus. She headed forward across the road and smiled, suddenly relaxed, she was at the park she always took Jayden. They always came here on Saturday afternoons no matter what. It was their special place and it always calmed her down. Whether it had been a fight with Victoria or an awkward conversation with Peyton avoiding talking about Lucas, she had always managed to find some sort of serenity here. She gazed over the lake thinking about Lucas. She had no doubt he was the love of her life. From the moment she'd seen him she'd known he was special, and from then on he'd proved her right. He had treated her with respect and made her laugh and made her feel different. And now she knew he truly felt the same she knew she would be happy with him forever. True he'd broken her heart, _twice_, but he had mended it too. She had healed the parts that she could fix alone, but only Lucas could really heal her- as clichéd as it sounded even in her own head she knew it was true. She picked at an unnamed flower and dropped it on the water, watching it float away. If giving up her company meant she and he could have the family she'd always wanted; she'd do it again in a heartbeat.

She turned away from the lake and took a breath. This was her choice, her life.

* * *

_._

"Good evening Miss Davis," her doorman smiled politely and opened the door for her, "busy afternoon?"

"You could say that," she said lightly. He nodded and she smiled, "thanks," before ducking inside. Ah thank god, home sweet home. She wondered if she would be able to afford this place now. She knew she was moving but it would have been nice to keep the apartment for her and Jay and even Lucas to come back to occasionally. She'd have liked Lucas to have seen where she had lived in New York. To show him she'd brought Jayden up in a nice environment.

Finally she was home, she unlocked her door and dropped her bag on the floor. Kicking off her shoes she began to move towards the kitchen when she stopped; something was weird. Something wasn't right.

"What do you look like Miss Davis?"

She span round in complete shock and gasped, "Luke?!" She threw her arms around him laughing and crying all at the same time.

_Hey pretty girl._

_Hi boyfriend, I missed you._

_I missed you back._

"Hey hey," he pulled away and touched her cheek, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing nothing god I'm just so glad to see you!" She hugged him tightly again and he lifted her up slowly.

"Oh I missed you babe- bed is way too big without you."

She smiled and touched his face, "same- I don't have anyone to kick when you're not there."

He laughed and then drew her close, "well then I guess you better not go anywhere without me ever again," he muttered before kissing her.

She closed her eyes and held him tightly, "god I have so much-"

"Hey mom we're out of chocolate milk."

Automatically she began to respond, "there's some in the fridge in my bedr-" she stopped and looked down, "Jayden?!" She swooped down and picked him up, "oh my boy! Wow you got big in just a little time!"

"Hey momma," he wrapped his arms around her for a minute, feeling at home and safe and then said again, "so where's the chocolate milk please?"

She laughed and then touched his nose, "I missed you so much buddy."

"Me too mom- but it was cool hanging out with Lucas and Haley."

She glanced at Lucas in amusement and he grinned, shrugging, "alright then Jay- the milk's in the fridge in my bedroom- go get some but only because this is such a good surprise- that stuff is really bad for your teeth mister."

"That must be why it's in your room right then babe?" Lucas wrapped his arms around her waist again as Jayden disappeared, "to keep it away from the boy?"

"Of course," she said innocently before breaking out into a smile again, "I cannot believe you're here! In New York."

"Well it was my idea," came a voice.

Brooke looked over Lucas' shoulder and then gave a whoop that almost deafened him, "Hales!"

"Hey Brooke," they hugged tightly for a minute and then Haley pulled away, "thought I'd give you a minute to reunite with he who pines and moans without you over there, but I wanted to let you know I was here too. Hope you don't mind us crashing your place."

"God of course I don't! But what are you guys doing here seriously? And how did you get in? I swear my doorman should know not to let riff raff like you two in," she said teasingly.

Lucas poked her ribs, "that's just not funny," he replied, before winding his arms round her waist from behind as she moved into the living room with Haley. Grace was asleep on the sofa and Jayden appeared, accompanied by Jamie- both with chocolate milk.

"Hi Aunt Brooke," Jamie said beaming and waving, before settling down next to Jayden to watch Aladdin.

Brooke waved and then turned with wide eyes to Haley, "seriously what is going on?! Not that it isn't fabulous to see you both- I really needed to see some friendly faces tonight."

Haley frowned in concern, "what's going on?"

"Oh," she waved a hand, "nothing that can't wait." She avoided the double meaning of that sentence in her head and sat down heavily on the floor next to her boy. Lucas dropped down next to her and pulled her legs across his comfortably- now that she was here there was no way he wanted to be even an inch apart from her. Haley smiled at them both, feeling suddenly content for the first time in weeks. She clapped her hands together, feeling like maybe Brooke and Lucas might need some time together.

"Hey do you guys mind if I go get some stuff for the boys to eat- Brooke you only have v-o-d-k-a in the fridge, although it's unopened so I guess you must be behaving a little bit up here," she jested. Brooke scrunched her nose up at her in response and then nodded.

"Sure there's a store just on the corner of the block- hey do you want the company?"

"Actually if you can keep an eye on Grace I think I'll take the boys and let you two catch up," Haley said, squeezing her friends arm and then grabbing her coat, "boys?"

They both jumped up, "come on dude I'll show you where they have this really cool video section," Jayden said excitedly.

"Cool!"

"Hey hey," Brooke said, "come here and hug me first."

Obediently he came over and she pulled him close, "oh I love you my boy."

"I love you too momma," he said happily before running out the door after Jamie.

"Thanks Hales- I'll pay you back," Brooke said quickly.

Haley waved a hand, "hey you're putting me up, it's the least I can do," she held up a hand, "nothing x-rated please, my daughter is asleep right there."

Brooke scrunched her nose up in response, "we're not going to do anything like that."

"We're not?" Lucas said incredulously, "that's what I flew in for."

She hit him on the shoulder and he rolled over laughing, "I'm kidding!" He leant back up to kiss her, "I was kidding," he murmured.

"Whatever," she muttered, kissing him back.

Haley rolled her eyes affectionately and disappeared out the door. Brooke pulled away, "Hales?"

"So we're ok to stay?" Lucas sat up and switched the television to ESPN as Brooke got up to switch into a dry tee shirt.

"Sure," she shouted from the bedroom, "although where everyone will sleep is beyond me."

He appeared at the door, leaning on the frame, watching her brush out her damp hair, "you look so beautiful, "he said softly.

She stopped and raised her eyebrows, "you still can't get any mister," she slid past him, touching his chest gently, "let's go sit with Gracie and contain ourselves ok?"

He sighed dramatically, "fine!"

They settled into her favourite cream arm chair and his blue eyes fixed on her face, "so how was your week?"

She flinched slightly and then smiled, "why don't you tell me about yours? How was your flight? Did you guys book last minute? And how did you get Jamie out of school," she moved to get up but Lucas caught her arms.

"Brooke," he said firmly, "I always when something is up with you and I saw it the minute you walked in that door, what's going on?"

She sighed and then squeezed her eyes tightly shut for a second, "ok fine I'm pregnant," she jumped up form his limp hands and began to pace, "and I didn't plan it or anything- I mean please don't think I tried to trap you or god knows what you're thinking because it's fast I know it's fast and I'm freaking out here and I don't know if you're ok I mean are you ok? Because I think I'm ok with it but I don't know if you'll be ok with it, I'm-" he stood up suddenly and put a hand over her mouth.

"Ok," he said softly.

She stepped back and pulled a dubious face, "ok as in you're ok or we're ok or ok you're gonna leave?"

He laughed, "all of what you just said except that I'm not going anywhere," he reached out and took her hand, kissing it gently before looking back into her eyes, "we're gonna have another baby?"

She felt like she had no words. There were no words, she couldn't form a word, a sound, she was in shock. Finally she smiled, "yes," she softly, "we're gonna have a baby!"

He broke out into a laugh and then pulled her into a huge hug, spinning her round, "oh my god!"

"Oh," she said suddenly and he froze just as he was about to kiss her.

"What?"

"You should also know that I resigned- and I'm now really poor."

He nodded slowly for a second and then shook his head smiling, "rich or poor you're still Brooke Davis and I love you."

"Really?" She asked softly, touching his face, "even if you have to get a job at a supermarket or something?"

He chuckled, "even if I have to get Hales to teach me how to play guitar and I have to play to earn our supper. I love you- and I am so happy I get to have a family with you."

She smiled, "I love you too."

Finally he leant forward and kissed her and in that moment, everything else was irrelevant.

_And in the end the love between the Princess and the boy was undeniable and true._


	25. Change Comes, You Remain The Same

**A/N: First off, thanks for the reviews guys- they've been so great and supportive; it means a great deal :) second off- Brooke isn't poor- she was just being over-dramatic lol. And I wanted to emphasise how much it meant for Brooke that Lucas isn't into her because she's rich or successful- even at what she considers her worst moments- he still sees the things he loves about her shining through. I apologise for the delay again but now my exams are OVER I can finally get back to my OTH stories so yay!**

**Disclaimer: I keep forgetting to do these but I guess it's kind of obvious I don't own OTH, seeing as how I would never let Hilarie leave.**

_Have fun with your family._

Brooke pushed open the door to the spare room and padded across the carpet, "wakey wakey," she sang out.

"Uhhh Brooke!" Haley sat up rubbing her eyes, "it's early."

"You've never been one to sleep in before," Brooke sat down on the edge of the bed, handing her friend a mug of coffee, "you wanna talk about what's going on with you yet?"

Haley took a sip and smiled faintly, "that's good coffee."

"Yeah I know- I get it from this little place I know called Starbucks," Brooke said dimpling at her. Her own drink was a hot chocolate but she found that for some reason she wasn't quite ready to tell the rest of the world why she'd given up coffee; she needed time to get used to it and she needed to tell Jay. She needed to tell Jay a whole lot of things.

"Brooke!" Haley interrupted her thoughts and she smiled quickly.

"What? Come on, today was the kinda day only the best coffee can be drunk. Today I embrace being poor."

Haley sniggered, "by buying overpriced beverages? Besides you're not poor Brooke; you could still buy my house _and_ Luke's without blinking."

Brooke raised an eyebrow, "so not the point. Anyway," she pushed Haley's leg, "we were talking about you girly."

"Ahh Brooke, I don't know where to start. I mean I know we were drifting but _cheating_. Ugh it's like I don't even know him anymore."

"Maybe you just don't know this side of him," Brooke said softly, "but he's still the same guy underneath."

"It doesn't really matter what side of him I know or what I feel though Brooke- he says he's in love with Peyton."

There was a silence as Brooke digested this new information. She struggled for a positive that wasn't 'let's just kill Peyton.' Finally she said, "ok, but then since when have you ever given in without a fight Hales?"

Haley shrugged, "I want my kids to see me as this happy and whole person, not someone running after a guy that doesn't love me anymore. I want to be a good role model like you've been for Jay- not fall to pieces and be a terrible example."

"Yeah but honey in the long term it didn't do me or Jay any good staying away- holding everyone at arms length. You can't keep running forever trust me. And you could never be a bad example for Jamie and Grace."

Smiling faintly Haley rolled over to pull on her watch and then sipped her coffee, "thanks Brooke. So, do you have plans for today?"

Brooke did have plans and they were to stay wrapped in the safety of her family and do nothing else. She wanted to savour this time with them. She padded into the kitchen yawning as she left Haley to get dressed and Lucas turned from washing a bowl up in the sink.

"Morning pretty girl, you sleep well?" He had not been allowed to sleep in her room and had instead been asigned to a comfortable if slightly too small couch.

She went up on tiptoes to kiss him hello and then reached for a clean dish, nodding as she did so, "uh huh- for the first time all week," her eyes sparkled at him and she looked so content. He smiled. It was so good to be acting like a real couple instead of being in limbo.

"Hey- what are you thinking looking so serious over there broody?" She crossed her legs as she down on the nearest kitchen chair, "you remember our rule- no brooding before at least lunchtime."

He chuckled, "ha ha. I wasn't even thinking serious things; I was just thinking how glad I am you're my girlfriend."

She eyed him suspiciously for a second and then when he didn't laugh she dimpled back at him, "well I'm glad you're my boyfriend pretty boy."

"I'm relieved to hear it," he said crouching down in front of her, "cause I'm kind of getting used to you being around- and I gotta be honest... I kind of like you."

She felt a smile creep back on her face- she couldn't stop them today, "it's a good job I like you too then right? Otherwise you'd be throwing yourself off a cliff or something, you and your over dramatics."

He pouted, "not fair- I'm not the overdramatic one in this relationship miss 'we're going to be poor now' Davis."

"Shut up! I was just seeing if you'd still love me," she said shrugging casually.

He straightened up rolling his eyes as he turned back to the dishes, "as if I'd ever stop."

_I never gave a rat's ass before, ok? __But I do now._

_That's good, because um, I give a rat's ass about you too._

She watched his back fondly and was about to say something else when Jayden appeared sleepily, "hey baby," she pulled him close and kissed the top of his head, "you want some toast?"

"Mmmm yes please Momma."

She felt a flash of joy that despite the new attempts to be grown up and call her 'mom' Jayden still reverted back to the old familiar name when he was tired. She slipped past Lucas, running a hand easily across his back as she did so and slipped several slices of bread in the toaster. She pulled Philadelphia out of the fridge and poured orange juice at the same time before placing it front of her boy and stroking his hair affectionately. "Start with that buddy and your toast will be two minutes."

"Thanks momma," he said happily before drinking thirstily.

Brooke smiled and leant back against the counter, Lucas slid an arm around her waist and touched her stomach, whispering in her ear as he kissed the side of her head, "you feeling ok this morning beautiful?"

She played with his hand, still watching Jayden drink and nodded mutely before looking up at him and meeting his eyes. His eyes were dancing and she felt like an excited child just thinking about the future. Jayden put down his glass with a satisfied bang and Brooke moved to refill just as Haley appeared carrying Grace.

"Morning Lucas, Jayden hey," she sat down beside them and looked around, "where Jamie?"

They all looked at Jayden who shrugged awkwardly, "he didn't want to get up this morning, he said-" he stopped for a second and Brooke bit her lip, she could guess what Jamie had said. "He said he missed his dad," Jayden finished finally.

Haley sighed and rested her head in her hand for a second and then Grace suddenly began to scream.

"Hey," Lucas said suddenly, "why don't I go see if I can't persuade him to come and get some breakfast? I bet he's starving."

He winked at Brooke briefly and rested his hand on Haley's shoulder as he passed her and headed towards Jayden's bedroom. The toast popped up and Brooke gestured to her son, "here buddy- you want Philadelphia yeah?"

"Yes please," he clambered off his chair and came to stand next to her at the counter, he was getting taller all the time and Brooke shook herself, she could so not get teary eyed about that right now. "Thanks mom," he said as he took the plate and she rolled her eyes, she was going to have to get used to him growing up.

"Alright, I think we found the youngest Scott man of the family," Lucas suddenly called, "but for some reason, he doesn't want to get out of bed!" His voice was full of teasing, "I'm tickling-"

"Stop it Uncle Lucas!"

"I'm tickling him but-" Jamie's scream of laughter filled the kitchen, "but it doesn't seem to be working! Can I get another pair of hands in here?"

Jayden abandoned his toast and ran from the kitchen shouting and Brooke chuckled and followed him into his bedroom. Lucas was half immersed in duvets and Jamie was laughing wildly, pushing him away. Jayden dived onto Lucas' back and wrapped his arms around his neck, "ohh so now there's two of you!? Ha! You think you're stronger than me?"

Brooke watched from the door as Lucas flipped Jayden carefully onto the bed and attacked them both. "You can't mess with the master!"

"Try tickling him back boys! Come one, you've gotta fight the monster!" She called over the laughter.

Lucas looked up at her wide eyed, "who are you calling a monster?!"

Haley appeared jiggling a quieter Grace on her hip and smiled as she saw her son laughing. Brooke squeezed her friends arm, "he'll be ok," she said quietly.

"I wish I knew what I could do to make it easier," Haley said sadly.

"Keep him with the people that make him happy," Brooke said simply, "the Nathan stuff will come in time." She stepped forward to break in as for last two minutes Lucas had been making slightly desperate eyes at her to help, "alright boys! I think you won!" Both boys jumped up and down on the bed cheering and dancing round Lucas who collapsed on his back with a groan.

"Come on warriors," Haley called, "soldiers need sustenance." They jumped off the bed and making war cries they followed Haley back into the kitchen.

Brooke lay down next to Lucas and he took her hand slowly, "ohh man I think I broke a rib- their little feet can really kick you know?"

She chuckled, "you were great with them baby."

He sighed and kissed her hand, "well I sure hope so, specially," he rolled over to touch her stomach again, "if we're gonna be doing all this again soon enough. Hey kid," he whispered, "it's your dad."

She stroked the top of his head and suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of happiness and then a swoop of panic. "Luke-"

He looked up at her concerned, "what?"

"We're gonna be ok at this right? I mean I can't do this again by myself- I-" she could hardly say the words, "I really need you."

"Hey," he said softly, "I'm not going _anywhere_. I love you Brooke Davis and we're gonna build a great family together." He stroked her hair and kissed her softly. "Promise me that right? That we're gonna have lots of babies and see them grow up happy and special and then we're gonna grow old together and have a porch swing and even when I'm cranky you'll still be my cheery girl."

She smiled and touched his cheek, "I promise."

_This is how I spent my summer Luke- wanting you. I was just too scared to admit it._

Jayden suddenly appeared at the door, "Jamie! He's still down! Quick, quick!" And he dived forward and pounced on Lucas. Brooke got up swiftly, automatically protecting her stomach and then grinned as Jamie appeared shouting before jumping on top of Lucas who then let out a strangled noise.

"Brooke!"

"Good luck mighty one," she called as she disappeared down the hall to find the camera.

"You're the devil!"

She chuckled and re-appeared holding her pink digital camera and waved it in the air, "smile baby!"

"Arrrghhhhhh!"

Eventually the boys calmed down and they managed to get them dressed and ready to head out. No longer answering her company phone Brooke had no other obligations and they decided to let the boys run out all their energy at the park. As they were heading for the main entrance of the apartment block Millicent came through the swinging doors.

"Brooke!"

"Mills?"

"When you cancelled on me last night I didn't want to come over- you sounded so _happy_," she gestured to Haley and Lucas, "hey guys, you mind if I borrow Brooke for a minute?"

Her hand was like an iron vice as she tugged Brooke away, "ow Mills!" She smiled quickly at everyone else, "you guys go ahead- I'll catch up! If I'm alive," she added, "ow Mills let go!"

Millicent let go and then folded her arms, "anything you wanna tell me about the last twenty four hours that I won't be finding out from the Clothes Over Bros monthly newsletter?"

Brooke pulled a guilty face, "oh god I'm sorry I didn't tell you last night- it's just that I also had this other really big news and-"

"Oh yeah, you have news? I have big news too! Bitchwhoria fired me today."

"Wh- what?!"

"Yeah something about how her company appreciated loyalty and needed someone who was willing to go the distance and not run off to Tree Hill on a whim and when I defended you she said I was fired. No reason, just, I was fired."

Brooke stared at her open mouthed, "oh god Mills I'm so sorry."

Millicent waved her hand, "as much as I will care about the lack of a discount at the best clothes store I shop at later, right now I care about what the hell happened yesterday!"

"Ok," Brooke thought fast, "look the long and short of it is that my mother persuaded the board that Clothes Over Bros is better off in her hands but Mills- I meant what I said when I offered you a job in Tree Hill and you shouldn't worry- we can _steal_ those clothes now and no-one can do anything because _technically_ they're mine!"

Millicent chuckled, "well technically maybe but oh lord your mother actually cut you off?"

"No, not quite, I resigned."

Millicent stared at her for a second and then shook her head, "that's it. You are never going to another meeting without me!"

Brooke smiled and then pulled a face, "so you're ok?"

"Oh honey if I've got a job and you've got a plan we're all good- besides, New York would be so dull without you!"

"Ohh Mills! I think god was apologising for Peyton when he arranged for me to meet you," Brooke said laughing and throwing an arm round Millicent's shoulders.

Millicent chuckled, "well I'll take that as a compliment!"

"Ok great! So the first thing I need you to do is call Rachel."

"Really?"

"Yeah it is so time to get her back doing the thing she's best at and I miss her skinny ass."

"Me too!"

* * *

Brooke left the apartment building with arrangements to fly back to Tree Hill with Mills and explain everything else the next day. She crossed the road quickly and half ran, half danced into the park. Lucas was sitting wrapped in a scarf and an old grey Keith Scott Motors hoodie and suddenly he looked exactly like the sixteen year old she'd fallen in love with. Then he turned and smiled at her and she realised just how much he'd changed and how much more she was in love with him now. He had wisdom and real love in his eyes and the five o'clock shadow that was slowly developing over a few days made him look so rugged and handsome. She smiled and slid down onto the bench next to him, slipping one of her gloved hands into his. "Jayden ok?"

"Yeah, he's on the slide over there with Jamie."

"Where's Hales?"

"She's been on the phone for like, twenty minutes over there." Lucas motioned to where Haley was standing with her back to them, gently rocking Gracie's pram and talking quietly.

"Nathan?"

"No I don't think so," Lucas said frowning, "she hasn't picked up his calls all week and she answered this one straight away."

Brooke pondered all the people that might be calling Haley for a second and then Jayden came running over breathless. "Hey mom!"

"Hey gorgeous boy, you ok?"

He nodded happily and then slid down in between them. Suddenly Brooke felt like now was as good a time as any to tell him about Lucas. No big fanfares, no fancy restaurants, but a place he knew and felt safe in- people who knew and loved close by. If anything went wrong the apartment was just down the road. She glanced at Lucas and tilted her head towards Jayden mouthing words at him. He raised his eyebrows in surprise and then inhaled sharply and nodded. She felt a frission of excitement followed by a stroke of nerves, oh god what if he hated them for lying to him? What if he was only being nice to Lucas because he thought he was temporary and he hated him secretly? Oh god?

"Jayden," Lucas suddenly began and Brooke found she was holding her breath.

Jay looked up at them innocently, "yeah?"

Lucas couldn't form the right words and looked at Brooke for support, she rolled her eyes forgetting her nerves momentarily and the mother role completely took over as she wrapped an arm around her son. "Baby you know how up till now it's always been you and me? And I always promised that one day I would tell you why and why we didn't talk much about your dad."

Jayden's eyes searched hers in confusion, "are you gonna tell me today?"

"Well, if you want, you can ask any question you like and I'll answer it ok? It's all up to you and how much you want to know."

He was silent and then he said, "did he not want me?"

"Oh sweetheart he wanted you and he would have cared for you with all his heart."

"Then why didn't he ever come and see us in New York?"

"Well, when we moved to New York you were just a little baby and it was a new start for just you and me and your dad wasn't part of that adventure. But now, if _you_ want, he can be a part of our lives and you can talk to him whenever you want."

There was another silence and Jayden stared at the ground, Brooke rubbed his shoulders, "you ok buddy? You wanna ask any more questions?"

"Do I get to ever meet him?"

"Well... what if I told you that you'd already met him?"

Jayden shrugged, "do I like him?" Brooke bit her lip, she had no idea.

"I don't know baby- that's up to you. But your dad- your dad is sitting right next to you."

Jayden looked up in surprise and then twisted to look at Lucas. Slowly Lucas raised a hand and then smiled nervously, "hey."

Brooke could barely breathe as she watched them. Finally Jayden smiled back and then nodded, "hey."

"You wanna ask me anything?" Lucas said softly.

"Do you want to stay now?"

"I do Jayden. But only if you're ok with it. Are you ok with it?"

Jayden was very quiet and Brooke could feel her heart pounding oh god oh god.

"Jamie said that you two used to be a couple a long time ago- why didn't you stay together?"

"Well- sometimes couples need a break just to realise how much they love each other and they have to do things alone just to make sure they're right for each other," Brooke said softly, stroking her son's hair.

"Are you gonna live with us too?"

"Maybe," Lucas said quietly, "if you want me to."

Jayden nodded, "I do."

"Ok, well I can do that- I mean I'd like to do that."

"Do you love my mom?"

"I love you both- so much, Jay."

Jayden leant against Lucas' arm suddenly, "I'm glad it's you Lucas," he said quietly.

Brooke wiped the tears from her face quickly and exhaled hard.

Lucas slipped an arm round his son's, "me too buddy."

There was a long silence and Brooke wondered whether Jayden needed to talk but didn't want to upset her or Lucas, "you ok Jay? You wanna go for a walk just the two of us and talk?"

Jayden sat up, "no thanks. I'm ok." He glanced at Lucas suddenly, "do I call you dad or Lucas?"

"Umm-" Lucas floundered, "whatever you want."

There was another pause and Brooke wondered how he was taking all this so well. "Jay- you sure there's nothing you need to say or even shout at me? This is a lot to take in all at once and you're being really brave about it."

Jayden smiled up at her, "can I go on the slide now?"

"I- uhh- if you want baby."

"You're not- angry or upset? You don't wanna talk?" Lucas tried again.

"Not really," Jayden suddenly grinned, "I kind of already knew anyway."

Both Brooke and Lucas glanced at each other and then at their son in surprise, "you what?!"

"Jamie heard his mom and dad talking about it ages ago and told me and-" he shrugged, "we worked out that now we're related which is so cool!"

Brooke was dumbstruck, "but- you- I never- ok, so you're ok?"

"Yeah; can I go to Jamie's school when we go home?"

"Of course!"

He smiled, "great! See you in a minute!"

And with that he ran off towards the playground. Brooke sat back against the bench and turned to look at Lucas. "Wow," she muttered, "we did it."

He squeezed her hand, "you ok?"

"Yeah- I really am," she smiled at him and then cupped his face, "and you're officially a dad baby."

"Oh man," he laughed aloud and his breath clouded in the cold air, "oh man we're parents!"

"I know."

"And we're grown ups."

"I know! It doesn't feel real."

"He _knew_!"

"I can't believe he didn't say anything."

"I guess he knew we'd tell him in time."

"Very wise of him."

"Like his mom then."

"And yet, so like his dad," she said smiling widely.

"Hey!" Jayden called out from the top of the slide just as Lucas was bending in to kiss Brooke and they both looked up, "watch me!"

"Alright little man, go for it!"

"We're watching!"

Lucas slipped an arm over Brooke's shoulder and she leant closer into the warmth of his body, sliding an arm across him, "we're in it now honey," she muttered.

He chuckled, "wouldn't want to be anywhere else Brooke Davis."

_Have I told you how much I love you today?_

_Not really._

_Well I do._

**So on the whole, very fluffy chapter lol. I know Jayden seemed very ok with it but I really couldn't imagine him being angry about this. I tried to make it realistic and I hope I did ok but I have NO experience when it comes to telling six year olds about their parentage lol so I hope it was acceptable! New chapter up v soon I promise!**


	26. Tests On My Heart

**A/N: I am aware that in other stories and even in this one i sometimes write characters differently, but i don't do it vindictively, i do it because it's the way i'd like to set the story out. with that said, here's my new chapter, it's going to be a little bit angsty for a while, but not forever of course! thanks for the reviews and support everyone- they're always wonderful!**

_Imagine a future moment in your life where all your dreams come true, you know?_

_It's the greatest moment in your life and you get to experience it with one person, who's standing next to you? Who's it gonna be?_

_Brooke._

Brooke rested her head against the hospital chair and closed her eyes, she felt _exhausted_. She felt wonderful and smiley and happy as well but the overwhelming feeling right now was exhaustion. Walking up the stairs was now a total effort- seriously, why had she bought a house with stairs?! And why was the maternity level of Tree Hill Hospital on the third floor? Stupid elevators that were out of order; this was a hospital, shouldn't there be elevators that work in a hospital?! The sounds of the nearest nurse desk surrounded her and she leant on Luke's shoulder, tracing the tattoo he had on his wrist slowly, over and over. She let out a sigh of contentment and shifted slightly to glance around them. Several people were reading old copies of US Weekly and another couple just older than Lucas and herself were sitting laughing quietly together. She smiled, today was a good day. She nestled into Luke's chest and yawned slightly.

"So you think you ate enough this morning?"

She looked up and chuckled, "you asked me this already honey, I ate plenty."

"And you took all the vitamins I left out?"

"Lucas, you watched me take them!"

"But you were being so sick last week and I don't want you to be-"

"It's part of being pregnant sweetie!"

"I feel responsible," he said pouting.

She smirked, "you didn't do it alone."

His blue eyes lit up and he met her hazel ones in amusement, "well, that's true."

He traced the lines on her hand with his finger and then leant up to kiss her. She caught his face in her hands and kissed him back softly before pulling away and fanning her face, "wow, is it hot in here?"

"Well," he began with a smug look on his face.

"No," she said rolling her eyes, "no offence baby but I mean like a million degrees; I'm boiling."

"Ok, well what can I do?"

She clutched her stomach, breathing in and out loudly to cool off and he watched her concerned. "I knew I should have brought a fan."

Brooke laughed aloud, "what?! Since when would you have even known to bring a fan?"

He shrugged, "I googled what you might need."

"You are far too organised for your own good Mr Scott."

"I like to be prepared," he said firmly, pouting at her.

She smiled and touched his face, "I know you do baby, but I have done this before."

"Oh babe, don't remind me," he said guiltily.

"Sorry! That's not what I meant though honey. What I meant was that you don't have to worry about every little thing- I know what feels normal and what feels bad." She felt herself cool down and reached out to fold her hands in his, "I'll let you know what's really bad ok?"

He looked apologetic for a second and then squeezed her hand, "sorry babe- I just wanna make sure you're ok."

"I know Luke," she touched his face smiling, "but I'm fine! Look, see?" She moved his hand to her stomach, "baby and me are right here and happy."

He smiled widely, "I can't believe our kid is really growing in there."

She leant her forehead in to touch his, "better start believing it sometime soon broody."

"Miss Davis?" They both looked up, Lucas' arm wound round his girlfriend and the nurse smiled down at them, "we're ready for you now."

"Great," Brooke gathered her bag and Vanity Fair up and stood slowly, Lucas slid a hand around her waist and she leant into him contentedly.

They had been home in Tree Hill for two weeks and Brooke was in the hospital for her ten week scan. It was the middle of November and Lucas had wrapped her in about a million scarves and coats before letting her leave the house. She had felt like a walking snowman but had appreciated the gesture. Just having him with her every step of the way was a wonderful feeling.

"In here please," the nurse smiled warmly at them and Lucas helped Brooke up onto the chair. "Doctor Lewis will be here in a moment."

"Thank you."

"Is there anything else you need?"

"No, no, just a healthy baby," Brooke said nervously. Lucas squeezed her hand tightly as he sat down next to her.

The nurse nodded, "I'm sure everything will be fine Miss Davis." She closed the door gently.

"Thanks, I hope so," she added quietly.

"Worrying isn't healthy pretty girl," Lucas said lightly. She looked at him crossly for a second, about to retort that he was measuring her food intake and he really couldn't pester her about worrying- and then relented, he was right. She gazed around the room, staring at the plastic body parts and the baby photographs on the far wall. All the mom's to be and new moms smiled widely at the camera- and she realised how huge they all were.

Luke," she said suddenly, "you realise I'm not going to be pretty for very much longer right?"

He chuckled, "what?"

"Well I'm just warning you in advance; I'm going to get all big and red and hot all the time and I'm going to be cross and sweaty and oh god my feet are gonna swell up again and I'm not going to be able to fit in any of my favourite dresses and oh god what if-"

"Brooke!" He put a hand to her mouth, "stop it! You would look beautiful if you weighed twenty stone and I will handle the crossness and anything else you _literally_ throw at me ok?"

She pulled a face, "really?"

"I promise!"

"You can't take that back now, you've said it and I'll hold you to it."

"I expect you to," he said softly, kissing her hand.

"Good morning Miss Davis," Doctor Lewis bustled into the room reading the chart as she did so and then looked up and smiled brightly. She held out a hand, "and you are?"

"Oh uh, Lucas Scott," Lucas stood up to shake her hand and she smiled again before sitting down next to Brooke.

"How are you feeling today? Any nausea Miss Davis?"

"A little," Brooke reluctantly admitted and Lucas shot her an accusing look.

"You said you were fine!"

"Lucas relax! And please call me Brooke, Doctor Lewis."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me you felt sick," Lucas muttered.

"Let it go Luke!"

"Alright you two," Dr Lewis interrupted in amusement; they both looked at each other in surprise and then chided fell silent. "Brooke, I'm going to put a little gel on your stomach- it might feel cool."

Brooke felt goose bumps and suddenly a whole lot of nerves and reached for Lucas' hand again. "Will we know if everything is ok today?"

"As far as possible yes, today we will have some answers for you. Alright, try and relax Brooke."

She bit her lip and Lucas sat up close to her and nervously kissed her shoulder. His breath caught in his throat suddenly when a beating sound filled the room. "Oh my god is that it? Is that our baby's heartbeat?"

"Uh huh- and if you look here at the monitor," Dr Lewis gestured, "you can see the head here and two arms, legs over here..."

"Oh my god," Brooke murmured softly.

"I know," Lucas whispered, "when will we know if it's a boy or a girl?"

Dr Lewis peered intently at the screen for a second and Brooke held her breath until she turned round and smiled, "you can relax Brooke, everything looks fine. I can't give you a precise answer for the sex now, but at your 20 week scan I can give you a specific answer if you want to know." She wiped the gel away and Brooke sat up.

"Will we want to know?" Brooke asked Lucas, smiling widely.

"I don't know," his eyes danced, "but we found out everything else the surprise way and that was perfect; we could leave it and be really truly surprised."

She pouted, "but if we knew it was a girl we could buy a room full of pink things!"

"And if it's a boy we could get a really cool crib with a basketball hoop attached!" Lucas' face lit up and he began dreaming aloud, "and tiny basketball shorts and a jersey!"

"What if he wants to play golf instead?" She asked innocently, "or hockey?"

Lucas raised his eyebrows, "please, he's a Scott, he'll play basketball."

"Easy there, that ambitious tone has got many a Scott in trouble before," she said teasingly.

He scowled and then unable to stay mad he chuckled and reached across to touch her stomach, "whether it's a boy or a girl, they'll be perfect."

"So no pressure then?"

He shot her a look, "you know what I mean."

Doctor Lewis wrote something on the chart and then frowned, "Miss Davis, it says here in your history that your son was tested for HCM last month?"

Lucas' head jerked up from staring at her stomach, "what?"

"He did but he was cleared," Brooke said quickly, squeezing his hand to reassure him.

"Are you sure? He was ok?" He searched her face in concern.

"Yeah the doctor at the time was wonderful; he ran every test under the sun." She turned to look at Doctor Lewis, worry spreading across her pretty face, "but oh god, could our baby be affected too?"

Doctor Lewis frowned, "was Jayden tested for a particular reason? I see that he stayed in hospital for several days. Does it run in your family? It doesn't mention anything under you..."

"Yes-" Brooke swallowed, "I-" she bit her lip and glanced at Lucas.

"He could have got it from me," Lucas said in a strangled voice, "I have HCM."

"I see." She folded her chart slowly and then smiled quickly, "there is no need to panic just yet. We can do all the necessary procedures and there is no reason why your son or daughter shouldn't be perfectly healthy."

"Oh god Luke," Brooke looked at him desperately, wishing he could fix this, do _something_.

"Is this a serious concern?"

"Please try not to get ahead of yourselves; even if you baby is born with HCM you are living, breathing proof of exactly how little it effects every day life."

Brooke was silent, staring at her hands as she touched her stomach gently. Lucas turned to look out of the window, attempting to absorb everything he was hearing. Doctor Lewis dropped her gloves in the bin and came to sit back down in front of them. "Do you have any questions?"

"When will we be able to know if our baby's in the clear?" Lucas' voice was hoarse and he ran a hand through his hair slowly.

"I'll be able to give you a call sometime this week," she said softly.

He reached for Brooke's hand again and to his surprise she pulled her own away. "It's fifty- fifty right?" She asked quietly.

"That depends if you believe in odds Brooke," the doctor said softly, "personally I don't."

Brooke exhaled hard, blowing her fringe out of her eyes and trying to compose herself.

Doctor Lewis stood up and moved towards the door, "you can't start drawing conclusions yet though- i'll run the tests as quickly as I can. I'll be back in a minute with some more information."

Brooke nodded mutely, tears pricking behind her eyes and she couldn't look up as her doctor left. Finally they were alone in the room and Brooke let out her breath slowly, "oh god," she whispered.

Lucas edged his chair closer to the chair and rested his elbows on the armrest, "you wanna tell me where your head's at?"

She clutched her face briefly and then shook herself, "where's my skirt?"

He reached for it wordlessly and handed it to her; she pulled it on and then stood, "I have to meet Haley to check the dresses for Saturday."

"Brooke-"

"Please Lucas, I need to get my head round this and- and I can't talk about it right now."

He stood up swiftly and pushed the chair away, "you can't leave like this Brooke, we have to deal with it."

"Why? You know how to deal with it! You've had years of dealing with it! And I- I've had about ten seconds to absorb the fact that our baby could suffer from a potentially serious heart condition!"

His face turned ashen as he stared at her, "you're blaming me?"

"No! God, no, stop it! This is not about you Luke, this is about," she paused from pacing the room and ran a hand through her hair, tugging at a knot, "this is about the fact that if it's a boy- there's no way I'll ever let him set foot on a basketball court! And- and if it's a girl, she'll never take dance classes because I'll be terrified that while I'm waiting for her outside everyone else will be crowding round her because she's collapsed on the floor and I'm not there! Our child will never be able to lead a normal life Lucas and- and, god!" She dissolved into tears and Lucas suddenly strode towards her and caught her up in his arms. Brooke shook her head and pushed against him, "no don't!" She pulled away, "I can't breathe!" She stepped backwards, feeling faint, "Lucas, I can't-" she made to move away completely but he ignored her suddenly and pulled her back towards him.

"Brooke stop it!"

"Luke!" She attempted to wrestle out of his arms but he held firm and finally she stopped lashing out and rested against his chest heavily, tears streaming down her face.

"Everything was ok," she gasped into his tee shirt, "we were ok... We were safe."

"Shhh, it's ok," he stroked her dark hair gently, muttering soothing words, "it's ok, just breathe. We'll get through this Brooke, we always do."

She sighed and tightened her hands round his back, "I just want everything to be ok Luke."

"And it will be, I promise."

They stood for a long time, clinging on to each other, drawing strength from one another. Finally Brooke pulled away, "we have to get back. You have to finish your speech-"

"We don't have to go tonight Brooke."

"No we should, it's your mom Luke. She's getting married and that's amazing- we should be there with her to celebrate."

"You don't have to- she'd understand."

"No come on Luke- how often do really wonderful things happen? This is important- and I love your mom, I don't want to miss this. Besides, it's only the rehearsal dinner- I can go home early if things-" she swallowed, "you know just in case I get upset or something," she finished quickly.

Lucas swallowed, this wasn't fair. Doctor Lewis re-entered the room and smiled at them both, "alright, Brooke I want you to continue on your supplements, you need to remember to stay hydrated, at least eight hours sleep a night-"

"I know what to do," Brooke said suddenly. She didn't want to hear all the instructions right now, she wanted to get out of the room and out of the hospital as quickly as possible.

Doctor Lewis nodded and smiled quickly, "then I'll be in touch and see you in four weeks."

Brooke gave her a brief smile and Lucas wrapped an arm round her waist as they headed out of the door, "try not to worry Brooke- it's not good for you or the baby," Doctor Lewis called after them. Brooke turned and met her eyes and gave her the ghost of a smile, how ironic.

They stepped into the newly working elevator and Brooke stared up at the numbers silently as they travelled downwards. Lucas glanced at her and then up to where she was looking, wondering how best to get her to talk to him. When Brooke turned to say something she saw his own eyes set as he gazed at the top of the doors and she changed her mind, looking at her feet instead. She wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault- that there was no way they could have changed this- but she couldn't form the words, even as they came to her. As the doors opened she reached out her fingers and caught his hand, wordlessly he laced his fingers through hers and they walked through the busy lobby together. It was raining as they stepped outside and she felt strangely comforted by it, she loved the rain. Lucas pulled her closer and they walked in step to where his car was parked. He opened the door for her and as he did so he bent down and kissed her softly, she kissed him back and then slipped down into the car, shaking out her wet hair.

He reversed carefully and narrowed his eyes in concentration as he pulled onto the main road. Brooke watched the rain sliding down the window and then turned to face him in the car, "I like Ava for a girl," she said quietly, "or Juliet."

Lucas found her hand and held it tightly, "I like Juliet."

"Or Ophelia," she added.

"Little bit tragic don't you think? What about Olivia?"

She rolled it around in her head and then nodded, "I like it."

"Sylvia?"

"You said Ophelia was too tragic and you're suggesting Sylvia?"

He shrugged, the hint of a smile on his face as he indicated to change lanes, "I used to read you her poetry."

"I know you did honey," she said softly, "it was very romantic if you ignored all the ones about how depressed she was."

"It's not depressing, it's pensive and deep and-"

"Depressing!"

He pouted, "fine. No Sylvia."

She smiled, "what about Violet? Viola?"

He raised his eyebrows, "is the letter V particularly 'in' this year?" He teased.

"No, I just like it is all," she said crossly.

"I like Violet," he said in an attempt to placate her, "or Rosalind or Helena."

"Now you're just naming Shakespeare characters!"

"You started it!"

"Ok, ok," she curled her legs up under her and thought for a second, "you get three names and then when the day comes- we'll," she hesitated and brushed at her face quickly, "we'll decide together," she finished quietly.

He reached over and took her hand, "ok," he thought for a moment, "I like Olivia, Rose and... Jennifer."

"Good names," she said nodding seriously, "what if it's a boy?"

"William, Christian and Oliver. What about you?"

"If it's a boy, Caleb or Sebastian."

"Oh man, you're gonna try and make the kid cool before he's even had a chance to decide aren't you?"

She raised her eyebrows, "please, he's gonna be my kid baby- there'll be no decision in it- it will just _happen_."

He chuckled and pulled into the drive, slowly rolling the car to a stop and twisting to face her, "and if it's a girl?"

Brooke considered for a second and then smiled, "Ava, Juliet or Virginia."

"I like those," he said smiling at her, "they're very beautiful names."

"Yeah," she said faintly, before staring at her hands for a moment, "Luke-"

"Don't Brooke- just try not to think about it ok? He or she is going to be happy and loved no matter what remember?"

She nodded, biting her lip, wishing she knew now and that she didn't have to wait god knows how long to find out if her baby was ok.

"Hey," he leant across the gap in the seats and touched her face, "we're gonna be ok here pretty girl, just have a little faith."

Brooke clutched his hand and then kissed his palm, "you're right. Come on then broody- you've got a speech to write."

They clambered out of the car and she wrapped her scarf tightly round her, praying that somehow they'd figure it out, just like Luke had said they would. She realised Lucas was already at the front door and was standing looking back at her on the drive, "come on babe- you have to eat something!"

Despite herself she chuckled and rolled her eyes; at least this time, no matter what, she and Lucas would face it together- and she'd be eating a whole lot in the mean time.

_Most of our life is a series of images. They pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens. And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever. _

**Please don't hate me for the angst- I just imagine Sophia doing it and then get carried away- I promise things will be resolved in the right way for BL.**


	27. Pretty Girl Dancing

**My bad about forgetting to disclaim; I don't own anything. **

**Mosie: You're right about the info concerning Jayden's heart condition but I figured that maybe there might be a second file with Brooke's about any offspring she had- but thanks for the constructive comments- it's always so nice to get you guys' sincere opinions!**

_The part about taking chances and believing in the possibility even when life is giving you every reason not to believe..._

Brooke pulled the dark blue satin over her head and straightened it out over her stomach. This was _so_ the last time she'd be able to wear this dress for a really long time. Slowly she twisted her hair up and pulled several tendrils down to curl round her face. She stared at herself in the mirror and breathed in and out deeply, stroking her stomach. Outside it was still raining heavily and she could hear thunder in the distance.

"Brooke!" Lucas called up the stairs, glancing at his watch, "you nearly ready to go?"

She sat down on the bed heavily, glancing round the room for her shoes and heard Lucas' footsteps on the stairs. He appeared at the door, "babe?"

"I'll just be a minute," she said quietly.

He sighed softly and came to sit beside her on the bed, taking her hand, "we don't have to go- we can stay in..."

"No," she squeezed his hand and then stood up to grab one of her heels, "I'm ok honey." She pulled on her second shoe and straightened up, "you got your speech baby?"

He tapped his jacket pocket, "yup," he pulled a face, "I'm so nervous though; I don't wanna screw this up for my mom."

She smiled at him and moved towards him, straightening his tie, "you'll do great Luke; amazing speeches are your thing."

"Thanks," he smirked, "but they're just the ones where I say I love you Brooke Davis; I can't really say that to my mom."

"You could!" She took his hand, "speaking of, any thoughts on how we want to tell your mom about, you know, the baby?"

Lucas whistled, "I don't know- you wanna tell her tonight?"

"At her rehearsal dinner?!" Brooke hesitated, "she might think we're stealing her thunder."

He laughed, "ok then, tomorrow?"

Brooke swallowed; she wasn't sure she was ready for the world to know. "Maybe we could wait?"

Lucas glanced at her sharply, "wait?" He messed with her hands, "well how long you thinking- next week?"

"I don't know... A month or two?"

"Babe you're gonna start showing before that!"

She scowled, "I can wear a corset!"

"No way," he said firmly, "that can't be good for the baby- or for you."

"I-" she pouted, "well, still! Luke come on; let's just keep this to ourselves for a while please? I mean we didn't get to do any of this the first time round so we can do it together this time," her eyes pleaded with him. She didn't want people to know before she was _sure_, sure the baby was ok.

He rolled his own eyes, "_fine_!"

"Thank you baby," she kissed his cheek and they headed down the stairs to where Jayden and Jamie were wrestling at the bottom.

"Jayden!" Brooke called out, "stop that! You're wearing Armani!"

He looked up and scowled, "I don't like it mom; it itches."

Lucas shifted in his own suit, "yeah I agree with Jay, these are not comfy." Jay reached up and they high fived and then folded their arms turning to look at her.

Brooke rolled her eyes, "you two have no idea what discomfort is; try wearing six inch heels for the day."

"Why do you buy them if they're not comfortable?" Lucas asked incredulously as he opened the front door for them all. Jayden ran out, shouting to Jamie.

"Because they're pretty," she said simply, "what other reason would I need?"

He chuckled, "no reason at all," he said kissing her softly.

"Gross," Jamie muttered as he ran past them after Jayden and out towards the car.

"Hey!" Lucas called after him, "don't be cheeky James Luca Scott! Your mom gave me full grounding powers tonight."

"Yeah and if you don't listen to him you'll have _me_ to deal with," Brooke said teasingly.

Jamie pouted, "sorry Aunt Brooke."

She winked at him, "that's ok honey- now go on and get in the car, but make sure you behave yourself!"

"Nice," Lucas muttered, "total power to the god parents," they bumped fists laughing at themselves.

"So Haley's meeting us there?" Brooke opened up an umbrella as Lucas locked the front door to the house.

"Yeah," he called out over the rain, "she was dropping Grace off at the babysitters when I spoke to her twenty minutes ago."

They slammed the car doors shut and Brooke breathed out, "wow that rain is not good for my hair or my shoes."

She twisted to examine the boys, "you both got your seatbelts on?"

They were both staring intently at Jayden's newest basketball game for his play station 2 and murmured incomprehensible replies.

Brooke rolled her eyes and then turned back to face Lucas, "we're all set driver."

"Then let's get going!" He flicked the headlights on and they rolled down the drive. There was a flash of lightning in the distance and Brooke flinched in surprise. She was jumpy tonight, on edge, and she didn't want to be. Wordlessly Lucas took her hand and kissed it, "storm's moving away," he commented lightly.

She sank down in her seat and attempted to look comfortable so as not to concern Jayden, "yeah," her voice was faint, "good."

The radio was playing a song she vaguely recognised and she focused on the lyrics;

_Who's to say, we won't stay together?_

_Who's to say, we aren't getting stronger?_

_Who's to say, I can't live, without you?_

_Who are they, anyway?_

She felt better and squeezed Lucas' hand smiling at him as he watched the road, his eyes narrowed in concentration. Man she was a bundle of nerves tonight and it wasn't even her wedding!

* * *

"My two favourite boys!"

"Grandma Karen!"

Karen looked stunning in a gold satin dress and she bent down to hug her grandson and Jamie, "you both look so handsome!"

Lily came running over and jumped into Lucas' arms, "Luke!"

"Hey Lily! How you doing?" He twirled her round and then set her down and crouched beside her, "you look very beautiful in this dress, very grown up!"

"Thank you!" She beamed and then looked up at Brooke, "wow I like your shoes Brooke!"

Brooke smiled widely, smirking at Lucas, "why _thank_ you Lily."

"Lily come on," Jayden shouted, "there's cake!"

Lucas ruffled his sister's hair and then straightened up to hug his mother, "hi ma."

"Hey my boy, you look very handsome, Brooke sweetheart, you look gorgeous as usual," she embraced the younger woman warmly and then pulled away frowning slightly, "you look different." She raised an eyebrow, "what's different?"

"Oh i've just um, put my hair up."

"No, that's not it," Karen narrowed her eyes, "wat's going on?"

Brooke glanced at Lucas, "you wanna take this one honey?"

He cleared his throat and scratched his neck smiling, "uh mom-"

"You're pregnant?" Karen said suddenly.

"Uh," Brooke looked at her in surprise and then at Lucas who blinked, "is it that obvious?!"

"Yes!" Karen laughed and then hugged her again, "oh my goodness what a wonderful wedding present!"

"Well," Brooke touched her hair and dimpled at her, "I guess that's how we tell you! We were a little bit worried abut stealing your thunder."

"Are you kidding? This is wonderful news," Karen kissed her son's cheek, "congratulations. Besides this day is all about my family, not me!"

"Thanks Ma, you look beautiful by the way."

She touched his cheek, "oh you charmer you." She linked her arm through Lucas' and took one of Brooke's hands. "Now a couple of things- oh Deb hello!" She smiled at them both, "I'll be right back guys, help yourself to food, we should be getting started soon enough- Andy's running a little late!"

"Isn't it supposed to be the bride that's late?"

Brooke sniggered, "you're so traditional sweetie."

"What? No! I mean, I'm not- I just think it's nice to have some traditions."

"Of course it is," she said comfortingly, "you want a drink?"

"Yeah I'll be back in a min- I just wanna go say hey to Andy."

"Really, Andy's here? I should say hi," she said quickly, touching her hair and fluffing her cheeks.

Lucas pulled a face, "ha ha."

"No honey I'm serious- after Cam Gigandet and Cooper he's totally on my five minutes in an elevator list."

"Where am I on the list?!"

"You don't get to be on the list baby; we're actually sleeping together."

"Oh," he looked slightly mollified, "well- it wouldn't hurt you to say it once in a while."

She laughed, "it's not exactly the first thing I'd shout out in a restaurant."

"Maybe not in a restaurant, but I'm thinking of some things we could do in an elevator," he leant in towards her smiling.

"Ah ha, nice try mister, but we're in the middle of your mother's wedding rehearsal and I am about a million degrees too hot to be thinking the things you're thinking. I'm gonna go get a drink, you want one?"

"Sure can you get me a lemonade please pretty?"

"Uh huh, see you in a sec," she leant up to kiss him again and then clicked over to the bar.

"Can I get a pint of water and a lemonade please?"

The bar man placed a glass on the counter and she drifted off, a million miles away from the rehearsal, thinking about how she was going to get through the week waiting for that phone call. She had to be very careful not to push Luke away; she didn't want him to feel like she was shutting him out but she was so used to dealing with things by herself; it was all she knew. She smiled as she watched Jayden racing around with Lily and Jamie and some friend of Andy's four year old who was wearing a Ralph Lauren dress that Brooke absolutely had to have if they had a daughter. She slid her hand across her stomach, please be ok.

"Here you go ma'am."

She widened her eyes in horror, ma'am?! "I'm twenty three," she said crossly.

"Sorry," he replied disinterestedly, "I'm thirty four, do I win something?"

"Uh no, just don't do it again," she warned. She picked up her glass-

"Well, well, I can see New York certainly agreed with you Brooke Davis!"

She froze; her glass half way to her lips and turned in complete shock, her face was ashen and her eyes were wide.

_Lucas is the one for me._

_Actually, my name is Chris._

"Chris Keller approves," he winked and moved closer to her, sliding up the bar easily, "you got a date tonight?"

She found her voice as she wrinkled her nose in distaste, "you might have a date with the hospital if you get any closer Keller, what the hell are doing here?"

"Here with a friend," he said shrugging easily, "but _you_ and me are more than friends right Davis?"

"Mom!" Jayden saved her from having to speak and tugged at her arm, "can I get a five dollars for the games room please?"

Chris' jaw dropped and he loosened his collar suddenly, "Brooke-" his voice was hoarse, "Brooke-"

"One second," she said sweetly, bending down to hand her son the money, "here sweetie- but then that's it for an hour, you gotta take your time with your money!"

"Brooke-" Chris said again.

She held up a finger, straightening Jayden's tie, "hold on Chris. There you go baby."

"Thanks Mom," he said smiling up at her before kissing her cheek, "see you later."

He ran off in Jamie's direction and Brooke stood up, with slight difficulty and smiled at Chris, "you're going purple Keller."

He gestured in Jayden's direction, "who- who is that and," he tugged at his collar some more, "and how old is he?"

Brooke rolled her eyes, "you can stop choking on air Chris; Jayden is not your son."

"Are you sure?" He squeezed her arms tightly, "and I mean _sure_ Davis."

Someone cleared their throat behind them and Brooke, shaking her head at Chris turned and beamed, "Luke!"

Her boyfriend's face was stony as he stared at Chris and he slid an arm protectively around her waist

"Oh thank god," Chris said suddenly, clutching his chest, "you two have got the whole high school sweethearts reproducing early thing going on." He let out a breath loudly and chugged back his drink swiftly, "phew!" Then turned to raise his eyebrows at them, "didn't the Naley split teach you guys anything?"

"Shut up Chris," Brooke said, narrowing her eyes at him and wrapping her own arm round Luke's back.

"Yeah," Lucas glowered at him, "shut up Chris."

Chris smirked, "wow I'm really feeling the love from you two."

"There is no love," Lucas said firmly, "only distaste and dislike and wishing you were a long, long way away."

"Hey man, normally I live in Texas."

"That's not far enough," Lucas retorted. "So why-"

"Chris I'm sorry- Jamie wanted some money, did you get my drink?" Both Brooke and Lucas turned incredulously to look at Haley who was flushed and smiled at them both before blinking in confusion, "what?"

"You knew Keller was here and you didn't warn me to bring repellent spray?!"

"Ha ha," Chris muttered, glaring at Brooke.

Haley took the drink Chris offered her, "thanks and yeah- I invited Chris."

"Why?" Lucas blurted out.

"Alright enough," Chris said crossly, "I'm going to go and play Space Invaders with Jamie; at least he thinks I'm cool."

"He's five years old," Brooke said teasingly.

He glowered at her, "I liked you better when you were naked Davis."

Lucas moved towards him, "don't even go there Keller."

"Hey," Brooke caught his arm, "let's go see if your mom needs anything ok?" He seemed almost tempted to ignore her and she tugged his hand, "Luke!"

He glanced at her and then rolled his eyes, "fine! But I still don't like you Keller."

Chris grinned, "boo hoo broody boy doesn't like me." Haley hit him on the arm and he held up his hands, "what? I'm kidding!"

Brooke slipped her hand into Lucas', "come on pretty boy, let's go talk to your mom and Andy."

"Oh good, we can talk to someone else you think is hot," he grumbled.

"Luke!"

* * *

The practice ceremony was easy, everyone was relaxed and laughing, generally having a good time and by the time they sat down to dinner Lucas and Brooke had completely forgotten Keller's existence. "You gonna dance with me then Davis?" He held out a hand to her smirking and she rolled her eyes.

"I don't think so."

"What, you're afraid you won't be able to resist me on the dance floor?"

"Not really, I'm pregnant."

He pulled his hand back, "oh... Jeez man, there goes my chances at convincing you to sleep with me tonight."

"You wouldn't have had a shot either way," she said lightly, running a finger around the rim of her glass.

"Oh come on, we were pretty good together back in the day!"

She scoffed, "we weren't anything Chris; we were a one night stand gone wrong."

"Mean, really mean Brooke Davis." His blue eyes met hers as he sat down at the table, "I heard you've been in New York for a couple of years."

"Yeah, I was around."

"And your kid?" He let the word hang and there was a silence between them as Brooke stared at her hands.

"Jayden," she said finally, "look Chris-"

"Is he really Luke's?"

"Yes," she said firmly, "Chris you and I slept together once, months before I realised I was pregnant- there's no way he's your son."

"Still," his eyes were sad, "I'm sorry you had to do it alone."

She suddenly smiled radiantly, "you know something? I'm not."

Chris raised an eyebrow, "what- is that just a jab at my potential parenting skills?"

"No!" She laughed, "look I was alone but I learnt more about who I was and what I wanted and what I could do and handle than most people learn in twenty years. I know myself Chris. And I have been able to raise my son in the best way possible- he knows how much I care about him and that is _all_ that matters."

He nodded slowly, "you've changed Brooke Davis," he said finally.

"I have?"

"Yeah," he smiled faintly, "the Brooke I knew hardly had any idea of how to look after herself let alone raise a kid and create a company."

She blinked, "I was that bad?"

"No, you just weren't so... together," he grinned at her widely, "you did good growing up Miss Davis."

She was taken aback by his words and for a second she fiddled with her glass, searching for words.

Chris stood up suddenly, "uh I gotta go- the Scott that hates me more is heading this way and I need to look this pretty tomorrow."

Brooke chuckled, "it's probably a wise move, hey Chris-" she caught his hand and he looked down at her in surprise and she smiled at him quickly, "thanks."

"For what?"

"For saying that and," she shrugged, "just for being Chris Keller on occasion."

He smirked, "sugar, Chris Keller doesn't need thanks for being this awesome." He winked at her and turned right into a stony face Lucas, "ahh good, my favourite basketball player," he patted Luke on the shoulder, "she's all yours my friend, although what are you thoughts on sharing at the holidays?" Lucas stared at him grimly and Chris shrugged, "worth a shot."

Behind him Brooke rolled her eyes and pulled an apologetic face as Lucas sat down, "I hate that guy," he muttered.

She rubbed his shoulder, "aw honey you know he only does it to make you cross, it doesn't mean anything."

"Do you know Haley's got him staying for a few days?!"

"We don't have to see him! Besides, I think he's good at listening, you know, for Hales."

Lucas was silent for a second and then scowled, "my brother is such a dumbass."

"Oh god let's not think about that right now," she said softly, "let's dance."

"What? There isn't a band playing, it's the rehearsal!"

"So rehearse dancing with me," she said softly, holding out her hand, "come on, do I have to ask you twice?"

He gazed into her lovely eyes and then sighed laughing, "come on then, I'll put my ipod on, hold on."

_Dance with me._

They moved towards the mini dance floor and he pulled her close as the music started, sliding a hand round her waist like he'd been doing it their whole life.

"I picked an old favourite," he said into her ear. She smiled, leaning into his chest, one of her hands laced in his and the other round his neck. He tightened his grip round her waist and they whirled around the floor together contentedly.

_There's a pretty girl staring back at me,_

_And you know that I love to believe_

_That that pretty girl staring back at me,_

_Was all mine,_

_She's all mine._

_I take her, and make her, so happy,_

_So don't take her, don't make her, happy to be without me._

Haley took Chris' hand laughing as he dragged her towards the floor and Brooke noted that her friend looked happier than she had done in weeks. To her left Jayden was sitting eating a meringue happily and she momentarily forgot all her worries as she thought that right now, everyone she loved was ok.

She sighed contentedly and leant her head on Luke's shoulder and he smield proudly, he couldn't believe that finally he was with the girl he was meant to be with. "You're gonna dance with me like this forever right pretty girl?"

She lifted her chin to look up at him and realised he was staring at her intently, "well- I'm kind of thinking with a baby in the works we'll be sticking together for a while honey."

"No," he looked up at the ceiling for a second, "I mean yes of course but- oh man I'm doing this wrong," he let her spin under his arm and then pulled her back towards him, "I'm asking you to marry me, you know dance with me forever, raise our kids together, grow old with me," he gazed into her eyes levelly, "I love you Brooke Davis and I want to be with you forever." The song faded out and a new one began as they stopped dancing, Lucas smiled at her shyly, "what do you think?"

Brooke felt momentarily stunned and slowly she lowered her arms, staring back into Lucas' eyes. He shoved his hands into his pockets feeling more nervous than he had ever felt before in his life. Her heart was racing and she bit her lip finally realising that this was it. It was Brooke Davis and Lucas Scott and it was going to be like this forever. She would never be alone again, never be entirely in control of her heart again, never be able to run...

And she was ok with it.

"I think it's about time you asked," she said smiling up at him.

The corners of his mouth flickered and he took a step towards her, "really?"

"Yes, of course I'll marry you," she said in a quiet voice, "of course!"

Smiling broadly he suddenly caught her up in his arms, kissing her passionately and lifting her up so that her toes drifted off the floor and she bent her knees up, wrapping her arms tightly round his neck. It wasn't showy or flashy and he hadn't made it into a big deal. Instead it been just them, dancing to a song that was part of their history and he had proposed in the perfect way.

_And because we're both gonna get pneumonia, but if you need to hear why I love you, I can go on all night._

**That's my favourite brucas line so it had to be at the end of that moment! let me know what you thought of the chapter guys! oh and Keller's not here to make trouble for brucas- i just can't seem to write a fic without including him, lol.**


	28. They're You and Me in Ten Years

**A/N: Thank you again for all the support guys- especially those of you who let me know how much you're enjoying the story! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing... but I have recently discovered the awesomeness of Supernatural and damn do I wish I owned Jensen Ackles!**

She was late. She ran from the bedroom into the en suite, tripping over one of Luke's converse as she did so. Crap! She rinsed her face and decided to forgo make up- hell Lucas had seen her look worse- and she needed to have been at the hotel ten minutes ago. Oh _god_ she was late to her future mother in law's wedding. Her future mother in law was going to hate her. Oh wow, her future mother in law; she felt her heart flutter just thinking about it. They were getting married. _Married_. Would she be Mrs Brooke Davis Scott or Mrs Brooke Scott or stay as Brooke Davis? She was momentarily distracted from worrying about being late by thinking about what she'd wear and how damn pretty Lucas would look in a Hugo Boss morning suit... She pulled on a jumper and then slipped on a pair of trainers. Oh crap the time. She couldn't believe she had let Lucas persuade her to stay in bed after seven but god he had such persuasive eyes... At six forty five she had sat up and begun to brush her hair when Lucas had wrapped an arm around her waist and smiled sleepily up at her. "What do you want?" She'd asked teasingly, kinking an eyebrow at him. As if she hadn't known...

_Game on Brooke Davis._

She twisted her hair quickly to the side and grabbed the bridesmaids dresses from the back of her study door. She had arranged to meet Haley and Deb in the hotel dressing rooms in, oh crap, ten minutes and Lucas had taken Jayden early to go and be with Andy whilst he got ready. He had looked so handsome in his suit and she had had to take a picture of him standing with his son; they'd looked almost identical with the exception of Luke's height.

She hurried down the stairs as her cell began to ring. "One second," she called out at it, "wait a minute!" She dropped one of the dresses and cursed, "dammit." Her phone stopped buzzing and she picked up the dress before standing and feeling light headed. Oh baby was not happy about all the running around. In the kitchen she found her bag and her scarf, whirling it round her neck as she made her way down the hall. "Yeah I wish we could have stayed in bed too baby," she said wistfully to her stomach. Grabbing her keys she swung back the front door triumphantly, they were out- and her face scrunched up in distaste as her eyes fell on the figure on the door step.

"What the hell do you want?"

"I just want to talk-"

"I don't have anything to say to you Nathan." She moved around the car quickly, praying that none of the dresses would fall in the floor and he would stay longer to help her pick them up. "Go away."

Her phone began to ring again and she sighed inwardly, someone up there really had it in for her.

"No Brooke-" he caught the door as she opened it into his face and looked at her desperately over the top of it, "look I made a huge mistake- I know I screwed up."

"Nathan stop!" She slammed the door and face him angrily, "yes you made a huge mistake and if you're only just realising that then you're an even bigger jackass than I previously thought but you do not get to come to my home and blurt out things like this when you choose to! You don't get to do things by your timeline anymore!"

"But I need to apologise-"

"Well what you need and what your family needs are two very different things. A month ago your needs included a skanky ex best friend of mine, speaking of the she devil how is Peyton?"

"I don't know," Nathan retorted, "she left town weeks ago."

Brooke was caught by surprise, "what?"

Nathan raised his hands, shrugging, "she and I- we didn't-"

"Peyton got what she wanted and then ran when she didn't want it anymore? God, trust her," she began to climb into the front seat feeling flustered and angry.

"No-"

"And you came crawling back?" She shook her head, "get out of here Nathan; I don't even wanna look at you."

"Brooke-"

"I said leave it alone! I don't want to talk to you at the moment and I don't owe you a sympathetic ear."

He stopped her from shutting the car door, "all those years I was there for you when Lucas wasn't. How is that you can forgive him but not me?"

Brooke widened her eyes angrily, "Lucas learnt from his mistakes Nathan- you clearly haven't!" She tugged the door from his hands and shut it firmly in his face. She had a wedding to get to and she didn't have time to cater to guilty, cheating liars right now.

"Brooke! Wait!"

Her car screamed out of the drive way and furiously she headed towards the hotel, god damn him what was he thinking?!

Her phone began ringing and she snapped it open breathless, "what?"

"Miss Davis?"

"Yes, yes?" She changed lanes and heard a car beep, "oh come one get over it I indicated!"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry, who is this?"

"This is Doctor Lewis."

She felt her heart stop and suddenly pulled over to the side of the road, "uh, yes?" Oh god oh god, she needed Lucas here to hold her hand. She wasn't ready, oh crap, she was going to faint. "You have... the results?" Her voice sounded strangled, "could we just wait-"

"Everything is fine Miss Davis. I'm sorry to have interrupted you but I thought you'd like to know right away."

"I-" She must have misheard her, she could have sworn the lack of oxygen was playing tricks on her brain. "I'm sorry- did you say everything is ok? The baby is-"

"Your baby is as healthy as can be and we're very sure he or she should stay that way."

"But that's not possible," she blurted out, "I mean Jayden was ok and maybe I got lucky the first time but this time-I mean it can't be possible our family is _that_ lucky! You don't know us!"

Doctor Lewis chuckled, "sometimes luck changes Brooke. Do you have any other questions for me?"

"No," she was staring out of the window in a daze, "thank you for calling at the weekend Doctor Lewis."

"You're welcome Brooke. Do try and take it easy from now on and I'll see you in just under four weeks."

"Yeah... uh, oh thank you," she managed to mutter quickly before dropping her hands into her lap heavily, still in complete disbelief. She looked down at her phone and checked the last number that called; it was Doctor Lewis' cell number, so it had _really_ happened. She exhaled slowly and felt a smile creep across her face. She glanced at the clock on the dashboard and swore suddenly, "oh crap!"

* * *

_It's more than being careful with the chemistry Lucas; it's about being careful with your heart._

Twenty minutes later she jumped out of the car and ran up the steps to the hotel, Lucas was standing at the top looking concerned. "Where've you been?!"

Without speaking she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. He almost fell backwards with surprise but straightened up and kissed her back for a minute. She pulled away and clutched his face, "you and me are the two damn luckiest people on the planet Lucas Scott."

He laughed and pushed her hair back, "well I know that crazy girl but what's with the sudden exclamation today?"

"Doctor Lewis called!"

"And?"

"And everything is ok!"

His face lit up, "seriously? We're ok?"

"Yes! God, somehow against the odds we are actually going to have two healthy children!"

"Wow, we really _are_ lucky," he kissed her again, "and you're feeling ok?"

"We're feeling fine," she said firmly.

"That's great, oh god that's such a relief!" His eyes were excited and he wrapped his arms round her waist for a moment, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"Yeah I know, I can't believe it." She relaxed for a moment, breathing in his familiar scent, feeling safe and calm in his arms.

"Oh god," he suddenly said, "I keep forgetting- we're pretty damn late."

"Oh I know I'm sorry!"

"We'll get the car parked valet," he took her hand and kissed it, "come on pretty girl, you need a hand with the dresses?"

"Yeah, look I really am sorry about being late... I got held up," her face darkened.

Lucas frowned as she opened the car door and took the dresses from her, "by something other than the phone call?"

She opened her mouth, about to tell him about her run in with Nathan when she looked up into his eyes and thought twice; she didn't want to ruin his day distracting him with crap to do with Nathan. This was his mom's day and she wanted to keep it that way. "Just trouble with the car," she said finally, smiling up at him brightly.

"Really?" He moved round to the bonnet, "I'll just-"

"Do it later honey," she said quickly, "or your mom will be walking down the aisle minus one escort and one bridesmaid."

He narrowed his eyes at her for a moment and then nodded, "ok." He didn't entirely believe her but he knew she'd tell him what was up eventually; so long as they were ok. "Let's go see my mom get married!"

* * *

Brooke slipped into the hotel dressing room and pulled an apologetic face as she saw Haley and Deb looking agitated in baggy trousers and jumpers. Both had already had their make- up and hair done and stood as she entered.

"Brooke are you ok?" Haley moved forward to hug her friend and then searched her face, "what happened?"

"Oh problem with my car," she said airily, ignoring the nagging feeling at the back of her head that reminded her she was lying to someone else she loved; but she didn't want to tell her today of all days that her estranged husband was now stalking Brooke's house. "Ok Deb this is yours and Hales..." she wrestled with the hangers for a second, "here's yours."

"Brooke I know I say it every time I see them but these are divine," Deb beamed as she pulled her dress out of the plastic wrapper.

"Thanks," Brooke dimpled at her.

"I agree," Haley added. Brooke winked at her and they all pulled on the dark gold dresses before Haley helped her tie the sash at the back of the dress before lifting her hair up for Brooke to help her tie hers. "Any news about the baby?" Haley whispered.

Brooke turned and smiled widely, "yeah- Hales things are all fine!"

"That's great girly, really great!"

"Yeah, it is!"

There was a pause and Haley frowned, "Brooke what is it?"

"Nothing honey- nothing that can't wait."

"Ok girls," Deb came towards them and twirled, "do I look too old for this dress?"

"You look beautiful Deb," Haley said firmly. Despite all of the reasons for them not to be friendly right now, Haley and Deb were closer than ever. Claiming that although she loved her son, sometimes he was an absolute fool, Deb had arrived soon after they'd got home from New York and announced that whatever Haley and her grandchildren needed; she would be there for them. Haley had been surprised and touched by the gesture. Deb had been a great help looking after Grace and Jamie and had been a wonderful port in the storm when things had gotten too much for Haley. Now Deb squeezed Haley's arm and smiled at them both, "shall we go and check on the bride?"

_I've always wondered where that strength came from. That dignity and grace that you have put on in the face of everything that's happened in your life because I really wanna be that kind of person._

_You already are Brooke Davis. You've come further than anyone I know._

There was a flurry of activity in Karen's room and it was clear if Brooke had been late, Karen was definitely later.

"Get my veil Lil please! Oh god where's my other shoe?!" She looked up, a panicky expression on her face, "Ladies! Hello! Have you seen my shoe?"

Brooke cast her eyes around the room and spotted a high heeled cream shoe hiding underneath the table, almost completely covered by a mass of blue tissue paper.

"Would this be it?"

"Ah Brooke thank god! Thank you!" Karen pulled it on quickly and then looked up at them sheepishly, "you know I didn't think I'd be this panicky but I am!"

Lily looked up at her with big eyes, "are you ok mom?"

"Oh I'm fine sweetie," she kissed the top of her daughter's head and smiled up at Brooke quickly, "the dresses look even better on Brooke, thank you."

"You're welcome Karen; it was the least I could do," she added softly.

Karen looked close to tears and reached for Brooke's hand, "god you girls; I'm so proud of you all." Haley smiled and moved to hug the bride, biting her lip to prevent her own tears welling up.

"No, no crying!" Deb called, "here, why don't you all smile for a picture instead?" She waved the photographer over. He had been sitting in the corner after having been ordered by a harassed Karen to stop taking pictures of her looking for her shoes. Now he jumped up and began arranging the women.

"Lil, come here so you don't crease your mom's dress," Haley lifted the little girl up and smoothed her hair.

Brooke leant towards Karen and smiled across at the camera, "yay!"

"Perfect!" Someone knocked on the door and Karen started, her happy smile gone, "oh god it's time! I'm not ready!"

* * *

Brooke smoothed her dress down and looked up in surprise as Lucas appeared at the church door, "what are you doing here?"

He beamed and leant forward to kiss her, "you look amazing."

"Mm, thank you, where's your mom?"

"She's still having photographs taken of her getting out of the car, for like the fifth time," he wrapped his arms round her waist, "so I thought I'd come say good luck."

"Good luck?"

"Yeah don't trip or anything, you know, the usual, it is _you_ after all."

"Luke shut up! And you just jinxed me!"

"Mmmm," he wasn't listening; instead he was kissing her neck, "you remember the last time we were in this church?"

She laughed and twisted to face him, "yes I do but I don't think your mom would want a coronary on her wedding day!"

"Ah, she'd understand," he leant back down to kiss her and she smiled up at him...

Haley opened the side door and scrunched up her nose, "ew you two- do I have to see that now?"

Lucas smirked, "can you turn round then?"

His best friend shoved his arm and then handed Brooke her flowers, "you ready?"

Brooke smiled widely, "yeah."

The front door of the church opened and Karen appeared laughing happily with Lily, "Ladies, sorry we're a little late!"

"You're supposed to be," Haley said firmly, "I was." She was quiet for a second and Brooke reached across and squeezed her friend's arm, winking at her sympathetically. Haley cleared her throat, "Ok so are we set?"

"Yup," Lucas patted his sister's back and motioned to her, "get going down that aisle Lil."

Brooke could hear the music swelling inside the church and turned to dimple at Karen and Lucas, "ok so good luck!" She kissed Karen's cheek quickly, "see you up there."

Lucas winked at her and she took a breath before walking up the aisle behind Haley.

_I guess at some point, maybe you should let go and give your heart what it deserves._

"Friends and family of Karen and Andy, we have come together today to witness the union between this woman and this man." Brooke sighed happily as she listened to the words the friend Andy had asked to run the ceremony was saying as they flowed through the church. "I know in this day and age a lot of people are pretty cynical about marriage and even about love but we are all here today as proof that there are people left who are willing to believe. We are all here to support Andy and Karen as they take this chance and give their hearts to one another. There is a saying that so much of what we know of love we learn at home." Brooke smiled faintly and glanced across at Lucas. He had been looking at her steadily and his eyes were warm as she met them. "We learn from those we grow up with, from those we meet and choose to let into our lives and from the person we are sometimes lucky enough to fall in love with and who loves us back. Karen and Andy have been through so much together and they can teach us about patience and generosity and compassion because they share it with one another every day. Now, Karen if you would like to repeat after me, I Karen Roe."

"I Karen Roe," Karen's voice was clear and Brooke had to blink rapidly to prevent herself from weeping openly. She shot a sneak glance at the audience and caught Millicent's eye- Millie was busy breathing heavily and attempting not to look emotional. Jamie and Jayden were sitting on the front pew on their best behaviour with Skillz and Grace in her pram beside them. Lily was swinging her flowers around smiling up at her mother and Andy. She suddenly caught sight of a familiar head of blonde curls at the back of the church and started in horror, what the hell?! She blinked and looked back over and the curls were gone; so now she was seeing things?

"I do," Andy said suddenly and she jerked back to looking up at the altar. Damn she'd missed the vows!? Curse that blonde hoebag! Now she was following her in her imagination?!

"Ladies and gentlemen it gives me great pleasure to present to you for the first time, Mr and Mrs Andy Hargrove! Andy you may now kiss the bride!"

Andy leant across and kissed Karen excitedly. The entire congregation stood up applauding and Brooke dropped her flowers in her enthusiasm to clap loudly. Karen and Andy looked into each other's eyes laughing and Brooke clutched her chest happily, god she was so happy! Lucas bent down to pick up her flowers and kissed her hand as they moved down the aisle behind the newly married couple.

* * *

"Wow that ceremony was beautiful," Brooke sat down heavily beside Haley and reached for the water jug in front of them, "you ok?"

Haley had been staring into space and looked at her in surprise now, "oh hey girly, you ok?"

"Yeah," Brooke frowned searching her face, "I asked you the same question Hales. Wait," she glanced around, narrowing her eyes, "Chris Keller's not going to sneak up on me and be lecherous while we're talking is he?"

Haley laughed, "no! No he's working today; look I'm sorry I didn't give you any warning about that."

Brooke waved a hand, "oh don't worry about it, it was actually kind of hot watching Lucas get all jealous and protective," she kinked an , "the after effects were pretty damn good."

Haley scrunched her nose up, "I don't need to know the details."

"No no! I didn't mean that! Although..."

"Enough!"

"I'm sorry! But Hales, actually there's something I wanna tell you-"

There was a ringing sound of glasses and Brooke glanced up from talking with Haley to see Lucas standing up and holding his glass. He turned to look over at her and she smiled at him warmly, "if I could just have your attention for a minute ladies and gentlemen I just wanted to say a couple of things."

He cleared his throat nervously and she blew him a discreet kiss of support. He nodded at her gratefully and then began more firmly, "when I was growing up my mom was the person I trusted and respected most in the world. She was always so supportive, so reassuring and she always kicked my butt back into line when I was acting like an idiot," the tables of guests laughed and Brooke sniggered, she and Lucas had both been disciplined with Karen's warm but firm words. "But more importantly, my mom taught me about letting people in. She's always guarded her heart so carefully, but at the same time, she's always been willing to give love a chance. When my uncle..." He paused and Brooke bit her lip as she watched him choke up, come on baby, you can do this... He swallowed and smiled quickly at his mother. "When my uncle Keith died I was in a really dark place and I know my mom was too- we really struggled. But somehow we got through and then my mom found Andy again. You know he really is the epitome of patience and support and it is my hope that I am half the man he is. Amy Bloom once said that love at first sight is easy to understand and believe me I can relate-" he glanced at Brooke momentarily, "but it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. My mom and Andy might not have been together a lifetime yet but I have complete faith that they will still be sitting together, drinking champagne and looking at each other the exact same way they are now in fifty years time. And I truly hope they are." He lifted his glass, "congratulations to Mr and Mrs Hargrove."

Everyone applauded again and Brooke beamed at him proudly. She stood to kiss him and as she did so she saw a flash of blonde again. Distracted, she stepped down from the top table and left Lucas frowning after her in confusion, "Brooke-"

She darted through the ballroom trying to keep the blonde in sight and followed the figure outside. Breathless as she reached the steps she'd run up only a few hours before she ran out of patience, "hey wait!" Clutching her side and cursing the fact she'd ignored exercise for the last few months she narrowed her eyes angrily as she made her way down the steps.

The blonde turned, the ghost of a smile on her face, "hello Brooke."

"Peyton. What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

**So showdown time in the next chapter, should be up soon!**


	29. We bend, We Break

**A/N: I'm sorry this UD took ages, it was hard to write! I love them both but Peyton wasn't in the right here so I had to make sure that was clear. I hope it was. Ugh I'm nervous!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my words.**

_We can't survive one boy?_

_Not one boy Peyton, my boy._

The brunette and the blonde stood staring at each other for a long time. Overhead more thunder rumbled softly and the wind whipped Brooke's hair across her face; she ignored it. Slowly she folded her arms and raised her eyebrows. Peyton was still standing looking awkward in jeans and a baggy tee shirt. She looked a mess; Brooke resisted the urge to point this out and continued to wait for her former best friend to explain her sudden appearance. The silence seemed to go on forever and finally Brooke lost her patience.

"Look Peyton, I don't know what the hell you're doing here but I've got a family to get back to and-"

"So overnight my family has become your family," Peyton interrupted bitterly, "how fair is that Brooke?"

Brooke took a step towards her, "don't try and lecture me about fair Peyton. You had your chance. I walked away and I tried to be a good friend to you, even though the whole time you had the one thing I loved more than anything else."

"You never told me you felt that way Brooke! And then you had the nerve to come back here and take everything you wanted!"

"Excuse me?"

"You knew how I felt about Lucas and-"

"We're not doing this again Peyton," Brooke cut in, holding up a hand, "we're done arguing over who broke more best friend rules because you broke the mother of all rules when you became the dirty mistress and cheated with one of your best friend's husbands! Now what the hell are you doing here Peyton?"

"I came to see Karen get married, regardless of what you think, I do still care about _her_ at least."

"Peyton I don't know what kind of gesture you were attempting to make but you cannot think you're ok to be here when you know Haley is inside. No matter how you feel about anyone else you should show her some damn respect!"

"She didn't see me!"

"That is not the point!" Brooke took a step towards her, furious at the girl for having the nerve to be here, "you and Nathan just think you can come and take what you want and hurt anyone and everyone in the process and then just swan back in to our lives without so much as an apology! Well it doesn't work like that Peyton! You don't get to be that selfish. Dammit you're not sixteen anymore!"

"You were the same age you are right now when you were making out with my boyfriend Brooke!"

"I didn't plan it and unlike you both times you ran around behind your friend's backs I came clean and apologised as soon as it happened. I felt awful about it! God do you have any idea how much I wished it hadn't happened like that, how I wish I could take it back and change it? I can't take it back and I wish I could and I can't justify it. But you! You keep trying to act like our behaviour is one in the same, you think you can justify everything you did! You and Nathan- you can't have felt bad at all because you didn't have a one night stand or a momentary lapse in judgement that led to one kiss Peyton you screwed a marriage up!"

"Don't do that Brooke, don't pretend like you're better than me just because you ended up getting everything you wanted; that doesn't make you right!"

"I never said I was right Peyton! And I have never once thought or acted like I was better than you. God, did you know that for years I felt like I was second best to you? I spent most of my teenage years wondering what you had that I didn't!" She clutched her chest briefly and then shook her head, "but that doesn't matter now. We should have gotten over all the high school drama the moment it was over! Haley was your friend, you were there when her children were born, how could you do that to her?!"

"It's actually none of your business," Peyton said cooly.

"Oh get over yourself you made it my business when I caught you screwing my friend's husband! So here we are Peyton," she shrugged, lifting her hands, "I'm not going to let you ruin Haley's day like you've ruined mine so please, tell me, did you have anything else to say?"

Peyton stared at her for a second and then shook her head, "nope, I'm done here. We're done."

Brooke nodded slowly, understanding the double meaning to her words, "fine by me," she said hoarsely.

"Hm," Peyton almost laughed, "the end of nearly fifteen years of friendship and all you can say is fine by me?"

"I'm not sorry," Brooke said softly, "you lost my friendship the first moment you decided to make a move on someone else's husband."

"It wasn't like that it-"

"I don't care how it was; he was married Peyton." She turned away and began to walk up the steps, "and that means everything."

Peyton watched her go and Brooke turned to glance back at her as the rain began to fall, for a moment they gazed levelly at one another and then Brooke shook her head and walked inside. It was over.

_I gave you a second chance Peyton, and you blew it._

* * *

Inside the hotel people were swarming round her and she was jostled around, losing her footing occasionally and uncomfortably near to tears. She brushed her face impatiently, come on Brooke, today was supposed to be a happy day. But dammit the two people she wanted to see least in the world had somehow managed to find her on the one day she wanted to be happy. They couldn't just leave her alone? Somehow this had fallen on her shoulders and she felt like the weight was almost crushing her. She stumbled into the nearest bathroom and pushed open the nearest cubicle door, retching slightly, dizziness making her sink to her knees. Her head was spinning and she could feel hot tears slip down her face. So that was it, her best friend was no longer in her life, and she couldn't have done anything to stop it. If only she'd talked to her sooner- maybe reminded her forcibly that Nathan was married before anyone got hurt- but it was too late. Peyton hadn't come to her and that completely summed up how far they had fallen apart. She sat back against the wall and closed her eyes wearily; this was not how today was supposed to go. She hated that she cared so much. Her best friend. Haley. Nathan. This was so screwed up. She wiped her eyes angrily and inhaled hard.

Lucas was starting to panic. She wasn't in any of the dressing rooms, she wasn't in the ballroom and she wasn't answering her cell. Pushing through the crowds of people, giving quick and strained smiles here and there he made his way outside and peered out into the rain.

"Brooke!" He jogged down the steps and squinted across the car park, "Brooke?" Swallowing down the morbid thoughts his overactive imagination was currently having he dialled her number again and tapped his foot impatiently. Her cell went straight to voicemail and he sighed inwardly, "I'm trying not to be overprotective here pretty girl but you don't normally have a tendency to disappear without telling me where you're going. You missed the first dance but hopefully you'll make it back before they throw the bouquet..." he fell silent and then shook his head, "look just call me babe, something doesn't feel right." He dropped his phone back in his pocket and glancing round one last time he scratched the back of his neck nervously and headed back inside.

"Brooke?" Haley opened the twenty third bathroom door she'd checked in and stopped short, "Brooke what are you doing?!"

Brooke was sitting on the floor underneath the hand drier and was making her way though her third plate of cake. Her hazel eyes shot up guiltily and slowly she pulled the fork she'd been using out of her mouth and licked her lips. "Hey Hales, what's up?"

"What's up?! Luke's going crazy looking for you and I was beginning to wonder Chris had convinced you to run off with him or something." She narrowed her eyes, "what are you doing in here and why are you sitting on the floor?"

"My feet started hurting," Brooke said simply.

"That's not what I meant."

"It's what you asked!"

"Brooke!"

"Fine, I was hungry and I didn't want everyone to see me demolish half the cake."

Haley chuckled and then came to sit down next to her, taking the plate and helping herself to a corner of icing and cream. "Good cake," she mumbled.

"Yeah," Brooke agreed quietly.

They both ate in silence for a moment, passing the fork between them and then finally Haley dusted off her hands and twisted to look at Brooke seriously.

Brooke widened her eyes at her innocently, "what?"

"Brooke Penelope Davis, don't even try the cute eyes- I have a five year old!"

"Fine," Brooke pouted briefly and then relented, "I'm sorry Hales; I've just been so hormonal today, I thought I'd better stay out of everybody's way."

Haley raised her eyebrows, "seriously? You're gonna tell me you're hormonal and expect to believe you? Brooke stop it! You're the one person in my life I count on _not_ to lie to me."

"Ok fine I'm sorry," she struggled to stand, knocking cake plates everywhere and put her hands on her hips crossly, "I know I'm not supposed to lie to you Hales and I hate that you count on me for being honest and I'm letting you down! It's just... I don't want to tell you today Hales! I want you to have a perfect day and be happy with Luke and Karen!" She began to pace, "if I tell you now then I ruin your day but if I don't tell you now I'm lying to you and I don't want to lie to you Hales because I love you! And you were so supportive of me when I came back and I-"

"Brooke enough!" Haley had stood up as Brooke was ranting and clutched her shoulders suddenly, "stop rambling and look at me."

Slowly Brooke looked up at her friend, biting her lip. Finally she exhaled and gushed out, "Hales I saw Nathan today."

Haley blinked in surprise, "oh."

"And I didn't want to tell you but-" Haley was staring at the floor and Brooke tilted her head to one side, "oh honey I'm sorry, I knew I shouldn't have said anything."

"No it's ok," Haley said suddenly, "I've been wrestling with whether to tell you this all week."

"Tell me what?"

"Nathan's been coming by and apologising since last Thursday."

Brooke felt her eyes widen in shock, "what?!"

"I haven't given him an inch," she said firmly, "I let him see Jamie and Grace but I wouldn't talk to him and yesterday I told him to stop trying so I guess- I guess he's decided to pick on you instead."

"Oh sweetie I'm so sorry, why didn't you tell me?"

Haley shrugged, "I just- I didn't want you to worry anymore than you already are about me- I'm a big girl you know? Besides you know what you're like- you would have felt compelled to tell Lucas and he'd probably be in jail right now instead of at his mother's wedding for trying to beat Nathan half to death on the drive."

Brooke laughed and then nodded, "he does do pretty good when he's defending someone he loves. But Hales you should have told me! I could have-"

"Exactly honey, you would have wanted to do something and this is my problem. I love you and Lucas for being there for me but Nathan and I have to deal with this ourselves."

"I feel like I made things worse coming home and pushing Peyton-"

"Don't be stupid," Haley said sharply, "this is not your fault Brooke."

"It's not yours either Hales!"

Haley sighed, "it's not my fault he was a lousy cheater but it was partly my fault he felt like he had no one to talk to- no one to turn to when we were struggling. We should have been supporting one another, not trying to place blame and cheating and ugh, what a mess we've made."

Brooke moved forward and rubbed her friend's back soothingly, "you couldn't have known he would do something so stupid."

"You know I thought we were past the other women but that's just it isn't it? Nathan's always going to run when he hits trouble, he's always going to find an escape instead of dealing with his problems head on." Brooke swallowed, she suddenly felt like she could relate to the running part. "Don't do that either Miss Davis," Haley suddenly said.

"Do what?"

"Don't compare yourself to Nathan."

"I was just as bad," she exclaimed morosely, "I- Lucas-" she voiced her inner fears, she was exactly the same as the lousy cheaters, "I kissed Lucas when he was with Peyton."

"Brooke honey, you had a one time lapse in judgement, you screwed up and you worked like hell to apologise and make up for it. But Nathan and Peyton- they weren't finding ways to tell me or even feeling guilty about it- they were _just_ screwing around. There's a difference."

"I feel like because everyone forgave me, I should be telling you to forgive Nathan when I could just kill him!"

Haley gave her a half smile, "Brooke, you're not perfect but you gotta cut yourself some slack. Things were complicated and you were suddenly with the person you loved most in the world for the first time in five years, I don't judge you for kissing Lucas- hell we've all done the one time stupid kiss thing. And Lucas wasn't married- you guys have a child together," she sat down on the chair they'd been sitting beside and rested her chin in her hands, "god, what has he done?"

Brooke knew they weren't talking about Lucas or her anymore and the relief she had felt when Haley had assured her she wasn't a truly terrible person was replaced with concern for her friend. She knelt down in front of Haley and touched her knee, "Hales? Do _you_ want to forgive Nathan?"

"No," Haley said vehemently, "but god I wish we could just go back and change it all you know? Maybe if I hadn't been so wrapped up in Grace and Jamie-"

"They're your children," Brooke suddenly broke in, "they come before anything, trust me, I get that."

Haley met her eyes dubiously and then nodded, "I know."

"Maybe, maybe you don't have to forgive him right now," Brooke thought aloud, "maybe you don't even have to be with him. Maybe you can focus on you for a while Hales. I mean when was the last time you did something for yourself?"

Scoffing Haley rolled her eyes, "I went on tour- remember how that worked out?"

Brooke shook her head, "Haley stop it! Stop beating yourself up!"

"I will if you will," Haley retorted.

For a second they both narrowed their eyes at one another and then Brooke broke out into a wide smile, "come on," she grabbed Haley's hand, "let's just go and spend some time with our family and forget about everything else."

"Ahh sounds perfect!"

_You're such a grouch when Lucas isn't around!_

Linking arms the two brunettes made their way back into the ballroom where Karen and Andy were dancing with Lily in between them and Jayden and Jamie were demolishing the rest of the cake. Lucas looked up from leaning against the bar and his face washed with relief. "Brooke!"

He strode towards them and she pulled an apologetic face, "I'm sorry! I- I was eating cake."

"Cake?!" He kissed her and glanced at Haley, "Hales you have icing on your face."

"Oh!" Haley rubbed at her face and glared at Brooke, "thanks for the heads up!"

"I didn't notice!"

Brooke examined Haley's skin now and Haley pulled away, "stop it!"

"I'm sorry!"

Brooke felt near to tears again and Haley gripped her hand, "oh no Brooke I'm sorry-"

"No it's ok," she brushed her hands away crossly, "damn hormones!"

"It's perfectly normal," Lucas began, smiling benignly down at her.

"No it's not, I do _not_ cry like this!"

Haley snorted, "Brooke you cry at commercials."

"Yeah well you know what I mean!"

"You're pregnant, you're bound to be more emotional," Lucas rubbed his chest, "I know I am."

Brooke shoved his arm, "don't mock me."

He began to laugh and slipped an arm round her waist, "ok ok, sorry baby, it's completely abnormal and you're the first pregnant woman ever to cry at nothing."

Haley sniggered and Brooke pulled away from Lucas, folding her arms and pouting, "stop it both of you! You can't gang up on me- I'm pregnant!"

"You're right, we're sorry," Haley scrunched up her nose, "it's just so easy."

"Ugh I hate you both!" She tossed her hair and stormed off across the dance floor to where Millicent was sitting having a thumb war with Jayden.

"Hey baby," she dropped a kiss on his head and sat down, scowling across to where Lucas and Haley were laughing with Skillz. Lucas glanced across at her and winked and unwillingly she couldn't help but smile back. Rolling her eyes she turned back to her son, "what you up to?"

"Beating Millie for the hundredth time," he beamed up at her, "now she owes me a watch and a car!"

She laughed, "is that all?!"

Millicent met her eyes in amusement, "yeah I told him he has to wait until he's at least ten for the watch though- they're so easy to lose. But we can get on the car thing now if you like?"

"Absolutely," Brooke deadpanned, "his legs are still shorter than mine and I can barely reach the steering wheel."

"That's because you own a car that's too big for you," Millie retorted.

"Is it pick on Brooke day or something?!"

Millicent chuckled, messing with something on her cell, "oh hey Rach is flying in tomorrow."

Brooke looked up in surprise, "really? Oh goody!"

"Yeah she had a fight with the man so she had delay the flight to have make up s-"

"Hey!" Brooke cut her off before she could finish her sentence and Millicent coughed awkwardly. "Honestly," Brooke muttered, "you can take the girl out of New York but you can't take New York out of the dirty mouthed girl."

"Hey momma," Jayden suddenly interrupted the girls teasing.

"Yeah honey?"

"Can I stay over at Jamie's tonight?"

"Well I don't know Jay, we'll have to ask Aunt Haley. Now you too cool to wanna dance with your mom?"

He considered her for a moment and then smiled, "no, that'd be ok."

"Oh well thanks mister," she grinned at Millicent and then took her son's hand, pulling him onto the dance floor. Jayden humoured her for two songs and then began to look seriously bored.

"You mind if I cut in there kiddo?" Lucas slinked a hand round her back and looked down at his son expectantly.

"Maybe he does mind," Brooke kinked an eyebrow, "maybe he'll get _emotional_ if we have to part."

Jayden raised his young eyebrows and shook his head, "no offence mom but I'm gonna go find Jayden."

"Thanks for the support honey!"

Lucas grinned at her triumphantly as Jayden disappeared, she scowled at him. "I'm still mad at you."

"Ohhh," he wound his arms around her waist, "I know."

"Hey," she said suddenly, stiffening in his arms, "we need to talk."

"I know," he replied easily.

"You do?"

"I've been waiting for you to tell me what's been bugging you all day," he twirled her under his arm easily and pulled her back towards him, "so spill pretty girl."

_When life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same._

**So, obviously the issues raised in this chapter aren't over- i'm not trying to gloss over anything, I just didn't want to drag it out in every conversation. i hope it was ok anyway!**


	30. No One Ever Really Makes It Alone

**A/N: Guys i'm really sorry for the long delay, i was on holiday! but no excuse, so here we are, chapter 30! thank you all for the support and the reviews- they're great, any more are always welcome lol.**

**Disclaimer: it feels like a long time since i did one of these but unfortunately i wasn't away buying OTH, oh how different things would be... anyway, i don't own.**

_Morning boyfriend... again._

Brooke rolled over slowly and opened her eyes sleepily. Lucas was smiling at her faintly and she scrunched her nose up, "were you watching me sleep?"

"No," he grinned, "you kicked me right before you woke up and that kind of knocked me awake."

"Oh god I'm sorry!" She touched his chest, "did I hurt you?"

"No more than usual," he chuckled, catching her hand, "I'm used to it."

She reached out and pushed his hair back, "it's toughening you up sweetie."

"I'm already tough!"

"Oh ok... sure you are."

He scowled at her, "you know I was gonna give you a present early but-"

"Oh no no no I take it back! I love you and you're really strong, please give me a present now!"

"Nope," he folded his arms, staring at the ceiling, "you've said it now. You'll just have to be patient and wait until tomorrow like everybody else."

She pouted "come on, please? I'll make it worth your while..."

For a moment he kept his eyes determinedly on the ceiling and then he smiled widely at her, god she loved that smile, before leaning over the side of the bed. "You're lucky I'm feeling nice this morning," he said in a muffled voice.

She watched the muscles in his back tense up as he searched around and then lay back and closed her eyes. It was Christmas Eve and a month had passed since her emotional showdown with Peyton. She had heard no more of her since then and had instead been focusing on helping Jayden prepare for his school Christmas play which was tonight, planning something new and spectacular for her designs and of course being pregnant. The last had been particularly draining recently. Three and a half months in she was suffering from terrible morning sickness- something she'd avoided the last time around and mood swings that Lucas had had the good fortune to miss the last time around as well. Millicent was much more equipped to dealing with the changes in personality having three sisters and eleven nieces and nephews and Lucas was seriously grateful she was around. But despite the nausea, the inexplicable weeping over shoe adverts and swinging between deliriously happy and furious in 2.8 seconds she was actually completely content. Jayden was happy and thriving at school with Jamie, the new line she was slowly putting together looked pretty good and she and Lucas were... well blissful. She rubbed her face impatiently and kicked her feet.

"Ok what is taking so long?!"

Lucas sat back up, something behind his back, "close your eyes," he commanded.

She narrowed them instead, "I don't like the sound of that."

"Just do it babe, please," his eyes pleaded with her for a moment and finally she sighed exaggeratedly and then closed them.

"You better not draw on my face or something," she warned.

He chuckled and then sat up, leaning towards her, "that's more _your_ style Miss Davis." He was suddenly very close and when she opened her eyes he was inches from her face. Between them on the bed was a small black velvet box and Brooke breathed in sharply. "Brooke," he whispered, "will you marry me?"

Brooke smiled at him shyly, "you already asked me that."

"I know- but I did it wrong, I didn't have a ring or a romantic setting-"

She broke him off with a kiss, "it was perfect for me Lucas Scott."

"Well, I'm glad about that seeing as I can't change it now. But if you tell the grand kids it sucked I won't be so happy."

"I won't I swear!"

"I believe you," he said softly, "anyway, now you get a ring too."

Smiling brightly she bit her lip, "do I get to see it?"

He reached down and opened the box slowly; she could feel her heart hammering absurdly hard as she looked down at it... It was perfect. It was styled with a beautiful square cut muted pink diamond, a cluster of diamonds wrapped around it. The colour was exactly right, not too bright and garish, but it had a sparkle to it and it was totally a Brooke colour.

"It's vintage," he whispered, grinning, "1933."

She swallowed, staring at it and breathing hard, "it's beautiful."

"It belonged to a Mrs Isla Benton, married sixty two years- thought that was a good sign." He suddenly felt nervous, "do you like it?"

"Like it? Luke I love it!"

"You do?" He smiled, relief washing over his face, "oh god that's good- it took me like three days to find the right one." He took her hand, "you wanna try it on?"

"Can I?"

He chuckled, "sure babe- it's gonna be your ring."

She watched as he slipped it on her finger and then bent his head over her hand, kissing it. "I love you Brooke Davis," he murmured.

Brooke reached out and stroked his hair, "I love you too."

_Well I always figured I would marry a millionaire, and he would whisk me away to his private island in the Bahama's... Where are you on that anyway?_

As he was leaning forward to kiss her the doorbell downstairs rang and they both looked up in surprise. Lucas sighed and collapsed back on the pillows, "isn't everybody we know staying here?"

"I don't know," Brooke leant over the side of the bed to rummage around on the floor for a hoodie, "I heard maybe Chris was looking for a place to stay for Christmas."

He shot her a warning look, "not funny."

"Sorry baby," she patted his cheek, "low blow."

"Maybe you can make it up to me," he suggested, catching her hand.

The doorbell rang again and Brooke rolled her eyes, "ugh coming! Hold that thought," she called back to Lucas who grinned and rolled over to stare happily at the celing.

As she ran quickly down the stairs Haley appeared from one of the guest rooms yawning and running a hand through her hair, "sorry- should I get that?"

"No don't worry about it," Brooke waved a hand easily, "it might be Nathan with another bouquet of flowers and I really need some for my bathroom."

Haley managed a faint smile- over the last few days Nathan had been ignoring her requests to simply disappear and die somewhere and was turning up all over the place, pleading with her to forgive him, to take him back, give him another chance. She was surviving through sheer force of will and the humour that Brooke and Lucas were providing her with. She prayed reverently now that it was not Nathan at the door; it was too early for her to deal with him.

Brooke pulled open the door and beamed as a familiar red head turned from chatting on a cell phone, snapped it shut and smiled at her, "Merry Christmas and all that Davis."

"Thank you! And a Happy Christmas to you too Gattina."

"Well thanks," Rachel raised her eyebrows at her, "you look like you just got out of bed; I hope I didn't pull you away from anything too important."

"Oh no," Lucas appeared, sliding his arms around Brooke's waist, "nothing is as important as you Rachel."

Rachel smiled at him sweetly, "of course- I forgot that Scott senior isn't famous for his prowess in that department."

Despite herself Brooke sniggered and Lucas scowled at them both, "so glad you could join us ghost of Christmas evil. I'm going to put the coffee on."

"Love you," Brooke called after him.

"Yeah yeah," he waved a hand over his shoulder at them.

Brooke turned back to Rachel, unable to wipe the smile off her face and reached for Rachel's bag, "come on in holiday cheery."

Rachel caught her hand suddenly, "wait a minute, _what_ is this?!"

"Oh," Brooke smiled happily as Rachel examined her new ring, "it's my engagement ring."

"Wow," Rachel looked up at her and raised an eyebrow, "I'm officially impressed Davis. He's a very lucky man," she added.

_If Brooke's the one, make the shot._

_What happened?_

_It went in._

"Well now it has your seal of approval it must be perfect," Brooke quipped, dragging the heavy bag into the hall.

"Please, you know I'm the expert in these things; especially engagement rings," Rachel said breezily, pulling Brooke's hand close to her nose to examine again. "This one is old- but pretty, very pretty. Must have cost him-"

"Rachel!" Haley suddenly cut in as she appeared at the top of the stairs, "you're back from Paris already?"

Rachel shrugged, "you know it wouldn't be Christmas without me James- you look thin," she added, a tinge of concern in her voice.

Haley came down to hug her and then waved a hand in dismissal, "oh I've just been running round after Grace a lot and the school play tonight- it's all just been keeping me on my feet."

Both Rachel and Brooke looked unconvinced and Haley rolled her eyes, "oh come on like either of you can talk miss stick thin supermodel and miss barely looks pregnant!" She jabbed them both in the ribs teasingly and then headed towards the kitchen to where Lucas was making coffee.

"She looks better," Rachel said thoughtfully, "but still too thin." She looped her arm through Brooke's, "so Nathan's-"

"Still being given the cold shoulder," Brooke said firmly.

"The cold shoulder isn't good enough," Rachel retorted. "He should be castrated."

Brooke scoffed teasingly, "coming from she who hit on the very same man not so long ago?"

Rachel raised an eyebrow, "yeah but that was high school Davis, some of us have grown up since then."

"Well that's true," Brooke was silent for a moment and then smiled up at Rachel, "I'm glad you made it back in time for Christmas."

"Rachel!" Jayden's voice was joyful as he realised one of his favourite people in the world had arrived and he dived down the stairs towards her.

"Hey sugar," Rachel caught him up and hugged him hard, "how you been?"

"Great! Did mom tell you I'm in a play tonight?"

"She sure did, what do you think I came home for?"

Jayden's eyes shone with excitement, "I'm one of the three wise men!"

"Really?" Rachel carried him into the kitchen and released him on one of the kitchen chairs, "I sure hope you didn't ask your dad for any advice on how to play one of those."

Lucas narrowed his eyes at her and Jayden who missed the comment rummaged in the nearest cereal box- searching for the toy. "And then," he beckoned Rachel to come closer- he didn't quite see her as an adult the same way his mom and dad and Haley were so he felt he could trust her with a secret- "we're gonna stay up and see if we can spot Santa!"

"Cool," Rachel whispered back, "and what are you gonna do if you see him?"

Jayden hesitated- he and Jamie hadn't actually thought about that too much, the excitement of staying up had been enough- but he rallied, "we're gonna get him to take us to the North Pole where _all_ the toys are."

Rachel chuckled, "make sure you're dressed for the occasion then."

His eyes widened, "good thinking!"

Brooke came over and kissed the top of her son's head as she passed them to make toast, "what are you two plotting over here?"

"Nothing!" They both replied simultaneously and Rachel, meeting Brooke's eyes over Jayden's head smiled warmly.

"Good to be back?"

"Definitely."

Rachel had flown into Tree Hill the Monday after Karen's wedding and had been a breath of sensible, no- nonsense fresh air. She had reminded Brooke exactly how much of her company she had built herself- dismissed the problems with Victoria as insignificant and basically told Brooke to get her butt into gear and start doing what she did best. In a move that both touched and surprised Haley, Rachel had declared her complete support for her and offered to shoot Nathan. Although she had maybe once attempted to push the line with him, Rachel had grown a whole lot since high school. Her love life was complicated, but she was always faithful and no longer sat as comfortably with lying as she once had done. But she was still Rachel; and the actor she'd been seeing on and off for twelve months had stormed across to Europe in a cloud of frustration over her reluctance to commit and a week later, with plenty of eye rolling and grumbling about him needing to grow up Rachel had finally flown over to persuade him she really was all in. The reunion had lasted two days before she'd tired of Paris, and of the actor boyfriend, and flown home to her friends. She always found it funny that she referred to Tree Hill as home, but it really was. As it was for the whole little group sitting round the table. This had to be one of the places Rachel felt safest in the world.

"Breakfast first little monster!" Haley suddenly said pointing at her son who was attempting to creep out the door and admire the snow.

"But-"

"Hey hey, did you hear me change my mind?"

He scowled at her for a second and then he smiled, "ok momma."

She ruffled his hair affectionately as he went past and then reached for her own cereal bowl. Lucas sat down beside Rachel and his son, "so how was your flight?"

Rachel sat back helping herself to some of the toast Brooke had placed on the table moments before, "bumpy. We were pretty lucky to get in before most of the snow this morning."

"Yeah," Lucas said drily, "we would have all missed your presence otherwise."

Brooke pinched his leg and he squirmed, "what he's trying to say Rach- is that we're all glad you made it in ok."

"Oh I know," Rachel reclined and dismissed Luke's remark easily, "you love me really don't you Luke?"

"Yeah of course," he shot her a dark look, "I'm just hiding my joy that you're here... deep down inside."

"Don't be mean to Rachel," Jayden suddenly demanded, clambering onto her knee and winding his arms round her neck, "otherwise you can't come to my play tonight!"

"But i'm nice to you Jay," Lucas protested.

"You have to be nice to Rachel to!"

Rachel smirked at Lucas and he narrowed his eyes at her and his son, "what's with ganging up on the old man?!"

"Why can't Uncle Lucas come? I like him," Jamie piped up.

"Ha, see, you menace Jayden Davis. Someone likes me!" Lucas swept his son up into his arms and over his shoulder, "now I'm gonna take you to my lair and eat you alive!"

"No!!" Jayden's shrieks of laughter could be heard all the way down the hall. Jamie ran after them excitedly.

Rachel rolled her eyes laughing and then turned back to Brooke, "he's really good with him."

"I know," the brunette replied softly, "he's great."

"I can't believe how together you two are. It's weird," she shuddered, "you're _committed_."

Brooke chuckled, "kind of the point if you get engaged you know?"

"But you know," Rachel leant forward, "this is it girl. You're head over heels. There's no going back."

Grabbing her hand suddenly Brooke faked a concerned expression, "uuuhh oh, now you've put it like that."

Haley sniggered and got up to pour more coffee, "leave her be Rachel. At least she knows who she's marrying." There was a silence as Brooke and Rachel exchanged glances. "Stop it," Haley said firmly, "I can hear you both worrying." She padded towards the door, "i'm gonna go finish Jamie's cape, by the way, thank you for the concern but I am fine! It's Christmas, we're all together, that's what's important."

Rachel smiled at her understandingly, she needed space. Turning back to Brooke she lifted an eyebrow, "so you're a thousand percent sure, I mean he is a Scott."

"Rach," Brooke squeezed her hand, "I promise, i'm sure. I know you have your doubts but I don't anymore."

"Just after last time-"

"I know. But this is different. When we were in New York I was running, i'm not running anymore. I love Lucas. And I know he loves me."

After a moments silence Rachel broke into a smile, "finally! Brooke Davis and Lucas Scott. Took you two long enough."

* * *

Brooke shifted nervously in her seat and again thanked her stars she'd made it here so early. She and Millicent had met for coffee before Millicent went home for Christmas and then she had come straighht to school. She'd saved four seats in the front row and she was seriously relieved- the guy who had just sat behind her was at least a head taller than Lucas and she knew she would have had no chance seeing over the top of his head.

"Brooke?"

She twisted in her seat and looked up in surprise, "Owen?! Oh my god," she stood up quickly to hug him, "what are you doing here?"

"Oh," he gestured behind him, "my brother's got a kid in the first grade and we're pretty close so I thought I'd come along before I go open Tric for my busiest night of the year."

"Really? Christmas Eve is your busiest night?"

"Sure- you got lots of couples, lots of singletons, lots of depressed and lonely people, all using tequila to keep their troubles at bay."

Brooke bit her lip, "I think I can relate."

Owen waved a hand, "you were pretty well behaved compared to most of my customers. Anyway," they sat down and Brooke turned round in her seat to talk to him ,"is Jayden in this?"

"Yeah- he's one of the wise men," she said proudly. "It took me forever to make the costume!"

"I had no idea he and Ben were in the same class," Owen shook his head, "I probably should have put two and two together." A man, the spitting image of Owen; with the exception that his thick dark hair was greying and his nose had clearly been broken several times suddenly appeared beside Owen.

"Unbelievable, "he chuckled, "I leave you for two minutes and I get back and you're already making friends."

"Uh no it's not like that," Owen said quickly.

"Hi," Brooke beamed at him and reached out a hand, "I'm Jayden's mom Brooke."

"Logan, Ben's dad," he smiled at her widely and shook her hand, "Jayden's a pretty recent addition to the class I believe?"

"Yeah, we moved from New York a couple of months ago- Tree Hill is home though. We just had some time away."

_I'm going home to my family._

"Ok hon I brought all the snacks I could fit in my Prada bag and-" Rachel stopped talking as she realised Brooke was in the middle of a conversation with the two extremely attractive men sitting behind them, "well hello there."

Owen was staring up at her in awe and Brooke met Logan's eyes and they both smirked.

"H-hey," Owen held out a hand, "you Brooke's sister?"

"If I were we'd have to agree I'm the hotter one right?" She took his hand and sat down next to Brooke, practically leaning off the back of the chair to talk to him, "I'm Rachel, I'm the least well behaved of the three fairy godmothers."

"That's what I like to hear." He was smiling up at her, almost in a daze, "I'm Owen..." He seemed to physically pull himself together and blinked, "oh and uh this is my brother Logan."

"Hi," Rachel said glancing at him and then turning back to Owen. "So how do you know Brooke?"

Rolling her eyes and excusing herself discreetly from the conversation Brooke stood up and made her way to where Haley and Lucas had just arrived. "Did you save us seats?" Haley was out of breath and had a worried look on her face, "Lucas was messing about in the car park trying to make sure the car was parked perpendicularly."

"I was not," Lucas retorted crossly, "you complained about the first two places I stopped because you said you'd have to walk through too much snow."

"Lucas, you practically parked on the field!"

"Ok," Brooke cut in, "the important thing is that we're all here now- Jayden and Jamie are dressed and ready. Hales why don't you go say good luck to Jamie? I'll hold Gracie here- and Luke did you bring a camera?"

"Of course," he was still glowering at his best friend, "I am capable of _some_ things."

Haley scoffed, "yeah just don't make driving your day job."

He narrowed his eyes at her, "I won't if you don't."

For a second they glared at one another and then Brooke cleared her throat, prying Grace out of Haley's arms and gently nudged her towards the door, "go on Hales." Haley shot her a grateful look and then turned away. Brooke waited for Lucas to meet her gaze, her eyebrows raised.

"What?" His eyes were suddenly innocent.

"You know what," she reprimanded him, "picking a fight on Christmas Eve is not exactly charitable. Now come one- we're over here."

He watched her as she expertly switched Grace from one hip to the other, pushing her hair back from her face at the same time. He caught a flash of her engagement ring and smiled to himself. "You're too good for me," he murmured quietly as they headed over to where Brooke had set up camp.

"I know," she said lightly, "but you did buy me a pretty ring so you're in my good books."

"I'll remember that for next time." He took Grace from her as she sat down and then noticed Owen sitting behind them. "Oh-" he suddenly felt extremely flustered, the last time he'd seen this guy he hadn't exactly been on his best behaviour. Brooke pulled an apologetic face at him as he glanced at her, what was he doing here?

"This is Brooke's other half," Rachel was saying, "Lucas Scott."

Owen was gazing up at him steadily, "hi Lucas."

"Hey," he shifted awkwardly.

"You guys know each other?"

"You could say that," Lucas scratched the back of his neck and felt a sweeping relief as Haley re-appeared.

"Haley hello!" The guy next to Owen stood up to greet Haley and then turned to Lucas, "Logan Manganiello by the way. You're Jamie's Uncle right?"

"Right," Lucas sank into his chair and said with pride, "and my son, Jayden is in the same class."

"That's great- so you and Brooke?"

"She's my fiancee."

"It's about time," Owen muttered. Brooke shot him a warning look and he twinkled at her, holding up his hands, "seriously, congratulations you guys."

"Thanks," Lucas nodded, forgetting his awkwardness and beaming at Brooke. She winked at him and then they both turned to face the stage as Rachel shushed them, glancing over her shoulder once more to meet Owen's eyes.

Miss Corday, the boy's first grade teacher came onto the stage in front of them. Haley's video camera whirled quietly into action. "Hello and welcome to the first grade Christmas play! The children and I thought long and hard about our play's themes this year and we've decided that along with the traditional story we'll be reminding all our friends and family about the true meanings of Christmas. The themes I am proud to say occur daily in our classroom, generosity, kindness and consideration. So I will say no more, but leave it in the children's hands," she added in a stage whisper, "with a little help from myself and Mrs Mitchell, to tell the story of Christmas."

Feeling tears swell up before the music had even begun Brooke reached down and squeezed Lucas' hand. He squeezed hers back and she felt her heart almost burst with pride as the curtains drew back to reveal Jayden in his gold and red costume, the smile so identical to his father's on full display. Ignoring the audience for a moment she stood up quickly and took a picture, waving at her son. He noticed her and waved back discreetly and then turned back to the rest of the hall, his face sweetly serious as he began to speak the words he'd spent so long memorizing.

In the dark at the back of the hall Nathan slipped into the nearest seat and sank down low in it. He didn't want to disturb anyone or cause a scene; he just wanted to watch his son and his nephew in their Christmas play. If anyone had looked behind and noticed him they would have seen a dishevelled mess. He hadn't shaved in weeks and had lost a lot of weight. He'd stopped training- uninterested in success on the basketball court if he didn't have his family to celebrate with. His clothes were clean enough- he hadn't wanted to turn up at Jamie's school looking entirely like a tramp, but there was no sparkle in his blue eyes, no laugh playing across his face. And he was exhausted. He wished reverently he could go and sit on the front row where he could see Brooke's dark hair swishing as Gracie tugged on it with fascination and his brother sitting, happy and complete with his family. Even Rachel was there, smiling up at the stage. And Haley. He could see her hair had grown longer- it suited her. She was watching their son with a look of pure joy on her face; it had been a long time since he'd seen her look at him the same way. He sighed inwardly. He knew he'd screwed up. There was no excuse and he knew he didn't deserve forgiveness. He'd just felt so trapped, so pressured to be great for them all. And Peyton... well she hadn't had responsibilities or kids or problems- she'd been so easy. She hadn't yelled or fought with him. He guessed that deep down they hadn't cared enough about each other like that to fight. He loved Peyton, but as one of his dear friends, nothing more. He'd been deluded, they had both needed an escape, a quick fix, they hadn't been an answer. And he didn't miss her, he missed his wife.

_We're together now right? You and me. That means everything to me._


	31. You Were My First and Only Second Chance

**A/N: I'm really sorry for the slow UD guys, lately my romantic muse has been missing. Lol writing happy fics has been like drawing blood from a stone. So sorry. ETA: I've had this chapter written for days but my stupid internet has been screwy, i apologise!**

_Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.._

"Brooke!" Lucas picked up a line of tinsel that Walker had been pulling around the house and then leant over the banister, "Brooke are you up there?"

"How long to I have?"

He chuckled, "you have minus eleven minutes- fortunately everyone seems to be running a little late."

"Just gimme a second!"

"Take your time."

Everyone was the usual crowd, Skillz, Bevin, Junk, Fergie and a few new faces such as Owen and his co-worker Ryan. And they were all descending on Brooke and Lucas' for a New Year's Eve celebratory bash. A bash that Brooke was still not dressed for. Lucas and Haley had spent the last half hour putting up streamers and Jamie and Jayden had been setting up Guitar Hero in the lounge.

"I found it!" Brooke appeared suddenly looking flushed and triumphant.

Lucas was about to ask what she'd found when he looked up and stopped short. Brooke was at the top of the stairs looking incredible in a dusty gold dress with her hair cascading down her shoulders. He felt breathless for a moment and then moved slowly up the dark blue carpet until he was standing a few stairs beneath her. "Wow," he breathed out quietly. "You look... amazing."

Brooke blinked in surprise at such a compliment and then smiled faintly, "good dress?"

"Yeah- uh-" he coughed to clear his throat, "let's just say you're lucky people are arriving any minute or there might not be much of a dress left."

She laughed and placed a hand on his shoulder, "then it _is_ lucky people are arriving because this dress is Christian Lacroix and if you rip it I'll hurt you."

"Understood," he muttered leaning forward to kiss her neck.

Brooke pulled away finally, "ok so you wanna see what I found?"

"Mmm, I don't know," he kinked an eyebrow, "is it something dirty?"

"Ew you think I'd keep things like that in the family home- weekends away only baby," she teased.

"Oo are we planning a weekend away anytime soon?" He asked hopefully, his eyes lighting up.

She rolled her eyes, "no. Now hold out your hands."

"That still sounds kinda dirty babe."

"Well it wasn't meant to!"

She pouted at him and he relented with an exaggerated sigh, "fine ok-" he closed his eyes..."I'm ready for my punishment," he teased.

"_Lucas_! Ok now I'm sorry it's late, it's just that I bought it a really long time ago when we weren't- well you know-" she shook her head, "anyway- I saw it and I thought of you and- I kept it and I couldn't find it on Christmas day so-"

"Babe! Anytime this year please?"

"Sorry!"

She put something heavy in his hands and he was about to say something else to drive her crazy when he opened his eyes and realised what he was looking at. "Brooke-"

"Do you like it? I mean is it a good copy?"

He was staring down at what had to be a first edition of The Winter of Our Discontent. It had that really glorious old smell about it and it took him right back to wondering around that book store with Brooke so many years ago. He smiled faintly and then looked up at her, his eyes warm, "it's, well it's about the most perfect gift you could have bought for me."

Her face visibly relaxed, "oh thank god- and you remember right?"

He circled his arms around her waist, "I could never forget."

_Hey Brooke, I got something for you._

_I know you do gorgeous._

_It's that book I was telling you about._

"It was the first book you ever gave me to read."

"Wasn't it like the first book you'd _ever_ read?"

She thumped him and he laughed, "I'm sorry- couldn't resist, and I remember, I remember testing you on it as well."

"Yeah so do I," she chuckled, "you were such a nerd sweetie."

"And proud of it," he said firmly bending to kiss her, "thank you Brooke, it's beautiful."

_Thought you might wanna check it out._

_Oh I definitely wanna check it out- I suppose I could read the book too._

"You're welcome," she smiled up at him, running a hand through his hair. "Hey Luke-"

Without warning the front door suddenly burst open and about thirty people sailed in shouting their hellos.

"Nice place you got here Brooke."

"Luke long time!"

"Davis is this a sixty incher? Three hundred channels? Niiiicccce!"

"Yo J Davis you got your Guitar Hero there? I still need to whoop your behind after last week."

"Rachel did you get thinner?"

"Where's the music system? I bought the new LCD album!"

"Brooke oh my god hi!"

"Did I hear you guys are engaged? Congratulations!"

Their friends swarm around them, kissing cheeks, shaking hands and then disappearing into the house to make themselves comfortable.

Lucas placed the book on the mini white wood table at the top of the stairs and then slid an arm around Brooke's waist. They made their way downstairs and moved into the living room where Daft Punk was already throbbing through the speakers on the wall. Jayden and Jamie were staring intently at the tv as they successively proved that six year olds were far better at Guitar Hero than Skillz would ever be.

"You ok?" Lucas whispered in Brooke's ear with concern tinged in his voice. "It's not too loud?"

She squeezed his waist, "I'm fine baby- both of us are. I'm gonna go help Hales get some food out."

* * *

Haley flipped her cell shut the moment Brooke walked into the kitchen and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

"What for?"

"Uh- that was Chris. He just wanted to say happy new year," she added quickly.

Brooke raised her eyebrows, "and- you don't think I'd be ok with that because?"

"Because it's Chris! You remember how you and Lucas were at Karen's wedding- I don't want to keep reminding you that he's in our lives still. Well, mine at least." She looked extremely apologetic and Brooke rolled her eyes affectionately.

"Oh honey I don't care about that!" She moved to wrap an arm around her friend's shoulders and pushed Haley's hair out of her face, "I care about _you_, and your happiness. Now, Chris might be... the devil's child-" Haley scoffed and Brooke continued, "but he is _your_ friend and I know he's been there for you so- it's ok."

"Really?"

"Of course," she squeezed Haley's hand with her spare hand and dimpled at her, "whatever you need Hales."

Haley sighed, smiling at her quickly and then began to arrange sausage rolls on a plate for the boys, "thanks Brooke."

"_I_ just need to work out how to stop Luke from killing Chris every time they're in the same room..." She paused and tapped her chin jokingly, "do you think there's some sort of time warp I can use to make them think they're in _different_ rooms when they're technically not..."

"Hmmm, maybe you should speak to Mouth about that," Haley laughed but her eyes were tired.

For a second Brooke watched her, not saying that really, what she thought Haley needed was Nathan back. The two of them didn't seem to function right without one another. Hales was looking pale and constantly worn down. Her eyes had no sparkle in them. And she hadn't seen Nathan lately but he sounded worse and worse every time he rang to try and make her get Haley to talk to him. Her heart ached for both of them, she knew how bad it felt to love someone and not be able to be with them all the time. But she was damned if she would be giving Nathan an in any time soon- he was staying out in the cold for as long as _Haley_ needed. She realised the phone was ringing, cutting through her thoughts and reached over the table to pick it up.

"Davis Scott residence-" god saying that with the added Scott would never get old- "hello?"

"Brooke?" The voice was immediately recognisable as Nathan's.

"Sorry wrong number," she said startled, slamming the phone down.

Haley looked up in surprise, "you ok?"

"Yeah," Brooke dropped the phone in the nearest drawer; there was no way Haley needed to answer _that_ call tonight and grabbed the bowl of chips, "I'll be right back."

Rachel appeared at the door as Brooke was leaving, "wow Rach you look-"

"Hot? I know," she said easily, "but thanks. So uh- are, you know, some of the guys from Tric coming by?"

Brooke and Haley glanced at each other and Brooke bit her lip, trying hard not to laugh, "maybe," she said innocently.

Rachel narrowed her eyes at her, "it's bad enough that I have to ask- couldn't you at least put me out of my misery and tell me if Owen's coming or not?"

"What fun would that be?"

"I'm serious!"

"Ok ok. He said he might make it- which I suspect seeing as how I dropped your name into the conversation and the fact that you'll be here like a thousand times means wild dogs won't keep him away."

"Aw," Rachel's face softened.

Brooke chuckled, "oh my god, you're behaving like such a girl Rach."

"I am not!"

"You so are!"

"Shut up! Besides, you're fat."

"I'm pregnant!"

"On your ass?"

"Bitch!"

"Whore!"

"Slut!"

They continued bickering for moment when suddenly Brooke clutched her arm and winced in surprise, "woah!"

"Oh god Brooke what is it?"

Haley dived round the island to catch her friend's other arm, "Brooke?"

"It moved!" She opened her eyes looking at them both in delight, "guys I can feel it moving!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah- quick get Luke!" She laughed in excitement and Haley ran to get Lucas. Brooke grabbed Rachel's hand, "can you feel it?"

"Holy mother-" she bit her lip, "I probably shouldn't swear in front of baby number two should I?"

Brooke laughed, "he or she'll have to get used to it- especially with you. You're godmother by the way," she blurted out.

Tears sparked in Rachel's eyes and she blinked them away furiously, "really? I mean I'm already one of Jay's-"

"I don't care," Brooke said firmly, "you and Millie- this kid needs no nonsense ass kicking godmother's and you two- you've been my backbone whenever I've needed it. And that's final. What do you say?"

"What do you think? Oh my god Brooke I'd be honoured!"

"Brooke!" Lucas appeared, wide eyed with his tie flung over his shoulder from playing pool with Fergie. He stopped short- distracted momentarily by the sight of Rachel wiping her eyes, "Rachel are you crying?"

"No!"

A smirk flickered across his face and then he remembered why he'd been hustled into the kitchen in the first place, "Brooke, you ok?"

"Luke feel this quick!"

He reached forward and splayed a hand across her stomach and almost immediately his face lit up, "oh my god!" He looked up at her, his blue eyes dancing with excitement, "god I love you." He bent forward and kissed her passionately.

Brooke reached up and touched his cheek gently, still revelling in the movement underneath her other hand.

"Get a room," Rachel muttered suddenly, breaking the moment.

"Jealous," Lucas shot back at her, still leaning into Brooke's face, smiling at her, stroking the curve of her jaw.

A cell phone began to ring and Lucas tore his eyes away from Brooke and searched for it in his pockets. He squinted at the number and his previously ecstatic expression faded away, "excuse me a sec," he muttered gruffly before marching outside and snapping down the phone, "what do you want?"

Brooke watched him go thoughtfully and then Jayden appeared, wide eyed and beaming, "mom! I beat Skillz again!"

"That's great baby," she moved to kiss the top of his head and with a last glance at Lucas, who was standing facing the pool, his back rigid with tension, she grabbed a soda and handed it to her son, "here Jay."

"Thank you." He snapped the lid open, his eyes fixed in concentration on the task- making sure he didn't spill any.

She bent down suddenly and pressed their foreheads together, "I love you Jayden Davis."

He smiled at her, his impish grin so similar to hers- complete with dimples and said, "I love you too Momma."

"Brooke!" Rachel hollered at her from the lounge, "New York is calling!" She stood up and realised a song she and Rachel had danced to constantly for over a year was playing, _Drop it like it's hot. _It was old but a total classic and she grinned and moved into the dimly lit room, grabbing her son's hand and taking him with her.

* * *

At ten fifteen Owen and a group of his extremely hot friends arrived, much to Rachel's excitement and at eleven Lucas had crossly peeled Brooke away from talking to one of the guys- "we were talking about a restaurant we both went to in New York!" She had protested innocently but he was definitely having none of it. "Do I need to wear a sign saying I love Lucas Scott?"

"Yes," he'd pouted.

She'd rolled her eyes at him but at the same time had felt nicely protected- a tiny part of her loved seeing jealous Lucas in action.

They spent the evening dancing on chairs (Brooke stuck to dancing on the sofa where a soft landing was guaranteed and was careful not to over strain), laughing like lunatics and learning the Soldier Boy dance from Jayden and Jamie who were pros at it. Haley had put Grace to bed at seven and let her hair down for once. None of them touched the beers the boys were drinking. By half eleven Brooke was totally worn out but extremely excited for the New Year. It was going to be so different. They were going to be a family, she had friends, she was getting married, Jayden was settled, god all she needed now was an apron and she'd be set. But she didn't care how boring it all seemed- she was happy. She was less alone than she'd ever been in her life before and she was content with it- she didn't need to pretend she enjoyed her own company more than she actually did.

At quarter to midnight she heard the doorbell over the ruckus occurring in the lounge and stepped over several Calipso Suns as she moved to open the front door. She knew who it was before she got there and she was dreading the confrontation that would ensue. "Nathan-" she began softly.

"I didn't bother at Christmas, I didn't want to disturb you. But this is too much," he said hoarsely, his eyes desperate, "I can't start this year without my family Brooke." He looked like a wreck and was styling a messy beard that didn't suit him the way Luke's ocassional scruff suited him.

"You don't think maybe Haley would have called you if she felt the same?"

"Brooke?" Lucas appeared, his previously laughing face gone and his eyes defensive as he squared Nathan up.

"Luke man I didn't come here looking for trouble," Nathan began quickly.

"What it just magically follows you around? You're worse than Keller man."

"Lucas-" Brooke warned, "Nathan just- stay here ok?"

He nodded silently, still staring at his brother.

"Play nice," she whispered as she passed by her fiancée. He scowled but gave her a short nod.

"Hey girly- you ready for the count down?" Haley's face was alive with excitement and Brooke felt suddenly guilty for even doing this to her friend on New Year's Eve- but Nathan had been her friend once and- god maybe she shouldn't- she bit her tongue- "Brooke?"

"Hales..." She took a breath and then gabbled, "there's someone here to see you." Haley's expression immediately clouded over and she bit her lip, "and you can go and- talk to them if you want or, or Lucas can show off his really cool bouncer style moves he learnt from Owen and ensure this someone vacates the premises. It's up to you," she squeezed Haley's arm to reinforce the point and smiled softly, "we have your back no matter what ok?"

Haley nodded slowly and then glanced over to where her son was dancing on the pool table with Rachel and then sighed, "oh god I really don't wanna hurt Jamie anymore."

"It's about you too Hales- you do everything for your kids- they know that."

"No, it's time," she took a breath, "I guess the least I can do is see him right?"

"Right." Brooke reached out and took her friend's hand- suddenly cold- and smiled at her reassuringly, "I'm right here."

They padded out into the hall and Haley let go of Brooke's hand to step into the porch and inclined her head to her husband, "what is it Nathan?"

"I just want to talk to you Hales." He made to move forward and almost touch her arm and she jerked back.

She folded her arms, immediately defensive, "I have to get back inside."

"Just hear me out, please!"

For a moment they stared at one another and despite her anger and the terrible pain he had put her through, Haley couldn't help but feel a rush of love for the man in front of her. "Ok."

He looked almost surprised and then grateful and nervous all at the same time. He lifted his eyes to meet hers and took a breath, "I'm sorry Haley. So sorry. But enough is enough. You can't punish me forever. I made a mistake and god knows I wish I could take it back- wish I could shield you from the pain I've put you throw. But I can't change it. And I don't want us to start the year not being a family- we need to be together. I need you Haley James. And you need me too. I know you're still angry and you have every right to be, but please! Please," he said in a softer voice, "I can't live without you."

Brooke and Lucas were watching from a polite distance, sitting high up on the stairs. And after Nathan's last statement Lucas wrapped an arm around Brooke protectively, glad he wasn't the one fighting to win back her heart. He had lost her too many times- he couldn't even bear the thought of it ever happening again.

_Back in the arms of the one who loved you first._

Haley hesitated for a moment and then smiled at her husband shakily, "I guess you can come in and do the countdown with Jamie- he's really missed you... I've really missed you," she added quietly.

His face lit up and he smiled for what felt like the first time in weeks, "really? I can come in."

She hunched her shoulders up nervously, "I guess- for a while?"

He nodded quickly, "sure- whatever you need."

Together they made their way across the hall and seconds later a joyous shout of "daddy!" could be heard from the living room. Brooke exhaled hard and leant against Luke's shoulder, "wow I don't think I breathed the whole time that was going on."

He laughed and then frowned in concern, "babe that won't be at all good for the baby."

"Luke I was kidding!"

"So was I," he grinned, leaning in to kiss her.

"You're not funny," she murmured as he did so.

"Sure I am."

"Brooke!" They jerked apart and looked down to see Rachel standing with one hand on her hip and a seriously pissed off expression on her face.

"Yes?" Brooke asked timidly.

"Nathan?" She hissed, "_here_?"

"So glad you could tear yourself away from Owen's face to show off your observational skills," Lucas said drily, standing and helping Brooke up.

"Ha ha, look seriously," she lifted an eyebrow, "you sure Haley knows what she's doing? Do you?"

"Yes," Brooke said firmly, "it's time Rach- they should be a family."

"But-"

"Everyone screws up," she cut in suddenly, "and I'll be the first to admit I have and lord knows I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for second chances."

Lucas nodded, wise words from his pretty girl, "same."

For a second Rachel narrowed her eyes at them both then she scowled, "second chances?"

"Uh huh- kinda like the one Haley gave you remember?"

"Maybe..."

"See!"

_I'm just saying. Look, people make mistakes. But if they're willing to put the past behind them, then maybe we should too._

* * *

The boys had stared at Nathan with hostility until Lucas had let them know he was here for genuine reasons. And had grudgingly accepted his presence- even if they had pretended he wasn't there once they'd said brief hellos. Now they were all crowding into the lounge for the countdown.

"Ten!" Everyone was shouting, caught up in the excitement. Which was ridiculous really when she tought about it, seeing as the same thing happened at 12:01 every year- it became January 1st but Brooke didn't care.

"Nine!" Brooke met Haley's eyes to check she was ok and received a warm smile back.

"Eight!" Owen and Rachel had untangled from the depths of the sofa and were joining the crowd.

"Seven!" Brooke had a fleeting thought for her best friend, wondering where the blonde was and what she was doing- even when she was angry at her she knew deep down Peyton was like her sister- a bond that could never truly be broken no matter how much she wished it. She shook herself, no thinking about that right now.

"Six!" Speaking of bonds, she beamed up at Lucas, the one constant in her life. The man she wanted to spend every New Year with.

"Five!" Everyone was suddenly standing in front of the television, cameras flashing, streamers ready.

"Four!" Brooke pulled Lucas closer and ruffled her son's hair as he sat in his father's arms shouting at the top of his lungs.

"Three!" Rachel glanced over at her friend and they winked at one another before the redhead turned back to smiling widely at Owen.

"Two!" In the corner, like two kids at a dance Nathan and Haley stared at each other awkwardly, Jamie dancing in between them.

"One! _Happy New Year!"_

"Happy new year pretty girl," Lucas muttered in her ear over the shouting and then kissing her gently.

"Mom, mom! Happy new year!" Jayden leant out of Luke's arms to hug her tightly and she clung to him for a moment, feeling strangely weepy.

"Happy new year baby."

There were fireworks going off and they moved to the window to watch them. A hand snaked round Brooke's waist and she turned to see Haley smile at her and hug her quickly, "happy new year," she whispered, kissing her friend's cheek. "Here's hoping it's a good one right?"

"The best," Brooke responded, pulling her close, "I love you Haley James Scott."

"I love you too girly." She hadn't even flinched at the Scott Brooke had added.

She moved away to pick Jamie up and stood looking out of the window in a not uncomfortable silence with Nathan. He looked like he was considering placing a hand on the small of her back and Brooke watched with baited breath. He changed his mind however and settled on taking a step closer.

"What are you thinking?"

She glanced up and smiled at Lucas, "that if it's a girl I wanna call her Ava Haley."

His eyes were warm as he gazed at her steadily, "Haley?"

She nodded, "is that ok?"

"I think it's perfect. But what if it's a boy?"

"Something Haley-ish."

He laughed, "we can work on that."

"We have time," she said softly, stroking his arm.

"All the time in the world."

_The moment I met her I knew I was looking at my future._


	32. Broken Glass Broke My Dreaming

**Disclaimer: pretty clear i don't even own a diary that keeps me organized enough to remind me to upload a chapter let alone OTH. still, for tradition's sake, i don't own it.**

**A/N: this is. well. less cheery than chapters gone by, or at least the start and the end are, new chapter up v soon and i swear on Castiel i mean that this time! oh and apologies in advance for being an evil evil cliffhangery type person :D**

There was blood, too much blood. She felt woozy for a second and closed her eyes, clutching her stomach. _Breathe through the pain Brooke, just breathe through the pain_. She scrunched her face up tightly, trying to shut it out and then gasped in surprise at the fresh wave clawing at her insides. "Oh god-"

"It's ok Brooke- it's ok- you're gonna be ok-" the voice was far away and the hand that clutched her shoulder felt heavy, clumsy. She leant against the nearest tree as she felt her knees give way and pushed her hair back frantically, resisting the urge to be sick. "Brooke! Hey, what happened to yelling at me and cursing my existence?" The joke fell short as panic seeped into the voice, "Brooke..."

She realised she was on the floor and blinked, looking up at the shadowy figure- this wasn't right, "I'm not ready-" she said faintly, "I'm- Luke? I need-"

"Shhh it's ok, it's ok," a blanket was wrapped around her and she licked her lips weakly. Someone she recognised was shrieking down a cell and in the distance she could hear more shouting and confusion and was that smoke? Had there been a fire? Suddenly all clarity had gone out the window and she cursed.

"Rachel- tell Rachel I meant-" _what I said_, she wanted to add but right now words seemed to be too hard to form and she felt her eyes flutter as she wrestled to keep them open.

"Don't worry about anything else- seriously, just hold on till the paramedics check you out."

The voice was fading and she tried to sit up- tried to speak but her mouth felt dry and her words slurred, "Luke-" she closed her eyes suddenly feeling deeply weary. The pain increased and her eyes widened in surprise and then closed again, "so tired," she said softly, "just let me..."

"Brooke open your eyes!" She felt a rough pressure on her cheek and winced but couldn't open her eyes, "_Brooke_!"

It was better in the dark, the pain felt less even. And now all she had to do was slide down onto the ground and she'd feel much better. Silly really, to have tried to walk anywhere. This was much nicer, much more comfortable. Somewhere far away she could hear someone shouting her name desperately and she tried to say, "it's ok I'm just going to have a little sleep!" but the words didn't come out; instead she murmured something incomprehensible and slipped into oblivion.

"Brooke!"

* * *

_An hour and thirty two minutes earlier_

Three months. Three cursedly uncomfortable, rushed off her feet crazy busy months and all she bloody well had to show for it was a pile of papers and a store space that was filled with cardboard boxes. Miss Davis the overachiever was well and truly in the past these days.

"Brooke would you please sit down?" Millicent was looking at her with a weary and concerned look in her eyes, "if Luke finds out you're even still at work he'll skin me alive."

Brooke rolled her eyes, "I'm fine Mills- really. Besides I've only been here an hour. Luke's practically had me on bed rest," she added, trying to sound annoyed at his insistences but the affection came out way too loud and clear instead.

"Good," Millicent said lightly, "we get more done without you anyway."

"Ha ha," the older brunette narrowed her eyes, "remind me what I pay again?"

"Not nearly enough," Millicent sang out.

Brooke smiled at her affectionately and then scowled at the builder coming towards her now just _knowing_ he had bad news. She clutched her stomach to soothe her temper and managed to lift the corners of her mouth at him, "is there something wrong?"

"Can't do the beams today," he said gruffly.

She raised her eyebrows, "you said that yesterday- and the day before!"

He stared at her unapologetically, "yeah." The added _so?_ was implied and she gritted her teeth.

_Count to three Brooke, wouldn't do the baby any good growing up visiting his mom in prison for killing a man with a nail gun now would it?_ She exhaled slowly and then smiled, painfully, "ok- how about you guys finish up for today then?" _Before I kill you right here moron..._

"Sure," he said easily, completely unaffected by her exasperation.

Brooke resisted the urge to wrap her hands around his thick neck and smiled again, "see you tomorrow," she added with bite, "bright and early."

"Oh yeah," he clicked his fingers, "that reminds me- we'll none of us be in before eleven tomorrow- one of the lads is being baptised."

"One of the lads?" She echoed him in confusion. _With a nail gun, she was serious, right here, right now, he was as good as dead._

"Yeah," he nodded sincerely, "found jesus just last year."

"He did? How nice for him, could he give the rest of us an address?" She felt a warning elbow being nudged into her side from Millicent. The builder, Sam, she seemed to remember was his name, stared at her blankly, not catching the sarcasm.

"Brooke these are like the last crew in town that'll work for you and if they quit we'll have to bring in workers from New York!" She whispered hurriedly in Brooke's ear, "behave yourself!"

"Maybe it would be better if we did get workers from New York," Brooke hissed back, "they know how to get the job done in less than ninety days."

"But we're not in lovely and fast NYC Brooke, we're in a tiny crappy village with a shack for a town hall and a coffee place that closes at ten pm because _you_ wanted to move here remember?!"

For a second frustration burned into Millicent's eyes and Brooke suddenly felt awful for stressing her out like this. "Sorry," she said meekly.

Millicent shook her head, "don't apologise honey- we're both stressed and you're pregnant and the store's not ready and you-" she pointed at Sam, "you guys are absolutely useless!"

"Look lady-"

"It's Millicent! You've been working here two months, I give you your pay cheques _by hand_, how can you not know my name dumbass?!"

Brooke sniggered as Sam looked mortally wounded and then frowned, "m'sorry," he said finally. Being teamed up on by two scary and hormonal women was not on his list of comfortable experiences.

"Just please get the beams done tomorrow," she answered wearily.

Sam turned away without so much as an apology or a goodbye. Brooke moved to tear his hair out and Millicent caught her arm just in time, "Brooke! If I can't kill them you definitely can't."

"Ok fine," she growled, "but I swear if they don't do the beams tomorrow they're fired Mills and I can't promise a lack of bloodshed."

"Why don't I try and get something organised?" Millicent said soothingly, switching from angry New Yorker to amazing assistant in less than a second, "see if I can't rustle up a guarantee within the contract that they'll be ready by June at the latest?"

Brooke beamed at her, "would you Mills? That would be amazing," she gushed, wrapping her arms tightly round her friend, practically squashing Millicent.

"Yeah," Millicent choked out, "weren't the mood swings supposed to have passed by now?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Brooke pulled away looking hurt and blinked back tears, "why would you say something so mean Millie?"

Millicent rolled her eyes, two Scott babies later and she still wasn't one hundred percent adept at dealing with crazy hormonal Brooke. _Curse_ Lucas Scott for not having better behaved babies.

As if on cue Brooke's cell began to buzz and her face broke into a wide smile as she saw Lucas' name on the screen, "hey baby," she gushed. "How are you? Uh huh. Uh huh. Of _course_ I'm sitting down! How do you know that? You can't know how a person sounds when they're sitting down!" She blushed suddenly and looked at her feet, "I don't do that... I do not! No I swear it, I'm sitting right now- ask Mills-" She gestured to Millie who rolled her eyes and mouthed that there was no way in hell she was lying for Brooke- not when she'd spent the last hour trying and failing to get her to do exactly what Lucas was nagging her about; to sit, rest and breathe. "No I will. I promise. Purple dress why? Luke not here..." Millicent rolled her eyes grinning.

"Ok enough!" Rachel appeared from the back room in a shock of pink material and nothing else, "Brooke where the hell did you go?!"

Brooke's eyes widened rapidly and then a guilty expression formed across her face, "Luke I have to call you back," she breathed quickly, dropping her phone down, "Rach I'm so sorry! I completely forgot we were in the middle of trying-"

"Damn right you did!"

"I'm soo sorry Rach- god i'm such a klutz now i'm pregnant," Brooke sniffed and Rachel sighed, Brooke turning on the tears was _low_.

"You're not honey, you were always a klutz," the rib was gently and the annoyance was gone from Rachel's voice as she perched on the nearest sofa arm, hooking one leg over and letting one dangle over the side. "I did however manage to give about three different workmen heart attacks when they came in and found me practically butt naked back there."

Millicent snorted and moved round the counter to produce Rachel's clothes, "I'm sure none of them really minded." She chucked the clothes over to Rachel.

"Oh no, they didn't. One of them might have even got to first if I wasn't annoyingly attached to Owen," the red head replied easily, pulling a tee shirt over her head and sliding her jeans on at almost the same time.

"Expert at getting dressed quick I see," Millicent teased her lightly.

Rachel narrowed her eyes and flipped her the finger, "better to know how to dress and undress quickly than to forget how to altogether right Mills?"

"Evil!"

"It was a fair comment," Rachel retorted.

"You're right, maybe I should get back out there and sleep with Owen-" Millicent suggested innocently.

"Hmmm, you could try but he's way too into me to notice you- even if you were lying across his bar wearing nothing but a tee shirt saying 'I'm easy' on it."

"Aw- so sweet you'd let me borrow your clothes to hit on your boyfriend."

"He is _not_ my- I wouldn't lend you- shut up!" Rachel stammered round her words while her face turned bright red and she stared at the floor.

"Round eight million to Millicent, still zero in the Gattina corner," Millicent crowed.

"Congratulations, "Rachel snapped, "you've successfully pointed out that I have a boyfriend and you don't."

Millicent stuck her tongue out and before Rachel could respond in kind Brooke clapped her hands, "enough! God you two are worse than Hales and Lucas when they're fighting over the last chocolate chip cookie. The Jay's are better behaved than you!"

Rachel's eyes suddenly lit up as she ignored Brooke's admonishments, "ohh cookies!"

"Yes," Millicent beamed, "let's go eat cookies and get Rachel fat."

"Please- I'll never be fat, just like you'll never-"

"Girls!" Brooke interrupted again, "I'm seriously pregnant, on the verge of opening a store with no clothes in it and my main model and my assistant are bitching at each other like they're Tyra and Paulina, please stop!"

Suitably chastened both girls fell silent, murmuring their apologies and Brooke rolled her eyes affectionately, "thank you. Now, Rach, you said something about cookies?"

* * *

Twenty minutes later with Rachel in the back happily munching on a chocolate chip cookie and Millicent eating an oatmeal raisin one like it was the first thing she'd eaten in a week, Brooke drove down the high street and hummed along to the radio quietly. She loved this kind of moment- the peace between the storms where everyone was content; if only for a moment. She'd have to remember to buy cookies whenever she needed Mills and Rachel to do something for her.

"Alright," she pulled up outside the coffee shop on the edge of town, "lemme just go get a hot chocolate and then we'll go get J squared from school."

"I can't believe you have had to go _five and a half months_ without coffee," Rachel said incredulously as she jumped out of the car and jogged round to help Brooke out, "I'd die."

"Rachel!" Brooke's eyes filled with tears and she squeezed her friend's hand tightly, "don't talk about dying! You're not dying ever so shut up ok?"

Rachel stifled a giggle and tried to look apologetic, "sorry." Brooke nodded her forgiveness and turned to go inside, "but you know one day I will kind of-"

"Rach!"

"Alright jeez," she grinned, "who knew you were so attached to me preggers."

"I'm not," Brooke huffed, "it's these damn hormones."

"Oh so don't even _try_ and sugar coat it for me."

"Shut up and stop trying to get everyone to say they love you every five seconds," Millicent said grinning as she opened the door for Brooke who laughed loudly.

Rachel glowered at them both, "bitches."

"Whatever Rach-" the rest of Brooke's sentence died as across the cafe her eyes met Nathan's and she took in his company; a familiar blonde with her skinny back to them. "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

Nathan was up like a shot, "Brooke! It's really not what you-"

Before he could say another word Rachel had stepped forward and punched Nathan cleanly in the face, knocking him to the floor. There was a silence in the cafe as everyone stared up at them and then Rachel winced, "damn it always looks less painful when Owen does it."

"Son of a-" Nathan groaned beneath them.

"Brooke-" Peyton jumped up and moved towards them.

"You've got some damn nerve Sawyer," Rachel seethed, cutting in and stepping towards the blonde. "Who do you think you are?!"

Peyton's eyes were wide and almost haunted looking and instead of firing an insult back at Rachel she just stood dumbly staring at them before shrugging and shaking her head.

"I asked you-"

"Rach-" Brooke grabbed her friend's arm, "let's just get out of here ok?"

Rachel glowered at Peyton and then nudged Nathan with her foot, "I thought you were better than this Nathan, I really wanted you to be better than this," she said quietly before turning on her heel and marching out.

* * *

They were silent for a long time in the car. Brooke was absentmindedly making her way through town to head for Jay's school and Millicent was trying to call Haley. Rachel occasionally cursed under her breath, clutching her knuckles but apart from that the girls couldn't quite bring themselves to speak. Brooke didn't know what the hell to think. She'd almost forgotten Peyton might still live in Tree Hill and well, it wasn't Brooke's town to kick her out of but Nathan actually _seeing_ her again. _**Bastard**_.

Rachel flexed her hand and let out a moan, "christ i'm never doing that again."

For a minute she sat still and then suddenly groaned loudly and Brooke suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to giggle. The red head glared at her, "Brooke, what the hell?"

"I'm sorry," she said, attempting a straight face, "sorry."

There was another moment of silence before Rachel moaned again and this time Millicent sniggered from behind them. Rachel glared at her before turning back to look at her hand morosely.

"Oh mother of- god- uhhh"

Brooke bit her lip and refused to meet Millicent's eyes in the rear view mirror as Rachel practically writhed around in over exaggerated pain.

"God uhh nff-" this time Brooke just couldn't contain herself, almost shrieking in a sudden burst of laughter.

"What?! What?!"

"I'm sorry Rach it's just- well, you sound like a porn star over there," and then she was gone, laughing wildly again. Before Rachel could threaten her life Millicent suddenly joined in, howling with laughter.

"Damn Owen's got a right show on his hands with you Rach!"

"Guys shut up! I'm in freaking pain here!"

But Brooke couldn't stop laughing, she felt tears stream down her cheeks as she crinkled up her face smiling widely, "ohhh don't Mills, don't make me think that!"

"Stop it!" But Rachel was smiling reluctantly as the two practically rolled around laughing, "Brooke you're gonna kill us all if you don't look at the road sometime soon."

"Sorry," Brooke exhaled hard, "god sorry. That was mean, especially after you defended Haley's honour back there."

"Stupid asshole," Rachel muttered and she didn't need to clarify who she was talking about.

The hysterical laughter had helped but now Brooke was feeling worse than ever. Nathan had been so good, so attentive these last few months. He and Haley had even had dinner last week and she had tentatively mentioned maybe moving back home in the not too distant future. And now this?! What the hell was he doing having coffee with the one person he shouldn't ever be in the same bloody room as?! She stamped down on the tiny part of her that felt a fleeting concern for the fact her ex best friend had looked dreadful, too thin, too weary and just too, well, empty and concentrated on slowing her breathing. She flicked the radio on and decided wearily that today was the last day she'd be driving before the baby was born; it was far too much effort. Lucas could just carry her everywhere. That thought cheered her up immensely.

* * *

Wordlessly Rachel passed her the last cookie in the bag and Brooke smiled at her softly. They headed through the intersection on the other side of town as the lights turned green but before Brooke could bite into the cookie there was a deafening shriek from Millicent and she dropped the thing in surprise as she looked to her right and saw a truck bearing down on them, completely oblivious to the fact his own light was on red. She felt her breath hitch in shock and horror before scrunching her eyes up tightly and jamming on the brakes just to do _something_.

The truck took on the passenger side of the car and they swirled round and round before screeching to a halt as they hit the kerb and tipped precariously before settling back down on four wheels. Brooke felt like she'd been thrown into a washing machine and gasped for air, her eyes slowly coming back into focus. Her ears were ringing and the engine was hissing painfully. Glass was still raining in from the windows and there was a weird smell in the air. She touched her forehead weakly and winced as she saw blood. "Gross." She twisted to look at Rachel, "Rach? Mills?"

Millicent made a muffled noise and shifted forward, "ouchhhh." She looked pale and had a dark blood stain seeping down her arm but she tried to smile at Brooke reassuringly.

Rachel however was weirdly still. Brooke felt her heart flutter in her mouth as she reached out a shaky hand and shook Rachel's shoulder, "Rach," she croaked, "_Rachel_!"

She felt a wave of nausea before a hand reached through the broken glass window, "Brooke!"

"Nathan?" She was dizzy suddenly, her eyes blurring. Why was he here? Was he secretly a fireman on the side?

"You're ok Brooke, it's ok, come on, gotta get you out of here."

"No," she said thickly, "not going with you- Rachel!"

Millicent was being pulled out of the boot by a passerby and Brooke squinted at the clock above the mirror, "I need to go get Jay-" she realised, "someone needs to-.

"It's ok, we'll sort that. Jesus Brooke just please, we need to get you out of the car."

"Gerroff me!"

Nathan seemed to ignore her complaint as seconds later a strong pair of arms were lifting her smoothly from the car and placing her on the nearest sidewalk kerb. His blue eyes stared intently into her own and then he reached up to examine the cut above her eye. She glowered at him, "the hell were you thinking Nathan?"

He sighed, "it wasn't like that Brooke-"

"The hell it wasn't! Jesus Nathan what kind of father do you want to be?!"

"Haley knew I was there!" He blurted out angrily, "and it's none of your damn business anyway. Now shut up and let me put some pressure on this."

For a second she was silenced, comforted slightly by his words- she hoped to god they were true, and by his hands carefully assessing her cuts. "You don't look too bad you know Davis," he said softly. "But you definitely shouldn't be driving after today."

"I doubt Luke will ever let me drive again," she said quietly, giving him a glimmer of a smile, "is the other guy ok?"

Nathan avoided her eyes for a second and then said briefly, "I don't know; I didn't see him- I was trying to catch up with you guys- figured you'd be going to pick up the boys."

"I got myself me very own stalker," she said sleepily.

Nathan caught her chin, "hey hey Brooke you still with me?"

She pulled away from him suddenly, concern flooding through her, "Rachel?"

"Someone's getting her," he said carefully.

Brooke swallowed but before she could ask about his evasive tone she felt a twinge travelling up her back and breaking across her stomach. She felt the need to grab Nathan's arm as she gasped in pain and he pulled her closer, "Brooke?"

"It's ok, I'm ahh-" she stopped and stood up in surprise. Oh god oh god. She felt a bolt of terror run up her spine as she noticed her legs were shaking and oh shit. There was blood. _Too much blood. _

**Ahhh please don't hate me!**


	33. If You Leave I'll Be Nothing But A Ghost

**A/N: You guys all rock with the reviews i though i'd say- all of you are so supportive so thank you :) i had major issues with this chapter- i try and research the medical stuff as best i can but sometimes it's not that easy so do please forgive if it doesn't make sense- i tried really hard to make it so lol.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the crazy ideas for my stories that come to me when I should be studying the Russian Revolution or writing presentation reports... **

_I saw you slipping away and... I guess I panicked._

Lucas pushed through the doors of the hospital frantically, knocking into people and mumbling irritated apologies as he went. Goddammit didn't they get it? this was an _emergency_. He made his way to the reception area and glanced around. He needed somebody, anybody to tell him where to go, what to do. What did he do? Who did he talk to? Brooke was the one who was good in a crisis and oh god the last thing he'd ever said to her was some damn stupid comment about needing her rest. He'd not told her he loved her- that she had made his life complete. Someone bumped into him and he stumbled slightly, choking on angry words, "sorry." He made his way to the desk and with eyes wide in panic he gave Brooke's name.

A nurse directed him up two floors and he took the stairs three at a time. He glanced up and down the corridor trying to work out what the hell all the shortened words meant-

"Luke!"

It was Nathan shouting him, jumping up from where he'd been sitting with his head in his hands and Lucas twisted round, narrowing his eyes angrily. In two seconds flat had his brother up against the wall, his elbow digging into Nathan's chest, "the hell are you doing here Nathan?"

"Luke I-" he thumped Nathan's head against the wall hard, ignoring his shocked expression and snarled at him.

"Every time, _every_ time we get our lives together you somehow find a new way to screw us over Nathan," he spat out, tightening his grip on the front of Nathan's shirt. "Can't you just find a cave and stay there?" It was all he could do to resist the urge to smack his head right through the wall or maybe just punch the wall himself- anything to stop himself thinking about Brooke in pain. Brooke _dying_. Alone and without him. Oh god. He blinked hard and got further into Nathan's personal space, "you got any sort of explanation you complete ass-"

"Lucas, stop!" He turned in surprise and frowned as his best friend came over looking exhausted.

For a second he ignored her, "I'm not finished talking to my little brother just yet Haley-"

"Let go of me Lucas, Brooke-"

"Don't even say her name you damn-"

"Enough!" Haley stepped between them and gently but firmly pushed Lucas off her husband, "Luke, Nathan was the one who pulled Brooke from the car- not the one who caused the crash. He's here because I asked him to stay."

"You- she- I came as quickly as I could," he felt weak with guilt that somehow he hadn't known this was going to happen and wrapped Brooke in cotton wool. Why hadn't he kept her close? away from screwed up younger brothers and drivers who had no idea what a stop sign meant. He felt nauseous at the idea of his pretty girl being pulled out of some twisted up car and swallowed hard, barely registering that Haley had admitted to having chosen to keep Nathan around. "Is she- I mean, is she ok? What's the latest?"

There was a beat of hesitation and had he not known his best friend any better he would have missed the flash in her eyes that warned him she was about to lie. Haley could _never_ lie. It was like her puppy dog brown eyes wanted you to know she wasn't telling the truth and ever since they were about eleven Lucas had always been able to see right through them and make her spill the truth about it being her who had stolen the last cookie his mom had promised he could have. Except now it wasn't about cookies and he needed Haley to look him in the eyes and tell him the goddamn truth. He didn't want to hear a doctor tell him anything in cold and clinical terms, he needed to hear the news from a voice that cared about him.

"Don't lie to me Hales-" he said almost desperately.

"I don't know Lucas," she said honestly. "We've been talking to the doctors and they said she's got some internal bleeding and really high blood pressure from the pre-eclampsia and obviously they're not mixing well."

"Internal bleeding? Pre-eclmpsia?" his voice cracked and he felt himself sway on the spot. "What about the baby?"

Haley shook her head, biting her lip, "they're not saying much. They think something's been building up for a while and that maybe the crash just aggravated it."

"But she's been really good- stayed really calm," he said plaintively, "she's barely been to work."

"I know Luke." There was a silence and she rubbed his arm soothingly before saying quietly, "I got Skillz to pick the boys up from school."

He gave her a faint smile," thanks Hales." Thank god Jayden wasn't here and witnessing all of this.

"Mr Scott?" A nurse called his name before Haley had the chance to reply and he jumped at the intrusion.

"Yes?"

"I'm Nurse Austen, would you mind coming with me please?" her voice was soft and she smiled at him, holding out her arm, but he couldn't move, he just couldn't- "Sir?"

"I can't," he whispered, "I can't go. I need to know- is Brooke- is she alive?"

The nurse glanced at her files and Lucas wanted to yell at her to look at him and not at some dumb piece of paper. He felt Haley slip her hand into his and drew comfort from it as the nurse took a step towards him. "Miss Davis is alive, she lost a lot of blood and the baby is in considerable distress. We're hoping to delay any surgery that might risk the baby's health further but for the moment they're holding on. We're still waiting on her emergency contact to arrive but-"

He started, "wait a second- I'm not her emergency contact? But I- I'm her fiancée."

"I see."

She looked awkward and he felt frustration bubble up, "look what's the problem here?"

"Well the name listed here to be contacted in an emergency is a Miss Peyton Sawyer. She's on her way."

Lucas stared at her incredulously and felt Haley's hand tighten in his. The nurse gave him a quick smile and then said, "shall we?"

He nodded mutely and then followed her down the corridor unseeingly with Haley at his side.

"Ah Mr Scott," a tall doctor with dark hair and pensive eyes reached out to shake his hand, "I'm Dr Shepherd."

"Hey," he said weakly. "Where's Brooke?"

"She's sustained some damage from the accident but I'm more concerned about the pre-eclampsia causing problems for Brooke at this stage of her pregnancy."

"But she was clear at the twenty week scan."

Dr Shepherd pulled an apologetic face, "sometimes these things happen over night. Mr Scott we need to-"

"Jack," Nurse Austen interrupted him in a low voice and he bent his head to listen to her. He nodded and then smiled quickly at her, touching her arm and confirming something before turning back to Lucas.

"Mr Scott, I believe Miss Sawyer is here. Shall we?"

Lucas turned to Haley, "you don't have to come..."

"No it's ok- this is Brooke Luke, nothing is bigger than this."

He smiled at her gratefully, "thanks Hales."

* * *

"So we do the procedure now and-"

"Absolutely not," Lucas snarled angrily from across the corridor.

"Lucas-"

"No!" It was half an hour later and Lucas felt worse than ever. Dr Shepherd needed to operate but the surgery came with risks both for Brooke and for the baby. And Lucas desperately wanted to hold off. He needed time to think, time to comprehend everything, time to stop and breathe.

Peyton had her arms crossed defensively, protecting herself and he felt more than a little surprised when Haley moved to her side of the wall and not his. His best friend began to speak, "Luke- Brooke would want this. She'd want to fight."

"No."

"Lucas-"

"No! She might not be it on paper but that is my _wife_ in there- my partner- she's everything and I'm not going to let you all do this! What are you doing Peyton, trying to kill her?!"

"Mr Scott surgeries like this are more than eighty per cent successful-" Dr Shepherd said quietly.

"And what about the other twenty per cent?" he snapped back. "What happens to those patients?"

"Sir-"

"Please, can't we wait?" he heard his voice tremor and looked up at the doctor desperately, "isn't there anything you can do?"

"I'm sorry Mr Scott, this really can't wait..."

Peyton began to speak, "Luke, Brooke would want to fight to keep the baby, _your_ baby."

"You don't know what she'd want Peyton- you're not her best friend anymore remember?" His eyes fell accusingly on Haley whose own eyes widened in hurt and surprise but he didn't care, what was she doing taking Peyton's side in this?!

Peyton ignored his anger however and took a step forward. They were in a cramped corridor and up close he could almost feel her frazzled nerves and fury building up. "I've been her best friend for over fifteen years Lucas. I've been her best friend since she was hold enough to wrap a white shawl up in a bundle and rock it backwards and forwards and pretend she was looking after a baby because that's all she ever wanted in the world. _A family_. Now you're lucky enough to have experienced that with her already and dammit maybe I was stupid enough to throw it all away once but I'm here now. I'm here and you're here and you have got to let go of whatever resentment you feel towards me right now and focus on making sure we can reach some sort of agreement about Brooke. _Brooke_ is what matters here and she trusted me once and she chose to put my name on that form because she knew I would always do the right thing by her whether or not we were still best friends or hadn't spoken in twenty years. I still know her better than anyone. She's my best friend. And I'm _not_ trying to kill her," at this her eyes narrowed and he saw the pain that he could even accuse her of something like that rush through them before she switched back to a more neutral expression, "I don't want to put in her in anymore danger."

She took another step towards him and he found he had to lean against the wall behind them to steady himself. "You think I like this Lucas? You don't think I would rather it was you making this decision?! If she- if something happens to her I not only lose my best friend and any chance I have of ever fixing our friendship but I also get to be responsible for that! Now get over yourself and face it. Brooke would want to fight to keep this baby and you know it. You have to brave for her and you have to know that deep down she'll be ok. Trust Brooke to get through this."

It was the most he'd heard Peyton speak. _Ever_. And he was momentarily mute. He knew Brooke would want him to agree to fight to keep the baby safe but if something went wrong...

Haley nodded her agreement vehemently at Peyton's words and rubbed Lucas' shoulder encouragingly, "Luke- it's gonna be ok."

_What I wanted? I wanted you to fight for me. _

He closed his eyes and wished he was he was a million miles away on a beach somewhere with a decent book and Brooke asleep on his chest. Not unconscious in the room down the hall, waiting for them all to make a decision about her life. Her _life_ for god's sake. He was suddenly irrationally angry at her for having made him this worried and upset. Then he swallowed and shook his head, he really wasn't all that angry. He was just absolutely terrified that if something did happen and Brooke... god then he really wouldn't ever be the same again.

Finally he nodded wordlessly, not daring to speak and Haley exhaled hard, watching his face, "ok," she said softly, "so we do it."

Dr Shepherd nodded briefly, "I'll try and give you an update as soon as possible. Kate," he turned to the nurse beside him who looked up at him, "can you prep Miss Davis for me please?" He rubbed his face wearily, "I'll be along in a moment."

"Of course Dr Shepherd." Lucas watched the nurse disappear into the room where Brooke was and swallowed hard.

"Can I- am I allowed to see her?"

There was a pause as the doctor considered him and glanced at Brooke's chart before he nodded again, "you can have a moment- but no more Mr Scott, we really have to get the procedure done as soon as possible."

Lucas followed Dr Shepherd into the hospital room and winced as he took in Brooke's pale skin. She was breathing rapidly and there were tubes everywhere. "God," he croaked, "how did this happen? I don't even-"

"Things progress much more quickly when it's internal," Dr Shepherd said softly, "it wouldn't have been the crash itself but the impact- if we're lucky her spleen won't be too badly damaged and we can keep bleeding to a minimum-"

"And if you're not? I mean if you're not lucky..."

"Mr Scott I won't pretend that things aren't bad but your fiancée is more than holding her own at the moment. Things could be a lot worse."

Lucas stared at the tubes trailing in and out of Brooke and wondered how on _earth_ things could be worse. Slowly he reached out and took Brooke's hand. "Hey baby," he said softly, trying not to let his voice give way as he spoke. "It's me. Want you to know that the doctors- they're gonna do everything they can and you gotta-" he dropped his voice to a whisper, "Brooke you gotta fight for me ok? I know you're probably scared outta your mind; hell I know I am...But I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere so you gotta do the same ok? You can't go anywhere. Please Brooke..."

Dr Shepherd had taken a discreet step back and now stepped forward again, "Mr Scott?"

"Yeah one second," he muttered, still staring at Brooke's face, willing her to open her eyes and laugh hysterically shouting April fools or something equally absurd. But her eyes stayed tightly shut and he swallowed, "I love you, you hear me pretty girl? Just please don't do anything stupid on me alright?" He kissed her hand briefly and then let go, tearing his eyes away as Kate and another nurse began to wheel Brooke's bed away.

Dr Shepherd shot him a sympathetic smile and Lucas wondered how many stressed out partners and mothers and fathers he'd given the same smile to. Wondered if he had any idea how much pressure was on his back right now. He flicked through a chart and then looked at Lucas again, "we'll keep you posted." Lucas could only nod shortly and backed into the corridor where Haley and Nathan were waiting. He sat down heavily in the nearest chair.

"Now what do I do?"

* * *

He sat, mostly in silence, next to Haley for the next five and a half hours. Nathan disappeared at midnight to go and collect Gracie from the babysitter but came back twenty minutes later saying she was happy to stay and he really didn't want to leave. Lucas had felt a weird sensation of actually being _glad_ his brother was staying but couldn't deal with actual words so merely nodded and closed his eyes again.

He was going over every single memory he could think of that involved the two of them. He was aware that some people might have thought this was morbid but he didn't care. He needed to think about her and only her and to make sure he didn't forget anything. Their first meeting in his car, their first date, their first kiss, first time, first I love you, first trip together, first dance, everything he could think of. The time she'd made him laugh so hard he'd fallen off the bed with her confession that she was really sorry but that she thought The Great Gatsby was awfully overrated. Or the time he'd kissed her on the beach until the tide had come in- that was only months ago and already it felt like a memory slipping away and he was panicking. He wasn't anywhere near ready to let her go and to never be able to make any new memories. He couldn't even remember what life had been like before those hazel eyes and dark swishing hair.

"Mr Scott?" A different nurse in blue scrubs smiled at him and he jumped to his feet. "I'm Nurse Lockhart."

"Hey," he rubbed his eyes wearily, "is there any news?"

"They're still in surgery but Dr Shepherd requested I give you an update." It seemed Dr Shepherd _did_ know how to deal with stressed out partners and Lucas felt mildly relieved Brooke was in the hands of a doctor that actually bothered to keep to his word. "We have had a few problems regarding the pre-eclampsia but the liver and kidneys are holding up well and we've been able to stave off any major haemorrhaging."

Lucas felt faint just listening to words like kidneys and haemorrhaging but managed to swallow and focus, "and what now?"

"Now we're trying to make sure her blood pressure remains stable and we should know soon how willing her body is to keep the baby."

He stared at her with wide eyes, "willing?"

"In most cases the body's natural reaction is to fight any external danger to the foetus," she said gently. "Brooke and her baby should be fine. The odds are very much in their favour."

"But-"

"Abby," the nurse from earlier, Kate, appeared with her mask still on and Lucas grimaced at the sight of blood on her scrub top, "Abby we need you back in here!"

"I'm sorry," Abby turned back to him, "I'll try and update you again soon."

"Wait- is there a problem?"

"No Mr Scott- we just have to keep things running smoothly, excuse me."

He pulled an apologetic face, "right yeah- I'm sorry." She gave him a quick smile before turning and jogging down the corridor and back into the OR.

Lucas sat back down next to Haley who was dozing and squeezed his eyes shut. He was never letting her out of his sight again.

_To remind myself, I ever get a second chance, I'd never let you go again._

"Mr Scott?" Dr Shepherd was leaning over him and touching his shoulder carefully.

Lucas' eyes widened and he jumped up, "uh yeah god yes?"

"The surgery is complete-"

"And Brooke's alive?"

"Yes, Mr Scott-"

"What about the baby?"

"For now everyone is stable and we're hoping to keep it that way," the doctor said firmly. "We'll be keeping a close eye on her for the next few days and after that there'll be a tough road ahead. Miss Davis certainly won't be leaving the hospital anytime soon."

Lucas was barely listening, "but she's ok? I mean, she's gonna stay ok?"

"I hope so," Dr Shepherd said smiling wearily, "would you like to see her?"

"Yes, god yes please- just one second-" he bent down to touch Nathan's arm, "Nate?"

"Uh-" his brother's eyes opened slowly and then focused on him, "Luke what's wrong?"

"Nothing man things are ok- I'm just gonna go with the doctor and see Brooke ok? Tell Hales for me when she wakes up?"

"Sure, you uh- you don't want us to come?"

"No, thanks, let Hales get her sleep."

Nathan nodded and then opened his mouth to say something and then seemed to think better of it. He nodded again and then sat back in his chair, "give Brooke our love ok?"

"Yeah I will, hey Nate?"

"Mm?"

"Thanks," he felt absurdly awkward saying it but he knew it had been Nathan's quick reactions that had gotten Brooke to the hospital so quickly.

Nathan met his eyes for a second and then smiled softly, "she's my family too Luke."

"I know. I know." He backed down the corridor to meet with Dr Shepherd and practically bounded into the room where Brooke was sleeping. To wait until she was ready to stop scaring the hell out of him.

* * *

Brooke opened her eyes and felt the darkened room swim before her eyes. She huffed out a weak cough and tried to sit up and heard a start from further down the bed. Lucas' head shot up, his sleepy eyes flashing alert and he pulled himself up the bed, "Brooke?"

She smiled faintly, feeling her lips crack, "Luke," she whispered.

"Oh god Brooke," he rested his forehead against hers briefly. "I thought you were gonna leave me here," his voice cracked and she felt him squeeze his eyes shut, his breath ghost across her cheek.

"Nah, thought I'd stick around," she said softly.

He made a noise that sounded almost like a laugh, "make your mind up a little sooner next time please." He kissed her temple and then ran a hand across her face, "how you feeling?"

"Mmm, groggy," she tensed suddenly, "the baby?"

"You're ok- we're all ok," he said quickly. "But uh-"

"What? What?"

He grinned down at her, "you're definitely on bed rest from now on."

"No way!" She fluttered her eyelids sleepily, "not staying here- I got builders to boss around."

"I think Millicent can handle that for a while."

"Mills? She's ok? What about Rach?"

"Millicent's fine- broken collarbone but she's ok. She's been worried about you."

"What about Jay?"

"He's been staying with Skillz- he's ok. I don't think he really knows what's going on- thank god."

"How long was I out for?"

"Two days," Lucas' voice sounded exhausted and she winced.

"I'm really sorry Luke- I didn't... I didn't see him-"

"Hey shush now babe it wasn't your fault, none of this was your fault, trust me. You've got nothing to be sorry about ok?" He stroked her hair gently, "you're ok, that's all that matters to me ok?"

"Ok," she was drifiting back to sleep again with Lucas' warm arms around her and she breathed in heavily, "love you," she murmured.

"And I love you Brooke. More than anything."

She had more questions but she could feel sleep over taking again and so contented herself to lean against Luke's chest and listen to his steady heartbeat, letting sleep wash over her once more.

**So i realise the ending was pretty abrupt but this was kind of long already and everybody else's reunions can wait cos i just wanted a little BL interaction before everything else. i'm hesitant about this chapter as it's almost entirely from Luke's POV but i hope it works... **


	34. The Dysfunctional Scotts

**Disclaimer: do I even want to own OTH anymore? I would maybe put some money down in an attempt to own S4 or S4 but no, definitely not S7. Boo for all characters that aren't in S3. Seriously. I miss Chris Keller.**

**A/N: I am really, really sorry this took so long, my brain is slowly turning to mush over 18****th**** century history essays and Russian constructivism- the next chapter will definitely not take so long, I hope!**

When Brooke opened her eyes there was sunlight streaming in through the window and she felt like her head was made of cotton wool. She winced and attempted to focus her blurry vision. It had been six days and slowly Brooke could feel all her muscles and bones -which included bruises unfortunately- waking up once more. She was surprised to see Peyton asleep at the end of her bed and let out a strangled noise before she could stop herself. Peyton's head jerked up and she immediately darted forward and then seemed to stop herself and settled on hovering beside Brooke's shoulders, "Brooke?"

"P Sawyer," she said weakly, "you the angel of death?" Peyton chuckled softly and Brooke saw the terror and panic almost hidden in her eyes and frowned, "seriously, am I dead?"

"No- you scared the hell out of us all though." Peyton edged slightly closer and Brooke noticed just how fragile she looked.

"You don't look so good," she said thickly.

Peyton shrugged, a small smile tugging at her lips, "neither do you."

Brooke snorted, "I got hit by a truck, what's your excuse?"

There was a silence as they gazed at one another and Brooke found she wanted to say lots of things but couldn't form the words. Instead Peyton cleared her throat and reached for the water jug beside the bed, "you want a drink?"

"Yeah," she attempted to sit up and clutched at her stomach instinctively, "ouch."

Peyton was touching her arm a second later, eyes panicking again, "Brooke you ok?"

"Uh I think so- is- I am still pregnant right?" She knew she kept asking but every time she went to sleep she was terrified the next time she woke something awful would have happened.

"Yes. You're ok," the words put her at ease immediately and then she glanced at Peyton's hand resting gently on her arm. As if she had just noticed it too Peyton snatched it back and moved to sit back down on the chair behind them, not quite meeting Brooke's eyes again.

"Rachel?"

Peyton dragged her eyes up slowly, "still no change."

"Oh god," Brooke sat back against the pillow and closed her eyes. Rachel had been a comatose state for a week and she was beginning to scare Brooke. Why, why had she even joked about not ever being around?! Brooke needed her. She didn't say it enough but she _did_. She needed Rachel with all her no nonsense, fast talking and heart of gold hidden underneath major claws. She needed her like she needed Peyton. And it was totally unreasonable of Rachel to threaten to take it away from her.

"She'll be ok," Peyton said softly, interrupting Brooke's thoughts. "She's always been a fighter."

Brooke nodded, "I know," she said quietly, "but I'm still worried."

"I know Brooke." There had been a time when Rachel and Peyton had been close and Brooke knew Peyton must be feeling a whole mix of guilt and concern of her own.

She swallowed slowly as she watched the blonde. Peyton was fidgety and uncomfortable but she hadn't left the room and Brooke knew that was a classic P Sawyer sign for needing to talk but not wanting to.

For a second Brooke let silence drift between them and then curiosity got the better of her, "why are you still here Peyton?" It wasn't meant to be a mean question but she needed to know Peyton was going to be sticking around before she started getting attached again, or confiding any more of her worries about Rachel or the baby or anything for that matter.

The question seemed to startle her and Peyton's eyes widened a little before she looked down at the floor, wrapping her legs around the chair, "I just wanted to make sure you were gonna be ok- I can go though-"

"No don't. We should-" Brooke felt tired even thinking about the mammoth conversations she knew they needed to have but she wanted them done. She wanted to fix everything and go back to being happy and not incomplete and not feeling the weird nagging in her stomach every time she thought about her best friend, like she _missed_ her. "We should talk," she said finally.

Peyton nodded slowly, "ok. You wanna start? You can probably get free two minutes of yelling done before I even think about shouting back. You know- being the invalid and all," she licked her lips nervously and Brooke recognised the attempt at a joke with a faint smile.

"I don't wanna yell."

"That's good," Peyton closed her eyes briefly, "I couldn't face it right now anyway."

"You do deserve it," Brooke chided. Without any real conviction this time however, too much had happened, too many months had passed for it to come out as angry as it should have done. And too many people had been hurt in so many ways. They _needed_ to sort through all this and get past it. It was the first time Peyton and she had been in the same room together, alone, in a long time and Brooke needed to know what was going on. They all needed it. Ironic for the person who once thought she didn't need anybody. Now she couldn't function without her little group of people.

"I know deserve it Brooke," Peyton's eyes were dull as she looked up at her, "I know."

"Why were you with Nathan the other day then? You must have known things wouldn't- you know, end well."

"My dad died," Peyton replied shortly.

Brooke's mouth fell open, "oh... Oh god Peyton I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, thanks..." Peyton was silent for a second and then she closed her eyes as she began to talk, "it was a heart attack. And it was weird you know? I always thought I'd be older, wiser... maybe. Anyway, I thought I'd at least be _ready_, you know? But it happened. And- and I was there." She stared at her hands for a second before smiling faintly, "thank god for small mercies right? I got to be with him at least."

"When did it happen?" Brooke asked softly.

"Right after New Year. I'd been living... elsewhere . And after, you know, everything- I couldn't face coming home. I didn't know who to talk to." She gave a brief smile that failed to light up her face, "I didn't really have anyone. So... I called Nathan. Believe it or not Brooke but we really _were_ friends before and I- I needed him. I know that's selfish but, I kind of had to be. He came with me to the house and helped me pack it up. I- I sold it a few weeks back so I had to clear it all out. It was... really hard." She wiped her face almost angrily, still looking anywhere but at Brooke.

Brooke felt a lump grow in her throat, she knew Peyton had loved that place; loved her room. Brooke had a lot of good memories of that place.

Peyton gave her a tired smile finally and continued, "anyway, I was saying goodbye- to Nathan that is. That's all it was. Haley knew about it actually- she was gonna come but... I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, didn't want to put her through that."

"She's not mad at you anymore," Brooke said quietly. "I think she wants to be but you two- you're like peas in a freaking pod sometimes and she just can't hate you."

"She has every right to," Peyton said quietly. "She has every right to hate me forever. So do you..." She bit her lip and looked at up at Brooke with the puppy dog eyes Jayden had literally _stolen_ from his godmother's face and now used constantly on his mother. She should really be immune by now considering Lucas also has a similar look. But she's not. God she's a sucker for it in fact.

"We've all been through so much Peyton," she began, "it's time to just- work past it."

"Why? You said yourself you're all better off without me."

"Peyton," Brooke sighed exasperatedly, "enough ok? God P Sawyer I got hit by a damn truck a week ago! And Rach is still not conscious enough to be pissed that she's missing out on an adorable worrying boyfriend _and_ a cute doctor. And your dad _died_ Peyton- and- and you're still my best friend even when I am _so_ disappointed and pissed at you. You are _still_ my best friend. And I need you around ok? I need you to stop being crappy Peyton who sleeps with the wrong people and be the Peyton who helped me when I was practically dying of morning sickness when I was pregnant with Jay. Or even when I was actually maybe really dying! You stood up and did the right thing- Lucas told me."

She took a breath and the continued, "so you screwed up; but I've done it too. Lucas has done it, Nathan, Haley, Rach- hell everyone we know has. But we've all had second chances and you shouldn't miss out on that- you should get that too. Maybe everything won't be perfect for a while, maybe longer, but we should be together. We should _all_ be a family and you know just as well as I do that no family is perfect. We're all gonna do stupid things and god, you've _hurt_ me Peyton, but I know you've been hurt too. And- and maybe for a while it's going to be tough for us all but... we should all stop running! So... d'you think you could stop dragging your tail between your legs and just go back to being Peyton?"

Peyton looked first like she'd been slapped in the face and then like she was seconds away from bursting into laughter. Finally she managed to settle on a faint smile, "ok. I can do that."

"Thank god," Brooke sat back and let out a deep sigh, "now I'm exhausted!"

Peyton chuckled faintly and reached up to squeeze Brooke's hand momentarily. "I missed you Brooke."

"I know honey," she squeezed back, "I missed you too."

Eventually Peyton cleared her throat and stood, "I'm gonna go get some coffee and tell Luke you're awake."

"Oh man I miss coffee!" Brooke scowled and then said suddenly, "hey Peyton-"

The blonde twirled at the door and tilted her head, "yeah?"

She fiddled with the cast on her wrist and then looked up slowly with a smile, "I just wanted to say thanks- what I said earlier about you fighting for me? Thank you."

Peyton smirked, "you're getting soft in your old age B Davis."

"I know, but I mean it anyway."

"Yeah," Peyton smiled faintly, "I know and you're welcome. You're still my best friend too Brooke."

It wasn't perfect, they still had battles ahead, but it was a start. Brooke felt better already.

* * *

Later in the day Brooke had her head resting against Luke's comfortable pillow of a shoulder when Jayden arrived with his uncle. "Mom!!" He made to fly across to her but Lucas caught his arm quickly.

"Hey hey buddy remember what I said yesterday? No jumping on mom!"

"Oh Luke don't worry so much," Brooke held out her hands, "hey baby!"

Jayden clambered up onto the bed and then edged carefully closer to wrap his small arms around her neck, "I was really worried about you Momma."

"I know sweetie, I'm sorry. I missed you though," she leant back to push his hair back from his face, searching his eyes, "you ok?"

"Uh huh- me and Jamie went to the park with Uncle Nathan."

"Yeah? You have fun?"

"Yeah- but you should have come too," he said plaintively.

"Oh I'll try to next time, I promise!"

Brooke met Nathan's eyes over her son's head and smiled tightly, "he been ok?"

Nathan nodded, "he's been great."

"Thank you," she said softly, "for taking care of him- I know you and Haley are... still fragile and I can't imagine what an extra monster is doing to your stress levels."

Nathan laughed suddenly- a smile lighting up his face making him look five years younger, "no it's not bad at all. Jamie really loves the company and well- so do we."

"Still," sh said softly, "I mean it- I'm really grateful."

"It's no problem," he said firmly.

"I'll be home at the weekend," Lucas jumped in.

"Yeah," Brooke chuckled, "the nurses are finally getting sick of him hovering around all the time."

Nathan snorted, "I'd have chucked him out on day two."

"Yeah but that's cos you've got no stamina," Lucas teased. Both Brooke and Nathan looked at him in surprise and he blinked, "what?"

"Nothing," Brooke said quickly, her eyes glittering with amusement. "Hey Jay, you wanna check out the sketch book your Aunty Peyton left?"

"Yes please!"

"It's in the bag at the end of the bed." Jayden clambered off the bed, taking the bag with him and settled onto the sofa in the corner of the room to examine the contents of said bag.

"So Peyton was here?" Nathan suddenly looked nervous and like he was afraid Lucas might punch him again.

"Yeah, we had a talk," Brooke explained, "she's gonna stay here for a while."

Nathan blinked in surprise, "what do you mean stay?"

"As in she's not going anywhere... _durr_."

"Brooke-"

"Nate it's ok."

"But Haley-"

"I already talked to Hales about it and she agrees with me. We're like a family Nate; _all_ of us. Maybe we're a screwed up and seriously dysfunctional family but I don't care. We grew up together and we've messed up and hurt one another but that doesn't mean we can't forgive and heal each other as well. Who decided we all had to do that bit alone? Because I did it for nearly six years and I hated it. And I don't want Peyton or Haley or you or even our kids to ever be alone and have to deal with crap alone. Ok?"

There was a silence and then Nathan shook his head and grinned at her, "you get a lobotomy on that operating table or something Davis?"

She pouted, "no, I'm just sick of everyone being angry! Luke tell him!"

"What _is_ going on in here?" Dr Shepherd appeared behind the brother's and smiled warmly before giving Brooke a reproving look, "it doesn't sound like you're keeping your blood pressure down Miss Davis."

"Sorry Doctor Shepherd," she said meekly, suddenly wishing she'd brushed her hair this morning as he came over to examine one of the cuts on her head. God he was so gorgeous and he smelt so nice, was that Hugo Boss? And his hands-

Over by the door Lucas cleared his throat and Brooke opened her eyes- she hadn't realised she'd closed them and gave him a sheepish look. Nathan was smirking and Lucas scowled and elbowed him. Dr Shepherd missed the whole exchange as he pulled on his stethoscope.

"Would you mind leaning forward please Brooke?" She obliged and shivered at the cold metal touching her back, "how has your breathing been?"

"Ok- a bit laboured at night."

He frowned and then nodded, "well, some of that's to be expected. What about the baby- are you doing your counts?"

"Yeah," she smiled brightly, "it's amazing, they're all up."

"Good," he smiled at her widely and she almost swooned. Behind them Lucas snorted with laughter. Brooke tried to silence him with a glare- he ignored her.

The nurse Kate appeared and Brooke inwardly scowled; she had guessed almost before she was fully conscious that there was something going on between her handsome doctor and the pretty freckled nurse and Brooke wished she could hate her for it. Unfortunately Kate was extremely nice and didn't even flirt with Lucas- which would have made it easy for Brooke to want to pull her hair out. And of course Brooke had Lucas so she didn't even mind that her doctor was taken. And she definitely didn't get jealous. Or flirt with Dr Shepherd. Almost ever.

As if reading her thoughts Lucas shot her a smirk and she stuck her tongue out in response.

"Alright Brooke," Dr Shepherd had been talking to Kate about some results in a low voice and he sat down on the edge of the bed, his hands folded in front of him, "I want to keep you here for another week but then I think, depending on whether or not you promise to stay on bed rest," he raised an eyebrow, his eyes twinkling at her, "then I think you can go home."

She nodded, trying not to get distracted by his gorgeous dark eyes and him using phrases like 'I want to keep you here' and 'bed rest' and- oh god pregnancy made her think _dirrrty_ things. She shook herself and then realised what he'd said, "wait- you think I can go home?"

Dr Shepherd smiled at her winningly, "yes I think so."

"Oh thank god!" She beamed and resisted the urge to throw her arms around his neck- she was a respectable mother after all...

* * *

At dinner time Haley dropped by with April's Vanity Fair and an update of how Grace was beginning to hold her own head up and even smile. Brooke wished she could see it.

"So... I talked to Peyton," she said after a few minutes of admiring the front cover- James Franco really was an attractive man...

Haley looked up and raised an eyebrow, "oh yeah? She uh- she staying?"

"Yeah for now."

The brunette beside her exhaled hard and then nodded, "that's good."

"It is?"

"Yeah Brooke of course- she's one of your oldest friends and you need them around you while you get through this. I mean with Rach-" she stopped and bit her lip; Haley was also _very_ upset about Rachel's condition. She'd spent more time in the red head's room than Brookes. Brooke had been glad about that- she didn't want Rachel to be alone and she herself couldn't go- she'd practically made Haley leave her room on several ocassions to go and sit with Rachel.

"Anyway," Haley shook herself, "people are what matter right?"

"Right..." Brooke frowned, she wanted Haley to understand that if she wasn't ok with this she _could_ say, "but you matter too Hales- and if you're not ready or you feel like you can't trust her-"

"I know it sounds weird Brooke but I don't actually live in fear of the two of them falling into bed together again."

"You don't?"

"No," Haley closed the magazine and her dark eyes were serious as she looked at Brooke. "Where Nathan and I were in the fall... we were in such a crappy place and I- I will probably always be bothered by it, by them I mean, cos you know, i'm human," she smiled faintly, "but I want to trust Nathan again and I don't think Peyton was spending her time seducing him- I think it just happened. I think she was in a crap place and Nathan was something she could hold onto. I wasn't being that pillar for Nathan and he sure as hell wasn't being it for me. He let me down. He broke me. But I was ok- I survived. And now I know what I want."

Brooke was staring at her incredulously, "Haley-"

"No don't honey- please don't try and make sense of that or twist it- i'm not saying I think they were right to do it or anything stupid like that. I just- I get it. And I don't want Nathan and I to get to that place where we're not the first port of call for each other ever again. It takes two people to make a marriage work. And neither of us were trying. But now we want to. I know I want to be with Nathan and more than that, I _know_ he wants to be with me."

She smiled at Brooke and touched her hand briefly, "we're ok, ok?"

Wordlessly Brooke nodded and then cleared her throat- "just so you know though- you could totally take her."

Haley laughed and flipped the magazine back open, "oh I know."

They were just lusting after a Diane Von Furstenberg skirt when there was a knock on the door.

"Yeaah?"

A tired looking Owen peeked his head round the door and smiled brightly, "Brooke- Rachel's awake."

Brooke dropped the Vanity Fair and laughed aloud, "oh my god! That's great! Hales can you get that stupid ass wheelchair please? I need to go see her and kick her ass!"

**So next there'll be brachel and an awkward paley chat! And some more brucas of course :D**


	35. Bedtime Stories

**A/N: Oh my god I'm sorry for the length of time it has taken for me to UD, I've been essaying it and then I've had the worst cold (I know it seems lame but I never get ill so it's big for me lol) but here we go!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, just forever playing in the sandbox.**

"I'm not wearing that," Rachel said dismissively, pushing away the design Brooke had just held up.

"Rach it's the most flattering design for both you _and_ Hales!"

"It looks like a dressing gown!"

Brooke pouted, "well thank you very much; I drew that!"

"Honey you know I love your stuff, hell I wear it more than some of the designers I actually get _paid_ to work for but I'm sorry- Hales and I can pull of something far less... frumpy."

_Drunken, bitter bridesmaids... and Deb._

"Rachel!" Brooke sighed and tossed the sketch aside, "fine, what about this one?"

"Brooke we're not from a convent! I'm planning on looking super hot at this thing not like a lost nun."

"You're referring to my wedding as a "_thing_"?!"

Rachel shrugged easily, "hey you're the one all up for _commitment_, I can't help it if I don't entirely see the point."

Brooke glowered at her, "you're not being funny." She kind of was because frankly Brooke was so grateful Rachel was _here_ and teasing her at all, everything she said made her laugh but _**still**_.

The red head smirked, "you know I'm just winding you up sweetie- I'll wear anything you ask me to... except that."

"God you're-"

"Good morning ladies!" They both sat up suddenly and smiled brightly as Dr Shepherd appeared at the door of Brooke's room with his briefcase and his ultra gorgeous smile. "How are we today?"

"Very well thank you," Rachel said softly, flicking her hair and then wincing as her sling dug into her shoulder. Beside her Brooke sniggered and Rachel jabbed her in the ribs with her good hand.

"Miss Gattina, should you be out of bed?" Dr Shepherd shot her an amused but warning look, "you're not one hundred per cent yet, you should be at home regaining your strength, in _bed_," he added firmly.

Brooke was half expecting Rachel to say something about needing to be personally escorted back home and into bed by a certain doctor but instead she merely smiled apologetically and said, "I'm on my way back I promise- I just dropped in to see the Brookie monster after I picked up my prescriptions." Brooke looked at her friend in surprise- man Owen had really softened her.

Dr Shepherd smiled, "well I guess I don't see the harm in you staying a little while; as long as you go right home afterwards- and someone else drives you."

"I promise," Rachel said, holding up two fingers, "scouts honour- and my boyfriend's downstairs discussing cars with Luke- he drove us here."

"Good," Dr Shepherd strapped a blood pressure monitor around Brooke's arm and smiled encouragingly at her, "heartbeats were strong- let me just check your blood pressure." He had been dropping in almost every day to check on her and it set Brooke's mind at ease to know whatever twinges she felt she could consult with him over the minute he arrived.

"Ok so how do I look?" Haley appeared at the door of Brooke's walk in closet in a blue satin dress and then blushed as she saw Dr Shepherd, "oh gosh sorry I didn't realise you were here Dr Shepherd- I can come back-"

"No it's fine Mrs Scott," he said smiling widely at her, "and I think you look lovely."

Haley blushed and suddenly looked eighteen again. The dress _did_ look lovely on her Brooke thought.

"It does look good," Rachel nodded her approval, "I could wear that colour too. You know I could try it if I just took my sling off for a-"

"No!" Brooke and Haley both chorused.

"You are the _worst_ invalid ever," Brooke added, "you leave that sling on and you can try the dress in two weeks!"

"I have to agree with Brooke," Dr Shepherd said as he packed away his stethoscope, "it's better to leave the sling in place for all six weeks; you risk permanent damage to the arm if you move it too much."

"Yeah, you could end up a _hunchback_," Millicent added teasingly from the corner where she was putting a table plan together.

Rachel glowered at her, "I'd still be hotter than you Mills."

"Pfft as if Rach- you've got a big ass ugly face going with the hunchback- I think I've got it in the bag." She ducked, laughing, as Rachel tossed a load of taffeta at her.

Dr Shepherd chuckled, "well that's my cue to leave before I get tangled in a web of lace and silk." Brooke caught Rachel's eye and knew they were both thinking the same thing, _Dr Shepherd wrapped in lace_, and giggled.

"Thank you for coming Dr Shepherd, will you be coming again tomorrow?"

"Actually I have an appointment tomorrow so if you don't mind my colleague Dr Sloane will be dropping by."

"Oh," Brooke hesitated, she didn't just like Dr Shepherd because he was gorgeous and smelt nice -ok _amazing_- she liked him because he didn't mind her worrying constantly- he answered every question she had, dealt with every panic.

"Dr Sloane is just as willing to sit and talk about wedding dresses as I am though," Dr Shepherd said with a quick smile, almost as though he was reading her mind and trying to reassure her.

Brooke felt better and shot dimples at him, "I'm sure he'll be great, thank you."

Lucas appeared at the door looking confused and holding the phone, "babe this guy's yelling at me about orchids- he's talking about blue and pink not going together- what do I say?!"

_Maybe he's gay._

_No, I think he's just nice._

She pulled an apologetic face and reached for the phone, "here honey, let me deal with Bjorn- he needs a firm hand."

His shoulders sagged with relief, "oh thank you, he's been shouting for like twenty minutes. Dr Shepherd can I show you out?"

"Thank you, Brooke I'll see you on Friday?"

Brooke nodded, "thank you," she said softly and then took the phone from Lucas, "Bjorn, what's the matter with you? Of course I don't want blue and pink orchids I have taste!"

* * *

Several hours later Jayden came home from school and collapsed on the bed across her feet. Rachel had gone home with a warning that if anything pink appeared on the list of dresses for her to try she would _not_ be appearing at the wedding and Haley was downstairs in the kitchen with Nathan. For a minute Brooke had been dozing and now sat up and smiled warmly at her son, "hey chicken, what's up?"

Jayden scowled, "don't wanna talk about it."

"Jay?" She rubbed his back soothingly and he burrowed deeper underneath the covers, "baby?"

Lucas had followed Jay upstairs carrying his sweater and school bag and leant against the door, "_someone_ got in trouble today."

Brooke's eyes widened as she looked up at him, "what?!" She reached under the covers to tug at her son gently, "Jayden Sawyer what did you do?!"

"Nothing!" He called back in a muffled voice.

Lucas met Brooke's eyes in amusement and she lifted an eyebrow, minimally he shook his head and she relaxed- it wasn't something serious. "Jayy..."

"This _stupid_ boy in the year above called me a munchkin so I threw my milk at him."

She almost laughed aloud, _almost_. Instead she managed to sound outraged, "Jayden you threw milk at someone?!"

"He was making fun of me!"

"But you threw _milk_ at him?!"

She pulled the covers away and Jayden scowled up at her, "he called me a **munchkin**!"

"He-" she hesitated, "Jay honey you're not a munchkin; you might be a little on the short side now but hey your dad was as skinny as a rake until last Spring-"

"Ha ha," Lucas cut in drily as he moved to sit down next to her.

"And you'll _grow_ baby. You know you shouldn't rise to things other people say to you- no matter what it is."

"Your mom's right," Lucas concurred, "she says mean things to me all the time but I just rise above."

Brooke raised an eyebrow at him, "_anyway_, Jayden you know better than to do silly things like that- you could have hurt him! What happened? Were you already having a bad day?"

Jayden shrugged agitatedly, "was ok."

"Jayden," his father's voice was stern, "Miss Sidle was really concerned- she said you've never acted out before today- is it the first time this boy's been mean to you?"

"Yes! Just leave me alone," Jayden huffed crossly before diving off the bed and running from the room.

"Jayden!" Brooke called after him but he didn't return. She sighed and looked back at Luke, "what was all that about?"

Lucas linked his fingers through hers and said softly, "Miss Sidle said this kid Joel was teasing Jamie last week and Jayden stepped in. And then today he decided to pick on Jay himself and things got out of hand."

"Oh god, was this kid hurt, by the, you know, milk in the face?"

He let out a muffled laugh and she raised her eyebrows at him, "sorry and no I don't think so. Seems like Jayden and Jamie were the ones being knocked around."

Brooke closed her eyes briefly, "I thought we'd managed to avoid the playground stuff with him- I guess I breathed too soon."

"It's just kid stuff," he soothed, "and Miss Sidle said she'd never had a problem with him before. She told him off obviously and he's gonna miss this week's golden time."

"Oh no, he really loves that." Brooke bit her lip, "of all the ways to react though- our kid doesn't hit people, he throws his milk at them."

Lucas grinned suddenly, "I kinda wish I'd seen it."

"Luke!"

He held his hands up, "look I'll go talk to him ok?"

"Ok, but send him back here when you're finished please. I wanna make sure he's not going to make this running away thing a really bad habit."

He nodded and then leant forward to kiss her, "I'll bring him in and we'll talk to him together, how does that sound?"

"Better," she dimpled up at him and he winked at her and left the room. She made a note to call Miss Sidle and get the number of this kid Joel's Mom to have a few words with her. There was no way anyone was bullying her Scott boys.

Her cell rang as she was slipping back under the covers and she picked it up, "Brooke Davis."

"Brooke it's Victoria."

She scowled and glanced at the cell number, damn sneaky anonymous caller Ids, she'd only answered it because she'd been distracted.

"Hello Mother," she said finally.

"I hear you've been in an accident."

"I was in an accident a month ago Victoria- I got flowers from the board- I'd have thought if you had any real concern you would have gotten in touch then."

"I was not aware of your accident to begin with Brooke- I have been in Tokyo for some time, catching up on the market over there."

Brooke rolled her eyes, "how _fabulous_ for you. Anyway _you_ called me mother so I'm assuming there's something you need."

"Can't a mother just show her child some concern?"

Jayden reappeared looking sullen but apologetic, practically hiding behind his father's legs and Brooke felt her heart swell with affection and then rolled her eyes down the phone, "no Victoria- you have no idea how to show your concern and since the only other tie we have is my previous business I see no problem why you can't leave a message with my assistant- you have her numbers yes?"

"Yes but Brooke we need to-"

"_Goodbye_ Victoria," she cut in and snapped her phone shut.

_No, I hate you!_

_She's so sweet._

Brooke smiled at her son, "hello mister, you ready to talk?"

"Sorry," he mumbled apologetically. He clambered back onto the bed and she rubbed his arms.

"Did you at least apologise to Joel?"

Jayden scowled, "yeah; Miss Sidle _made_ me."

"Good- you can't fight your battles like that baby, you gotta ignore it when people are rude to you."

"Your mom's right," Lucas said sitting down beside them, "and you're totally banned from Playstation for a week."

"_What_?!"

"Your dad's right Jay- you can't throw things at people or pick fights without consequences."

"Fine!" Jayden rested his chin on his hands, "this _sucks_. Jamie's not in trouble!"

"Jamie wasn't the one who threw his milk at Joel. And besides, honey sometimes you're gonna get in trouble and you need to deal with things head on- you can't run away from us." She ran a hand through his hair, "why didn't you tell us about Joel picking on you last week?"

Jayden looked up at her with big eyes, "because I thought he would leave us alone if we ignored him."

"Well that's very sensible," Brooke looked at Lucas, impressed with her son's good sense but then tried again, "but in future come talk to us ok?"

"Ok," Jayden sighed again.

"You know i'm proud of you for sticking up for Jamie though honey, but any time anyone gives you trouble again-"

"No milk throwing," Lucas said firmly.

"Fine, I promise," Jayden scowled and then smiled faintly, "can I play on my Playstation now?"

"No! We meant it, you're grounded for a week Jay."

"Fiiiine."

Millicent knocked on the door and peeked in, "Brooke can we talk?"

Brooke raised an eyebrow at her son, "you wanna go get a snack and then come sit with me and Mills?"

"No uh- you're gonna be talking wedding stuff aren't you?"

"Yup," Millicent breezed into the room carrying a stack of folders, "really boring stuff."

"Gross!" Jayden leapt from the bed and after high fiving Millie disappeared from the room.

"D _not_ turn your Playstation on Jayden Sawyer!"

"I wasn't going to!" He called back indignantly.

"Yes you were!"

"Hey Luke- you staying or going?" Millicent was looking at him expectantly, smirking slightly, as _if_ he wanted to stay and do wedding talk.

Lucas pulled a face and looked at Brooke desperately, "uh do I have to stay?"

She laughed and pulled him towards her to kiss him, "no- but thank you for asking."

"Thank you!" He leapt off the bed in the exact same fashion as his son and dived out the room.

_Big romantic ceremony, followed by a big fancy party, wow._

_Oh I know and then there's the flowers and the dresses and the vows._

_Not to mention my best man speech._

_Come on, you're killing me! You know i'm a sucker for weddings. Any chance you could use a date?_

Brooke rolled her eyes at him fondly and then turned to face Mills, "so what's up?"

"Ok," Millicent laid the table plans down in front of her on the bed and grabbed a pen, "I can't sit Archie and Russ next to each other anymore- apparently they're arch nemesis' these days but if I move Archie to this table Owen's gonna end up sitting next to Scarlet and I don't think you want Scarlet sitting next to anyone Rachel likes and-"

"Woah woah," Brooke peered down at the tiny tables, "why is Scarlet even coming? I thought she would say no- the invite was just a formal thing!"

"Open bar?" Millicent shrugged, "the chance to say she was at the wedding of the year maybe?"

"Nooo! She's gonna hit on everything that moves- Rachel's gonna claw her eyes out."

Millicent smirked, "I know... I can't wait."

Against her will Brooke giggled, "yeah that _would_ be fun to watch."

"Exactly, besides Brooke, she's one of the best models in the business right now- you're gonna want her on your side when you start up your store."

Brooke scowled, "fine- but don't sit her next to Owen... put her next to Peyton."

Her friend sniggered, "ok. What about Archie?"

Millicent left at eight and Lucas collapsed on the bed at Brooke's feet and smiled sleepily up at her. "You think Jay's gonna be ok?" she asked quietly, running her hand through his hair.

"Yeah," he stretched and yawned, wrapping his arms around her, "he's reading at the moment- maybe it'll catch on now he's not allowed on his Playstation."

"Baby you can't _make_ him a geek!"

Lucas pouted, "I can try!"

She laughed, "what if he wants to be cool?"

"I can teach him how to do that too."

"Um, you can? Because I've yet to see you actually ever _be_ cool..." He squeezed her leg suddenly and she jolted away laughing harder, "I'm kidding!"

"You better be," he narrowed his eyes at her, "I mean please- I can be cool."

She pulled a face, trying not to laugh... "If you say so."

He sighed and rolled his eyes before resting a hand on her stomach, "hey baby- are you gonna be on my side? Because I could really do with some back up out here."

As if responding the baby kicked and they both started happily. "Is that a yes or a no d'you think?" he asked looking up at her with shining eyes.

He looked so excited she didn't have the heart to tease him any longer, "I think baby number two is definitely going to be on Team Lucas sweetie."

"Damn straight!"

He reached over the side of the bed and pulled up the copy of Anne of Green Gables that he was reading to both Brooke and the baby. Oddly Brooke was enjoying the classic, despite it being a children's novel, partly for the fact that the writing was beautiful but also because watching Luke's face as he read to their baby was _magical_. There wasn't another word for it really. It felt like the world narrowed down to the cocoon they made with the bed covers and knowing everyone else she loved was safe and warm somewhere in the house she could forget everything else and just relax. She didn't have to play a part or answer a million questions and phone calls, instead she could just, _be_. She could close her eyes to listen to the strong timbre of his voice or watch him affectionately. The way he frowned slightly as he read; his eyes intense on the page, one hand on her stomach. She would run her hands through his hair fondly and think that although she was looking forward to the baby being born and actually being able to use her legs for more than walking to the bathroom again... she really loved this time of day.

_The only thing I really wanna see is Lucas laugh again or you know, hear him sing off key or watch him roll his eyes when I steal french fries off his plate. I guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm crazy about your son._


	36. Sitting Pretty in the Chaos

**A/N: So I've had this planned out for a while but the reviews have been duly noted and I hope almost everyone can be happy with the outcome!**

**Disclaimer: I'm playing in a sandbox s'all I'm doing Mark. **

At five Brooke decided she wasn't getting back to sleep and that she needed to _do_ something. As gracefully as is possible at eight months pregnant she slipped out of bed and stretched slowly. Lucas groaned slightly in his sleep and rolled over onto her side of the bed- taking advantage of the space she knew he had to be missing- and curled his arm around her pillow.

"You ok?" he murmured sleepily.

"Yeah I'm fine- just need a drink," she whispered.

"I'll get it," he said and began to shift.

"No no it's fine," she reached down to brush his cheek, "I need the walk."

"Mmkay," he scrunched back down into the pillow smiling slightly," don't be long."

She padded down the corridor, glancing in on Jayden as she did so and then made her way downstairs. It was blissfully quiet in the kitchen, only the faint sound of the ocean that got louder as she pushed open the window and breathed in deeply. She clicked on the kettle and then started as the baby kicked soundly against her stomach, "woah, I guess you couldn't sleep either huh baby?" She ran a hand soothingly across her belly and smiled happily, "not long now. I wonder if you're gonna sleep as much as your daddy likes to."

She made her way out onto the deck overlooking the garden and sat down on the swing Nathan had set up a few days ago. The peppermint tea was hot and she left it to cool for a while trying to get a hold of what she was feeling. God there was the kicking again and she jumped, "ok way too early for you to start feeling acrobatic in there honey."

There was a noise behind her and she turned to see Haley looking sleepy and holding a cross looking Grace. "Couldn't sleep either huh girly?"

Brooke snorted, "I don't think I've slept properly for the last five years and I doubt I'll be sleeping for the next eighteen years. Don't even start me on the nightmares I have about car crashes, drownings, possible psycho killers, evil men with sweets luring my children into cars."

"Not exactly something to look forward to," Haley said smiling slightly.

"Along with stretch marks and crows feet."

"Oh god don't remind me."

"Hales, you look amazing- no-one would believe you've had two kids- me on the other hand-"

"Do _not_ start with me Brooke Davis- you're skinny as a rake under there- you're gonna have a baby and drop the weight like that," she snapped her fingers, "and I'm gonna look like the giant crone next to you guys in the wedding pictures."

Brooke laughed and patted her friend's hand, "but of course you'll be doing that as a favour to me considering no-one is allowed to look better than me on my wedding day."

Haley sniggered, "good luck telling Rachel that."

"Oh don't worry," Brooke waved a hand easily, "Mills is under strict instructions to get her drunk the night before so she looks really hung-over."

"Good plan."

They both giggled quietly, not really meaning any of it of course- they were just glad Rachel and her hot behind were still in the land of the living. Grace yawned against Haley's shoulder and her mother smiled down at her softly, "I can' believe she's nearly a year old."

Brooke was playing with Gracie's feet and shook her head, "it's unbelievable- time is going so quickly."

Haley bit her lip briefly and then twisted to face her on the bench, "Brooke-"

"Yeah hon?"

"I uh- I have something to tell you." She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear the way she had always done when she was agitated at school and Brooke frowned in concern.

"Is everything ok?"

"Oh yeah, at least I think so," she smiled widely suddenly, "ok... Nathan and I, we're- we're gonna move back in together."

"Wow," Brooke exhaled sharply, "oh Hales that's great! Are you sure?"

"Yeah I am. I think it's time we stopped talking about being a family again and actually, you know- became one. I mean it's been wonderful being here with you-" her brown eyes filled with tears suddenly, "kind of felt like we were back in school together you know?" Brooke nodded wordlessly and grabbed hold of her friend's hand to squeeze it tightly.

"And I can't ever thank you enough Brooke, really, for everything you've done for me- for us- over these last few months. I know it's been really hard for you too but, I'm really glad you came back and that you've been here." Haley swallowed hard, "I don't think I could have done this without you. And I really don't think I would feel half as strong or as confident about the next step if I didn't know you were there- you've been a wonderful friend."

"Oh god _Haley_!" Brooke wailed, "you're gonna make me cry and it's not even seven am!"

"I'm sorry!"

"No no don't be," Brooke leant forward and even though it was a squish with Gracie and the baby she pulled her close, "you don't have to thank me Hales but you're welcome anyway. And it goes both ways," she smiled quickly, "you listened when no-one else did. And god- you have helped me _so_ much. I love you Haley James Scott and I'll always be here- I promise."

"Mmf," Haley's reply was muffled in Brooke's shoulder and they both laughed and sat up. Haley wiped her eyes and nodded, "I love you too Brooke Davis."

They were silent for a moment and then Brooke sat up and smiled bravely, "so when are you gonna be leaving us?"

Haley took a shuddering breath, "oh I don't know- as soon as I feel brave enough to pack up my room- it's been so easy being here you know? Somewhere to run to."

Brooke could relate, for her New York had been all about the running. "I know Hales- but you know, if you run forever you don't ever stop to see what you're missing... "

"I know, I really do know that now," Haley said nodding. "It's just scary you know?"

She nodded and squeezed her hand, "you and Nate both want to make this work, and I know you will."

"Thank you. I'm gonna sit down with Jamie tonight and have a talk about it."

Between them Grace suddenly wailed and Brooke started as another bout of kicking began, "looks like the babies are well and truly awake!"

"They have perfect timing," Haley said jumping up, "you want some breakfast?"

"God yes please!"

Brooke followed her back into the kitchen and sat down at the counter as Haley busied herself with cereal. She held Gracie tightly and kissed the top of her head, "I wonder what you're gonnna be when you grow up girly girl," she murmured softly to her. Grace replied by grabbing a strand of Brooke's hair and laughing delightedly.

"Buks!"

Haley turned round in surprise, "oh no honey, you can't be a writer- they all look like they need a shower."

"Hey!" Brooke flicked cold tea at her, "Lucas doesn't ever look like that."

The brunette snorted as she set out two bowls, "you should have seen him before you came back B; he uh- grew a beard."

"Oh god!" she grinned gleefully, "do you have pictures?"

"None that she can show you without a sudden and painful death following!" They both looked up to see Lucas glowering at his best friend and rubbing a towel across his hair. Brooke felt the familiar fluttering her heart always did when she looked at him. And today had the added bonus of the just showered and shaved look, her fiancée was pretty darn _fine_.

_Oh, you think I was going to miss a chance to spend a night on the town with a soon to be best selling author?_

_God it is good to see you Brooke._

"Dude come on," Haley said laughing, "I said you _used_ to look like that- at least you've showered today- you're already proving me wrong about writers."

"Damn straight," he retorted gruffly before bending to kiss Brooke and the top of his niece's head. "Don't you two _ever_ sleep?!"

"Baby was feeling really active this morning," Brooke explained, "and Hales and I don't technically need all that beauty sleep you and Nate need."

"Ha ha," he said sulkily.

"Thank you," Brooke beamed up at Haley as she placed a bowl in front of her and Brooke grabbed the Cheerios.

"Brooke that is _not_ a healthy breakfast!" Both Haley and Lucas frowned at her and she sighed as Lucas swiped the bowl away from her and replaced it with a banana.

"Guys come on! I've practically become a vegetable patch for the last two months the amount of healthy stuff you're making me eat!"

"At least we're letting you walk around," Lucas teased.

She jabbed him in the arm with her spoon.

* * *

At seven Brooke made her way into Jayden's room to wake him up. "Rise and shine jelly tot it's time for school!"

"Goway! M'sleepin'!" Jayden pulled his pillow up over his face as his mother opened the curtains, "nooo nosunmom!" She rolled her eyes.

"Jayden Davis do not make me get a cold flannel!"

He threw back the duvet in a split second and sat up in bed, "I'm up, I'm up! You're mean," he said turning to stick his tongue out at her. His hair was sticking up and he looked adorable.

She laughed, "hey careful there," she reached out to tap his nose, "the wind might blow real hard and end up making you face stick that way."

"That's not true- Uncle Nathan told me it wasn't."

Brooke looked at him incredulously, "are you implying your Uncle Nathan knows better than your mother?"

He attempted to look up at her innocently, "no..."

"Jayden!"

"He does know about a lot of stuff though mom."

"What? Like what?!"

"He knows lots about basketball and he can lift all the giant weights me and Jamie can't _and_ he can do this wicked thing on my ninja game."

"Unbelievable," she muttered before collapsing on the bed beside him, "yeah well does your Uncle Nathan know how to make cookies from scratch?"

"Do _you_ momma?"

Her mouth fell open in surprise, "y_ou_ are getting cheeky in your old age mister!" She jabbed him in the ribs and he rolled over laughing.

"Mom stop!"

He was careful not to kick her stomach and she felt a flash of pride at her boy being so careful. She lay on her back and he crawled up next to her, resting his head in the crook of her neck. "You smell nice."

"Aw thanks honey."

He yawned and nestled closer, "do I have to go to school today? Pleeease can't I just stay with you?"

Suddenly she was less proud and more suspicious, "are you trying to be all sweet and polite to me so that you can stay home?"

He sat up, his blue eyes big and wide, "no!"

"Jayden Sawyer Davis, _where_ are you learning all these tricks?!" He shrugged, still attempting to be innocent and she rolled her eyes, "you are so your mother's son." She sat up, "come on trickster, you've got teeth to clean!"

She waved Lucas, Jayden and Jamie off at eight fifteen and felt another twinge in her stomach. She grabbed hold of the hall dresser in surprise. "Wow you are really active today baby!"

Millicent arrived twenty minutes later and shooed Brooke back into bed, "you are supposed to be off your feet at all times Brooke!"

"You know, it's nice that you all care and all but I have taken care of myself for, oh I don't know, twenty four years now!" She scowled as Millicent pulled the covers over her feet, "you're all treating me like glass!"

"That's because right now, you're made of very fragile glass honey. So shut up and let us treat you like that ok?"

She sulked for a moment more and then Millicent pulled out the giant wedding planner and she slapped her hands with glee, "this is more like it!"

Haley appeared with Grace and collapsed on the bed next to Brooke, "oh good wedding stuff..." She pulled a face, "does that mean I have to try more dresses on?"

Brooke attempted to swat her with the wedding planner, "that is _not_ the enthusiasm I need Mrs Scott!"

"Oh my god- people are going to be calling you that soon Brooke," Millicent interrupted.

Brooke hesitated, "oh man I hadn't thought about changing my name..."

"I like Davis," Haley said softly, sitting back and playing with Brooke's hair while Gracie tried to eat the corner of the planner.

"So do I but- it's Luke you know?"

"He could always become Davis," Millicent suggested innocently.

Haley sniggered, "Lucas Eugene Davis. Hey maybe I should make Nathan, Nathan _James_!"

"Did you ask Luke what he thinks?"

Brooke shook her head, "I should really. And I guess I'll have to ask Jay too. I know he's Davis at the moment but now he knows Luke is his father and his name is Scott..." She fell silent, there was still so much to do before they got married and- she started as the baby kicked again, "ouuuch! That one was hard!"

"You ok?" Haley leant forward and Brooke caught Millicent peering at her over the top of US Bride and almost laughed.

"You guys I'm _fine_! The baby's just active is all."

_I don't like you guys to see me like this.... vulnerable._

_It's how I always see you Brooke, that and your beauty._

The door bell went at nine and Millicent raised an inquisitive eyebrow, "it'll be Doctor Sloane," Brooke explained.

Millicent nodded and jumped up, "I'll go get it."

When she returned twenty seconds later she was flushed and when she spoke her voice was breathy and low, "just this way Doctor." She came in, flipping her hair as she did so and Haley and Brooke exchanged quizzical looks, before realizing why.

Brooke felt her mouth drop open in surprise, "uh-"

"Hello ladies, I'm Doctor Sloane." The most gorgeous man in a twenty thousand mile radius walked in after Millie, all tall with cheekbones like razorblades and silvery hair and a little bit of stubble that worked. He smiled widely and fixed steel blue eyes on her. "You must be Miss Davis?" He held out a hand and she nodded weakly, taking his hand.

She shook herself and then nodded more vigorously, "yes yes, hi, please- call me Brooke."

"Doctor Shepherd told me you'd say that." She blushed and Dr Sloane smiled at her as he wiped his hands clean with a disposable antiseptic soap. "How are you feeling today?"

"She's been feeling grumpy," Millicent interrupted from behind them, still batting her eye lashes furiously.

Brooke wrinkled her nose at her and then smiled brightly at Doctor Sloane, "nothing too serious. Although baby Scott has been pretty active this morning."

"Uh huh," Dr Sloane was silent for a second as he took her blood pressure and then pulled out a mini ultra sound pack.

"Have you been a doctor long?" Millicent asked from the corner of the bed where she was leaning forward and practically _falling_ into Dr Sloane's personal space. Behind them Haley snorted and hid her face behind 'Special Bride'.

"Since I graduated medical school," he said, flashing her a wide smile. "So eleven years."

"Oh so that makes you-"

"Way too old to remember," he grinned again and Millicent threw her head back laughing... and nearly fell off the edge of the bed.

Brooke caught Haley's eye and grinned. This was hilarious.

"Brooke, the last time the baby kicked, would you say it was for a prolonged period of time?" Dr Sloane was suddenly frowning slightly as he looked closely at the screen.

"Um, I guess," she bit her lip, "why?" Haley caught her hand wordlessly and squeezed it quickly.

He gave her a quick reassuring smile, "there's nothing to be worried about."

"Ok but you've got the same face my fiancé makes when he's about to tell me there's no more chocolate in the house or something and that's normally a bad thing so-"

"Please don't panic Brooke; it isn't good for you. Everything's going to be fine." He hesitated as he stood up, pulling out his phone before turning back to her, "but if I'm not mistaken I would say you're in labour."

She stared up at him in surprise. Beside her she felt Haley's arms go limp and the magazine she was clutching fell to the floor. "Are you joking? No way! I would know. No, _no_ there has to be a mistake."

"I would estimate you've been having contractions for a while now?"

"No- I- it's too soon. This isn't right." She turned and grabbed Haley's arm, "Hales _tell_ him- I've been fine all morning!"

"Brooke, it's ok."

"Someone needs to call Lucas like _right_ now," she suddenly screeched. "Get Lucas on the phone NOW!" Haley jumped up off the bed and began scrolling though her cell phone numbers.

Dr Sloane crouched down beside her, taking her hand, "Brooke listen to me, you're fine. Your baby is going to be fine. This isn't uncommon and at thirty three weeks the risks are all low. We're going to get you to the hospital and everything is going to be ok, alright?"

"I _knew_ Doctor Shepherd should have come today," she growled at him, "this is _totally_ your fault!"

"I-"

"She's not normally like this," Millicent cut in quickly.

"It's ok I-"

"Millicent stop defending me to your stupid crush; I'm about to have a baby because of him!" She was suddenly out of breath and she cursed aloud. "God this is ridiculous, I am _not_ having a baby today! I would know," she added, "I would know right?"

"Some women don't realise they're in labour until minutes before they give birth," Dr Sloane said from the door where he was calling an ambulance.

"Well that's _very_ helpful but I am not one of those women! I have given birth before! See the six year old in that picture? Yeah, I pushed him out of me and I remember every minute leading up to that serious pain! I was at thirty six weeks, I woke up, did all the right exercises, packed my bags and I took a cab to the hospital not a freaking ambulance a month early!" She lay back down, folding her arms, "and _that_ is how this one is happening too."

As if to contradict her the baby gave another big kick, that ok, _did_ kind of feel more like a contraction and she gasped. "Oh for the love of- this baby is so like Lucas it's untrue."

"It's alright," Dr Sloane bent down and pulled equipment out of his bag, "you haven't progressed very far."

"What are you doing?" she said suddenly, her eyes snapping to the gloves and mask he was setting down on the bed.

"I may have to deliver here depending on how long the ambulance is."

She paled suddenly, "what?! I don't think I can do this right now."

The doctor gave her another smile, "you can. You've done it before right?"

"Yeah I'm sure it'll be like riding a bike," she shot back, "Hales where's Lucas?"

"He's stuck in traffic honey- look speak to him now ok-" Haley held out the phone.

The doorbell went and Millicent jumped up, "I'll get it- hopefully it's someone with epidurals for all of us."

Brooke threw a pillow at her and then took the phone, "Luke?"

"Hey pretty girl, I hear we're having a baby today."

"Luke this isn't funny!"

"I know babe, I know- I'm just trying to- look never mind, I'm on my way I promise. You gonna be at the hospital?"

"Uh huh- Luke please- I don't want to do this by myself."

"I'll be there as soon as I can Brooke- just, just stay calm."

"Easy for you to say broody you're not about to give birth!"

"Hey I'm sure i'll need some pain killers too before the end of this. You know me and my low threshold for pain."

"Ha ha."

"Is the doctor there babe? Can I talk to him?"

"Yeah hold on-" she looked up, "um Doctor Sloane- my fiancé would uh- like to talk to you."

"Of course."

She felt another wave of pain, they were getting faster and she paused, holding the phone close, "Luke please come soon."

"I will, I love you ok? We can do this, _you_ can do this."

"Ok," her voice was small but she took a breath and nodded, "I love you too."

"Alright honey the ambulance is here-" Millicent re-appeared and strode towards the closet, grabbing a bag, "I'm gonna pack up some stuff. Hales, you're gonna go get Rachel- she'd be pissed as hell if she missed this and I _know_ she'd find a way to blame me. Brooke you're gonna sit pretty and keep breathing ok, you can do that right?"

"I think I can cope with that," Brooke muttered through gritted teeth.

"Great," Millicent smiled brightly up at Doctor Sloane, "are you breathing too Doctor?"

He laughed, "I'm trying."

"God," Brooke growled, "I'm giving birth and she's flirting with my doctor, someone up there _really_ hates me."

_This is all about courage. Nobody is going to believe this coming from me! _

_I would._


	37. Another Heart For The World

**A/N: this chapter was hard to write- having never been in labour myself I never quite know how it would go but um, I hope I got some kind of realism and this is probably how it would go down if I were having a baby and _my_ three best friends were with me. i.e. with lots of people getting in the way and having a million different conversations lol.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or any of the characters. I'd have um, killed a few of them off by now if I did. *cough Mouth***

_Hey Luke, we've been through a lot, me and you. And I wouldn't have made it through today or a couple of days without you._

"Ok Brooke, breathe, one two three, breathe one two three, breathe-"

"Millie if you say breathe one more time I'm going to make you cry," Brooke ground out between now extremely painful contractions. All her friend had done on the short drive to the hospital was say breathe over and over again, Brooke was about ready to hit her with a blunt instrument.

"But it said in the book-" Millicent pouted.

"Yeah well whoever wrote that book definitely hadn't given birth. Ouuuuch."

"Hey hey, remember? Breathe in-"

"Dammit Millie stop!" Brooke looked at Dr Sloane desperately, "aren't I supposed to be high on painkillers right now? Not still able to hear the ramblings of my loony friend?!"

Dr Sloane gave her an apologetic look as Millicent scowled over at her, "I'm sorry Brooke, you're past the time we can allow for an epidural so-"

"What?! You want me to do this with no drugs?!"

"Well-"

"Oh my god you're useless! Get out!"

"Brooke-"

"No I mean it, you're fired pretty boy! Out!"

"I-"

"Now!"

Dr Sloane looked surprised and a little hurt but nodded, "maybe it's best if I- I'll uh- just be outside for a moment until- you know- Doctor Shepherd gets here."

Millicent rushed out after him, "Mark wait-" before leaning back round the door and pointing at Brooke, "Brooke I swear to god if you made him cry you are _so_ dead."

"_I'm_ the one giving birth here!" Brooke retorted.

Millicent groaned in exasperation and then disappeared and Brooke squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to shout too loudly. "Someone _please_ get me a real doctor!!"

"Woah looks like I got here just in time for the party," Rachel said smirking and sauntering into the room. "_Damn_ girl, you look terrible."

Brooke attempted to sit up in the hospital bed to swipe at the red head but couldn't muster up the energy to stretch far enough; instead she opted for glowering, "you call this a party?"

"Honey anything where you're shrieking and crying counts as a party in my book-" she smirked and lifted up her phone, "smile!"

"Rachel stop it!"

"No come on- you look so unhappy- it's priceless!"

"Rach!"

"_Gattina_!"

Rachel whipped round, hiding her phone behind her back and gave Haley an attempt at an innocent smile, "hey James, how's it going?"

"Give me that phone right now and leave Brooke alone!" Rachel pouted but Haley held her hand out expectantly, "_now_."

"_Fine_. Spoilsport," she threw herself into the chair beside Brooke's bed and looked around, "why _did_ you get rid of the eye candy anyway?"

"Because he is obviously an incompetent fool!"

"He's a doctor honey, which means- and no offence here- but it means he's smarter than you."

Brooke glared at her and then looked at Haley, "I will kill her, you know that right? I'm sure there's some kind of law that lets you off the hook for stuff like that when you're giving birth. I can't be held responsible for my actions!"

"Shush Brooke, this isn't good for your blood pressure," Haley said soothingly, running a hand through her friend's hair, "remember, deep breaths." She demonstrated, "see? In... and out."

"I'm sick of breathing in and out!"

Behind them Rachel sniggered and Haley turned to narrow her eyes warningly, "I will make you wait outside Rach."

"Sorry," she said quickly, "here Brooke," she leant forward and rubbed slow circles over Brooke's palms, "that help?"

"Yes," Brooke exhaled trying to relax, "wow, where did you learn to do that?"

Rachel shrugged, "dated a masseuse a while back."

"Ohh yeah, I remember, Caleb right?"

"Something like that," she scrunched up her nose... "Or maybe it was Jonas."

Haley snorted, "they sound nothing alike."

"Hey shut up, just because you're socially inept and only ever dated one guy doesn't mean the rest of us-" Rachel stopped whatever she was about to say when Brooke suddenly grabbed at her hand, squeezing tightly and yelled, "ooohh my god Brooke! Brooke, let go of my hand, let go now!"

Brooke released her hand as the contraction ended and Rachel held up her hand loosely, "oh jesus. And now I have a broken hand."

"Rach I'm sorry!" Brooke reached out to apologise and Rachel pulled away.

"Uh uh- you stay over there preggo and I'll just keep _my_ hands over here- I need these in good shape for-"

"I swear Rach if you finish that sentence I will video the birth of your first child and put it on youtube!"

Rachel pouted, "I was _going_ to say I need them for my photography you dirty minded thing!"

"I am _not_ dirty minded- I'm well behaved!"

"Yeaaah."

"Ladies!" Dr Shepherd appeared and Brooke looked up hopefully.

"Do you have drugs for me Dr Shepherd?"

He pulled an apologetic face, "I'm afraid not Brooke," he sat down beside the bed, flipping through her chart and feeling her pulse, "you wanna tell me why my colleague was um, thrown from the room?"

"I'm sorry," she began, Haley made a sound that could have been disbelief but she ignored it, "I just- I just need to know my baby's gonna be in good hands and-" she hesitated, "I am _really_ sorry about shouting at him though."

Doctor Shepherd suddenly grinned, "I think he'll live, right now, you're allowed to make it all about you- so, you're about-"

"Oh!" She sat forward suddenly and screwed up her face, "oooh oh man, they're getting closer together right?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yeah," Haley glanced at the clock, "every minute and a half."

She bit her lip, "is Luke here yet?"

Rachel shook her head and grabbed Brooke's phone, "I'll call him again- god I'm gonna kill him," she added under her breath.

"It's. Not. His. Fault," Brooke said breathlessly, "he didn't know I was gonna be having the baby today- it's all Sloane's fault!"

"Brooke," Dr Shepherd cut in, "no-one could have foreseen you were going to go into labour today."

"But it's too soon right?" She looked up at him, her dark eyes fearful, "it's too early."

"You're over eight months," he said frowning, "and every test has come back clean so far- as far as things go Brooke, this could be a lot worse."

"That... doesn't sound very reassuring," she said finally.

He smiled quickly, "let's just try and get through this one step at a time ok? Try not to worry too much- you'll get through this, I know you remember? You're a fighter."

"I-"

"Brooke?" Lucas was at the door, wide eyed, his hair at all angles and he was panting, "Brooke!" He came forward into the room, blinking hard, "woah spots..." He staggered slightly and then sat down next to her, "are we- are you there yet? I mean," he took her hand, kissing it, "you ok?" He blinked to focus on her face and she frowned.

"Luke- are you you?"

"Yeah I'm fine, I just ran here from- from Freemont Street, I just need a minute- but how are you?"

"Luke that's like two miles- you shouldn't be doing that with your heart!"

"Babe I'm fine I swear, I just-" he took a breath and then grinned, seemingly more focused, leaning back towards her, "I didn't want to miss this."

She exhaled had and squeezed his hand, "I'm so glad you're here; I-" she gasped as another contraction ran through her.

"Mmhmm," Lucas sat forward and finally caught his breath, pulling away his own mangled hand, "yeah I'm glad I made it too." _Ouch_, he mouthed at Haley, she smiled back in amusement.

"Pfft two miles- boy you are so unfit," Rachel said shaking her head mournfully.

"Shut up red- I'd like to see you try doing that," Lucas shot back. "And why are you here? You're not helping!"

"I was helping _way_ before you got here Scott."

"Guys," Haley hissed, "we're trying to keep Brooke calm."

"Haley I'm right here!"

"Besides I wasn't saying _I_ could do it Lucas, but I know Owen runs like five miles every day."

"Well that's great for Owen but I'm _not_ Owen."

"Yeah, you got that right."

"_Guys_!"

"God Rachel you're so-"

"Brooke," it was Millicent flying into the room, "did it happen yet?"

"_No_!"

"Shut up Lucas."

"Me? I'm trying to enjoy the birth of my child here!"

"I cannot believe you think this is going to any kind of enjoyable experience Luke, I'm trying to push a _person_ out of me!"

"_Now_ see what you've done Luke?"

"Shut up!"

"Alright," Dr Shepherd threw a hand in the air suddenly, "anyone who is not about to give birth or become a father, out!"

There was a chorus of arguments but he stood firm, "we need some calm in this room. I know you all want to be there for Brooke and Lucas but you can be there from _outside_ ok? Right now Brooke needs to concentrate."

For a second there was a stunned silence and then Rachel scowled at Lucas, then at Doctor Shepherd before turning and smiling sweetly at Brooke, "you need anything Brookie?"

"Yeah," Brooke said through gritted teeth, "for this baby to be born."

"Ok well, you get to work on that."

"We love you sweetie," Haley said softly, smoothing the sheets underneath Brooke. "You're gonna be fine."

"Just try and keep breathing," Millicent added before hesitating and looking sheepish, "you know- you can do it your way if you like it better, I'm sure that book was stupid."

"You were only trying to help Mills," Brooke said wearily, "thank you."

"Just try and keep breathing full stop ok?" Rachel added, dropping a kiss on the top of her friend's head, "we'll be right outside."

"Mmkay," she waved to them all weakly before collapsing back on the pillow, "Luke?"

"Yeah, I'm right here babe."

"Mr Scott if you could just move up here-" Dr Shepherd gently manoeuvred Lucas up towards the head of the bed and began pulling down the sheets. "Brooke are you ready?"

"No," she shook her head heavily, "I am _so_ not ready."

Lucas took her hand once more and kissed her temple, "sure you are Brooke- you're always ready for anything remember? Nothing you can't handle. And I've got your back," he added softly.

She almost smirked, "what you wanna do this for me?"

"Um- I wish I could?"

"Liar-"

"Alright Brooke when I say push-"

It was harder than it had been with Jay. Maybe because she'd been younger or just generally more agile or something. Or hell maybe because she'd had some damn _drugs_ last time. She groaned loudly, damn Sloane, damn Shepherd! She grabbed the front of Luke's tee shirt, "damn you Scott! Damn you!"

He looked like he was torn between the desire to laugh and to look apologetic, "oh babe I'm sorry!"

"Goddd-"

"That's good Brooke, keep going."

"Oh Brooke," Lucas sounded completely in awe, "did you really do this once before as well?"

"That's. Really. Not. Helping. You. Jackasssss aaah!"

"And again Brooke," Dr Shepherd tried to call serenely over the screaming.

"No," she shook her head stubbornly, "that's enough for now."

"Come on, you can do it, I know you can do it baby."

"You sound like a stupid Nike add Luke."

He tried not to get offended but honestly- she was _really_ mean in labour.

"Ahhhh my god, we are _so_ not having more children!"

"You'll be over the worst soon, just-"

"I know I know, push, I'm trying!"

"We've got a head, keep going Brooke."

"I'm gonna diiie!"

"One more push," Dr Shepherd continued, he had _definitely_ heard worse shouted and threatened during a labour. "Ten fingers."

"Holy sh-" Lucas felt light headed as he watched, "oh my god Brooke, how-"

"Don't even ask!"

"But, woaaah, god that's-" Lucas felt light headed.

Brooke seemed to have lost the ability to speak.

"It's a boy!"

"Is... he... ok?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yep, ten fingers, ten toes!" Dr Shepherd lifted him up carefully, beaming at them, "congratualtions! Just give us a minute to check him over and he'll be right with you."

She collapsed on the mound of pillows, "oh thank god- and he's breathing and everything?" Her eyes followed the nurse as she moved him to the set of scales and cleaned the new baby up.

"He's fine," the nurse smiled reassuringly, "would you like to hold him?"

"Uh huh," nothing sounded better in the world. Lucas was dancing around excitedly beside her.

"God Brooke you were incredible."

"Yeah, I know right?" She cracked a smile and he laughed and bent to kiss her.

"Here we go," the nurse bent down with a bundle of white blankets, "does he have a name yet?"

Brooke hesitated and looked up at Lucas, "we uh- we hadn't really finished deciding."

"He'll just be baby Davis for now then," she said smiling.

"Baby Scott," she corrected and Lucas looked at her in surprise. She met his eyes and watched them melt into warmth and love, "baby Scott," she said again, more firmly. It was possibly the first time in years she had seen Lucas _this_ close to tears.

"Ok, then here's baby Scott for the first time, congratualtions mom and dad."

"Heh, thank you," she took the bundle gently and gazed down happily. "Hey there baby boy."

"Woah," Lucas breathed quietly, reaching out to touch a tiny hand, "he's amazing. And he's so small Brooke!"

"I know... God he's really here," she said softly, "I can't believe it. I can't believe we made _two_ beings so perfect."

Lucas smiled up at her and then looked back down at the baby, "_this_ is perfect," he said firmly.

"I love you," she murmured softly to them both.

"And I love you," he whispered. After a moment he tore his eyes away and straightened up.

"Luke where-"

"I'm gonna go get Jay, I want him to meet his baby brother," he stopped by the door and grinned widely at her, "god do you have any idea how cool it is to say that?"

"I know honey," she smiled back before glancing down at her new son and then flashing a wicked look his way, "see you in a minute then dad."

He exhaled, still smiling, "and it feels _really_ good to hear that."

_Do you really think there's one person in this entire planet that's right for you?_

_I do._


	38. Everything You Put Your Soul Into

**A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who have been **_**so**_** supportive of this fic. I really appreciate everything you guys have said; especially considering this was my first ever Brucas fic and I **_**know**_** it hasn't been perfect but I'm so glad people have enjoyed it. It's been a strange ride and their have been times when I've thought, what the hell am I doing?! So yay for all of you; I wouldn't have finished this (not that I have yet) without you! I also have to apologise for the length of time it took to UD I have been struggling with a dumbass Trojan virus and have only just got my beautiful laptop back.**

**Disclaimer: lol if I owned I would have written Castiel into One Tree Hill to smite down Mouth and no matter how hot (really hot) and amazing he is, I really don't think anyone would know why there was an angel in Tree Hill, *sigh* more's the pity.**

Rachel was pretending to read an old copy of Vanity Fair and tapping her foot impatiently when the elevator opened and Jayden appeared with Nathan and Jamie. "Rachel!" Jayden dived towards her excitedly.

She dropped the magazine and opened her arms- creases to her dress be damned- "hey dude." She stood up still holding him and moved towards Nathan and Jamie, "hey Jamie, Nate."

Nathan's blue eyes were filled with concern, "how's Brooke?"

She bit her lip, almost smiling, "sounds like she's strangling a cat- or Lucas- in there."

Despite his concern Nathan grinned, "yeah, Haley sounded similar."

"Is my mom ok?" Jayden was clinging to Rachel's neck tightly and she wondered briefly if they'd done the best thing, bringing him to the hospital; this place had some shitty memories for her god son. But he was here and there was no way he'd go home now. She smiled firmly at the tiny blonde.

"Yeah honey- she's gonna be fine- you remember when she told you about your little brother or sister?"

"Uh huh."

"Well she's just making sure they have a safe arrival ok? But she's fine ok?"

"Can I see the baby?"

"Umm, not just yet- but I promise you can really soon." Over Jayden's head she spotted Nathan smirking.

"Who knew you were so good at being sensitive," he muttered.

She narrowed her eyes at him in warning before looking back at Jay, "soon ok?"

"Ok," he squirmed free of her arms, "can I go get a soda please?"

"Yeah," she took his hand, "let's all go get one, Jamie, you coming?"

"Uh huh."

Nathan folded his arms, still watching in amusement as the red head walked down the corridor with the two boys, hand in hand. It was a far cry from the girl who had ridden motor cycles and hit on him what felt like a million years ago.

"Nate!" Lucas appeared, wide eyed with his hair wildly pushed up at a thousand different angles.

"Luke! Is the baby here? Is Brooke ok?"

"Yeah," Lucas broke out into a wide smile, "he's here."

Nathan felt himself smile back at him, "it's a boy? He's- he's a he?"

"Yeah! All healthy, all happy; Brooke's pissed at me for not being able to give birth _for_ her but apart from that..."

Nathan chuckled, "yeah I vaguely remember Haley kind of shouting at me, a _lot_, during Gracie's birth." Lucas laughed and Nathan held out his hand, "congrats big brother."

For a second he thought Lucas wasn't going to take his hand and he wondered if it was too soon- they'd kind of been hanging out more recently and Lucas, although originally suspicious, had seemed to be ok with him but right now maybe he was too soon- crap. He began to pull away but just as he did Lucas suddenly threw his arms around him in a somewhat manly (him) /girly (Lucas) hug, "oof, dude!"

Luke broke away and nodded, "I'm glad you're here Nate, _sincerely_."

"Yeah," he couldn't have been more shocked, "yeah me too."

"Dad!" Jayden re- appeared holding a coke and ran towards Lucas who caught him up in his arms.

"Jay, you ok?"

"Yeah, where's mom?"

"Ah she's just in the other room dude, she wants to see you. You wanna come see her and meet your little brother?"

"Is he here?" He scrunched up his nose in distaste, "does he cry like Gracie does?"

Lucas grinned at him, "all babies cry kiddo."

"Did I cry?"

Nathan snorted, "no; you were the first baby in the history of the world not to ever cry."

Jayden scowled at him, "I bet I was better behaved than _you_ Uncle Nathan."

"That's impossible, I was perfect," he said loftily.

"Yeah, according to whom?" Lucas shot at him and then shifted his son's weight, "come on Jay- let's go say hello to your mom."

They walked into the room to see a sleepy but happy looking Brooke who was holding, from what Jayden could tell, was a big white towel with a pink face.

"Woah," he said loudly, clambering out of Luke's arms, "he's _really_ small."

Brooke laughed, "yeah honey he is, you wanna come up here and have a closer look?"

Jayden nodded, his eyes as round as saucers, "be careful," Lucas whispered as he helped Jay up onto the bed.

Brooke ran a hand through his hair, smiling at him, "Jayden, this is your little brother, his name is Alexander James."

Jayden gazed at the tiny baby thoughtfully and then scrunched up his nose, "can I call him AJ?"

Lucas chuckled and ruffled his son's hair, "you can call him anything you want buddy-"

"Within reason," Brooke cut in as Jayden opened his mouth excitedly, "what your dad meant to say is yes of course you can call him _AJ_. And you know you've got the most important job in the world now baby."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she said softly, "you're a big brother now. He's gonna need you to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't get in trouble."

"Did you do that for Uncle Nathan dad?"

Brooke snorted and Lucas glowered at her, "kind of. I was better at looking after your Aunt Haley though. You know she and I were best friends so I kind of looked out for her and made sure she wasn't ever lonely or afraid. And that's what you gotta do for AJ here."

Jayden reached out and watched in amazement as the new baby latched on to his finger and squeezed it tightly, "he's strong," he said incredulously.

Brooke held her breath as she watched them both stare at one another, two sets of dark and curious eyes gazing intently. "I like him," Jayden finally pronounced. She exhaled heavily and glanced up at Lucas quickly, he appeared to be relaxing his shoulders as well. He winked at her and as always she felt her stomach flip- even after all this time he still had the ability to make her feel seventeen and head over heels all over again.

AJ let out a sharp cry suddenly as Jayden shifted away and immediately his brother moved back towards him, linking their hands together and AJ stilled, his eyes fixed on Jayden's. "I think he likes you too," Brooke said happily, trying desperately not to cry for the hundredth time.

There was a knock on the door just as Lucas was taking a photograph of the two boys and Haley, Rachel and Nathan peeked their heads around the door.

Brooke rolled her eyes chuckling, "hello floating heads."

"Hiii, can we come in?" Haley crept in on her tip toes and Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Hales the baby can still see you coming you know."

"Shut _up_ I just don't wanna scare it!"

"Guys no cussing or arguing in front of my baby!"

"Please Brooke, you're his mother, he's gonna hear a whole lot of both of those things."

"You know I should be mad at you Rach but um, I just gave birth to one of the most amazing things ever sooo... you can go away and eat pie by yourself."

"Please teach your child better insults than that Brookie," Rachel replied easily, sitting down beside Jayden on the bed and pulling him onto her knee. She peered over his shoulder to look down at baby AJ. "God he is _gorgeous_, almost as good looking as you Jay." Jayden beamed at her and she smirked at Brooke, "nicely done; he doesn't look at _all_ like Luke."

Lucas scowled at her, "you know in the roll call of godmothers you're the evil one Gattina."

"Ha that's step mothers and queens you fool. The godmothers are always awesome _and_ hot- even in the disney films."

"I will totally agree to that," Haley said smiling widely as she sat down by the side of the bed and shifted closer to look at the baby. "He's got your eyes Luke."

Nathan snorted, "lucky kid."

"Dude shut up, you're lucky your two look more like me than you," Lucas retorted.

"Hey now!" Haley interrupted, "that just sounds _wrong_ Luke."

"I don't know..." Rachel smirked, "that might make things _really_ fun around here."

"Uh, Hales?" Nathan raised an eyebrow at his wife and she rolled her eyes.

"Trust me Nate, there's no chance. Luke was too busy pouting over Brooke and growing a beard and, no offence my best friend," she smirked at the blonde, "but you're not really my type."

"What?! I'm everybody's type!" Lucas retorted incredulously, "I'm hot, intelligent-"

"Not to mention majorly egotistical."

He scowled, "shut up Rachel! And why are you even here anyway? Don't you have a cauldron to be throwing herbs and newt's eyeballs into?"

"Not to mention people's souls," she said grinning and ignoring his insult. "Besides, I'm god mother so suck it Scott."

"Enough!" Brooke widened her eyes at them all warningly, "all of you behave or I'll kick you all out- I have the power."

Just as Lucas was about to complain about how it was all Rachel's fault, Owen popped his head around the door holding a giant bouquet of roses, "woah, weird de ja vu," he said laughing at the scene in front of him. "Did I miss all the good stuff?"

Brooke beamed at him, "no you're just in time to meet the newbie."

Owen stepped into the room staring at the tiny bundle, "wow, god he's like, really small. I mean I remember when Ben was born but... woah!" He stepped forward to examine the baby, bumping his fist with Jayden's as he moved forward, "he's pretty cool guys."

Lucas smiled widely at him, feeling extremely proud, "I knew I always liked you man."

Brooke sniggered, _yeah right_ and their eyes met, his were dancing with excitement and love and she sparkled back at him.

"Ok," the nurse suddenly interrupted them appearing at the door with her hands on her hips and her face amused, "I think mom and baby need some _serious_ rest right now folks- everybody out!" She was met with an outburst of protests from the gathering and she held up her hands, "you can all come back tomorrow- I promise!"

"Fine," Haley pouted and then bent down to kiss the top of Brooke's head, "you did good momma Davis."

"Thanks Hales- and thanks for earlier- you know- for being calm," Brooke flushed, "I know I was acting a little bit-"

"Crazy?" Rachel offered.

Brooke narrowed her eyes at her, "no, I was going to say-"

"Crazy. You were going to say crazy."

"You know what I'd like to see you try to give birth Gattina," Brooke said scowling at her.

Owen's eyes widened, "uh, excuse me?!"

Rachel turned to look at him and then shrugged, "can't be that hard right."

"Uh, try the worst pain ever," Haley laughed, "and yes it hurts worse than being kicked down there," she added as Nathan opened his mouth. He grinned at her and Brooke felt a wave of happiness that her friends were back to teasing each other with none of the horrible tension they'd had for so many months.

Owen and Rachel were still looking at each other; slowly Owen smiled shyly and then shrugged, "I guess I'd be ok with it if you were."

"I don't know," the red head kinked an eyebrow, "it might be fun to find out..."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah..."

He grabbed her hand suddenly, "congratulations guys!" He yelled before pulling her out of the room giggling.

"Byeee!" Rachel called, "I love you Brookie! Jay I love you! You're all awesome! Except you Lucas," she added as an afterthought as they disappeared down the hall.

Nathan rolled his eyes and bent to kiss the same place Haley had on Brooke's head and smile down at baby Alexander, "seriously guys, congratulations. Jay, you be good and help look after your brother ok?"

Jayden grinned and nodded up at him as they high fived, "bye Uncle Nate."

"Luke," Nathan shook his brother's hand and smiled softly at him, "don't screw it up man."

Lucas squeezed his hand and nodded, "you too." There was a moment as they looked at each- so much history had passed between them- and then Nathan pulled away feeling weirdly like he was sixteen again and getting his ass kicked on the river court by his then stranger of a brother.

"Yeah, I won't. Lot to lose you know?"

Lucas' eyes flashed like he knew exactly what his brother had just been thinking- there was so much they had learnt from each other, so much their children would learn from them. "Yeah," he said finally, "don't." He hugged his best friend and then turned back to sit down with Brooke and his boys.

"Ok, so I have this idea-"

Millicent suddenly appeared at the door, fluffing her hair, "oh man, did I miss the part where Brooke re-enacted Alien?!"

"Mills!"


	39. You Gotta Make All The Time In The World

**AN: Next chapter should be up tomorrow. It's longer. This is kind of like, an interlude!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**3 Months Later**

Brooke adjusted AJ's position in her arms and attempted to reach over the table and grab the phone. She was just out of reach, "crap," she muttered, "just a second... wait! Wait!" She shimmied round the table and managed to yank the phone towards her and cry out breathlessly, "Brooke Davis?" She stumbled into the table she'd just managed to avoid and scowled, "oof."

"Hey pretty girl."

"Uhh, um oww, hey you."

"You ok? Fighting with the phone again?"

"No! It was just out of my reach again is all; there was no violence in front of the baby." She heard him chuckle and scowled, it had been _one_ time and the cord had practically _trapped_ her- it had totally been the phone's fault!

She ignored his laughter and decided to be the grown up in the relationship, dropping a kiss on the top of AJ's head as she moved around, absently folding up material samples, "so how's New York?"

"Oh ok, kind of big and lonely without you."

She laughed, "well that's to be expected- New York kind of _is_ big if you're a country boy through and through."

"Hey!"

"I'm just kidding sweetie. But you know it's kind of true."

"Maybe... Maybe I'm just kind of missing you all."

"That's allowed," she said softly, "so how did the meeting go?"

"Pretty good, I've got a new editor- her name's Lindsey Strauss."

The door bell went as she froze mid-turn and began to head for the door, "your new editor is a _girl_?"

"Yeah but-"

"Does she know you're like basically married"

"Brooke-"

"And a _dad_ and that you have people here like a Haley and a Nathan and-"

"Brooke-"

"Is she pretty?"

She swung the door open crossly and on the other side Lucas smirked and hung up the phone, brandishing a bunch of roses, "no way near as pretty as you babe."

AJ gurgled happily at his father and Brooke blinked slowly, "what- you-" he leant forward and kissed her, handing her the flowers and swooping his youngest son out of her arms all at once.

"I finished early, thought I'd come home and surprise you."

"Yeah," she said faintly, following him as he bounced AJ above his head carefully, "but-"

"Oh," he came back towards her to kiss her cheek, "and Lindsey Strauss is _married_, and like forty."

She narrowed her eyes, "couldn't you have led with that?"

"What and miss you getting all territorial on me?" She opened her mouth to protest and he smirked, "you can't lie Brooke- you know you want me."

She rolled her eyes, "alright moment over. But do you think maybe next time you could just say I love you and I can say it back and you get your kicks that way please Mr Scott?"

He laughed, sitting down at the kitchen table, "sorry. And I promise whenever I meet someone new from now on I'll introduce myself as 'Lucas, married to Brooke, two kids, hands off.'"

"Damn straight," she huffed.

AJ grabbed at the nearest piece of silk and Lucas beamed as he watched him, "so how's it been here? Quiet?"

She began to clear away the rest of the material quickly; AJ was notorious for getting raspberry jam on near priceless silks- i.e. her wedding dress. "Uh huh- Jay's gonna be the next you," she inclined her head to the fridge where a page was stuck up with a red A+ across it. "He wrote a story on the adventures of two best friends who travel everywhere together and fight bad guys in saloons," she chuckled, "it's pretty good."

Luke's eyes widened as he read it, "jeez man it is," he looked up at her excitedly, "babe do you know what this means?"

She laughed, "no! No, no, _no_, you are _not_ making him into a child protégée unless he wants to be one." She shuddered, "and he certainly isn't going to one of those schools for the gifted- he'd end up getting Jamie to come and rescue him."

"I can see it now, the two of them tying bed sheets together and scaling walls," he grinned, "that'd be awesome."

"Luke!"

"What do you reckon AJ, you think your brother could be a secret superhero?"

AJ beamed up at his father and Brooke rolled her eyes, "honey if he's anything like you he's not gonna hit his growth spurt until he's-"

"Do not finish that sentence!"

She sat down beside him and slipped her hand into his, "it's ok sweetie; he's got your charm so he'll be ok."

His blue eyes narrowed suspiciously, "you know how to win me over far too easily."

"Maybe you're just easy," she shot back.

He laughed and pulled her close to kiss her, "are you complaining?"

"Nope."

They sat back and he glanced at the table stacked high with plans and dress material, "I'm guessing we're not quite ready for Saturday?"

She rolled her eyes, "of course we're ready! We just needed to make a few... last minute adjustments. Rachel looked stupid in violet, it's all her fault!"

"It's always Rachel's fault," he said firmly.

"Luke!"

"I know, sorry, she's great, really. I'm glad you have friends like her Brooke. And she's pretty damn lucky to have you."

"Wow," she examined his face carefully, tugging at his chin, "did Lucas Scott _really_ come home?"

He growled and pushed her hand away, trying not to laugh, "do _not _tell her I said that."

"She wouldn't believe it anyway."

"Yeah but she'd mock me for life about it anyway."

"She'll be doing that anyway!"

"_Anyway_," he cut in, shooting her a warning glance, she dimpled back at him, "how can I help to get us back on schedule?"

"Did you and Nate get your suits fitted?"

"Yep," he sat back grinning, "I'm gonna look hot babe- you won't be able to resist."

"Well then I guess it's a good job we're getting married then," she said drily, picking AJ and carrying him over to the crib they'd set up in the kitchen.

"What about tonight- how busy are you gonna be tonight?"

She turned and raised an eyebrow, "that depends, what are you plotting?"

"Nothing," he said innocently, "I just wondered if you wanted to get dinner, you know, just us?"

"You mean like a date?"

He blushed, "it doesn't have to be called _that_."

"You're so cute sweetie- you can ask me to marry you but you get shy about a date."

"Yeah well," he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "well?"

She came over to him and slipped between his legs, his hands falling naturally to her hips as she wound her own around his neck, stroking his hair, "I would love to go on a date with you Luke... _If_ we can find a babysitter at short notice."

He grinned, "I got that covered."

"It's not Lindsey Strauss is it?"

"_No_!"

* * *

At seven Brooke swept her hair back for the fiftieth time and scowled at herself in the mirror. "Up or down?"

Lucas was picking her up after dropping in on his mom and she was fussing about her hair.

"Up! For the last time _up_!" Haley folded the paper she'd been reading and sat up on the bed, "you realise the two of you have been on a date before right?"

"Of course I realise that Hales," she retorted, pretending her voice wasn't as shrill as it sounded. "I'm fine, everything's fine!"

"Brooke-"

"What if I run out of things to say?"

"You _never _run out of things to say."

"What if I get garlic in my teeth?"

"Don't order something with garlic."

"What if I slip and break my ankle?"

"Then Lucas can carry you around."

"Haley!"

"_Brooke_!" Haley stood up and came over to clutch her friend's shoulders gently, "will you please breathe?"

Slowly Brooke sucked in a breath and then smiled shyly, "I'm just nervous."

"Really?" Haley raised an eyebrow, "I hadn't noticed."

"Hales," Brooke resisted stomping her foot, "don't tease me please!"

"I'm kidding sweetie and seriously, you look beautiful- it's going to be wonderful. And you and Lucas can never run out of things to talk about- you are incapable of sitting in silence."

Brooke stuck her tongue out and then smiled a little wider, "ok. Is it seven yet?"

"It's past seven."

"He's late?!"

"See? Now you have something to talk about- you can be mad at him for at least five minutes for his tardiness," Haley said smirking.

Brooke was about to respond when Jayden appeared carrying a Harry Potter dvd, "mom the disc is missing again!"

He sounded reproachful and altogether too like his father, she snorted and then pulled an apologetic face, "sorry baby, hold on, I'll get it for you." She pulled the disc from her laptop and met Haley's inquisitive gaze, "what?"

"_Harry Potter_?"

"I like the films ok? They're cute and Ron is funny."

"_I'm _funny," Haley corrected, "that kid says blimey more times in one film than most people do in a _lifetime_. If anyone's funny in those films it's Draco Malfoy."

The door bell rang before Brooke had a chance to defend the hilarious Ron Weasley and she started in shock, "oh crap!"

"Mom!"

"Sorry baby, sorry- do not remember I said that and do _not_ tell your dad," she kissed the top of his head and brushed his hair out of his face.

"Uncle Nathan says it all the time," Jayden said shrugging, "but I won't till I'm older."

"Don't say it _ever_," she warned as she grabbed her purse, "Hales you sure you're gonna be ok? I mean AJ is asleep but if he wakes up before we're back then I swear I can be here in like five minutes and I left a whole load of numbers on the fridge and Jay needs to be in bed by-"

"Brooke!" Haley waved a hand in front of her face, "I practically live here, the two Jay's are going to be quite happy with HP for as long as it takes me to read Vogue and I know all the emergency contact numbers by heart- most of them are mine remember?"

"Right," Brooke exhaled and ruffled her son's hair, "you ok then Jay?"

"Have a nice time mom."

"Thank you sweetie, you be good for Hales ok?"

"I'm always good!"

"Ha!" She tiptoed down the stairs quickly and opened the door, "you're late!"

Lucas smiled at her softly and held out the long stem red rose, "I was giving you extra time to get ready."

She scowled, "I didn't need extra time."

From behind them Haley scoffed and moved to close the door, "have her back nice and early."

"I live here too Hales," he retorted.

"Yeah, and you have children in the house so remember to be on your _best_ behaviour when you get back."

"I hate you!" She closed the door giggling.

Lucas chuckled and then looked back at her, "_are_ you ready?"

She touched her hair nervously and then smiled widely, "yeah I think so."

"You look beautiful by the way."

"Pfft, I look sleep deprived."

"Babe will you ever learn to take a compliment without arguing it?! You look beautiful and that's final ok?"

She pouted and then grinned against her will, "ok. You cleaned up pretty well yourself handsome."

"Thank you," he raised his eyebrows at her, "see how easy that was?"

"Alright, alright, you're amazing in every way and I bow down to your genius," she narrowed her eyes, "oh baby, oh _baby_, etc."

He laughed, "you know I'm just gonna take all that seriously."

"I think you should," she deadpanned, "it's the only nice thing I plan on saying to you tonight."

"Wow I'm really beginning to rethink this whole date thing."

It was her turn to laugh and she pulled him close suddenly, "I'm only messing with you sweetie, I'm sure I'll think of something else nice to say."

He narrowed his eyes, "just get in the car."

Dinner was as it ever was, both of them talking nineteen to the dozen, and by the time they pulled up at home they were arguing the finer points of Disney classics versus Disney Pixar.

"I feel like I'm sixteen again," Lucas said smiling widely, the only thing implying he wasn't still a teenager were the corners of his eyes crinkling as he did so and Brooke laughed and squeezed his hand.

"I'm glad we had dinner Luke, I feel like between the wedding and the store and the boys and now your book, we haven't really had a chance to just be us for a while. I'm not complaining," she added quickly.

"I know you're not," he said softly.

"I just don't want us to ever run out of time to see each other."

He pulled her over the gear stick and onto his lap, "we might get busy babe, but this is home, we'll always come back here."

"I know, I know, I just," she bit her lip, running a hand through his hair absentmindedly, "what if you have to do a book tour- which you totally should- and that means months away from us and-"

"I already explained to Lindsey that I won't be doing a book tour out of state," he interrupted suddenly.

"You did?"

"Yeah, AJ is still so young plus Jay needs to know he has as much of our attention as he did before the baby and-" she broke him off with a kiss, pulling him closer than he had been before and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Eventually he pulled away, breathless, "what was that for?"

"For you," she softly, "for you _being_ you and doing things like planning ahead."

He grinned, "that doesn't make me sound old and boring?"

"No, it makes you sound pretty perfect to me."

"So," he ducked his head to make sure she met his eyes, "you're not freaking out anymore? You're ready to be married to a boring old author?"

She laughed, "I'm looking forward to it."


	40. Family Is An Art Form

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: Wow, I never had 500 reviews before guys, thank you all so much!!! **

Brooke looked around the house she felt like she had pretty much grown up in. She'd learnt so much here, learnt about herself, learnt how to care for others, how to respect rules like cleaning up after herself and curfews... she'd fallen in love here.

Lucas wandered through struggling with his tie, "you busy?"

She turned and smiled at him, biting her lip, he looked so handsome, "never too busy to help with a tie disaster."

He scowled, "it's not that bad!"

"Honey, you look like you're gonna try and strangle yourself with it- come here." He stepped over obediently and she concentrated on pushing the soft silk around, knowing his eyes were on her.

"The quiet before the storm," he murmured.

She scoffed, "are you referring to our wedding as a storm? Because if so-"

"Babe I was just implying it was nice to have a moment with you and be still before the craziness that is our family descends on my mom's house. So how do I look?"

"_Hmm_," she stepped back. "I think you look-" her face paled.

Lucas frowned, "Brooke?"

"You look- I looked- oh my god we're _looking_ at each other!"

"Uh yeah-"

"It's bad luck, oh my god _Luke_!" She covered her eyes immediately, "Luke!"

"What is going on in here?" Rachel appeared, half dressed and resting a hand on her hip, "Lucas Scott what have you done now?"

"I didn't do anything!" He protested, "Brooke was fixing my tie and the next thing I know she's going crazy and talking about bad luck and-" he saw Rachel raise her eyebrows and suddenly he understood. "Ohh... Ooooh," he took a step towards Brooke who was trying to back out of the room without knocking into anything and caught her arms, "babe, _babe_, look at me."

"No! I already told you it's bad luck."

"Brooke!" He pulled her hands away and smiled softly at her, "don't you think we've had enough of that to last a lifetime?"

She stared at him dubiously, "Luke-"

"Trust me," he said firmly, bending to kiss her quickly, "you go get prettied up with witchtina here-"

"Oh shut up Scott."

"- and I will see you up there in an hour ok?"

"You promise?"

He laughed, "I seem to remember it being _me_ who was the one convincing you to stick around once upon a time."

"I know," she smiled dolefully, "sorry."

Rachel reached out a hand, "come on you big freak," she ushered her best friend out of the room and then turned back to mouth at Lucas, "_you better be there or else I will end you_," she slid a finger across her neck and pointed at him darkly.

He narrowed his eyes at her, "_bite me_," he mouthed back.

"_I'm serious_!"

"_I know_," his eyes softened and he crossed his heart wordlessly. She nodded satisfied, winked, and then turned and left the room. Lucas rolled his eyes; the women in his life were _crazy_.

* * *

Brooke pulled cool cream satin over her head and tugged the dress straps over her shoulders, struggling for a moment and sighing, "why did I make this dress so complicated?"

Haley chuckled and tied the wide ribbon at the back, admiring the dress as she did so, "because you knew it would look amazing?"

"Wow Brooke; you look almost virginal in that," Rachel teased from the corner where she was sitting, _still_ half dressed and flicking through an old US Weekly.

"Shut up Rach- you haven't looked like that since you were like twelve."

"I was sixteen actually." Rachel snapped the magazine shut when she saw a picture of herself looking kind of messed up with some random actor on her arm she couldn't even remember the name of and dropped it to the side. That had been a long time ago.

As if reading her mind Haley stepped over and kicked it under the bed, "and you need to put more clothes on Rach."

"Ha, no-one ever says that to her," Millicent said smirking as she twined a white braid of flowers into Brooke's hair.

Rachel scowled and tugged her own dress straps up, "that's only because they appreciate a damn fine thing when they see it. Tell me what do people say to you when they see you naked Mills? Lemme guess, _oh crap my eyes_!"

"Isn't that normally Owen's line?"

"No it's your face."

"That makes no sense."

"So's your face."

"You're just being-"

"So's your face."

"Rachel!"

"Girls!" Brooke shimmied forward, the dress's long skirt swishing softly as she did so, "am I going to have to make you sit in the corner?"

Both Rachel and Millicent turned large, oh-so-innocent eyes towards, "no Brooke," they chorused.

"Damn you look beautiful," Millicent added.

"Really?" She smiled shyly, "you don't think-"

"I think for once in my life I agree with Mills," Rachel said firmly, standing up and brushing away imaginary fluff from Brooke's arm. She grabbed Brooke suddenly and grinned widely, "holy crap you're getting married!"

"I _know_!" Brooke squealed excitedly and for a second they both jumped up and down screaming nonsense whilst Haley covered her ears laughing.

"Ahem," Rachel stepped away trying to look composed, "cool."

"Sure," Brooke said shrugging nonchalantly, both of them grinned again and Millicent produced a camera.

"Smile you big girls." The four of them huddled together beaming and Brooke felt herself tearing up; she was so grateful for her friends, her _amazing_ friends.

"Oh god you guys," she pulled away, still clinging to Haley and Rachel's hands, "thank you so much."

"For what?"

"For being you! And for always being there and I'm so proud of you all and I love you all so, _so_ much and-"

"God Brooke stop!" Haley interrupted, "I _just_ did my make up!" She smoothed down the fabric of the dusty gold dress she was wearing- Brooke had finally found a colour that suited all of her bridesmaids- and fixed her with a stern look, "no more crying until we hit the aisle ok?"

"No promises," Rachel admitted, her eyes glittering suspiciously.

Jayden stamped into the room wrestling with his own tie, "mom do I have to wear this?"

"Of course you do," Brooke said smiling fondly at him.

"But I don't like it-" he pulled it off, "it hurts my neck and I look stupid!"

Rachel swept down to help him with it, "all the cool guys I know where ties bub, and you are _so_ much cooler than all of them put together."

He looked at her dubiously, "really?"

"Ladies," Owen appeared, adjusting his own tie and Rachel raised an eyebrow and smirked at Jayden.

"See dude?"

"Jaayy," Owen reached down to bump fists with the youngest in the room and nodded his approval, "looking sharp dude, you're gonna be knocking 'em away with a stick."

Jayden beamed up at him, "hey Owen."

Rachel straightened up and brushed her hands over Owen's shoulders, "you clean up pretty damn good bar boy."

"Right back at you sweetness," he said smiling crookedly and bending to kiss her.

"Get a room," Millicent coughed loudly.

Brooke giggled and took her son's hand, "we're gonna go and sit outside for a minute, do not let Haley have food or drink anywhere near her dress!"

"_Hey_!"

* * *

Brooke sat down on the swing bench out front, watching Karen direct people out back and pulled her son close, "you ok baby?"

"Uh huh, did you write your vows too mom?"

"My vows?"

"Yeah, I heard dad practicing his."

She laughed, "did he sound- I mean, did it sound ok?" She was worried about her vows- it really wasn't fair considering Lucas was a writer and all.

Jayden shrugged, "he said he loved you a lot and he called you pretty girl. Does he always call you that?"

"Yeah, it's kinda like his nick name for me," she said smiling softly, running a hand through his hair.

"Like AJ?"

"Kind of- when we were in school he used to call it me and it kind of stuck."

"Do you like it?"

She laughed, "yeah of course."

"I hate it when some of the kids at school call me squirt."

"Aw honey," she rubbed his shoulder, "is there anyone you want me to talk to?"

His eyes widened, "no!"

"Ok, ok," she held up her hands, "I won't. But is it upsetting you sweetie?"

"Nah, I can take them," he said shrugging casually.

"Jayden! That is _so _not the answer."

"I know mom. I wouldn't fight them."

"Well good, keep it that way mister."

"Uncle Nathan and Owen taught me some stuff though so, I'm ok there. But they also taught me I should walk away if it's not worth it. Uncle Nathan said that was especially important when it comes to people bugging you- if you ignore them they stop eventually."

She bit her lip, "you sure?"

"Uh huh."

They sat in silence for a moment and then she bent and kissed his forehead, "you're a good boy Jayden Sawyer."

He jumped off the bench, "thanks ma. I like your dress by the way."

"Ha, you tell me you're learning all kinds of things from your Uncles and then you compliment me? Cupboard love sweetheart, I'd know it anywhere."

Jayden gave her a heart warming smile, "can I go play with Jamie now?"

"Of course- but don't be late to be with your dad or your Aunt Haley will make sure your Playstation vanishes for a week."

* * *

At the altar Nathan and Owen had spent most of the morning setting up- with no swearing at all of course- Lucas tugged at his tie nervously. "Is she here yet?"

Nathan chuckled, "she will be, would you relax?"

"Dude shut up! You were sweating _buckets_ before Haley turned up at your wedding."

"That was because I had a crappy feeling about her drowning and oh yeah-" his brother turned to glare at him as they continued hissing at each other- "I was kinda right about having a bad feeling."

Luke's eyes widened in panic, "are you saying I should have a bad feeling? Oh my god Nate-" he grabbed Nathan's arm, squeezing it tightly.

"Ah Luke- circulation dude-"

"What if-"

"Get off me you big girl! Would you relax? Brooke's crazy in love with you and you are like ten seconds away from having everything you've been dreaming of since you were like, a scrawny high school kid so shut up and enjoy the music would you?"

"You suck. I let you have _your_ big freak out."

"Yeah well you're the big brother- you have to put up with it. But-" Nathan met his eyes firmly, "you're gonna be fine Luke. Brooke's gonna be out in a minute, you're gonna get married and you guys are finally gonna get to live out the whole happily ever after thing."

Andy appeared, messing with his own tie, "cannot believe I let my wife talk me into this," he murmured.

"I really appreciate this Andy," Lucas said quietly, "I know it's not exactly easy."

Andy chuckled, "Luke, I meant the tie- I'm more than honoured to do this for you guys- flew back especially," he said beaming.

"You're working the tie Andy man," Nathan said, clapping Andy on the back just as the music began to swell. "Holy shit," Nathan elbowed Lucas, "you ready? I mean it's kinda too late to back down but I reckon you could get over the fence before Rachel shot you."

"You suck," Lucas said sighing.

"I'm kidding dude, you're gonna be great at this part- you were built for her."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You two are kind of sickening you know?"

"Pfft, you're one to talk, you and Hales with your always and forever stuff- I mean _dude_."

"You wanna get started on whichof us is worse now? You're getting married with rose petals under your feet man."

"That wasn't my idea!"

"You didn't say no."

"I swear when we're back inside- I'm gonna beat you Nate."

"Well that'd be a neat trick."

"Boys," Andy muttered, "I'm starting to wonder if you I missed something while I was in Chicago and you two actually swapped bodies with the Jays."

"He started it."

"No I didn't!"

"Whatever man, shut up and let me get married in peace!"

* * *

"You ready honey?" Karen smiled and took Brooke's hand for a second, "you look beautiful by the way."

"Oh Karen thank you," Brooke whispered breathlessly, squeezing her hand back, "thank you for everything."

"Brooke, you really think you need to thank me? You've done a wonderful job all by yourself."

"But I learnt it all from you," Brooke insisted, "I learnt about compassion and kindness and god- I learnt about rules!"

Karen laughed, "well I'm glad I was able to help. And I want you to know, I'm so glad it's you honey, you're the perfect person to keep my broody son in order."

This time it was Brooke's turn to laugh and she wiped away tears quickly, "thank you."

"Ok," Haley rushed forward handing off bouquets of cream roses that matched the dresses, "Karen hon, you wanna go get seated? I know Owen and Skillz are good with babies but I'm sure between them Lily and AJ are probably beginning to test them."

The older woman smiled and kissed them both on the cheek, "I'm so lucky to have such a big family."

Millicent appeared, "you want me to go now Hales?"

"One second," Haley turned to face Brooke, "you ready girly?"

Brooke shivered, "oh my god, this is it."

"Brooke?"

"Yes, god of course I'm ready, I've been ready for like a million years, go Mills, just go!"

The brunette swept forward without a word and kissed her cheek, "I have a shovel and Rach has a shot gun if he ever screws up," she whispered quickly.

Brooke sniggered and pushed her friend forward, "just go!"

Haley pushed her hair back and then swallowed tightly, "you're uh- you're really marrying my best friend then."

"Seems that way," Brooke giggled, "guess we're gonna be officially related."

"Can't think of anyone I would rather have as a sister," Haley said softly before leaning forward and kissing her cheek. "See you up there."

Brooke watched her go, taking a shaky breath and then felt a hand touch her arm, "and then there were two." Rachel cocked her head to one side, "who'd have thought all those years ago when your boy decided he wanted to dance with me at that stupid Halloween party that we'd still be friends."

"He didn't _decide_ he wanted to dance with you, I made him," Brooke said cheekily.

Rachel laughed, "yeah well, think it was better that way anyway. He talked about you way too much when we went on that one ridiculous date; said you were the one and all even back then."

Brooke paused, "he did?"

"Yeah, didn't I ever tell you?"

"No!"

"Oh," Rachel's eyes lit up, "well I was half naked at the time so I guess I wasn't really listening."

"Rachel!"

"Oh sweetie I'm kidding. Seriously though, even then he was stubborn about you."

"I'm kinda glad you came to Tree Hill you know."

"Yeah," Rachel smiled softly, "me too."

Brooke let her go –eventually- they didn't hug often and Rachel complained about her taking advantage of her being emotional, but she didn't care and held on even more tightly. And finally it was just her, standing on the low wooden decking leading up to where Andy was standing with Jayden and Nathan on one side, Rachel, Haley and Millicent on the other. Karen and all her Tree Hill friends turning to beam at her, friends from New York looking smart and overly sophisticated all swapping their usual photogenic smirks for happy smiles. And then she found Luke's eyes and none of the nerves she'd had all morning were there anymore, none of the panic about all the years before or the old hurts- everything was gone as she took in his gorgeous and shy smile.

She took a breath and then walked forward.


	41. Where We All Belong

**A/N: as ever I own nothing. Aaaand I'm gonna be wrapping this up over the next two chapters, it's been really awesome and everyone's been so so supportive, but it's gotta stop somewhere and this BL is happy so, i'm keeping it that way!**

_We belong together,_

_Like the open seas and shore,_

_Wedded by the planet force,_

_We've all been spoken for._

Lucas took Brooke's hand and squeezed it gently as they both turned to look up at Andy. Their temporary minister beamed at them and then looked out to address their guests. "Now you all know that I am _not_ usually a minister but this is not what you would call your usual couple. Brooke and Lucas are an exception. I myself have known them since they were a couple of teenagers getting in trouble for breaking curfews and driving my wife to insanity on occasion."

Brooke flushed, _oh god_, she glanced at Karen who, to her relief, was chuckling.

"But even as youngsters Brooke and Lucas were willing to do anything for one another. They gave each other support and strength and I can guarantee that there wasn't a day when Lucas didn't get this look in his eyes that I came to recognise as the '_I'm thinking about Brooke Davis' _look." Andy pointed at him suddenly, "see? Look he's doing it right now!"

Lucas laughed and waved his hand away, "she's standing right in front of me, of course I'm thinking about her."

"Nah," Skillz interrupted from the front row, "I've seen that look right in the middle of ball games man. Like the kind of squinty thing he gets going," Skillz began to demonstrate, "and then he looks all happy and-"

"_Hey_!" Lucas was going red from his neck to his hairline and then looked at Brooke apologetically, "I- umm... I got nothing."

She shrugged easily, "I already knew you were whipped."

The entire group erupted into laughter and Andy clapped a hand on Luke's back, "nothing to be worried about Luke. Every man I know has a similar look- Nate's is particularly girly."

"Now wait a second," Nathan protested, "that's just-"

Brooke rolled her eyes, "can we get back on point please? Before you guys start arm wrestling?"

"Apologies Brooke," Andy flashed her a smile and then continued, "I'm a man of strong beliefs and I know Lucas is the same way. He loves his family fiercely and he'd do anything to protect them. He has loved Brooke Davis with a passion for a long time. People who don't know what they're talking about might have dismissed them as two kids who didn't have a clue what they were doing or what they wanted. But we know differently. We have seen it first hand and I for one feel privileged to finally see them come together and stand up in front of the world to confirm what some of us have known for years. Brooke and Lucas belong together. There's nothing else to it. I'm not good with the words so I'm gonna let Lucas and Brooke do the talking from now on but let's just say, I'm glad we're finally here!"

He smiled softly at them both and then tilted his head at his son in law, "you wanna lead the way Luke?"

"Sure, uh," Lucas cleared his throat nervously and Brooke squeezed his hands, trying to reassure him. He smiled gratefully at her, "you always know exactly what to do to make me feel better," he said quietly. "That's not in there but I figured it was kind of appropriate anyway- you always got me Brooke."

She bit her lip and reminded herself that she had planned to try and do the nine times table to prevent herself from crying to early, nine times one, nine, nine times two, eighteen, nine times three, twenty seven, nine times four, thirty- oh crap wait, thirty something...

_Stupid plan._

"I could talk about all the things I remember about us, I could tell you exactly what you were wearing on our first date and the way you laughed at my god awful jokes and I could probably still tell you what song was playing in the car on the way home. I could talk about anything and everything about us from the last few years Brooke, but I don't want to. Today is about the step we're taking into the future, together." His face lit up, "it is so amazing to be able to look at you and know you're my wife and that we have two beautiful boys and that we're a family, no matter what. I feel like the luckiest guy alive to finally be able to stand up here and say I love you and I am going to spend the rest of my life trying to make you just as happy as you have made me."

Oh screw it she was going to cry.

Andy looked momentarily moved and then blinked, "jeez man, I'm supposed to be behaving all official up here and you've got me tearing up! Er, Brooke you go while I compose myself."

She laughed and then looked back at Lucas, he smiled softly at her and she took a breath. "I've had a lot of different kinds of family growing up. I've been so lucky with my friends and with your mom and with Jay," she smiled softly at her son, her partner in crime, her little man who was growing up so beautifully. She swallowed hard and then smiled sweetly back at Lucas.

"And I had you. You taught me so much when we were just kids. And even though for a while we faltered but I've always known, deep down, that my heart belongs to you Lucas. You are my very best friend, the one person I could tell anything to, who would listen to me about anything, and more than that, the one person I want to be with and raise our sons with. I love you Luke, I'm not eloquent with it but there it is; I love you _so_ much, and we're in this together..." She paused and then glanced at Andy, "should I have said more?"

He laughed and touched her arm, "not at all Brooke- that was perfect. Look, you got Luke all choked up."

Lucas rolled his eyes, "am I not allowed to get emotional on my wedding day?"

"_Girl_," he heard Rachel mutter and he turned to narrow his eyes at her and then widened them in shock as she wiped her own cheek. She scowled and snapped at him, "what? I _do_ show emotion occasionally ok? Don't make a big deal about it or anything."

Brooke giggled and then bit her lip as Andy cleared his throat, "alright, now do you Lucas Eugene Scott, take Brooke Penelope Davis, to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, and all that jazz, for all the days of your life?"

Lucas smirked at Andy's own twist of the traditional vows and then realised he was supposed to be looking serious and _holy_ _cow_ he was actually getting married and oh crap now he'd taken forever to answer and- "I do," he said quickly.

Brooke raised an eyebrow at him, "you actually want Rach to hit you or something Scott?"

He grinned, "sorry babe, was just savouring the moment."

She rolled her eyes and Andy shook his head, "you two are throwing my game off with all the cuteness guys, save it for later ok?" They both nodded meekly and he chuckled, "now, do you Brooke Penelope Davis, take Lucas Eugene Scott, to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer and even when he's sitting in the corner brooding for days at a time, for all the days of your life?"

"I do," she said softly.

"Well alright then! You got some rings for me Nate, Rachel?"

They passed the rings between them and Brooke stared incredulously down at her hand as Lucas slipped the silver band on her finger, oh gosh, she was like, _officially_ Mrs Scott!

"Alrighty," Andy clapped his hands together beaming at them all, "then by the power invested in me by the state of North Carolina I now pronounce you husband and wife! Lucas, you may now kiss the lovely bride."

Lucas stepped forward, "kinda the best moment ever right?" he murmured softly.

"Uh huh- quit rambling and kiss me sweetie."

"Happy to-" Lucas was cut off as Brooke tugged on his tie and he laughed into the kiss, wrapping his arms around her gently.

"Finally!" Rachel said loudly.

"Amen!" Nathan agreed and everyone surrounding them stood up cheering and clapping.

* * *

"Congratulations!" Haley threw her arms around Brooke when she and Lucas arrived at Tric, only _slightly_ late, and Brooke grinned and hugged her back.

"Thank you!"

Her friend pulled away to straighten Lucas' tie, "you guys don't look dishevelled and like you were just making out in the car _at all_."

"Give us a break we just got married," Lucas said pushing her shoulder gently and laughing happily.

"Dude congrats," Nathan patted his brother's shoulder before squeezing it tightly, "I got a forty five and a shovel remember." He pulled back smirking, "that never gets old."

"You're old," Lucas muttered crossly.

Nathan laughed, "you're older."

"You're like old and _married_."

"And now so are you."

"I hate you."

"Hey man, where's the love? Aren't you supposed to be full of the joy it being your wedding day and all?"

"It comes and goes," Lucas scowled at him, "depending on who I'm talking to."

"Well you should show _me _some love cos I'm like the one who was all _'you and Brooke are meant to be, go tell her how you feel' _like a million years ago- you owe me."

"Oh yeah, the reason Brooke and I are together now is because of something you said when you were drunk and bitter, _sure_."

"Dude! Don't knock the faith- and I wasn't _that _drunk and bitter."

"You smelt like a brewery for a _month_."

Nathan's face fell, "hey! You smelt worse when you were brooding over Brooke."

"I smell like a meadow," Lucas protested, "at all times."

"You're in denial dude."

"You two could do this all day couldn't you?" Haley asked, both she and Brooke looking slightly dazed watching the pair of them.

Both brothers beamed, "you want us to keep going?" Nathan threw an arm over Lucas's shoulder, "cos I got more-"

"No! No please stop, it's riveting for all of ten seconds and then we remember that we've heard it for five years and we get bored."

"Oh, well, we don't wanna bore you," Lucas said in mock horror before darting forward and sweeping Brooke into a dipped kiss.

"You're showing me up man," Nathan said groaning and tugging his wife towards the top table, "I'm gonna have to write poetry or something to compete with those vows."

"Mr and Mrs Scott, oh my god how exciting!" Bevin flew at her friends and wrapped her arms around both their shoulders, "and Brooke you look so beautiful I swear on my wedding day I got chocolate cake on the side of my dress and Skillz spilt champagne all across the top part and he tripped on my veil when we were dancing and I didn't even know if I was gonna make it till the end of the night with the shoes I was wearing but your shoes are probably way more comfortable than mine." She drew a breath, pushing her hair back and beaming, "anyway I'm gonna go find Skillz, congratulations!"

Lucas blinked looking dazed as she danced away, "did uh- was I supposed to catch any of that?"

Brooke chuckled, slipping her hand into his, "basically, she was happy for us baby."

"Well... couldn't she have just said that?"

"She did! Honey trust me," she squeezed his hand, "it's better if you let it all wash over you- now come on, we got a cake to cut."

His eyes lit up, "yes! Oh I have been looking forward to that cake all day!" His face fell suddenly, "not that I wasn't looking forward to the rest I just meant-"

Brooke laughed and kissed his cheek, "I knew what you meant."

"Ugh you two already look disgustingly happy," Rachel said smirking when they reached the top table, "I hope my speech doesn't put a _damper_ on anything."

"I thought you weren't allowed to perform in public anymore," Lucas shot back, "weren't you arrested one too many times?"

"Nope. No-one would _ever_ tell me to stop doing something I was good at," she said lightly, beginning to tap her glass before Lucas could retort.

Brooke squeezed his hand in warning, _no fighting_, she mouthed. He winked in return and she dimpled back at him.

"Alright, listen up ladies and gents."

Owen wolf whistled loudly and Rachel actually blushed before sending him a small frown as if to say _not now, I'm concentrating!_ and then smiled widely. "So mostly, I never used to like Lucas very much." Lucas choked on air and Brooke patted him on the back as Rachel continued blithely, "I used to think he was kinda indecisive, a bit of a chicken and he was a fan of his angst, oh _boy_ was he a fan of his angst." She smirked, "kinda did the whole scrunchy crying thing quite a bit, y'all know the look I'm talking about."

Along the table Nathan and Andy both sniggered into their drinks and Lucas narrowed his eyes at them, _traitors_.

"But over the years I have come to realise that there is more to Brooke's boy than a skinny set of limbs. He's one of the good guys." She paused and suddenly sent Lucas such a warm smile that he wondered if Owen was sitting behind him and resisted turning around to check. "He's made some mistakes but hell if I'm one to talk- and like me he has tried _so_ hard to make them right. It's the earnestness and the refusal to give up when he's fighting for the people he loves that makes you root for him. He's kind and generous and, an _amazing_ father. And the way he loves Brooke- it's right there in the way they look at each other; you just know they've got each other's backs." She looked at him again, "you've got a heart of gold underneath that mess of hair Lucas Scott- of course if you ever do anything to hurt my best friend I swear I'll break your face..."

He shifted uneasily, oh _crap_.

Then she smiled again and he felt like he was gonna have a heart attack with all the switching emotions, "but I truly believe that you won't. You would never be fortunate enough to meet a woman half as amazing, beautiful and talented as Brooke and I know you _know_ that. Brooke Penelope Davis, you are one of a kind." Rachel turned to her, eyes shining, "you saved my life in so many ways, and more than that you made me feel like I was a worthy friend. You make people feel good about themselves Brooke- and that's so special. You look after everyone around you and Jay is growing up to be my favourite person in the entire world," she winked at her godson who waved happily back, "because he is following in _your_ footsteps. I love you and I am so proud of you and so honoured to be a part of this family-" she lifted her glass, "we made it and _you_ made it and you guys have built a life together and I wish you both _all_ the happiness in the world as you continue it together."

"To the bride and groom," Owen yelled, standing to wind an arm around Rachel's waist as she wiped her eyes and everybody else stood and chorused with them.

Brooke leant forward to kiss Lucas softly and then stood and threw her arms tightly around the redhead's neck, "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said about him," she whispered in her ear before pulling away.

Rachel shrugged, both of them half blushing and half crying, "had to save it for some time special right?"

"God you are _impossible_! I love you though, love you lots."

"You're getting soppy in your old married age," Rachel murmured, "but I guess I kinda love you too."

Quietly the strains of _Everything_ by Lifehouse began to play and Lucas placed a hand on Brooke's back to look at them both, "so uh- that was a weird mix of horrifyingly mean and heart wrenchingly beautiful-"

"You gonna cry on me?" Rachel cut in.

He rolled his eyes and ignored her, "but thank you anyway and- you mind if I steal my wife for our first dance?"

"Sure," Rachel nodded shortly, "I'm just um- gonna sit down quietly, while you guys-" her voice hitched, "have your first dance," she sat immediately and covered her face in her hands.

Lucas smirked, "such a girl." Then he turned to Brooke and stopped smirking- she seriously looked more damn _beautiful_ every time he glanced at her. His breath caught, you uh- you wanna dance?"

"Absolutely Mr Scott."

He took her hand, "you think you're gonna be _Mrs _Scott?"

"Well I do love Davis, but... I think I'd kinda like to be a Scott," she said shyly.

His smile widened and he pulled her close as they swayed across the dance floor, "sounds good to me."

_You are the strength, that keeps me walking,_

_You are the hope, that keeps me trusting,_

_You are the light, to my soul,_

_You are my purpose, my everything._

* * *

"So," Haley sat down next to Brooke several hours later and smiled, "Mrs Scott?"

"That would be me," Brooke said smiling back, "Mrs Scott senior."

"Oh god that makes me sound old!"

"Hales, you're _younger _than me!"

"By like three months."

"Details," Brooke shrugged, "you happy?"

"Very," Haley giggled, adjusting Gracie on her shoulder, "are you?"

"I am," Brooke sighed dreamily, "it's almost surreal, I got everything I ever wanted and all I had to do was come home- who'd have thought?"

"I knew," her friend said softly, "it was all just waiting for you."

"I know- I just... didn't feel ready..."

"And now?"

"I feel _safe_ Hales," she took a shaky breath, "and I feel like it's ok to feel that." She blinked and pulled a face, "is that stupid?"

"No, it sounds like exactly the kind of romantic stuff you're allowed to say on your wedding day sweetie."

Brooke chuckled, "not too cheesy?"

Haley snorted, "have you met your husband?"

"Heyy, you being rude about me Hales?" Lucas sat down next to them both, tugging his wife onto his lap and resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Nope, we were speaking about you fondly," Haley said winking at Brooke.

"We would never say anything mean about you baby," Brooke agreed patting his cheek.

"Damn straight."

"Smile!" Millicent demanded of the three of them as she appeared, waving a camera excitedly. She'd been taking photographs all day claiming that the professional might get the pretty shots but she'd get the ones they'd put up on the wall in the end. So far she'd managed to get a beautiful one of Brooke pushing her hair back and laughing softly during the ceremony and another of Jayden jumping into Luke's arms on the dance floor during Safety Dance. She'd also sneaked one of Rachel and Owen having a quiet moment at the top table with her sitting on his lap, hands holding his face while he clutched her elbows, talking quietly; Rachel radiated with the same happiness Brooke did and for once Millicent had chosen not to go and mock her friend for it. Her favourite however was of all four Scotts standing by the bar, Brooke clutching Lucas' tie and whispering something in her ear while she laughed, her other hand in Haley's who was smiling up at Nathan while he was leaning down to kiss her. It looked like a shot for a movie with the girls in gorgeous dresses and the boys looking handsome in their tuxes; she was quite proud of it actually.

Haley laughed, "ok so I think I'm officially blind with all the cameras around here and we really need to take Gracie home before she gets cranky and the rest of the night is just photographs of us all looking exhausted and trying to stop her crying."

"It would be a pretty realistic portrait to be fair," Nathan said fondly, lifting his daughter up gently and kissing her forehead.

"You want us to take the boys back as well?"

"They're staying with my ma tonight," Lucas said, suddenly flushing, "you know, uh, so they don't have to be here till the end and they don't get tired and-"

"You guys aren't fooling anyone," Millicent cut in, smirking and taking a photograph of the couple looking acutely embarrassed as Brooke hid her face in Lucas's neck.

"Fine," Brooke blurted out, brave suddenly "we're going home because we _can_ and this was our _wedding_ and you guys are all disgraceful in your own ways- sex in a _theatre_," she shot at Millie who opened her mouth to protest and then closed it quickly, "and in the middle of a _football field_," she said looking pointedly at Nathan and Haley. Then she smirked, grabbed Luke's hand and said, "so we're gonna go say goodbye to the boys, thank you all for coming, we love everyone but do _not_ call us tomorrow."

Lucas beamed at his friends and then tilted his head in Brooke's direction, "yeah, what my _wife_ said."


	42. Forever Yours, Faithfully

**AN: I kind of dilemma'd for a really long time about whether or not to just click complete or tie this up but i decided i wanted to do one final chapter where everyone's lives are sort of... not laid out but we get some flashforwards. So i apologise about the really long wait but it took me a while to blast it out in the end! Lots and lots of hearts to everyone who has seen me through this story and supported it from the start and everyone who suggested things or noticed stuff i needed to pick up. i have appreciated all of it and you guys have been really awesome. **

**Disclaimer: for the last time with this fic, sob! i do not own anything. i just created my own where Rachel is how i wish she had had more of a chance to be on the show, there's lots more Owen and i wasn't very nice to Peyton. weird huh. who'd have thought i'd write a BL fic and love it so. i hope it has been a fun ride for all of y'all too. hearts! Also this is kind of... schmoopy? so yeah... i couldn't stop lol.**

Brooke rubbed her hands together and then blew on them, her breath clouding out in front of her. For early October it was unusually cold. Around her the park was bathed in afternoon sun and it was glittering softly. She pulled out her camera and leant forward on the bench to take a picture of a nearby holly bush. Photography was a new hobby she'd developed over the summer, leading to their entire living room wall being covered with endless shots of Lucas, Jayden and AJ, on holiday, at the zoo, in the pool or just eating tea. He favourite was of Lucas in a sharp black suit, beaming whilst holding AJ, his eyes twinkling right at her with Jayden leaning over his shoulder and laughing wildly at something. She'd taken it right before the store opened and it sat pride of place on her bedside table.

There were also several hundred of Hales, Nathan, Jamie, Gracie, Millicent (although she tried extremely hard to take down one in particular where she was in the middle of falling over a basketball) and a very smiley Rachel waving from the back of a _Just Married_ style car with Owen kissing her cheek. She shook her head, smiling faintly to herself, Rachel Gattina getting married, who would have thought? Owen had come over for breakfast a few days before the tiny wedding- held at Rachel's insistence in Brooke and Luke's fancier of two living rooms (where no prying cameras could find them) and been met with the entire clan all sitting at the table with their arms folded and a list of ways they could kill him if he ever hurt her. Brooke had actually gotten the idea from Rachel herself who revealed she'd done something similar with Lucas.

Number twenty seven had been her favourite; made to stand against a wall whilst they all threw basketballs at him until you know, he just keeled over. Gruesome but also kind of poetic.

AJ snuffled beside her and she leant over to adjust his blanket. He was a quieter baby than Jayden had been but he was a fast learner, grabbing hands, trying to eat picture books and smiling sunnily up at them all. His smile already lit up her world and he was going to be the spitting image of his father; she could tell.

"Mom watch!" Jayden called to her from the top of the monkey bars and she looked up just in time to see him swing under them and twist back up.

Ignoring the immediate panic of seeing her son attempt acrobatics without giant mattresses placed underneath him she laughed and waved a hand, "you're pretty good honey, be careful!"

She could see him rolling his eyes from where she was sitting and she chuckled, "I mean it!"

"I'm fine!" He dropped to the ground below and charged over to her. He curled up next to her and like always leant over to stare at AJ. Her two sons were equally fascinated with one another and Jayden liked nothing more than to sit with his brother for hours on end, telling him stories about pirates and spaceships whilst AJ listened on, apparently enthralled by the sound of his big brother's voice.

Brooke tugged him closer and smiled softly at them both, "you hungry baby?"

Jayden nodded, "can we go to Grandma's?"

"Sure," she got up as he slid off the bench and grabbed her hand. She knew there was a time limit on how long Jayden would be comfortable reaching for her hand in public and she treasured every moment he did so now. "Come on then, let's go pester dad and get cookies."

_In life you can alwayscome up with reasons to give up, but if you don't you might just find love in places you never imagined, in a new relationship or in your work- _

_Or in your children._

"So the other day I met with some folks who were talking about making my book into a film."

"What?" Brooke let Lucas twirl her away and then pull her close again before continuing, "Lucas that's amazing! Which storyline is it gonna focus on?"

He grinned as he looked down at her, "the most important one."

The crowd was crazy and Brooke couldn't believe she'd ever thrived on this kind of madness. People were pushing her in all kinds of directions and she'd barely managed to take a sip of wine in between having it knocked continuously into her own face. Once again she found herself moving too fast for her own feet to keep up with and she was totally going down and-

"Once again I believe I have my point proved about why wearing those shoes is dangerous," Lucas murmured in her ear as he caught her gently and helped her stand upright.

She scoffed, "but then I wouldn't be able to do this," she barely had to go up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

He smiled when she pulled away, narrowing his eyes at her, "should have been a lawyer baby."

"I doubt you'd have been comfortable with me using my argument strategies on anyone else."

"Now that's true, you could have just been my lawyer though."

She poked him in the ribs and turned to face the podium that was set up on the grand staircase of IMG Model headquarters. An elegant woman in a gold dress- that Brooke recognised with a shock of glee was one of her own- made her way down the stairs and smiled warmly at them all.

"_Ladies and gentlemen, welcome."_

"Why the hell do we still have to come to these things?" Rachel appeared beside Brooke, tugging at her dress crossly, "I am so hot I think my face is gonna melt off."

"Impossible," Lucas muttered, "it takes seriously extreme heat to melt concrete."

Rachel scowled at him, "bite me Scott, you weren't even invited tonight."

"I was," he retorted somewhat primly, "the invitation said Miss Davis plus one. And _I'm _the plus one."

"Wow, score."

"Hey shut up- you're the evil one who wrote _Miss_, we've been married for a while now-"

"Lucas," Brooke hissed, "not now."

"She called me a plus one!"

"_And that is why we are here tonight, to honour a woman who has worked so very hard for this agency, who has broken boundaries and created awe with so many of her photographs. But we lose her to a good cause and tonight we are here to wish this elegant-"_

"You _are_ a plus one Lucas; I can do what I want seeing as this is _my_ party."

"_and beautiful woman. So let us join her family and friends-"_

"I really don't like you right now."

"Well I've never liked you!"

"I hope you trip and fall on your face up there."

Rachel's eyes suddenly dissolved into tears and Brooke turned to look at her husband in horror, "now look what you've done!"

"Why would you say such a horrible thing Lucas?"

"Wait, Rachel-"

"_Miss Rachel Gattina!" _

The room burst into applause and Owen appeared looking insanely ruffled, "babe I'm so sorry I'm late, the bouncer wouldn't let me in- he really didn't believe that you were married- and then I couldn't get through the crowd and-"

"Ugh I _hate_ New York!"

There was a silence and Rachel froze realising the whole room had heard her outburst. She rolled her eyes, "oh come on, none of you really like it either; this room is ridiculously hot, your shoes are probably killing you and there isn't even any good shrimp! Yay thank you so much for having this party in my name despite not even having my husband on the bloody guest list and spending years treating me like crap and ensuring I could never eat what I wanted or be with my family, now I'm going home to do exactly that!" She began to march through the room, leaving her family staring flabbergasted in her wake, "_now _Owen!" She shrieked a second later.

He smiled weakly at the people staring at them, "she's a tempestuous one! Pregnancy it uh- hormones..." He trailed off and made a peace sign as he began to follow Rachel, "well I aint sticking around, I love my wife y'all!"

_So do I get to be a part of this world?_

_The biggest part._

"So dip, yogurt, celery, cake-" Millicent fake smiled as she read out the list, "you realise once in a lifetime this list would actually consist of cake and vodka?"

Broke snorted, "no list of mine."

"I know, I was just... considering how much my life has changed since I moved to Tree Hill and uh- got fat."

"Honey you're not fat."

"Well I'm not thin anymore. I used to rival Rachel."

"No you didn't," Rachel cut in, "it's all very well wearing rose tinted glasses about the past sweetie but don't _delude _yourself, you have never been, and never will be, thinner or more beautiful than me. And you will die lonely and fat."

"Rachel!"

"What? Too mean? I take back the lonely bit- i'll buy you a cat."

"Actually," Millicent smirked, "I've been seeing someone for a while now."

"Does he know you're afraid of water and can't read? Because if he doesn't I'd be happy to tell him."

"Oh ha ha and no, actually, he's kind of wonderful." Brooke noticed the wicked gleam in her friend's eyes and began to think this wasn't going to be good. "His name is Logan and he's so freaking gorgeous and he has this intelligence that oh _man_- I just can't compete with."

Rachel leant forward pulling a sympathetic face, "oh honey, did you see him on tv? Is it time for us to call the special men in white coats?"

"Shut _up_! I haven't even got to the best part yet. He's funny and kind and he loves me and he has an adorable son about Jayden's age and-"

Rachel's jaw fell open.

"- and it's _so _funny because he has this awesome brother but this witch of a sister in law and I told him not to worry because I know how to handle witches; I've been dealing with one in particular for years and then he said that's so funny, she sounds kind of familiar and then he said he'd totally love to spend the rest of his life with me if I could protect him from the wicked witch so I guess that means that," she clasped her hands together, beaming at Rachel, "we're going to be sisters!"

"What?" Brooke shrieked and stood up in excitement, clapping her hands, "you guys got engaged? I can't believe you kept this a secret and we're going to have words about that but I am so thrilled! Can I design the-"

"Oh _hell _no!"

"Momma! You said a bad word!"

Rachel whirled around wide eyed to look at her daughter and quickly smiled, "I uh- I stubbed my toe honey and you know what daddy says about that."

Izzie nodded seriously, "if a grown up ever gets hurt, they might say a bad word by axdent."

"Her mother's daughter," Millicent muttered, Rachel shot daggers at her.

"_Accident_ sweetie," Rachel beamed at Izzie and kissed her quickly, "did you come in for some juice?"

"Yes please."

"Except so much more polite."

"Millicent I swear to god- Izzie baby why don't you go on and get a juice box from the fridge, mommy will do the straw if you bring it back in here."

"Ok."

Rachel advanced to where Millicent was sitting, hands on hips, "you've been dating Logan? _Owen's_ Logan?"

"Mhm," Millicent smiled sweetly, "for about six months now. We met when I was coming to pick Izzie up from her play date with Ben."

"Damn I _knew_ I should have gotten a nanny to do that kind of thing."

"But Rach," Millicent pouted, "don't you want to be sisters and stay up late braiding each other's hair and talking about boys? Don't you love me?"

"Ugh," Rachel sat down heavily, inhaling and then couldn't help but smile, "oh crap, we're gonna be sisters."

"Damn right!"

Brooke grinned and took a picture of the two of them smiling at one another- it really didn't happen often, despite their fierce love for each other they were always too busy bickering- it was kind of hilarious and ironic really.

Lucas was going to have a field day teasing Rachel.

_I hate you!_

_She's so sweet._

"So how was Vegas?"

"Ugh," Haley collapsed on the worn cream sofa and took the coffee Brooke handed her gratefully, "Keller lost so much freaking money with my husband I thought we weren't going to afford the road trip money back."

"I still can't believe Nathan managed to convince you to go on his annual road trip with Keller."

Haley scrunched up her nose, "I know, I know, what was I thinking?"

"You got an awesome tan; that's something."

"Yeah, I spent most of the week outside, avoiding Tweedledum and Dee inside. They always look so stupid in their poker get ups- I think Grace had a heart attack when she saw them dressed up like that in photographs from last year."

"Well she should thank her lucky stars she has at least one cool parent; Jayden is convinced Lucas and I are eventually going to make him self implode out of embarassment at a school event."

Haley smiled softly and squeezed her hand, "and all ok your end apart from the son that thinks his parents are out to get him?"

Brooke nodded, blowing her fringe out of eyes and for a split second Haley felt like they were sixteen again, sitting in their shared apartment talking about the boys they weren't supposed to be thinking about.

"Yup, Lucas spent the day waiting for the Jays at the airport and Grace and I went shopping with Rach, Izzie and Aimes."

Haley shook her head, rolling her eyes, "I bow down to you- I could not go shopping with the Gattina women."

"Eh, I didn't let them buy coffee all day- that helped."

"Wise decision."

"Mom! Mom are you in here?"

"Ma?"

"In here guys!"

Their two boys appeared, tanned and grinning back from their school trip and collapsed beside them.

"You guys have a good time?"

"So awesome- Kelly Jones fell off the side of the boat and there were these alarms going off and the boat turned round and Mr Grey dived in after her and everything."

"Jamie got it on film!"

"I don't think you guys should go away again."

"Come on mom, i know you did some stupid things when you were younger."

"I never jumped off a boat!"

"Dad did- he told us- he and Chris did it once."

"Oh yeah that reminds me, did dad tell you that Chris wants to cameo in the next movie?"

"It's gonna be so freaking hilarious. That guy is so much cooler than the rest of you oldies."

"Chris is actually older than us," Haley pointed out before scrunching up her nose, "which actually makes him kind of weird for hanging out with us in the first place."

Brooke scoffed, "Keller _is _weird."

Jayden shrugged, "I like him, just not as much as dad."

"Same here," both Haley and Brooke chorused in amusement.

_Brooke, I'm sorry, what you did with Chris, it's ok._

_It's not. It can't be. It's too much to forgive!_

_Well that's too bad, because I forgive you._

"Check it out babe- newest model and everything."

Brooke frowned, "but I like your car now."

"Yeah but this is- this is amazing."

She stepped towards Lucas, frowning and running her hands through his hair, "are you having a midlife crisis sweetie?"

"What? No! Babe this is just an amazing car and Julian said with the sales of the latest film being the way they are- by the way did you know people actually _like _Rachel's character in the films?" He frowned, "I knew I should have written her closer to the mark."

"You used actual dialogue between the two of you, I'm thinking if they like her it's for a reason Luke."

He glowered at her for a moment, "so not cool- I'm supposed to be the lead!"

"Well, you get the girl," she said softly, "that's something is it not?"

They looked at one another across the drive and he smiled, "it's everything."

"Uh god guys, take the moment elsewhere please," AJ yelled as he walked up the drive with his bag, "a man does not want to get home from a hard day's work and see his parents making stupid lovey dovey eyes at each other."

"Aw baby," Brooke ruffled his hair as he got closer, "one day you'll be doing the exact same thing."

AJ flushed and ducked away, "mom, don't even say things like that," he shuddered, "ugh no." His eyes landed on the car, "wow! Dad are you buying this?"

"I don't know," Lucas glanced at his wife- who rolled her eyes- and then at his son excitedly, "you wanna take it for a spin?"

"Yeah! Can I drive?"

"Hell no kid, but nice try."

AJ pouted and then dropped his bag on the porch and dived for the front passenger seat, settling in and running his hand across the leather, "this is freaking sweet!"

"See? The boy's god good taste."

"We are not buying a ridiculous sports car Lucas!"

"Oh we so are," AJ said firmly, "Jay'll side with me, family vote makes three versus you Ma, we win."

She tried to scowl but grinned instead as AJ and Lucas both beamed happily at her before zipping away and out of the drive.

"Since when is my life run by Scott men?" She said exasperatedly to herself.

Since _forever _her brain answered nicely.

Stupid correct brain.

_There's this ache in my heart where Lucas used to be._

Brooke watched the football sail through the air and smiled widely as number twenty two caught it easily, throwing himself over the finish line.

"Good," Coach yelled, "again!"

She pulled out her camera and took a few snaps in the soft afternoon sunlight. The rays caught on the team and created a feel of nostalgia and anticipation. They were preparing for the game tomorrow night but she knew they were ready. She'd watched them play together and with slightly different formations and this one worked best, this one was _the _best. And she wasn't even saying that as someone who was _totally_ biased.

"Ma!" Jayden tugged off his helmet as he jogged towards her, his dark hair falling his eyes, "did you see that catch?"

"I did honey; it was awesome."

He grinned and collapsed next to her, grabbing at one of the drinks she'd bought, "well duh."

She chuckled, "glad to see you've got the whole humble thing down."

"I'm not being arrogant Ma, just stating the truth." He flashed a trademark Scott smile complete with Davis dimples and then looked around, "where's AJ?"

"Still in the library."

Jay snorted, "kid is such a geek."

Brooke cuffed him on the back of the head, "he likes his books, he's like his father, that doesn't make him a geek."

"Mom I hate to break it to you but dad is like, King of the Geeks. Rach sat me down and told me that when I was six."

"Well, yes, your father is a little bit of a geek," she said fondly, "but leave your brother alone."

"You know I don't mean it," Jay's handsome face softened on the subject of his brother. He stood up to toss another bottle of water at Jamie who was coming up the bleachers towards them.

"Thanks man, hey Momma D," he smiled widely and dropped onto the bleacher in front. "Oh god my back is killing me."

"Can't handle the heat old man?" Jayden grinned at his cousin, darting up the bleachers to avoid the sharp punch Jamie attempted to send his way. "Easy now, you don't wanna strain anything else!"

"You're older than me punk," Jamie said crossly and squeezing water out of his bottle onto Jayden's legs.

Jayden yelped and dived behind his mother, Brooke rolled her eyes affectionately, "so you guys ready to go or do I need to find some wheelchairs to push you home in?"

"Ready," Jamie exclaimed as he jumped up, punching Jayden on his way down the bleachers. "Hey momma D, did Jay tell you he was gonna ask Alicia Frank out?"

"What? No!" She whirled around to look at Jayden excitedly, "since when have you liked her? I thought you were crushing on Meredith Sonner."

"Um, last year ma and dude shut up!"

"Aw sweetie you've gone bright red."

Jamie smirked, "young love, so sweet. Hey, maybe he'll write a book about her too, you know, walk in Uncle Luke's footsteps. Like my mother was my father's true love... so was Alicia Frank mine. Her hair was brighter than the sun and her eyes were like clear blue pools-"

"Oh I am gonna _kill_ you Jamie."

"Only if you can catch me fool."

The two of them raced across the car park, kicking up dust and Brooke watched them fondly before pulling out her cell, "Hales, it's me, what do you know about Alicia Frank?"

_If you need to hear why I love you, I can go on all night._

Silently Lucas reached out and took Brooke's hand while she tried not to cry.

"Take deep breaths baby."

"I'm fine, really Luke."

"It's ok Brooke, you're allowed to be emotional."

"Don't patronise me!"

"Inside voice Brooke, inside voice."

"Oh shut up about inside voices," she said crossly before feeling a fresh surge of tears.

"Oh god," Rachel groaned, adjusting her hat before sitting down on Brooke's other side, "really Brooke? You're gonna cry?"

"Shut up, I am not."

"Yeah shut up Rachel," Lucas said smugly, wrapping an arm around Brooke's shoulders.

"Wow first time in nearly twenty years your wife sides with you instead of me Luke, I think I might faint."

"Don't even think about it mom, the drama queen thing is _so_ out," Izzie sat down, tugging at her dress and looking so exactly like her mother as she scolded her Brooke had to laugh.

Rachel smiled at her fondly as if thinking the same thing and then met Brooke's eyes, "you ready for this Brookie?"

"Not even close," Brooke replied, breathing in and then exhaling hard, "oh god." Rachel took her free hand and squeezed it, "we're all here for you."

"Oh come on! It's not fair that Brooke gets to be an emotional wreck and Nathan mocked me all the way over here for weeping like a baby," Haley exclaimed as she took a seat next to Lucas, kissing his cheek as a hello.

Nathan smirked, "babe, you nearly ran us off the road."

"I did not!"

"Ma, don't listen to dad, he was getting misty eyed too," Grace said soothingly, rubbing his mother's back.

"Traitor," Nathan muttered, his eyes twinkling even as he tried to frown at his daughter.

She laughed, "scary dad, real scary."

"Hey- do you want me to come out on the porch next Friday brandishing my shot gun when Eric Sanders comes to pick you up?"

"God no! You're amazing and terrifying and I love you lots and lots-"

"-just please don't embarrass you in front of your date? Sure thing honey." Grace looked relieved and Nathan shrugged, "besides, he and I already had a little talk." Nathan cracked his knuckles and Lucas nodded understandingly at his brother over Grace's head.

"Dad!"

"You guys should see how stupid Jsquared look in their gowns man!" AJ announced as he sat down and handed the camera around, "I got some _beautiful _shots."

Izzie snorted, "yeah Jamie looks like he's about to something violent to your head."

"He tried," AJ flexed his arm muscles, "but I'm too much for them to handle."

"Is that in your dreams?" She asked drily.

He snatched the camera back off her, "not cool."

"And yet, even by breathing I'm just so much cooler than you."

"Dad! Stop Izzie from picking on me."

"Sorry AJ, it's a tradition that Gattina women are mean to Scott men, you gotta take it like a man."

"Pfft, he could try, but he would _so_ not be successful."

"I hope you fall on your _face _when it's your turn to walk up those steps. And I'll laugh and point and take pictures."

"I'll still look better than you."

"Owen!" Rachel stood up beaming to wave and kissing him- making Izzie squirm and hiss "_mom_!" Rachel ignored her and glanced over Owen's shoulder "oh good, you bought the rest of the family," she said flatly, waving to her own daughter and then scowling at Millicent.

Millicent smiled sweetly as she came over holding Logan's hand, Ben and Rachel's youngest, Amelia following, dark heads bent together as they discussed the latest Lord of The Rings book they were reading; it was a joy in Lucas's life that Rachel's girls were both exceptionally smart and well read, he teased her relentlessly that they were smarter than her.

Rachel may or may not have given him a black eye over it once by accidently "passing" him a bowl of dip and knocking it in his face. _Accidently_ of course.

"So wonderful to see you Rachel, that hat is... _nice_. Is it new?"

"Ugh, sit on the end over there Mills, I don't want your heavy breathing to distract me all through the ceremony."

Millicent grinned, ignoring her, "hey chickens," she said to the rest of the gathering, Izzie got up to hug her and AJ and Grace both waved from where they were sitting. Brooke tried to smile bravely and Millicent rolled her eyes, "god you and Hales both gave me the exact same _I'm trying to be brave_ smile, you're such wimps!"

Brooke was about to respond when the lights dimmed and Haley shushed everyone, passing Brooke another tissue, "be brave Mrs Scott."

"Right back at you."

Nathan chuckled as his wife sniffed and kissed the top of her head, "remember to breathe babe."

"Oh you'll cry too you baby," she said scoffing.

He shushed her crossly and looked towards the front where Mrs Rosenbaum was welcoming them all to the senior year's graduation ceremony.

"This is it then," Lucas murmured, "our boy's all grown up."

Brooke did have to take a deep breath then, blinking rapidly as she gazed up at her gorgeous boy who was- oh- trying to knock Jamie's hat off surreptitiously. She sighed, did those two _never _behave? The two of them continued to elbow each other throughout the speeches and when Jamie finally bucked forward before stepping quickly back into line Lucas let out a whispered whoop and Nathan snorted, "that wasn't even fair- Jamie was distracted."

"It's a fact man, the older Scott man always wins."

"Stop encouraging them," Brooke hissed, "they're worse than you two."

"We should get them to do some one on one after this thing's ends," Nathan said excitedly, his eyes lighting up.

"This thing will never end," AJ groaned, "it's the longest four hours of torture ever."

"I'd say that ridiculous debate competition you made us all go to last month was worse actually," Izzie said sweetly and he narrowed his eyes at her in warning.

"Better yet," Lucas muttered back, serenely ignoring the fight breaking out beside him, "dude we should go get a game going. Give the guys a call, we could totally play!"

Brooke giggled at his excitement and patted his knee, "you're not worried about, I don't know, straining anything?"

"Hey I live with _you_, I get a whole lot of practice running around and being in stressful situations twenty four seven." She stuck her tongue out at him and he smiled adoringly back at her, "you know I love every minute of it."

"Damn right you do."

"And I love you."

"Well duh." She looked back at him for a second, surroundings forgotten for a moment as so much love passed between them. It felt like she fell more and more in love with him every day. His eyes softened as if he was reading her thoughts and he leant forward to kiss her briefly before they heard;

"_James Lucas Scott_," and their whole row stood up cheering. Izzie and AJ were still jostling each other, Haley was wiping at her eyes while Nathan threw his arms up in the air beaming at his son and Owen swung his arm around making the weird noises Brooke never quite understood that guys made whilst watching sports.

Jamie grinned and gave them all a mini bow before disappearing off to the side and finally, oh god she so wasn't ready but;

"_Jayden Sawyer Scott_."

They all cheered again and Brooke ignored the tears in favour of clapping and blowing kisses to her son. Lucas and AJ both made some weird signal at Jay which he returned grinning and making a ridiculous gun hand at them which made Brooke roll her eyes affectionately. He looked so grown up but at the same time, he was still her boy. Still the one she'd sat in a hospital room staring at, big blue eyes gazing back at her at only a few years old and muttered, "just you and me baby." And now it wasn't just the two of them. They'd always had each other but now they had so many other people to love and be loved by. She felt so freaking blessed it made her cry more. She reached over instinctively to kiss AJ's cheek and was immediately admonished but she didn't care.

Rachel took lots of photographs as Brooke had known how she'd be today and assigned her weeks ago with strict orders not to miss a second. The ones that became favourites hung on the wall in Brooke and Lucas's bedroom. One of all of them on the rivercourt, one of the two Jays trying to beat each other with their diplomas, one of Haley and Nathan kissing with Grace and Jamie both trying not to look and pulling faces at the camera, one of all their kids looking so happy and healthy and so exactly like their parents had so many years before that sometimes Brooke did a double take. Plenty of her with the girls with their heads bent together, closer than ever even in their thirties. One of Owen lifting Amelia up to score a basket. And the one that Rachel had been most adamant that she _hadn't_ taken because _ugh it was way too cheesy for her taste _(Brooke knew better) was of Brooke dimpling at the camera and Lucas leaning in to kiss her cheek.

Brooke cried a whole lot more, ended up wearing Rachel's hat and spent the evening watching her family before Lucas decided they should all chalk their names on the table they had sat on for so many years. They re-wrote them every year, adding on new names as Izzie and AJ grew up and decided maybe the arguing actually mean they kind of loved each other a whole lot and had children of their own- both Brooke _and _Rachel cried the night it was announced they were engaged _and _the night they had little Cecily. Jamie didn't deign anyone important enough for the tradition until he met Chloe in college. In a night club she had accidently spilt her drink all down Jayden's arm immediately making her his hero. Then they added Jayden's wife's name, it wasn't Alicia Frank in the end but a dancer called Callie who loved him completely- and just so happened to be Chloe's room mate. Grace mocked them mercilessly for being way too co-dependent and found her own way travelling the world before coming home at twenty five with the love of her life, Jack and lived two doors away from her parents. Amelia told her parent's that she wouldn't be getting married until she'd successfully become an FBI agent and then refused to add her spouse's name to the list for several years due to international security issues- Rachel was excessively proud.

And whenever Brooke needed a moment of peace she would drag Lucas from whatever task he was doing and make him sit with her at the river court, just holding her hand and spending time with her in _their _world.

_Lucas is the one for me._

_She's the one._


End file.
